Ignite Me

Chapter 3: "He Was Forgiven, She Was Understood"

During the walk to Omega Point, thoughts of how Warner would react to my leaving filled my head that I didn't realize that we were already here. I remembered Adam asking me if I was okay, and I remembered telling him yes, my voice empty and my mind distant. Which only gained the attention of the boy walking in front of me, asking me what was wrong.

Everything."Just nervous and worried." I really am the least of your worries—you won't even look at me once I tell you where I was. "It just felt so long since I left that maybe I wouldn't be familiar with—everything and everyone anymore." That was the truth, of course.

He laughed at that and told me: "Nothing changed, really. Except that things have felt... empty lately." And I needn't ask twice to know what—or who—he was pertaining to.

But it wasn't true. Something did change in Adam. There's some sort of determination in his voice when he speaks. His hair has gotten longer, but in a way that it's unnoticeable unless you look closely, and he hasn't shaved for days maybe. His eyes, those blue eyes have turned into a darker shade, as if something had cleared in them. There's something in him that made him look as if he saw the light and finally escaped the darkness that is his fears.

Yet I could also see the way his shoulders tense after every five minutes, the shadows under his eyes. The jaw that works through every silence that pass us. The twitch in his hands, as if he wants to reach out for mine, but telling his hand to return to his side. I could feel how tired he is and I want to ask him why he's doing this. What's he been going through and why he looks like hell. But I don't because I know the answers to those things; I just want to hear him his answer his voice because the silence is killing me.

Abruptly, he halts. I bump into him and mutter an apology and move to stand by his side. The building is no different from when I last saw it. You'd think of it as just a small shop—a restaurant or a wide house—but the truth is that the real place is hidden underground, where no one would suspect that there are people down there who have gifts that are unimaginable.

Omega Point.

Adam reaches for the doors, but they swing open even before his skin touches the metal bars and almost hit him in the face if it wasn't for his quick reflexes. Adam swears under his breath, surprised and angered. The invisible person who pulled the prank laughs.

My mouth escapes a startled gasp when Kenji suddenly flashes in front of me, hands inside his jeans pockets, lips tugged into a smug grin. I was close to touching him when I jerked back. You're not at Aaron's, I remind myself. Everyone you ever knew and loved—except for him—can't touch you.

Kenji's laughter subsides when he sees the color drain my face, raising his hands up, and steps back a little. "I was just giving Kent a surprise, since he's been looking so down." His eyes quickly shift to Adam's direction, before returning to mine. "But then I saw you and decided to give a surprise too. Sorry—I forgot about the whole can't-touch-me thing."

"You better be." I mutter under my breath.

"Who made you act as moody as the other guy?" He jokes, moving to Adam's left. "Glad you're back though. Kent here has been sulking for a week, isn't eating well, training everyday. He doesn't when scold me for getting naked—"

"Okay, okay." Adam says, a light color heating his cheeks. My heart jumps a little at the sight of him, embarrassed. He's been training everyday just for my sake—just so he could hold me again. I want to thank him, hug him, hold him. I don't.

"So where are we going?" I ask no one in particular as we walk through the wide hallway. Some people in the halls are whispering and looking at me, some of their words I can make out: It's her. Juliette Ferrars. The girl with the deadly touch. Where did she disappear to? But I couldn't I wouldn't look at them right now. I'm keeping my head up and my eyes straight, and, for once, I don't mind what they're saying about me.

"To meet Castle." Adam answers. We turn left. A boy, maybe ten years old, is smiling and waving at us.

"He's waving at you." He whispers in my ear, sending a shiver through my spine. I ignore the feeling and wave back. The boy's smile widens and he darts off into what I think is his room.

Weird. "What's that about?"

Kenji snorts. "You don't know? After your heroic acts everyone's looking up to you now. You're a hero now after what happened."

"After what's happened?"

"You'll find out. First," He says. "We have to announce the return of the Prodigal Son to Castle." I could tell he's joking, but I don't understand what it means or if it's from a book. I'm spared from making a comeback or laughing because the three of us stop in front of a large door with a plaque hanging above, engraved with the words Castle's doors are tinted. Something like a shadow moves in front of us — A soldier? Castle? — from the other side of the door pushes a button on the wall that automatically opens the door. The soldier salutes to Adam and Kenji, who returns the gesture, and smiles at me when my eyes meet his. Adam grunts.

When we sit down the white chairs while waiting for Castle—"He will arrive in a few minutes." The soldier said— Kenji starts. "So how was your trip to nowhere land? Where were you anyway?"

"I've been—staying in this abandoned house." Lie. "They had this dog named Aaron. Then Adam found me while I was roaming the streets. And—" I don't know why I'm saying this much.

He continues asking me a serious of questions—that were answered with a mix of truth and lies—when I realize that Adam's moving his hand to touch mine, to hold mine.

It's a mistake for me to slip my fingers between his and think of Warner at the same time. I could feel the softness of his palm, the heat of his skin. I want to place his hand on my cheek and melt in his touch, replace cold air surrounding me. But then I realize this isn't Aaron's hand and this just too wrong too wrong I don't know what's right and wrong anymore. What will they do if they find out what happened to me? What will happen to Warner? Does Castle know about it already? Involuntarily, I squeeze Adam's hand. He looks at me through the corner of his eyes and smiles encouragingly.

72 seconds later the door in front of us opens and Castle enters the room in quick but graceful strides, hands behind him. His usually combed haired is disheveled, his clothes are rumpled. There's an unusual weight that makes his shoulder slouch and dark shadows under his eyes that I've never seen before. I know he's a guy who's close to reaching his fifties, but I have never seen him look so tired and old until today.

Castle settles himself on the large black armchair and exhales. "It's been more than a week since your disappearance, Ms. Ferrars." I nod. "We've tried to track you down, find any clues about your location. The two men were the last to see you"—He gestures to Kenji, who looks as if he hadn't heard his name, and Adam, who is looking at me with an intensity that makes me squirm in my seat—" taken away by them, by Anderson's men. If my assumptions were correct, you would've been imprisoned or dead by now if they really had captured you. So tell me, Ms. Ferrars, what really happened."

I won't tell you. If I do you'll hate me. But then, I don't care. I want to tell him everything; about Anderson, how I was shot, Aaron saving me, Sonya and Sara healing me. I want to tell someone anyone what I want to say, but I tell myself Castle isn't the best candidate for spilling secrets. I may be brave enough to look Castle straight in the eye, but not enough. Never enough.

"Escaped," I choke out. "I escaped from..." My eyes closed themselves before I could say more. I was thinking of more words to come out, but, with no more imagination left in me, I switch to a different plan. Tears start to form and slip away from my eyes as I tell myself to imagine destruction, to remember how Anderson had shot me, the desperation in Aaron's face when he revived me. But only one thing worked; a memory from my past.

"You're a monster. You're not our daughter. Get away from us! GET AWAY!"

A pair of hands are holding me, pulling me out of the horrible memory. Adam's pulling me against him, preventing me from falling off my seat. His brows are furrowed, worry laced in his expression. I want to push him away, to tell him not to touch me, to get away. But I'm too tired for this.

"I'm okay," I tell Adam with a reassuring smile, which convinces him to move back to where he stood. My attention turns to Castle. "What else should I say? They took me to their house—yes, the one we went to before—and had me meet the supreme. He almost shot me, you know? But I was able to escape and find refuge somewhere else." I have never sounded so strong and brave in my life, even I think that I could believe that these lies are so real.

He nods once and clears his throat. "As much as I'd like to ask you more questions, I would want you to rest. And get a change of clothes." He eyes what I'm wearing and I squirm uncomfortably on my seat. He wouldn't ask where I got this from, right? He wouldn't think that I got this from Aaron and that he really took care of me—

I'm becoming paranoid.

"I do have some good news for you." Castle went on. "The war ended days after. Anderson claimed surrender a day after. But we know that he isn't done with us yet, and that there will be another battle to face. For him to stop something like this was unfathomable, but for whatever reason it is, we were glad for the interruption."

So he did end the war. But Castle was right— it isn't finished yet; he's only just begun. His plan of using me as a weapon might be abandoned, but I know that since he knows now about Castle and Omega Point, he will stop at nothing to destroy us—destroy anything in his way. But whether he does know that I'm still alive or not, I will not let him do this.

"But there's more. After he had declared surrender, Winston and Brendan were found lying in front of Omega Point, unconscious."

Winston and Brendan. For a second, every negative feeling evaporates and I'm relieved they were freed. "Where are they?" I ask, hopeful. "They're not—they're not—are they—"

"No, no." He replied quickly. "But they were badly injured. Tortured, maybe. They haven't woken since, but both are still breathing and recovering. Also Sonya and Sara—"

My eyes widen. They're here, too?

Sonya and Sara were the ones who saved me from almost dying. They know that Aaron was the one who asked for help, that I was in Aaron's house all along. "They're here?" I whisper.

He nods. "A day before the other two were found. They said they had found a way to escape from the army's hands but wouldn't tell us how. Traumatized, maybe. They said that they need to talk to you," His eyes lock with mine and an unknown emotion flickers in them. "to the person who freed them. Is it true, Juliette?"

Juliette. He called me by my first name. "Yes," I say, my body trembling. "Yes, I did."

Suddenly there was a loud crash and a low groan. The three of us turn to Kenji, sitting beside Adam, who has fallen off his seat and is sitting at the floor, blinking, as if he didn't know what hit him. Did he fall asleep? He looks at us with a slight confusion, as if he didn't know what happened, and scrambles to his feet, a light touch of pink on his cheeks. "Sorry." Adam starts talking to Kenji, covering his hands to prevent laughter. Which doesn't work.

"Anyways," Castle says, ignoring the two. "it would be a pleasure to know what occurred to you the past days , and hopefully with the twins too, but maybe another time." He stands up. I do the same. "Do you remember your room? You will be staying there with the twins... Unless you want to change locations?"

I shake my head so fast that I feel like my head's going to fall off. "No," I mutter. "No. Please. Thank you." We all stand up and the soldier from a while ago escorts us to the doors. Kenji tells us he's going to do some things and leaves first, but I could see the look he gave me before he left. The doubt is obvious in his features.

Adam and I continue to walk in silence as we reach my—and Sonya and Sara's—room. People who were passing by the halls stopped and looked at us, at me, and smiled. Some called my attention and muttered a thank you as I passed them. Thank you for what, though? For saving four of their members or for starting this whole mess? Some of these people may not even realize that it wasn't for me—if only I didn't have this... this power—Omega Point would still be as peaceful as it was before.

But somehow I glad I did. I'm glad to have found a sort of home in Omega Point, to have made friends like Kenji and the others. And one thing I could never regret is meeting Aaron. Well, at first, when I first saw him as a power-obsessed dictator who wanted me as a weapon. But I understand now that he never wanted to do it; his father ordered him for that. He may not believe it but I know that underneath that cold and heartless exterior is a human who never wanted to hurt people, who wants to disobey the orders of his psychotic father.

When we reach the room, I thank Adam for escorting me and I walk to the door. My wrist stop me from walking further because Adam's holding it. "Wait."

I turn my to him and cock my head to the side. He flushes and lets go of my hand, albeit hesitantly, only to cup my cheeks. I want to lean in to the touch, to hold his hands and kiss them. But I'm frozen and I don't know what to do. His chest, his legs, his face is so close too close that I could feel his heat, the erratic beating of his heart against mine. My breaths have turned to pants; everything about him is so familiar.

His eyes move down to my lips and maybe he's wondering the same thing as I am. Maybe he's wondering if my lips still taste the same, if I still feel as if nothing mattered when he kissed me, if I still love him.

But one thing he isn't wondering now is that if I would push him away. I need to get away. I need to stop this but I can't—my feet are glued to the ground and my body is unmoving. Move, I yell to my body. Move move move—

The doors behind me swings open, Sonya and Sara on the other side of it. Adam sighs, exasperated, and kisses me on the cheek instead.

"See you, Juliette." He says, still slightly breathless, before turning on his heel and walking back to where we came from, clearly annoyed at Sonya and Sara.

"Juliette." They say in unison. I turn around.

Both are looking at me with so much relief and tenderness, smiling so widely that it seems like an unfamiliar gesture to me because all I've done was terrify these two. Sonya's hair has grown, which makes it easier to know who is who. I want to hug them and thank them. I want to say so many things but all I could say is "You're here."

The two nod in unison and gesture for me to enter the room. I sit on the edge of what used to be my bed as Sonya closed the door behind her, locking it.

Seeing both of them now felt surreal. Because I can see that they never really told anything to Castle. That they're here, actually here. They're here and healthy and alive.

"Why didn't you tell Castle?"

"It isn't our story to tell." The bed groaned a little as Sara sat beside me, far enough as not to touch me. Her voice had a soft tone when she spoke, as if she understood that there are some things that are never meant to be told to others.

"How did you—Aaron didn't—"

"He," Sonya says, acknowledging Aaron. "was the one who freed us. If it weren't for him we wouldn't be here. He is a great person."

My lips parted in surprise. I could hear the forgiveness in Sonya's voice, and if it wasn't what I thought it was, at least he was understood. My Aaron. He never realized that he has done so much already.

My bottom lip quivers. I could feel the tears wanting to escape my eyes, but I tell them no, don't cry. "If it weren't for you both—" I would be dead.

"If it weren't for him." The two corrected, but it was Sara who continued. "If it wasn't for Mr. Warner then we wouldn't be able to heal you. Castle never told us about anyone, or him, having that kind of power; at first we were hesitant." She looked down at her hands which were clasped together. "We thought that it was impossible. That he was lying... But then he broke down. He was begging. Desperate, hope, anger, hurt—there was so many emotions. He was holding you so carefully, like you were fragile. We couldn't deny him, then, so we took our chances and put faith in him."

"You saw him, didn't you? " Sonya asked.

I bit my lip, nodding, as the memory flashed in my head. The way his voice broke, how he held me as if I was glass. I could never forget it. "I was close to blacking out then when he asked—"

"Begged." The two said.

I wrap my arms around myself and continued. "—And the way he was close to tears—"

"He was crying."

No...

Time stopped the moment those three words were out. Or maybe it slowed. Because my body feels so numb that I can't feel my own heartbeat and my mind is spinning. Images of what happened suddenly filled my head, as if they were lost until Sonya mentioned them. The memory starts to recollect and I don't want to remember I want to forget again because the sight, the memory, is so painful that I could feel my heart crumbling into tiny crystals. I want to forget forget forget but it keeps coming back to me.

Warner cried

The boy who never shed any tears for the death of his solders, the boy who never showed himself to others, who calls himself a monstrous bastard, the boy who isn't any of those things— t-the boy I love cried. All because I was close to meeting death. All because of me.

"He was holding you like a baby while we transferred our power—it worked, thankfully—and he couldn't stop looking at you." I just nodded and nodded, not saying anything. I don't trust myself so I keep silent. " 'Don't die, love,' he kept whispering to you like those words would encourage you to wake again. 'Please, please, please. I will not lose you. Not now. Please.' ..." She trailed off and bowed her head.

"He set us free after we knew you were regaining your pulse. That was the only favor he could return." Sonya looked up at me. "We owe him so much. We owe you so much." Sara nudged me lightly in the arm, a box of tissues in her hand. I was crying, I realized. I smiled at her and wiped my eyes with my jacket instead.

"You don't owe him or me anything." I tell them after seconds of silence. My voice cracks. "It's the opposite."

Sara looked like she was about to protest, but her sister spoke first. "You stayed there, with him, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"You're happy with him?" Sara asked.

"—Y-yes..."

Then, both of them: "Do you love him?"

I'm looking at the floor but I could feel the smiles on their faces. "I love him."

"That is all we need to know." Sonya says fondly. "As long as he doesn't break your heart then we are indebted to him." I want to tell them that they're not indebted to anyone, not me, not Aaron. No one. But all I say is

"He will never break my heart. He isn't who you think he is. He can change."

The two looked surprise for a minute, as if they really couldn't believe that those words just came out of my mouth. Afterwards they leave me so I can change and rest, and also because they still have to do their jobs. But before they did, they told me 2 words. 2 simple words that made me believe that Aaron really was forgiven.

"We know."

I slept soundly that night. The thought of whether Aaron read my letter or not bothered me, but somehow I felt lighter. Confronting the twins made me realize that I'm not the only one who believes in Aaron; I'm not the only one who understands how much he went through, how much he lost and never gained. I wondered if who was there to care for him when his father tortured him. Who was there to love him when he loved no one, not even himself. Who trusted him when everyone despised him.

I want to know so many things about Aaron. I want to know his past, his life. What he went through and how many percent of him was actually the cold person he told himself to be.

The problem was how I was going to get out of here.

A/n: There's something extremely bad in this chapter that made me cry. Like, this isn't what it was supposed to end up and at the same time it was.

I might be posting once every two weeks instead because of school and sophomore and interaction with cute guys and ughh. I don't want to.

Oh, for those Allegiant fans: I was looking for some sort of excerpt in Allegiant. Instead I found this:

"Pride is what killed Al, and it is the flaw in every Dauntless heart. It is in mine."

It's so perf and emotional. (I was also searching for (Untitled) Me excerpts. Sadly, I found none. One excerpt is the boardroom table, I suppose. But what happens? Warner gets laid? Adam destroys table? Anderson has a meeting in a boardroom? IDK)