Hey everyone Kitsune here! -waits for Avatar fans to get the Zuko reference- See there it is. Ok anyway, this one kinda tore at my soul to write...BECAUSE I WANNA WRITE MY LEMONS! Oh...and Carmella of course.

So anyway yes yes the rated M lemon's you've all been waiting for will be up next chapter and I myself (and of course The Doctor) can't wait for.

Stay tuned!

The ride was pretty much a blur to hospital. John didn't even remember getting in the car or the drive it's self all he remembered was standing outside Carmella's door while Adrian and Sherlock were at her bedside.

"Car? Carmella?" Adrian said and hoped that some snarky smartass comment would soon slip past the paler than ever woman.

"We put her to sleep to make her more comfortable." A doctor said and moved into the room past John, "We also put in an IV to help her regain some nutrients she lost." The doctor explained and Adrian asked a bunch of questions the final one being if he could stay the night with her.

"I would normally only allow family but I guess it's alright." The doctor said and excused himself

The three men just stood there, none of them really knew what to say, no one moved for awhile until Adrian stood.

"I think I'll go to the inn and get something to change into." He said and started out the door.

Sherlock just stood there over his childhood friend, expression unreadable, John put a hand on his shoulder.

"She can't be like this." Sherlock said, still looking at Carmella, "She's too strong John, it hasn't even been a month."

John really didn't know what to say, in the short time he'd known Carmella she seemed like this big person who could fill a room wherever she went and do just about anything. He'd seen her fall but disbelieve she was actually hurt, seen her laugh, and joke with Sherlock in a way he knew though possible; now doctors were 'making her comfortable' he knew what that meant. There was nothing more that they could do and they were just easing her symptoms before she died.

"We should go Sherlock." Was all John could muster.

Sherlock looked reluctant to move from his spot by her bedside but caved and allowed John to direct him out.

"I'll go back to the hospital and let you know if we can come back." Adrian said and adjusted the bag resting on his shoulder.

"Right, we're heading back then." John said.

He and Adrian were standing in the hall of the inn they had been staying, Sherlock was packing or so John hoped.

"Right, take care." Adrian said and patted John on the shoulder.

"That's it?" John asked when Adrian had turned and was walking away.

Adrian smiled and chuckled, "You have pretty eyes." He said and waved his hand.

John smiled, "Thanks," he chuckled, more to himself than anything else.

He turned to go back to the room and Sherlock was already standing and waiting for him. He looked more worn down than he had done in the past few days. He lifted his bag up a little.

"I have everything of mine." He said.

John smiled sadly, "Ok, did you pack anything of mine."

Sherlock looked a little uncomfortable, "I tried…"

John looked into the room and sitting on the bed was his suitcase with clothes shoved in and looking very disorderly.

John chuckled, "That's for the attempt." He said and went to fix his belongs.

They got in a taxi then on the train in silence, Sherlock seemed lost in that palace of his. John just let him be, it was starting to get late on the ride back to Baker Street. John thought to himself, he hoped Adrian would sleep well, he hoped Carmella would be a least be better enough to come back tomorrow, but the chances were slim. He wondered what they would do with the body, if they would deliver it to Scotland Yard or if Sherlock would have to take her home. John looked at Sherlock who still looked lost; would he still do it? Would Sherlock have the heart to carve up his friend and perform experiments on her body? Was it any different than the other stiffs he picked up if he didn't consider her a friend? Or would he refrain because of their history?

The train at last stopped, by now the moon was starting to rise, and they still had to catch a taxi and be home. The silence between the doctor and detective was sad, and heavy. Neither knew what to say or rather, John didn't know how to console Sherlock who showed no outwardly signs of grief.

The pair at last reached home, Sherlock went in first and John had hoped by some stroke of luck Mrs. Hudson would be awake and could comfort Sherlock in that way she does but no such luck could be found.

Sherlock dropped his bag at the door and sat on the couch, looking defeated. John came in, moved the bags and sat beside Sherlock.

"I've gone through everything," Sherlock said looking up at the ceiling, "Five times."

"Gone through everything?" John echoed, looking worried at Sherlock.

"Everything that I could have done to help her, everything I could have said, just,"He sighed, "Everything."

"Sherlock there's-"John started but he's and Sherlock's phone went off.

'Carmella's gone.

-Adrian'

Sherlock didn't breathe, John didn't breathe and for the longest moment neither of the two just sat there, air in their lungs began to ache and finally both exhaled.

"Gone." John said in total disbelief.

"Gone," Sherlock echoed.

John looked to Sherlock; his face was said, he didn't speak but the look in his eyes spelled shock and his mouth moved as if to speak but nothing came out.

"She's gone," he said at last, a tear sliding down his face, "she's really gone," he looked to John, "I never told her she was my first real friend, or how much she meant to me."

John closed his eyes a moment to smother the tears forming in his eyes, "Sherlock, there was nothing we could do. I mean-"

John's eyes snapped open to see Sherlock…

With his lips pressed up on John's.

As always review my sweet poppets. Lemony goodness awaits you in the next chapter. Can you stand to wait?