Summer vaccination is over now ;_; apparently there's a dude called ckira who is a kira but old or something? LETS LEARN HIS STORY!
OMG THIS FIC IS ONE YEAR OLD AND FAMOUS WHICH MAKES IT LIKE A PROPER STORY. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES WHOS THE MAN ME!
Ckira got out of bed and had a shave cos he was old and had a beard except he shaved it. He looked at the poster on his wall which was a girl and naked except for a underwear and sexy and then said "I need to kill some dudes today" and taked out his death note. His newspaper wasn't working so he dint know who the evil dudes were!
"Hmm. I dunno who to kill. I will ask."
He put on his snow shoes and coat and hat and socks and a jumper his mom gave him for Chrismas and also some pants because it was snowy and walked outside. A car vroomed past and splattered him with a puddle so he deathnoted the driver who exploded and then his car exploded too.
"THAT'LL TEACH YOU!" ckira screamed dancing on the dead car. Then he knew people might see and ran away in the snow going squish under his snow shoes which were actually tennis rackets cos he lost his snoe shoes in the fire. They were still on fire and left burns in the snow. "I MUST KILL PEOPLE" he screamed getting all itsy cos it was like half nine and normally he killed peeps then got a glass of coffy and some lucky charms and also a shower cos he was stinky sometimes.
He missed his bus to the city so he used his death note to make another bus come and pick him up and then the bus driver would die when he got there. He sat down and lissened to an old guy band like Jefferson Spaceship or something on his ipod. Next to him was the girl from the bus and she was a spy for L but noone knew it not even L.
"Are you a nice day?" said the girl from the bus taking his ipod of.
"yeah I need to ask the cops about something to do with a note… " then he said too much and stuck his hand over his mouth and screamed "I SAID NOTHHING!"
Okay
The girl with a bus said and acted like she saw nothing but then got out her magic phone and shouted "OPERATER! GET ME L! I HAVE A GUY WITH A DEATH NOTE!"
So the operator found L and put him on.
"THIS DUDE CKIRA IS ACTUALY A KIRA! HE HAS A DEATH NOTE AND SOMEONE TOLD ME A CAR EXPLODED AND HE WAS THERE DANCING WITH A DEATH NOTE"
"It could be a coinsidense." L said back munching on pixy sticks. "these things happen all the time."
"okay."
Then ckira got the bus off and it exploded cos of the death note.
Ckira ran through downtown and saw a dude wearing a cool hat and deathnoted him because he wanted the cool hat for himself because it was like a sombrero with feathers and a machine gun.
He found the shop that the cops ran and went in.
"Helloand welcome to the precinct!" said the desk lady (AN from chapter 4 I think I don't remember lol!) smiling like mad cos she just sexed Naomi.
"Hello! Said ckira trying not to be a creepy dude and failing. "I need to know some evil people."
"Why?"
"It's for…………………….. a school project."
"You look too old to be a schooly dude."
"That is because I am."
"Okay. Here are some evil dudes"
She read the list out.
"Hold on, let me get my note book out. So I don't forget"
He pulled out his death note but put his finger over the word death so noone would know. He writ a dudes name down and he died in the jail in front of them.
"WTF!" screamed desk lady.
The cop with an afro came out and said "WTF also"
"That had nothing to do with me" said ckira and they believed him because he was a good liar and he threated to death note them if they dint.
So he was happy and dudes were dying and the bus was on fire and he had a good hat and it was a happy day in light's city.
BUT……
The desk lady was walking down the street in the snow when a girl on fire jumped out and scarred her!
"Whoare you????""" she screamed taking off her hat.
"I am the girl from the bus!" the girl from the bus replied also getting naked.
"What do you want?" the desk lady asked and got off her dress to show a gold one piece made of silk and gold.
"I know that ckira dude is kira" the girl from the bus screamed as they started to sex.
"Now you mention it he did seem suspicious and some dudes dead when he writ in a book like the real kira." Desk lady replied getting happy
"but L wont believe me!"
"L has dead!" desk lady screamed as they stopped to sex.
"Then who did I phone?????"
MEANWHILE IN DARK'S HOUSE…
An evil dude was holding a phone. He was lissening to desk lady and the girl from the bus sexing and was real happy for them and let them finish (GET IT????)
"BLASTED CONFOUNDATIONS" he roared in a manner that was british. "THAT SOD SANDWICH AND HER SODDING DESK LADY HAVE FIGGED IT OUT!"
The mystery dude got up and gave the other mystery dude who a MAGNIFISENT BASTARD a cup of tea cos he was british and the other dude spat it in his face cos he was American and dint drink britishy drinks except for sometimes shandy (AN: it's a britishy drink which my mate (AN: british for friend!) tyler got me when he went to London on vacation which is like beer and lemonade and its alcoholy but you can drink it under 21 which makes it for me and I drink it all the tim now! Also they have newspapers with nakedy ladies in and he got me one and I read it every night! I wish I was british now except for the teeth).
"Well that is tough, mystery dude. I am the new L now and theres nothing they can do it about it so there."
Then he put on his sneakers and a fluffy hat and snow goggles and ran out to the downtown to meet them.
"Hi girls! I'm L" the mystery dude said and they had a threesome. When they were done, the desk lady said "You are much better at sexing than the last L."
"Tell me your name, mysterious stranger." Desk lady asked sexy
"No because someone might death note me."
"You're too smart for me! Now, let's catch this ckira dude!"
"We will!" mystery dude replied "OR MY NAME ISN'T DARK YAGAMI!"