Oh and for your drabbles, Fern: Deeks and Kensi at the beach after the talk with Nate (thank you peter cambor xD) – requested by guesswhofern on Tumblr
"So…" she sits in silence next to him, glancing occasionally in his direction, trying not to show her concern that much.
"What?" he just asks, completely out of tune and confused.
"How..how have you been? Seeing as me calling didn't give me any information." Inwardly she curses herself that she lets him see that it hurt her, but then again, maybe he needs that right now.
"I've been fine." He shrugs and she certainly sees now how it does annoy him whenever she uses "fine", now after everything he's been through he can be anything but fine.
"So I've heard." She nods, hoping he would elaborate into something more, but following is just the usual silence that comes with him now.
"By who?" he immediately whips around to face her and the fierce, strong and almost angry look in his eyes scares her slightly and definitely causes a moment of speechlessness.
"By.. By Nate." She answers quietly.
"Confidently my ass." She hears him grumble under his breath while his hands ball to fists in the sand. She knows that she needs to make him understand that he misunderstood her answer, yet she can't help but drift of in thought of how much this incident had changed him.
"I talked with Nate." She starts after a while, noticing that his statue hasn't changed a bit. "I felt helpless that everyone had someone to go to, talk about it with their partner… and I was left out." She shrugs, trying strongly not to guilt trip this on him but she just can't hide the hurt. "He said he would talk to you but assured me you'd be just fine." The last bit coming out rather sarcastic and she hates herself for just realizing that Nate had very much played her with this line. Used her own weapon against her.
"Alright." He seemingly relaxes, so whatever had him tense, left.
"So are you trying to copy my behavior now?" She really couldn't help herself. Maybe she was a little delusional, but she needed normality in her life again, and this right here wasn't it.
"Why?" he asks in a quiet and confused manner.
"Short answers? Fine? Getting angry at whatever because I triggered it with Nate?" she enumerates. "You're quiet as hell, don't ramble and won't even look at me." She continues.
"I'm thinking. I need time to think."
"You had so much time." She lets out a forced laugh. "We all had so much time." She states quieter and shakes her head. "And you know what? I used that time to think too. I thought I would help my partner, that I would be there for him if he would let me. Then I thought, after my tries, that I shouldn't give up now. I thought he would think I am a failure if I give up now. So I keep trying and think positive. And now we're here and I think even with all this, I didn't try enough and failed anyways." She looks down and plays with the sand. "And I keep thinking that Hetty never should have switched partner. That I never should have gone after Michelle. I should have stayed with my partner. And most of all that I should never have let him go without knowing that he's damn important to me."
"Kensi.." he sighs.
"No I get it, it is what it is and we can't change the past. And I get that you don't want to talk and whatnot. So let's just be us. Enjoy this day and take one day at the time. Today we will watch the sunset and after that you and I go over at your place and eat some yummy yummy heart attack, watch a movie and leave the past be the past."
"Fine." He says and receives a bump with her shoulder against his. "I meant okay." And this time he finally looks at her, giving him a slight smile. The smile did not reach his eyes yet, but they would make it one day at the time and it would reach his eyes soon.
"What do you think makes out partnership unique?" he suddenly asks her, when they make their way back to his apartment.
"We do… us and our thing, that we do." She smiles and later that night when he falls asleep with her right next to him on the couch he finds his very own answer.
It's a love story.