SORRY ITS BEEN A WHILE. BEEN PLANNING OUT THE BIG FINAL! MORE TWISTS COMING! WE WILL DISCOVER THE MYSTERY OF THE MUSTACHE?
Blud was eating Kanye Wset because it had been ages since the last chap and he was dead hungry and blood bananas are a good snack but he was too hungry so he ate Kanye and blood went everywhere and Blud licked it (I WAS GOING TO MAKE A TOAST JOKE BUT I ALREADY MADE ONE! SO INSTEAD KANYE MADE BLUD DEAD FAT AND HE HAD TO USE KANYES WORKOUT PLAN TO LOSE WAIT AGAIN).
"Are you done?" sneered Dark making his mouth all twisted and sarcastick. "Or does the little baby want his food on an airplane with a bib?"
HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE FINE OFFICE OF THE KING OF THE SHINIGAMI roared blud spitting out some bones and some feathers cos he ate the runaway bird chick too. I WILL TEAR YOUR NOSE OUT AND TURN IT INTO A VASE FOR THE MANY SPIKY FLOWERS THAT I PURCHASE TO ROMANCE YOUR MEGACHESTASTACULAR WIFE AND YOU WILL SNEEZE FOREVER COS OF THE POLLEN.
Secretly Dark was dead hungry too since he hadn't eaten anything either! But luckily because Samanther had the giantest chests in the world she also had all the milk in the world to and Dark could drink it when he got thirsty and this made blud EVEN MADDER because Dark got to touch her bouncy lumps (AN I KNOW THIS SOUNDS GROSS AND MADE UP BUT ITS NOT. THAT'S HOW CHESTS WORK! WE LEARNED IT BIOLOGY CLASS! I KNOW ITS COOL!). It had been so long that he was starting to grow a messy mustache.
ALRIGHT. ENOUGH EATING. LET US COMBAT VIOLENTLY ONCE AGAIN FOR THE UNIVERSE!
Blud pulled his arm bones out. HE had sharpened them specially for the occasion and painted them gold and stuck handles and skulls and written naughty words like "F-CK" and "F-CKER" and "F-CKING" on them for stronger because they were SWEARSWORDS.
He put his swearsword over his head and stabbed it down into Darks head but missed and hit his foot instead. OH BALLS yelled blud hopping over the ring holding his foot and yipping like Misa getting a really good sexing and everyone laughed cos this was funny.
Now it was Dark's turn. While blud was hopping like mad dark got Samanther to make him a special milkshake by shaking her milky bits. This was the hottest thing that had ever happened in the world of the shinigami and the men shinigami all died of sexiness. The women all became lesbians and died too! Luckily they were in the land of the sinigami so they came back but dead and then died again and again and again but they couldn't stop looking.
She said a spell as she wobbled her bumps so it came out gold and glowing and Dark drank it and it made him go like super sayan except not cos this isn't dragonballz. It was like that though cos he went blonde and could fly like superman.
Dark shouted real loud and a fireball came out of his mouth! Then he sneezed and two more came out of his nose and they all hit blud and set his mowhawk on fire.
OH DOOSH yelled blud dipping his head in a tub of water. Now he was bald and everyone laughed EVEN LOUDER when they weren't dying (IMAGINE IT! ITS PRETTY FUNNY) In revenge he pulled his leg bones which were actually cannons and eachone had the stinger of a bee the size of a towtruck in it. He fired and the stingers hit dark in each arm and nailed him nailed to the wall.
The poison made his arms all stingy and stinky but luckily he was strong enough to gargle all the poison out and spit it at Blud. It missed but went passed him and hit the blood banana orchard!
NO NOT MY AGRICULTURTAL TREASURELAND THAT WAS ONCE THE GLOSSY HOME OF THE HUMBLE BLOOD BANANA blud yelled as poison got all over them and turned them into poison bananas made of poison. I CANNOT EAT MY BELOVED TREASURES NOW THEY HAVE BEEN BEFUDDLED WITH STINGY POISON
"Serves you right you pr-ck!" Samanther yelled and this distracted blud and made him look. Suddenly he saw her bouncers bouncing and he was distracted! He got out his wings and flew to Samanther.
HELLO LADY Blud said leeching at her and holding a rose made of blood (it was a messy rose and blood went everywhere but it's the fort that counts!) I SAY THAT IS ONE NICE MILK OSSCILATE THOU HAVE GOING ON THERE
"Yeah well you know what they say!" Samanther punched blud in the eyes with both hands and sent him burning like a fireball back into the arena. "MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE SHINGAMI TO THE ARENA."
NOOOOOOOO roared blud as he landed with a bump. Samanther jumped down and landed on him and the weight of her chest made it feel like getting stomped by a freight train.
"ALSO MY FIGHTING IS BETTER THAN YOURS! DAM RIGHT ITS BETTER THAN YOURS"
"Could you teach me?" said dark but only as a joke cos he knew all her moves cos he taught them all to her on the long hot nights of hard battle training on the battlefield.
"BUT ID HAVE TO CHARGE" (LOOK UP KELIS IF YOU DON'T GET IT BUT IT'S A SONG ABOUT WARMING UP MILKSHAKE AND USING IT TO FILL YOUR YARD WITH BOYS SO THEY'LL TEACH PEEPS HOW TO MAKE MILKSHAKE FOR MONEY I GUESS?)
"Ok lets just kick him instead"
They both started kicking blud and he was rolling around in the dust getting all dusty and yelling "ow!" when they hit him in the man bits which happened quite a lot since he used to his shinigami powers to give him hundreds of them all over his body which was good for sexing the many shinigami queens but not so good for not getting punched!
"Ha! Not so strong now are you!" said samanther and booted him in the mouth and made his vampire fangs fall out.
OW! I NEEDED THOSE BITERS TO DEVOURE THE BLOOD OF THE LIVING VERGINGS. NOW I WILL HAVE TO BE A VEGETARIAN EXCEPT YOU KILLED ALL THE BLOOD ABANAS TOO! FOR THIS THERE IS NO COMPENSATION!
Blud slumbered to his feet and pulled out his ribs. They were all wolverine claws and he put them on his hands and began slashing like mad everywhere (GET IT? BLUD DOES SLASH!) One hit slashed Dark in the eyes and made him a bit short sighted so he had to wear glasses.
Dark got out his royal death note and wrote blud in it just in case but it cant kill shinigamis. Then he tried to trick blud into killing another dude to save his life like happened with the chickly one of misa who death noted L and died but that dint work since THERE WAS NOONE LEFT TO KILL.
Blud got the upper hand LITERALLY! cos he took off his hand it was a hand grenade! (GET IT!)
LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND! Blud roared and handed the hand to Dark. It exploded and the hand slapped him and flew back to Blud. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?
"I did not like it" said Dark truthfully rubbing the slapped bit.
WELL THERES PlENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM roared blud but that wasn't really true cos there was only one hand left…
He used the other hand on Samanther and cos she felt sorry for it she let it touch her chest bits and lady bits and got happy.
"Oh! Blud! That is the best feeling I have ever had!" screamed Samanther as the hand danced over her like a mad dancer made of blood having sex with the dancefloor which was her body in this case. Dont forget that Samanther was a verging and she dint know what sexing felt like! Dark got all jealous! Blud who was just a pathetic king of all shinigami was unflowering HIS OWN WIFE!
Dark was so angry that he used his FINAL ATTACK and KOed Blud RIGHT IN THE BRAIN.
Blud died and fell on the floor screaming.
MY… BRAVE… YOUNG… APPRENTIC. Blud gasped. COME CLOSS… TO…. MEEEEE…. SO THAT I CAN… TELL… YOU… THE SECRETS OF MY PEOPLE
"Anything for you my wise master who alas became evil when we should have been best of friends and ruled this universe as one!" cried dark getting on his knees and not noticing the evil grin splattered all over bluds mouth.
COME…. CLOSER…. MY CHILD.
"of course!"
MIND MEMORY NOTHING SPELL OF THE FORGETTING MAGIC! Whispered Blud which were the magic brain rubbing words! Anyone who heard them got there brain all rubbed out and forgot who they were.
"NO!" yelled Dark! "I have been tricked! I am forgetting things! In just one hour I will have forgotten everything! I MUST KILL BLUD BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!"
"AND I MUST HELP!" shouted Samanther!
AND I MUST NOT DIE SO I CAN SEX WITH SAMANTHER AND SAMPLE HER LUCIUS OFFERINGS. Said blud.
EPIC CONCLUSION! NEXT TIME! WILL BE THE LAST DARK YAGAMI EVER! Except there will be one more after but that's an epilog which is a thing that doesn't really count and no one bothers reading them BUT READ THIS ONE COS IT WILL BE EPIC. THERE WILL BE A TWIST DON'T FORGET!