"Ryan time for your nap" I announced going into the playroom to pick him up

"No nap" he yelled throwing a toy at the wall

"Stop it, the baby is sleeping" I placed my finger to my lips "Come on its nap time, mommy's tired too"

"No" he yelled again throwing another block and running out of the room

Joshua started crying and I groaned tilting my head back. He was a pretty good baby but every time Abby or Ryan made a noise he would cry. He was very difficult to get to sleep and the smallest noise would wake him up. We can't even have the TV on at night unless it's on mute. Edward walked in the room as I was going to pick Josh up.

"Need help?" he asked in a monotone voice

"Please, I can't get him to listen" spinning to face him

"Ryan, nap, now" he said sternly

I moved to where Joshua was still crying in his crib and lifted him gently. I cradled him to my chest and bounced slightly.

"It's okay baby" I cooed

As I looked at his innocent face, I wondered why anyone would ever want to hurt a baby. I've been on edge the past couple of days because we had finally decided that we were going to go to the Volturi. I pleaded my case with the rest of the family and they all agreed with me…eventually. Edward was still pretty pissed with me and I think he would be for a while but this was the only way to keep us all safe.

"I think we need to go to the Volturi" I said and they all looked at me like I was crazy

"Bella" Carlisle started "Let's not rush into things"

"I'm tired of hiding and keeping my kids hidden just because of the chance that they might be watching" I turned to my husband "You can't honestly tell me that you feel safe anymore"

"I don't feel safe going there" he countered "Having you and the baby in the line of danger…"

"Do you really think he would do anything? You know he wants me to join him after I'm changed and doing anything to anger us would ruin it. I'm not changing my mind on this and you know I'll do anything to protect him" I turned towards my son who was asleep in my arms

"You know I'll protect him-all of you- but I don't want to take that risk"

"Edward she has a point" Carlisle tried to reason

"And what point is that?"

"That we stay one step ahead of them. Like Bella said, I really don't think Aro would be so rash to do anything"

"And you know we we'll all be there to" Alice gestured to all the siblings "I don't see anything going wrong and they won't be expecting us"

"So you're all turning on me now?"

"Edward bro, this is no way for your kids to grow up. In fear" Jasper added "It'll work out

"You know this is the right thing to do" I looked at him

"I'm still not saying yes" he pounded his fist on the table and got up to leave-Esme trailing behind him

"Ryan just asked me why mommy is being mean"

I turned around to see Edward standing in the doorway watching me.

"I'm not being mean!"

"Bella" he cautioned

"Sorry I'm just nervous"

"You're the one that had this big speech on reasons why we should go so now we're going" his voice rose a little

"That doesn't mean I can't be scared"

"Well it's already been settled"

"Edward!" I gasped "You're making me feel bad about myself. You're making me feel like I'm forcing you to do this"

"Well…"

"You know you wouldn't have agreed to go unless there something in your mind that knew this was a good idea"

"I don't think this is a good idea" he countered

"Then why didn't you say so?"

"Because I was the only one who thought it was a bad idea"

"So, you're the father. I think your decision rules over everyone else's"

"Well that's not the way it went" he crossed his arms "It's dangerous"

"Don't you think I know that? I know this is dangerous but I can't raise our children with the fear that they will always be watched. I can't believe you think that's okay"

"It's not okay but we can find another way to go about this. Going there is not an option"

"Fine, then don't go!" I yelled and stormed out of the room "I'll go and protect my kids by myself"

"Hey" he tried to grab my arm as I left but I shook him off

"Leave me alone"

He actually did as I asked and let me cool down. I didn't want to fight with him but he was making it really difficult not to. I walked into the bathroom and sat against the bathtub. Why couldn't he see that I was doing this to protect our family? I wiped furiously at my tears suddenly mad at him.

"Mommy why are you crying?"

I looked up to see Abby leaning against the door and her face looked just as sad as mine did.

"Mommy's just a little bit upset" I promised "Come here"

I opened up my arms for her and she crawled into them. I wiped the tears from her eyes as well.

"Why were you and daddy yelling at each other?"

"We just had a disagreement. Nothing for you to worry about" I kissed her cheek

"I don't want you to hate daddy"

I blinked in surprise. Where the hell was she getting ideas like this from?

"Baby, sometimes mommies and daddies fight but we still love each other. Especially with your mommy and daddy, we love each other so much and nothing will ever change that. Daddy would tell you the exact same thing. I would never hate daddy"

I wrapped her tight in my arms and stroked her hair. One of the things I hated growing up was listening to my parents constantly fight, I always thought it was because of me. When Abby was born, Edward and I had agreed never to fight in front of her. I never thought it would be an issues since we never fought but I guess there was a time for everything.

"I love you" I whispered

"Love you too, mommy" she whispered back "Can I go tell daddy I love him too"

"I think he'd like that" I laughed lifting her off me

This was going to be a long trip.

It was the morning of when we were leaving and Edward and I haven't talked much since our argument. We basically packed then I went to sleep and even that was pretty awkward. I almost didn't want to go anymore Even when Joshua woke up we barely spoke.

"Are you all packed?" I asked him

"I packed while you were sleeping" he answered "I packed for Joshua too. All he needs is bottles and diapers.

"Okay, then here" I handed him my bag

"I'll go put in the car"

"Okay" that was the extent of our conversation

I finished packing all the clothes for the kids and left their bags by the door. Thankfully Esme had agreed to stay home with them. There was no way in hell I was bringing all three kids there.

"Bella?"

I turned around to see Rosalie at the door, her purse on her shoulder

"Oh, hi"

"Are you okay? You seem very distant, both of you do"

"I'm fine. Edward and I just aren't agreeing with each other. He thinks that I'm being rash and this is such a bad idea and I'm forcing him to our deaths"

"Did he say that to you?" she stepped into the room

"No but I got the point"

"Bella, I think he's just scared"

"I feel like he resents me"

"He doesn't, believe me. If I were going through what you are then I'd be doing the same thing. You're just trying to keep everyone safe"

"At least you get it" I muttered

"Bella?" Esme called "We're leaving"

"Excuse me" I grabbed the bags and made my way out the house and over to the car where the kids were all buckled in. I noticed Edward standing by his Volvo watching me intently but I ignored him.

"Mommy when will you be back?" Ryan asked

"Three days I promise. You won't even have time to miss me" I leaned down next to him and kissed his cheeks. I then moved onto Abby telling her I loved her too. After I watched them leave I went over to the car and wordlessly got in. I saw Emmett and Rosalie packing up their car as well and Alice and Jasper. I hated dragging the family into this but I knew Edward wasn't going to let go alone. He didn't even want me going now.

"Edward?" I asked when we were in the car

"Bella please" he held his hand up

"I can't talk to you?" I crossed my arms

"There's nothing to talk about"

"What the hell is wrong with you? I cried

"You want to know what wrong? He asked "I'm going halfway across the country to probably get killed"

I flinched at his tone and just stared out the window, he never rose his voice at me like that, and frankly it was terrifying. At the moment I wanted nothing to do with him.

"You're scaring me" was the last thing I said

When we pulled up to the airport I didn't even wait for anyone and walked right in. I didn't really want to be near him right now. It was already stressful enough without him yelling at me.

"Bella" I heard him call but I ignored it "Alice go with her"

Great so now I needed a babysitter?

"I'm fine Alice"

"What's with you two?" she asked now walking next to me

"He's aggravating me at the moment. He's making me think this is all my fault and we won't talk to me unless it's to yell at me"

"He's just preoccupied"

"Don't make excuses for him"

She held her hands up and that was the end of that conversation. We made it through security pretty fast since this wasn't a popular time to travel and before I knew it we were on the plane. The plane was very small since we didn't have much time to prepare first class but it would do. I followed the rest of the family while maneuvering the baby seat down the aisle. We found our seat and Edward grabbed the baby seat to help buckle it in place. I then pushed my way in the other seat. We were both very quiet as the plane took off and we didn't even hold hands. I tried to keep my mind focused on what was ahead of us instead of our petty marital problems right now. It still hurt though. Joshua did pretty well, he only cried just as we were about to take off but slept the majority of the time.

"I'm sorry" he said about an hour into the flight "I can't take this not talking"

"I don't like it either"

He reached over to grasp my hand and I let out a sigh of relief "I just didn't know what to say and you seemed like you wanted some distance"

"Because I thought you were angry with me"

"I wasn't angry at you- just about life in general. It's not fair that we have to live this way"

"That's why we're coming here" Joshua started fussing and Edward reached over to unstrap him from his seat "We're doing it for him"

"Just promise me that when we land you will do as I say and not leave my sight"

"I promise" I leaned my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes

I didn't know what was going to happen next but I knew as long as Edward was by my side we'd get through it.

Okay so I know that wasn't that exciting but this was just a filler until the next one. there will probably only be one more chapter and then an epilogue! I just have to figure out how I want this whole thing with the Volturi to go.