HEY I WAS AWAY BUT IM BACK NOW. BACK WITH A VENGENCE! AND NACHOS! AND A MOUNTEN DEW EXCEPT I SPILLED IT. SOME PEEPS SAID THERE WASN'T ENOUGH DETECTIVE STUFF SO NOW THERE IS!

"I've. got. something. Over. beep." said the death note radar. Watari looked at the screen which was all green and spinny and made his face all green and spinny.

"THE F-CKWANKING DEATH NOTE RADAR FOUND A DEATH NOTE!" he screamed hitting the table and making a teapot explode.

"Who used it gramps?" asked L all innocently eating a truck full of Hersy Kisses.

"I DON'T SODDING KNOW YOU BUGGER. IT WAS A SECRET DEATH NOTE!"

Everyone gasped except light's mom cos she didn't know what one was cos she's not seen the show. Then Light told her.

"Flipping crumbles!" she swore. "How the darn it will you find that evil dude?"

"I ALSO DON'T SODDING KNOW YOU BIRD. BUT IT SAYS THE CREEPY BLOKE WROTE 'MY SON' IN IT."

"So it could be anyone? We are doomed! Doooomed! Dooooooomed!" wailed Light like a baby who licked saying "doooooomed".

"Wrong! We know they have a son! That means every dad in the world could have done the creepy but noone else." "said night using her super detective skills.

"There's only one thing to do!" said Day leaping into acton. He went to the tv station and asked to go on the news and they let him cos hes the good twin so he cant be up to evil.

"What's up people!" (GET IT!!!) he said thumbs up and a cheesy grin stuck all over his face. "I have good news and bad news!"

Everyone was excited and watched closely in case it was the lottery and they won. But it wasn't the lottery………. IT WAS DEATH.

"The good news is that we have disovered a new death note and it's a secret death note which is pretty cool I guess. The bad news is that every dad in the world is under arrest."

Every dad in the world went "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" all angry and shocked and scarred and repressed and dancing with unhappy and screaming and ragey and angry and pokey all at the same time except the evil one who just put his fingers together and said "JUST AS PALNNED!"

AT THE POLICE

Every dad in the world was a lot of dads so they needed to use the janitors cupboard where he kept the paitn and also some toilet paper as a jail. This made dark sad.

"I AM SAD!" he roared looking sadly at the lock on the door and the desk lady who was naked. "I wanted to sex you but I guess it will have to wait until I SAVE AMERICA!"

"I am sadder" desk lady said and it was true cos she really liked sexing even more than dark cos he was the best sexxer in the world and they said so on tv.

"Desk lady!" said the cop with a afro sprinting in. his afro went everywhere like a machine gun made of hair. "Theres a chick at the desk!"

"THIS IS A JOB FOR DESK LADY!" she said like superman and flew to the desk except she cant fly cos shes just a normal lady so she just walked but did it extra fast. She was naked but it was too impotent for her to get dressed.

"hello i am a chick" said the creepy chick. She had long hair which looked like a wig and a big chest which looked like a soccer ball in her top. "i need to speak to the chief of police about something. there is a cat in a tree or something stupid and only he can help."

"I'm sorry. The chief of police is soichiro yagami and he's Dark's and also lights dad so he got arrested."

"that is a shame. i guess i will stay here and wait until he is released. the cat might be dead by then you know. and noone likes dead cats except for creepy dudes which i am not cos i am a chick."

"A DEAD CAT?" screamed desk lady. She licked cats and they licked her and a dead cat was the saddest type of cat! "I WILL TAKE YOU TO HIM RIGHT NOW!"

She grabbed creepy chick and took her to the janitors cupboard. Dark got all jelous cos he fort they were going to sex.

"hello mister yagami" she said. "i have bad news. an evil dude has put cats in every tree in the city and we need every cop to save them before they blow up."

"OMG!" swore soichiro. "But I am arrested so there is nothing do to. I will have every cop left in the city help you though. That's L Dark Night Light Day and Watari"

"I fort watari was a dad!" screamed desk lady. "Why wasn't he arrested?"

"His son went missing years ago just after L was born."

"that's a damn mystery" said the creepy chick. "i guess if he was still here he would be alive and dressed as a chick or something anyway i need to see L and do things bye"

"That chick was creepy" Desk lady said to Soichiro and then they sexed cos I felt sorry for him cos he culndt sex last time cos he was old but now hes okay.

IN THE POLICE ROOM

"I'VE SEARCHED EVERY WANKING TREE IN THE CITY BUT I DINT FIND A CAT!" said watari getting out of the watarimobile.

"damn must have been a mistake sorry for wasting your time"

"No problem creepy chick!" dark said slapping her in the back. The soccer ball fell out of her chest but noone noticed and she stuck it back in. "Glad to help. But now we have a bigger mystery to solve! WHO WILL DIE!"

"it must be a son" night said cos shes real smart and the best detective in America.

"and he must have an evil dad!" said L making himself even smarter and getting back the title.

"That means it must be…" said Dark working things out in his head. "Near!"

Then L died.

OMGGGGGGG THAT WAS TOO GOOD. NEXT TIME SOMETHING MIGHT HAPPEN.