I do not own any of the characters or affiliates and such they all belong to the people who own Supernatural. Also, I am Australian and relying solely on Google for any information about American towns and places and such, so if names or anything don't work or are wrong, sorry! Also on another note, I haven't ever over dosed on Morphine, and Google doesn't really tell you much about what happens if you survive so I am just guessing and going by what happens when you do OD. Medical lingo aint my thing!

6.

Dean didn't even know he was going to say it, and was shocked by the monotone and lack of emotion in his voice, he felt it sink in to his stomach and his chest, close over his heart and turn it to stone. He didn't want to live like this, not if he couldn't do what he was best at.

'Don't say that Dean.' Sam said, Dean jumped again when he felt his brother take his hand and squeeze it. He couldn't muster the effort to squeeze back; he was already giving up on life. 'Please Dean, don't do this. You can still live with out site, loads of people do it!'

'I don't care Sam; I'm not like, loads of people. You should understand that, I'm useless now.' Dean growled, pulling his hand from his brother's grip and clenching his hands in to fists.

'I'm going to go and see about finding you a bed in the ICU, and organise a few other things. I will leave you with your family, while you take in the news. Mr Singer could I speak with you outside for a minute?' Dean listened as the steps walked out the room and the door opened and closed. He was in his own room, he caught bustling noise before the door shut, and he was still in the ER.

'I'm so sorry Dean; I never would have walked out on you if I knew this was going to happen. Please, please don't give up though. I don't know what I would do without you, I'd have nobody else.'

'You'd have Bobby.' Dean muttered, not really listening. He wasn't in the mood to take in Sam's self pity crap right now. 'I just want to be alone right now Sam, I'm tired.' Dean hoped he was turning his head away from Sam, hating every moment of not being able to see. It was driving him insane already and he had only been awake for less then fifteen minutes.

'I'm not leaving you like this, not in a million years.' Sam declared, unwrapping Dean's hands from their clenched fists and twining his fingers in with Dean's, he felt his brother squeeze his hand tightly but he didn't return the effort. 'I know this is going to be hard for you, but we can make this work. We can move in with Bobby, and you will get to know your surroundings and settle in, and then it will be much easier from there.'

'And hunting Sam? What do you expect I do about that huh? Just sit back and retire like some one legged retiree in the war? Throw up my guns and sit back while you and Bobby go and out do your thing without me?' Dean growled, trying to wrench his hand free from Sam but not succeeding. His brother's grip was firm and determined.

'Don't Dean; don't turn this in to some macho shit like dad would. You're better then him okay? You can work something out I'm sure, you wont have to be completely out of the hunt, you aren't fully handicapped by this!'

'How Sam? How am I not "fully handicapped" by this? Please explain that to me, because I can't see myself feeling my way into some house to shoot something I can't see, with a gun I won't even be able to reload. So please, enlighten me smart ass, tell me how to do my job with no eyes?' Dean succeeded in pulling his hand free this time, wincing when the straps pinched into his skin tightly.

'If you aren't going to bother with life then why should I then? Should I just kill us both rights here? Because I honestly don't see myself lasting too long without you Dean, I need my big brother no matter what shape he's in.' Dean listened as Sam's heavy footsteps marched around the room, stop, fiddle around with something, chucking things around before stopping.

'Here we go,' he muttered to himself, footsteps resting by the bed again 'this should do the job don't you think Dean? Morphine, and a nice decent sized vial of it too. There's plenty of vials here too, enough to finish us both off.' Dean couldn't tell what his brother was doing then; he felt something being tugged around his wrist, a sharp needle move around his elbow. 'Just say the word Dean; I will end this for the both of us.'

Unable to say anything, Dean waited for the rush of the drugs.

'Oh what, you have nothing to say now?' Dean could hear the temper rise in Sam's voice, the hysteria and pain. 'Maybe I should dose me first; I should have enough time for you before it kicks in right? I mean, I don't really know much about this, but lets see.' Dean felt the syringe leave his arm with a prick.

'Sammy!' Dean growled but his brother didn't reply, all he could hear was too fast breathing and crying. 'Sammy. Somebody help!' Dean raised his voice as high as he could manage, when his brother stayed quiet and nobody came, he wiggled the heart monitor from his finger and hoped his flat line would call people in.

'Your turn Dean, not too long till you get what you wanted now.' Sam's voice was shallow and weak, words starting to slur. Dean began to panic. What had he done, he kept calling for help as the sting of the needle hit his arm again.

Like a cool rush of water the drugs hit Dean's system like a truck as the door slammed open, voices started shouting as he felt the needle hang from his arm and heard his brother hit the ground. 'Sammy!' He gasped; this wasn't what was supposed to happen. He should be the one dead, not Sammy or his father, everyone died for him and he couldn't stand it. He just wanted to die so nobody else could suffer, he wouldn't let his little brother die for him. 'Sammy!'

Xxx

Opening his eyes groggily, Sam looked around the room. It was small and bare, no windows and just a door. Sitting up with a heavy head and cotton mouth, he licked his cracked lips with a thick tongue. The only furniture in the room was the bed he sat on and a toilet and basin, bolted to the ground. The door had a large window in it, and small ledge with a little door in front of it.

That's when he remembered what had happened, what he had done. He was on suicide watch. Sam sank his head in to his hands and started to cry. He had tried to kill himself and his own brother, the man he idolised above anything else in this world. Bobby was going to rip him a new one for trying something as stupid as this, but he was desperate and wanted to knock Dean back to reality and wake him up. Make him realise he didn't want to die, not really.

Standing up, his legs felt like lead, there was an IV taped to one of his arms. God he felt like shit, his head may have been filled with nuts and bolts, jangling around making his head ache. Walking over to the door and leaning on his IV he looked out the window and tried to get someone's attention. He needed to go and see his brother, be by his side and make sure he was okay. A nurse caught his attention and stopped.

When she opened the door, he recognised her from Dean's room. She gave him a disapproving look and checked his IV fluids and listened to his chest with her stethoscope and taking his pulse. 'What were you thinking Sam?' She asked softly.

'I wasn't... my brother scared me, said he wanted to die.' He replied plainly, stupidly.

'So you thought you would kill him and yourself at the same time? What would you have done if he died and you survived? Or the other way around?' The nurse was firm with him, brisk. Like a mother would be, Sam was great full to her for not treating him like a child. He deserved to be punished right now. 'How are you feeling anyway? We forced as much as we could out of your system, but we will have to regular tests, make sure nothing has been damaged internally.'

'I feel like a truck ran me down several times, all tyres.' Sam moaned, leaning heavily on the IV stand. 'I deserve it though, I was so stupid!'

'Don't beat yourself up too much.' The nurse paused. 'Maybe a little for being such an idiot, but trust me. This is not the first time this has happened here. Or any hospital for that matter. Family members attempt this more then you would imagine I'm afraid.' Sam shared a sad smile with the news, but it didn't do anything to make him feel any better.

He felt rotten inside and out, Dean probably hated him and didn't want to see him ever again now. Sam wouldn't blame his older brother if he did feel that way; he deserved that and so much worse.

'How is Dean? And my dad?' Asked Sam, the pretty nurse looked up at him as she counted his pulse once more.

'Your pulse is a little weak still, how about I get you a wheel chair and supervise you for a bit? I can take you to see your brother, how does that sound?' Sam nodded eagerly. The nurse smiled and left he room, locking the door behind her.

Looking around himself, Sam made his slow way back to the bed. Who'd have thought killing yourself would hurt this much both physically and mentally. Sam noticed how short the IV line was, and smirked. Probably a precautionary tactic so patients wouldn't hang themselves.

Soon after the nurse returned, Dean's doctor in tow. He looked a little glum and put out. 'How are we feeling?' He was nowhere near as nice as the nurse was. He was more gruff and impolite.

'Like shit.' Sam replied.

'Mia tells me your pulse is still a little slow, any trouble breathing? Is it laboured at all? Stomach pains?'

'Breaths a little shaky, stomachs cramping a little but that's it.'

'Push some more Naloxone. It might not be completely out of his system. Mia tells me you want to see your brother?' Sam nodded quickly. 'Can we be assured you are not going to try something like this again?' Sam nodded again.

'Of course, this was a major mistake. I was thinking straight when it happened. I swear on my mother's grave I would never try this again. I swear. Please can I see my brother?' Sam wasn't afraid of resorting to begging the doctor; he didn't care what he had to do.

'So you understand the full impact of your actions then?' Sam nodded again, wondering where this was going. 'And know that you will have to undergo a complete Psychiatric Review in result of these happenings, and agree to follow instructions of the questioning psychiatric doctor?' Sam nodded slowly.

'Will my brother undergo one as well?' He asked, hoping the doctor would say yes, as it was Dean who initially wanted to die and give up on life. Not him.

'I was discussing that with your father when we left the room, but yes I believe in your brothers position this would be required. In most cases like these it is required, in case the patient takes their lives once they are released from the hospitals care.'

'That's good, because he has me so worried. Ever since someone close to us died he hasn't been the same. I worried this is what he would turn to when he found out what had happened.' Doctor Marc nodded and called Mia in again with the chair, Sam hadn't even noticed she had left. She injected something in to his drip before transferring it to the wheel chair and helping him sit down.

'I will walk with you.' The doctor announced, following them towards the elevators. 'We had your brother moved to ICU five hours ago, once we stabilised him enough.'

'Five hours? How long was I out for?' Sam asked, perplexed.

'Oh around eight hours or so.' The doctor said casually. 'Not uncommon in a Morphine overdose. We are still waiting for your brother to remain consciousness again. So don't be alarmed if he doesn't respond. Obviously, he had a substantial amount of Morphine in his system before you dosed him. It hit him harder and faster.' Sam nodded, looking guilty. He let his head hang heavily on his chest as they rode the elevator in silence.

When they reached the ICU Sam noticed Bobby's frame standing by Dean's bed immediately. Their surrogate fathers eyes were ringed red from crying, and his skin was pale and washed out, Sam could have sworn there were new wrinkles on the older mans face, and heavy bags from no sleep beneath his eyes.

'Oh Sammy.' Bobby stepped forward, and Sam tensed up ready to be hit or yelled at or anything, not ready though, for the bear hug Bobby wrapped him in, encasing his large frame in both his arms and squeezing him tight.

'I'm so sorry Bobby!' He whispered into the mans ear as he let tears roll down his cheeks quickly, sobbing hard into the mans chest. He hadn't let himself go like this in a little while. He just let himself cry. He didn't know how long for, but when he looked up they were alone with Dean again.

'What were you thinking son?'

'I wasn't thinking Bobby. That much is clear, he, he just said all that horrible stuff and I kinda just went numb and started moving on automatic. God I don't even know how much I juiced us with Bobby, I feel like shit.' Sam wiped his eyes hard with his top.

'Well, there were three vials on the floor and one half empty in your hand kid, so you did a good job. Anywhere else and the two of you might not even be here right now. You might just have succeeded.' Bobby wiped a tired hand over his face, lifted his cap and dragged back over his hair and let a long, sad sigh before yawning.

'Why don't you try and get some sleep? I'm here now, I can look after Dean.' The old man sank into the large chair behind him and nodded, Sam watched as he fell asleep slowly. His eyes kept opening and closing, moving between the two of them protectively before they finally stayed shut.