WARNING THIS CHAP HAS A LOT OF SLASHING IN IT COS LIGHT NEEDS TO DO IT TO SAVE AMERCIA

The buzz went off at L's new house which wasn't in his old tower cos that burned down! In stead he was in a trailer in a trailer park for rich dudes at the top of the biggest skycraper in Lights city.

"WHO THE BUGGERY IS THIS?" watari bellowed into the buzz machine and pressed the buzz button that made the door unlock.

"It's light yagami!" light yagami repled loudly but not to loud incase someone else heard him and new he was kira. "Im here to sex up L and bake cup cakes and im all out of cupcakes which is why I need to bake them!"

"THEN COME ON UP MY FINE FREND!" roared watari. Five seconds later the elevator binged and out jumped Light. He was wearing a silver suit and there was a rose on it and his shirt was painted with pictures of dogs playing cards like the Simpsons Halloween sow. On his head was a hat. It was a nice hat and it had a picture of lights face on it so everyone new who he was.

"hello l" Light screamed glomping the hell out of the waffley big eyed police dude.

"Hi!" replied l macking on light real hard cos they were like boyfs or something. "Lets sex!"

"But I haven't made cupcakes yet!" replied Light panicing and waving his arms around.

So they made pancakes and then they sexed.

Ls bed was made of candies and candy sheets and had candy pillows also made of mashmalos except that L had ate them. Light took off his suit and the other suit underneat which was made of lace and silk and all sexy like girly undies. L took off his cloths too but it was just his borin white tshirt and jeans and not shoes so I wont bother talking about them.

They sexed very hard and made so much nosse that a bunch of pigeons flew away all over the city and some dudes thought it was an earthquake but it wasn't because it was just some noisy sexing and Ls trailer was rocking real hard then it stopped cos they were done.

"I wasn't finished yet!" whined Light.

"That is none of my consern" replied L like the god of war dude but did it again anyway and then they were done.

They lay back and L was smoking a ciggeret cos that's what peeps do after sexing I think.

"Do you have a dad?" Light asked cuddling L.

"I do not because I was left at Watari's house when I was a baby cos hes my gramps and also runs an orphanage which is good I guess!" L said back.

"HE TELLS THE BLOODY TRUTH!" added watari.

"But if you did have a dad what would he be like?"

"He'd probably look just lick me except taller and he would be a creepy dude and also evil for leaving me with my gramps and going of on a round the world mission to become the evilest dude ever. But he dint so it doesn't matter."

"But what if he did?"

"I NEVER FORT OF THAT!" exploding L jumping out of bed so hard he hit his head on the sealing fan. "WE NEED TO GO AND SAVE AMERICA BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!"

Ten minutes later at the police

"hello i am L" said a dude at the door. "let me in because I need to solve a crime"

The desk lady opened the door sexily. She was naked because then criminals came to see her naked and then they got arrested.

"You look taller than L" she said naked.

"i am not felling well cos i ate too much candy" he said back and dint look at the naked lady. "anyway i have to go now"

He got up the stars and ran all the way to the secret floor than noone new about except him because he had builded the police station and put an extra floor on the roof. In here was a lab where he made bombs and also icecream for his day job as an icecream dude. Hanging from the sealing screaming in pain was………. MATT!

"okay i saved you from the car crash" the creepy dude said sharpening a samrai sord and sparks went everywhere "now get talking or i will cut bits of you starting with your googles"

"I don't what you want!" scream matt and he wet himself and pee dripped onto the floor really rank style.

"i need your secret death note" the creepy dude replied and stabbed matt in the google. "the next time it will your nose so get talkin"

"I don't have a secret death note!" he screamed and peed even more cos dark had once writted that in the everything note cos he was a dick. "And even if I did which I don't I wont give it to you!"

"yes you do i seen you use it now talk" and he put down the sord and picked up a bigger sord.

"OKAY! I THREW IT IN A VOLCANO SO YOU CANT GET YOUR CREEPY DUDE HANDS ON IT!"

"then i will make a swap" said the creepy dude and he grabed Matt and tied him to a stick and got in his icecream truck and drove slow to the volcano. The icecream truck played the darth vader song as he went.

"NO! NO! NOO! NOOO! NOOOO!" screamed matt as the creepy dude took him to the top bit where the lava is.

"yes" said the creepy dude and lobbed him real hard and matt fell in the volcano and the volcano god took the sacrifise and gave the creepy dude the secret death note. It was a secret death note so it dint have the rules in it and the cover said "NOT EVIL". A secret death note is better than a normal death note cos you can use it and noone will know what it is or what happen.

The creepy dude took out a pen but it was out of ink so he threw in it the volcano and the volcano god gave him a new evil pen that used lava for ink.

He wrote………….. MY SON

WHO IS THE CREEPY DUDES SON? WHY DOES HE WANT TO KILL HIM? WHAT EVIL THINGYS WILL HE DO WITH THE SECRET DEATH NOTE? ANSERS NEXT TIME! :O :O :O