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"So what am I supposed to think about?"
He smiles broadly and clasps his hands together. "I thought you'd never ask!"
I leave the office ten minutes later with a lighter heart and my marching orders.
What is it exactly you feel Bella deserves, and how exactly do you fall short?
I'm sure Emmett and Jas will be able to help me with the second part. I've been a Grade-A asswipe since the incident, good to nobody, especially myself.
I'll be in after lunch, I text Jas. I drop my car near the office and walk to the nearby park.
-o-
I grab a loaded hot dog from my favorite cart and find myself an out-of-the-way tree trunk to slide down and perch for a while. I'm going to start my thinking right this instant.
What does Bella deserve?
Respect.
Valuing her thoughts and desires.
Adoration.
Pampering, appreciating her gifts, bringing her pleasure.
Support.
Hearing her, coaxing out her best, standing tall so she can lean.
Trust.
My hot dog sours in my mouth, and the remainder drops into the grass. I know exactly where I fall short, without any help from anyone.
Painstakingly, left-handedly, I text the doctor, I'm ready.
-o-
Tomorrow, 7 am, Banner returns. Jesus.
Is this punishment?
This is reality. I'm booked, but I'm willing to come in early if you're serious about your recovery. You want this or not?
Yes and thx.
See you then.
My next text is much more difficult, especially with only one working hand.
Bella, I know I fucked up. Sorry doesn't cut it. Want you to know
Aw fuck. Tears sting my eyes as stupid pride threatens to get in the way. We're bigger than my shame.
I'm working to be better for you.
My heart pounds wildly as I push SEND.
A/N: Poor guy. Left-handed texting, all that shame, and now? What will she say? XXX ~BOH