~Wally~
I really, I really, whoa
I really need to know
I really, I really, whoa
Or else, you gotta let me go, oh
I really, I really
This time I really need to do things right
Shivers that you give me keep me freezing all night
You make me shudder, oh yeah
I can't believe it, I'm not myself,
Suddenly I'm thinkin' about no one else
You make me shudder
I couldn't believe my ears.
Even after arguing with me today about not singing he was mumbling the words of some sexy turn-on song I couldn't wrap my head around. He thought I was asleep, since I was five feet away, curled up in a ball with my backpack as a pillow and my face turned the other way. I had the mystery egg at my side and had been lying like this for far too long, hoping—knowing—that if I waited long enough and became quiet enough he would start to talk to himself and perhaps let me into that strange world in his head.
I wanted to listen without being heard, and I wanted to try and piece the unconditional puzzle together while he talked randomly about things here and there. I had almost given up hope by the time the chill of the night had set in.
But they he started singing, and I couldn't begin to understand why he said the words he did. Though I hadn't heard the song before I was amazed by how accurate his lyrics were. It was as if he was making it up as he went. Perfect free-styling in a way I couldn't believe possible. I was amazed, and more so than that, I was enthralled in his voice.
Though he had great range and power, I preferred to hear it clearly when he held back. Like now while he thought he would wake me—he was near whispering and yet it sounded perfect. The wind was his orchestra, the grass was his conductor, and the sky was his studio. I had to guess it was his heart that leads him away from that all in reality.
All day I had spent trying to understand why he would give up such a life of fame like he claimed he did. He never explained it, and I never got up the nerve to ask, so it was gnawing on my brain like a bad itch. What could have possibly made him leave his life and go to such a small town like Verdanturf? Honestly there was no rational reason for it. City folk never stooped to our level.
And yet he did, though the music of the big world still was playing in his heart. He drummed his fingers softly in the grass, keeping beat while he went on and on with the magical blabber.
Give me affection
I need your perfection
Cause you feel so good
You make me s-s-s-stutter, stutter
I shivered.
If I could touch you, I'd never let go
Now you got me screaming and I cannot shut up, oh, shut up, yeah
Now I am lying on the bedroom floor barely even speaking
Nervously I played with a blade of grass, for a moment concentrating on something other than his lyrics and hoping that I wasn't feeling the way I thought I was. I wanted to turn over and look at him, to read the expressions on his face while he sang. I wanted to see if maybe he was making faces to go along with the distant and yet so powerful moans between verses. No doubt he was having some sort of musical orgasm over there.
I'll give you everything
Give some attention to me
All I want is you and me always
Give me affection
I need your perfection
Cause it feels so good
You make me s-s-stutter, stutter, stutter.
'No you.' I wanted to say out loud but held my tongue. 'You make ME stutter.'
Silence dwindled for a moment, and I was holding my breath for the next line, hoping that I would be able to mouth the lyrics along with him. He had been going back and forth for so long with this song I thought I was getting it down. By now I should know when the chorus was coming, but knowing Ruby he would switch it up again.
"Stutter…" he whispered, drawing out that strangely dirty word. "Shudder…"
I forced a relatively shaky breath down my throat before balling my hands up into fists. No Wally, NO! I felt as though I had to scold myself for such behavior. Something was always wrong with me… even on a night like tonight where I should be perfectly fine there was always something.
"Stutter…" his breath reached me with a wave of heat. My face went aflame, and for a split second all I could see was the strong strides he took over those waves today on the lake. I couldn't even remember what his clothes looked like, just his smooth muscular chest and his pleasant face. Sharp features, tight cheekbones, and a terribly attractive scar above his left eye…
Oh Arceus what's happening to me?
My lower lip trembled with heat and a strange feeling came over me. My insides all seemed to coil and uncoil again. Like the way it felt when you dropped in an elevator too quickly, or a roller coaster in slow motion. My lower stomach lurched with a passionate hunger and I thought for a second I would vomit all over the place.
So much for pretending to be asleep. Swallowing hard I pushed past the surprise attack in my lower regions. I bit down hard on the side of my hand, checking for a nose bleed while also trying to silence the urge to guzzle air, which was the worst thing I could do in this situation. That restraining for air was what made me pass out the first time I met Ruby. I forced another breath but it didn't sound normal.
When was the last time I felt like this? I couldn't remember, though it was a familiar feeling altogether. And I knew exactly what was happening.
A curse that came with being a human male. A strenuous swelling of our most precious body part. My face must have been absolutely cherry red, my eyes lolling and half lidded with this sexual sensation. I was hard… hard and fighting hyperventilation. Why? Why? This wasn't normal for me at all. And I was so embarrassed. Surely my hot face would set the grass on fire.
"You're so full of shit Wally!"
I gasped in shock at the voice, letting in that wonderful needed air, but creating a panic in my heart. It raced and—like the song—stuttered.
"I knew you were faking." Ruby snorted.
"Yo—you're the one tha—that's full of it!" I tried to find my voice and counteract him, but it was just a squeak in the night. Apparently my entire man hood had collected in the base of my erection."You do sing!"
"I know." He said simply. "But not in public."
"Then why-?
"Would you have stayed awake all night waiting?" Ruby asked, and I could hear the grass rustle as he turned from his back to face me. I turned too, to look him in the eyes and see just how arrogant he was.
Surprisingly his face was soft and innocent, and to my intense interest he wasn't wearing his hat at all. Maybe that was because it was still drying from earlier, but I liked to believe it was because he was comfortable with me.
"I knew I wasn't crazy." I whispered just loud enough so that five feet of space wouldn't disband the noise. He heard me—but barely.
"Nahh… but you are the only person that has ever heard me sing."
"Re—really?" I blinked, a warm feeling spreading through my chest and making it tighten. Not in the bad way though. "What about Sapphire?"
If I wasn't mistaking he flinched at the name of his ex. "Nope." Was all he said. "I figured it didn't matter—you had already heard me once anyways."
Twice, I corrected mentally. But there was no need to go into details about how I stalked him. I blinked thoughtfully; trying to understand just what it was exactly—that had me feeling this way.
I could have blamed it on the fact that I hadn't pleasured myself in over a year, but that would be such a rational excuse it was wrong. I wasn't about to lie to myself when the truth was right there in front of me. It was Ruby. Something about him that just twisted me up into a knot of nosebleeds and erections and new found bravery.
"You sing really well." I said after a moment, shifting so that my thighs were pressed tighter together. Better yet, I could just lay on my stomach. I moved swiftly as naturally as I could.
"Thanks." He smirked up at the sliver of a moon in the black sky. More light was coming from the stars than anything. "Now go to sleep."
I sighed, wishing that sleep was an option. But now especially, I would be up for who knows how long fighting the desire of things I wouldn't dare touch.
"Ruby…" I mumbled uncomfortably.
"What?"
"I—I—like listening to you sing." Oh Arceus what was I saying? "You should sing—more."
"Maybe in my sleep." He sighed and rolled onto his other side away from me again. I stared at his back between the blades of grass. Only in a perfect world would he be my lullaby...
I folded my arms under my chin and perched my lips. "Goodnight… Ruby." His name made me happy in places that shouldn't have emotions.
"Night." He whispered back.
…
~Sapphire~
"You know, you're not exactly being easy to like." I felt the lecture of the century coming from the one person in this world I thought I would never let get to me. He was broad, he had hair that stuck up in the back on its own, he had straight angular features, and most of all he had the most daring emerald eyes.
"Shut up Brendan." I rolled my eyes. "You think I want this?"
"I don't see why not." He pulled pushed a smaller box of stage clothes aside and off a much larger crate of props. With a huff he sat down next to me and leaned his elbows against his knees and his chin against his hands. He sighed. "Sapphire, I know you think that he's coming back and things will work out, but really? Why give him the time of day?"
"He's my best friend." I refused to look at him.
"I can be your best friend." He said smoothly. "If you would just open up to me… Sapphire I could be your everything. I'd be there for you… and stand up for you and make you strong when you feel weak. I'll catch you when you fall, I'll be there for you! I will! This isn't stage life; I'm being honest right now."
Throughout the last two days I had discovered that Brendan wasn't as identical to Ruby as I thought he was. He was patient and kind and willing to help anyone in need. He liked to be the center of attention and he liked to be the ringleader. He was a natural at it I might add, though it displeased me to know.
Brendan was a strong soul, but a weak heart. And that there was exactly what Ruby had that he didn't. Ruby had more heart in a single cell than Brendan had in his whole body. Ruby was fiery and not easily pleased, while it seemed Brendan was only out to please everyone else. At one point in time Ruby had been like that… but it was always forced and painful to watch. You could tell Brendan just wanted to please everyone.
He was a kiss ass to say the least.
And in the state of mind I was in, it was pretty damn hard not to succumb to his kiss ass ways and starting kissing ass myself. He was sweet and kind and every time he tried to win me over with words like "your one and only" and "I'll be there for you" I couldn't help but think of what Ruby would have said.
"How about a battle?" I could nearly hear his addictive voice. Ruby would have said "you know it always make you feel better." And then he would have let me win, just because he knew that letting me with would both make me feel better and piss me off at the same time. I sighed.
Anyone could talk the talk, but only Ruby could walk the walk.
"Sapphire." Brendan whispered, leaning over to look at me while I tried to my hardest to look away. "You're hurting and you shouldn't be. Ruby is the one that should be falling apart. It's his loss."
"I know." I lied, just to get him to shut up.
"Then give me a chance." He pulled his hand up gently and set it beside my jaw. Gently he pulled my face over so that I was forced to look at him. I blinked twice and shook my head, pouting. Why couldn't Ruby show half that kind of devotion to me? Why didn't Ruby love me like Brendan so obviously did?
"Let me take you out tonight." Brendan suggested with a luxurious tone. "You won't regret it, I promise."
I looked deep into those emerald eyes hesitantly, feeling like I was on the edge of something greater than just your average cliff. It was like stage fright and nausea mixed together, making my heart beat faster.
"Don't you want one night to just forget about him?" he murmured, raising an eyebrow and smiling a perfectly straight, angelic smile. I knew Ruby's would have been crooked and devious, and I hated myself for it. How could I forget about Ruby when Brendan looked so much like him?
But more than anything else in the world I knew I did want to forget about Ruby… not forever… but just for one night. It was so hard to be in constant denial with yourself. I was worn out and sluggish and performing had been hell because of it. No doubt I was in misery because of that runaway boy, and though I was awaiting the day he came back to "talk" to me, the thought of forgetting him was tempting.
So was getting out of this rut and actually dressing in normal clothes.
"Where do you want to go?" Brendan asked sweetly. "Dancing? I'll take you dancing."
Oh Arceus forbid. Dancing… like I didn't do enough of that around here anyways. The managers had been pushing fluid steps and lithe movements on me for the past forever because Ruby had always refused. He used to say that dancing was private, and that you shouldn't abuse it because then it's not special. But never once had he ever asked me to dance with him… A spark of anger lit up in my heart.
"Sure." I said to through tight lips, as if this was suddenly a jealousy competition. Not that Ruby would ever really know I went dancing with Brendan, but the idea of him knowing made me feel slightly better. Ruby had always been protective of me, so he should be jealous of that fact.
"Really?" Brendan asked in surprise, befuddled by my sudden backing down.
"Yeah." I agreed and pushed away from him, thoroughly disgusted with myself. I must be pretty damn crazy if I think this would actually work. How could someone so similar to Ruby take me away from him?
But his eyes were sparkling and I knew he was thrilled. Brendan, despite being a full on Casanova, was innocent. He didn't understand just how hard this was for me, but more than anything I knew he wanted to. The truth was hard to bear; believe it or not I would have respected him more if he was a jerk.
I didn't want him to tell me I was better than Ruby. I didn't want him to make me feel like I was on top of the world. I didn't want him to sway me in any which direction with his smooth talk. I didn't want him. I wanted Ruby.
And yet this desire way burning in my stomach and I could not refuse. Brendan…
He was everything I ever wanted in a guy, and I hated it. No girl should ever have to put up with this much perfection, because it would only lead to disaster. If there was no flaws then there was nowhere to go but crazy. Brendan would drive me crazy.
But then again… Ruby drove me crazy too. I was so conflicted I couldn't stand it. I fled quickly, out of the studio and towards the backdoor. If I could just go home and have some time to think… Maybe then I could convince myself that this was utterly wrong.
"I'll pick you up at six." Brendan said as I threw open the door and stormed away.