Percival: We're both adorable and shy and fangirl-worthy. Let's be friends.

Simon: Nah, I'll continue lusting after Ralph.

Percival: *sniffles* Okay.

Probably-Maurice. In the books it was Maurice: I SHALL BE THE WOLF NOW!

Nightkill: I'm actually quite certain that this is Harold. But in the book it was Maurice. HOW HARD IS IT TO MAKE THAT MORRIS KID DO THIS? We're going to pretend that he is.

Percival: Hee hee. You're funny.

Maurice: I'm a nice guy. How'd I get stuck with Jack and his lot?

Percival: Will you be my best friend?

Maurice: Okay!

Nightkill: ...I think I just started shipping Maurice x Percival. [I've legitly written a Maurice x Percival oneshot. It's in my Thirteen Loves story.]

Slash fans: JOIN US.

Nightkill: Oh, I already have. Just with fewer pairings. [This was written a while ago. I've got lots of pairings now. My OTP is EVERYBODY X EVERYBODY. Except not Jalph, because IT'S TOO MAINSTREAM.]

Jack: I AM HURTING YOUR SHOULDER!

Percival: Okay. *tells him everything* And in the dream I had after that one, it was like SPEECH MEET FROM HELL. And-

Jack: I'm leaving now.

Percival: You hurt my shoulder. *rubs shoulder*

Nightkill: WHY IS THIS KID SO ADORABLE?

Ralph: So...?

Jack: He was talking about this beast-thing. And a 'speech meet from Hell.' But I cut him off on that one.

Ralph: WE ALREADY WENT OVER THE BEAST THING.

Jack: This beast comes out of the sea.

Ominous drum noises: *are made*

Sam or Eric: I'm creepy-looking.

Sam: Maybe that's why you like Roger so much.

Eric: We're identical. If I'm creepy-looking, you're creepy-looking, too.

Nightkill: Every single time I see the waves crashing against that rock I think it's a submarine or something. And I've watched this movie about eighty times. NO JOKE.

Maurice: Daddy says they haven't found everything in the ocean yet. He then started talking about unicorns and sea monsters and stuff... I'm not so sure about my daddy's health... but, anyway, the one that he said was definitely definitely real was the... the... the ones that are really really long and eat people?

Random child thirty: A squid can't come out of the water. It's all... water-y. Can fish come out of the water?

Random child thirty-one: Yeah.

Random child thirty: And live?

Random child thirty-one: No.

Nightkill: Honestly, all the kids in this movie - with the possible exception of Piggy, but that might just be because I don't like Piggy at all - are adorable. And then you go to the 1990 version and you're like OH GOD WHAT HAPPENED. D:

Random child thirty-two: This isn't related to the subject at all, but maybe it's a ghost! :D

Random child thirty-three, AKA the one with the really really funny accent: Maybe that's what it is. A ghost.

Piggy: By the way, I don't believe in ghosts because I'm smart and a total know-it-all.

Nightkill: And what we've all wanted to say from the start...

Jack: Who cares what you believe? FATTY.

Everyone: *giggles*

Jack: I'm awesome.

Simon: I've finally got up the courage to speak, watch as they crush my spirit completely. I AM ADORABLE.

Simon fangirls: SIMON IS ADORABLE.

Simon: Maybe... maybe there is a beast?

Everyone: *giggles*

Simon: I'm sad.

Ralph: BE NICE. OR THE SIMON FANGIRLS WILL GET YOU. Seriously, did you see what they did to Jack earlier?

Simon: I... I'm going to be totally contradictory now and confuse you all, so... what if it's only us?

Piggy: Didn't you say there might be a beast?

Simon: I was implying something. *looks pointedly at Roger, who is nonchalantly readying to drop a littleun out of a tree*

Roger: Don't mind me, just keeping the population down.

Ralph: But we can't repopulate, so there's no point keeping the population down...?

Roger: I think this one may be mentally handicapped.

Percival: SAVE ME.

Maurice: Nooo! Not my best friend!

Roger: Fine. *sulks away, leaving the littleun to fend for himself on top of the tree*

Piggy: Anyway, YOU'RE INSANE.

Simon: Sadface.

Simon fangirls: MUST. KILL. FAT KID.

Random child thirty-four: I AM MODEL.

Ralph: *is suddenly holding the conch* It really appears to be daylight... but we should have left all of this until daylight. We're stupid for talking about ghosts at night. We're all exhausted and stuff, and we're probably going to fall asleep and have scary, scary dreams. Let's vote. Let's vote on everything. So. Who thinks there are ghosts?

All choirboys: *raise hands*

Roger: Might as well join the crowd. *raises hand. Actually, he kind of just slides it up his spear*

Basically everyone: *is raising their hands. It even looks like Simon is*

Ralph: YOU HAVE BETRAYED MY TRUST.

Piggy: I haven't!

Jack: SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Piggy: I stole the conch from Ralph!

Jack: Haha, not for much longer! *attempts to pry conch out of Piggy's hands. Piggy is surprisingly strong*

Ralph: He stole the conch- wait a minute, he stole the frikking conch! Anyway, let him speak-

Jack: And you're this scrawny little kid with funny teeth, why should we listen to you? You can't hunt. YOU CAN'T SING!

Ralph: How do YOU know? Um... um... JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL-

Jack: OH GOD MY EARS.

Ralph: But... I'm the chief? You chose me?

Jack: So?

Ralph: Piggy has the conch?

Jack: Are you and Piggy in a gay relationship?

Ralph: ...

Piggy: ...

Simon: WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME? I TRUSTED YOU.

Ralph: JACK. UNCALLED FOR.

Jack: Jack! Jack!

Ralph: You're breaking the rules!

Jack: Pfft, rules.

Nightkill: Keep in mind, this is the kid that said 'we're not savages' at the beginning of the movie.

Ralph: The rules - and each other, and the conch, and Piggy's glasses, and our shelters, and our clothing, though half of us will discard most of that soon enough - are the only think we've got.

Jack: Wait for it... wait for it... BOLLUCKS TO THE RULES.

Everyone: *gasps*

Jack: We're strong! Despite the oldest of us being what, twelve? And if there's a beast we can beat and beat and beat and beat and beat and beat...

Several random children: *go running from the gathering place screaming. Oh wait, I think they're doing something. No. No, they're not.*

Piggy: I wonder what I'd do if I knew I'd never see a grownup again...

Ralph: I should save a lot of death and give up being chief.

Piggy: OH GOD NO. THEN I'D DIE.

Ralph: You die anyway.

Piggy: Stop ruining the ending! Anyway, blow the conch-

Ralph: I still find that amusing.

Piggy: ...Blowing the conch makes everything better.

Ralph: *snickers*

Piggy: Make them do what you want them to do!

Ralph: I already do... well... kind of... I'm not blowing this thing. It's all gross with... with... germs...

Piggy: ...We're young boys, we don't care about germs.

Ralph: I'm looking for excuses! I'm just scared they won't come back after I blow *snickers* the conch.

AWKWARD SILENCE

Ralph: It looks like I'm sinking into the ground, but I just have an incredibly awkward way of sitting down.

Piggy: I shall follow every move you make, because I'm lame and creepy like that.

Ralph: ...I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that. Are there actually ghosts? Beasts?

Piggy: No?

Ralph: WELL WHY NOT?

Piggy: Was that the wrong answer?

Ralph: EXPLAIN YOURSELF.

Piggy: Because then nothing would make sense. I'm going to go off on something that doesn't make sense either. Because if beasts exist, then houses and streets obviously couldn't exist, either. Oh, and TV. Piggy likes TV.

Ralph: But what if this is a... like... LIKE HARRY POTTER. EXPLAIN THAT, YOU FOOL.

Piggy: Harry Potter hasn't been written yet.

Ralph: Oops. Of course, neither has the song Friday, and the choir/hunter people were singing that.

Piggy: YOU'RE RIGHT. NOTHING MAKES SENSE.

SEERSTELLA~

Ralph: HEY! WE'VE BEEN BRAINWASHED TO ANTI-JALPH.

Roger: …What?

Nightkill: I have. Cx It's hilarious. But I'm still anti-Jalph. YOU SHALL NEVER CONVERT ME.

HUNGERGAMESLOTFFAN~

Simon: At least someone understands.

AZULFOXX88~

Nightkill: Yeah, everybody likes Jalph. I just… don't. I'm not sure why. I mean, my favorite LotF fic is actually Jalph, but… I just… Yeah. I'm just anti-Jalph.

90's Ralph: Why thank you. ;)

ROGERFROMLOTFOBSESSOR~

Sam: I've seen-

Eric: A few fanarts.

Samneric: We are scarred for life.

MEGAN777~

Simon: *is busy frolicking with the butterflies*

Jack: …I don't think you'll get him to like you. We're all gay on this island. Except maybe Maurice-

Maurice: GAY! GAY EVERYWHERE! HUG ME ROGER!

Roger: *runs away from Maurice while giving Megan777 a creepy look*

Random children: We can reproduce asexually.

ALLTHEGOODNONESARETAKEN~

Random choirboy: Perhaps that's what I was doing. Thank you for telling me.

Piggy: JUST SHUT UP. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS POOR, MISERABLE, MOPING, MOANING PIGGY. AND NIGHTKILL IS TOO LAZY TO GO GET HER COPY OF THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS TO COPY DOWN ALL OF MOANING MYRTLE'S ADJECTIVES, SO HA.

Percival: *sniffles* Thank you. I'm not cute at all in the books.