Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or anything to do with it, however the OC's are all my own. The concept of Jasper being the 'God of War' is something that I've read in a few fics, but I don't know where it originates, so I'm sorry for not giving credit where credit's due! Plus, I have no idea what Louisiana, or Wisconsin are like - I'm from England, so please, forgive any mistakes. Have a great day, and I love you guys!
Jasper POV
October 2020
Madison, Wisconsin
I was sure she was gonna kill me.
Slowly.
Painfully.
Deliciously.
It wasn't fair.
She shouldn't be this gorgeous.
It hurt.
I was sure, for a moment, that she was a vampire; I mean, the ethereal beauty that resonated from her very core shocked me, and the sensation of her lips against my own was both erotic and physically trying, however the pounding of her heart in her ample, supple chest, and the scent of her blood pulsating through her veins told me that it was impossible for her to be one of my kind.
I surprised myself in the knowledge that I didn't want her blood. I wanted her body, her mind, her heart, her soul; I wanted everything she was willing to give me. Even if she would kiss me, and throw me to the roadside, I would be happy, because at least for those precious few moments, she was in my arms, with my mouth on hers, my name on her lips, and my scent in her mind. Honestly, I wanted nothing more to throw her down and fuck her into oblivion, but there was a tentativeness that emitted from her that I couldn't find it in myself to upset her in the slightest. She was so warm; her heat soaking through my skin and shimmying through my system. I almost felt drunk. If a vampire could be drunk, that is.
My skin was prickling, my senses numbed and yet heightened at the same time - it was fucking bothersome, and yet I didn't want her to stop. My vision was blurred at the edges, I was swarmed in a euphoric sense of ecstasy and I never wanted to leave.
I couldn't let her go.
Even when she was on the phone to her brother, I was still touching some part of her body, and the electricity that jumped from her body to my own was sizzling. When she stepped away from me, I thought my heart would sink to the bottom of my chest, and I wanted to be sick. I knew she wasn't goin' anywhere - I still had eyes on her, she was right in front of me, and yet I felt like she was rejecting me. And then that fucking Danny kid poked his nose into our business, and it took everything in me, an' I mean everything that I've learnt in the last 66 years of being a vegetarian-vampire, to not blitz over there and crush her phone between my fingers, jus' to get him to stop fucking speaking.. When he asked if we were together, and she replied, "I don't know," I found then that I wanted to do nothing but scream down the phone line, and make sure he knew that she was mine.
They had plans, apparently, on Monday, and that thought pissed me off beyond belief.
Why did she need him?
I was here, wasn't I?
He couldn't compare to me. He was a fucking human; he was too normal for her.
She was perfect, and I wanted her for myself.
Fine.
I was a jealous, aggressive, obsessive asshole, but I would take care of her. There was no way that I would have let her get so fucked up on a night like this, and then leave her alone. She had been high, and if Peter hadn't helped her out, I was loathed to think about what could have happened to her.
I was sure Peter and Char thought I was stupid, you know. Of course I knew who she was to me. It was fucking obvious that she was my mate, but I hadn't wanted to accept that fact. If I did, I would be putting her in everlasting danger, and it wasn't worth it. As soon as I had seen her wit' Danny tonight, I knew she was everything I wanted. Having her be around someone else made my stomach turn, uncomfortably.
She was perfection, and I wanted her.
I needed her.
I craved her.
I loathed to have to share her. With anyone.
Alice. Peter. Charlotte. Bella. Emmett. Hell, even her brother, Clyde; they would have to all take a back seat.
She was mine.
The only way to stop myself from reacting was to recline on my bed, my hands locked together behind my head and my eyes closed, focused on slowing down the raging thoughts that shot through my mind at a frantic pace.
"Sorry about that," she said, so adorably, that I almost jumped her bones again. She was too cute for her own good; her eyes sultry and wide. They had been a little bloodshot earlier tonight, but now, the glassiness had disappeared from her gorgeous eyes. It was only a blunt, but still.. I didn't like it at all. But I guess I couldn't judge her for it. I've been in that kind of situation before - depending on something that was bad for me, and I would fucking hate for her to fall down that rabbit hole, because there's practically no way out. I didn't want her to go through anything like that.
The sensation of her lips on mine brought out an animalistic need that I hadn't felt since the Vampire Wars.. And it wasn't ever this sexual. I liked fighting. That's the be-all an' end-all of it all. I was born to be a fucking soldier, and I would always be the one in the middle of a battle. I basked in the scent of bloodshed and I danced to the sounds of my screaming enemies.
I did that.
I've broken the necks of countless numbers of children while their mothers watched on, anguish-filled and emotionally distraught. All because Maria told me to. I lived for the battle, and she knew how to exploit that from me. This was the same kind of feeling, 'cept it wasn't anger that drove it. It was all warm and soft against my insides, and it made me more uncomfortable than the fighting ever did. The disappointment that I knew she would feel if she ever found out about my past cinched around my heart, and squeezed. When I was the Major, I could separate my emotions into black an' white, good an' bad, right an' wrong, but this.. This wasn't the same as the rest of it. I wanted her. I wanted to be good for her.
She radiated a aptness that I couldn't duplicate, and I wanted her to be good enough for her. I wanted her to be proud to be wit' me. To be seen wit' me. To stand tall by my side, hand in hand, an' feel like she was with someone who actually deserved her time and effort. We ended up making out for a very long time, latching onto one another as if she were my tether to this world that I never wanted to let go.
I knew that my scars were ugly; to us Vampires, anyway. She couldn't see the intricacies of my scarring, and I hoped she never would, because they were horrific. Scattered all over my arms, my chest, my back.. Hell, even my thighs, when Maria was feeling particularly bitchy, and they would always be there. I couldn't ever rid myself of them, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't show my bare self to another - I hadn't since I left Maria's camp, an' I don't think I… Ever could. I felt disgusting inside, and it effected my every day life.
"You two had sex tonight, though, right?"
"What am I supposed to do?"
"What about me?"
"Its obvious."
Was she trying to tear my heart out with her petite, perfect hands? Like, could she not see how much she was affecting me? Couldn't she just see how hard it was to stay seated, an' not smother her in kisses? I didn't want Irina. I didn't want anyone but her, an' the sadness that I could see in her eyes burnt my insides, and I wanted to quell her unhappiness. I didn't like it. An' I felt like even more of a douche-bag seeing as how its my fault she felt so bad. I couldn't help but touch her, and I felt a quiver shoot through my spinal cord, setting my nerves on fire. I was as honest as I could be wit' her, without revealing too much about my kind an' my family, by default, which made me feel sick. I found that the bitter, poisonous taste of my toxic lies settle heavily on my tongue, and it made me feel like even more of an asshole.
Awesome.
Eventually, we talked it out, and as a human, I knew that she was going to have to sleep at some point - especially considering Ali and Rose had ushered everyone out of our house, and both were now too busy sucking face wit' their boyfriends, lust permeating the atmosphere and absorbed into my body, setting me completely on edge. She left for a moment, going to get some bags or something from her brother's car, and I took this time to languish in her scent, running my hands through my hair, over an' over again, to the point where it was almost fucking painful, trying to dispel my less than innocent thoughts 'bout my mate.
I would do anything for her, just to see her imperfectly perfect smile. She was adorable; her dimples so deep, her hair curly to all imaginable fuck, her eyes bright and unyielding.. She was beautiful in every imaginable way. Shamefacedly, I came to terms with my reality; I wasn't as strong of a man as Edward.. I couldn't leave her behind. It would tear me apart inside. The very thought of her being alone made my skin crawl. Even without realising what I was doing, I was listening to her dainty footsteps as they padded down the three flights of stairs, and outside. I closed my eyes and focused on the sound of her steadying heartbeat. The sound of her heels against the pavement, and then the gravely floor was a soundtrack that I would never forget, the scent of her hair still caressing my cheeks while I lay on my back in my bedroom.
Sighing, loudly, I growled, "Fuckin' great."
Esme tsked, lowly, in her bedroom, and commented, absentmindedly, "Language, Jasper."
We didn't have to be in the same room, or even the same floor, to hear one another. The soundproofing didn't do much to stop us from being able to hear each other, but it helped numb the erotic sounds emitting from the bedrooms, especially during the throes of passion that my siblings and parents enjoyed partaking in. There wasn't much that we vampires could do that would hold our attention, besides hunt or fuck during the night.
"Sorry, Esme," I apologised, half-heartedly, and she chuckled, and I 'felt' her amusement, with undercurrents of pride and happiness - she was happy for me. It took a second, but.. Upon hearing her walk back into the house, and far-too-slowly make her way back upstairs.. And stop on the second floor, I hopped off of my bed, and swept out of my room. Well, I would have, had I not caught sight of my reflection.
I was smiling. Actually smiling. I felt warm inside, like if I were human, my cheeks would be hurting like a bitch tomorrow, and blushing just like Bella used to. Oh, how fucking embarrassing!
-0-
"C'mere, Jasper," she sighed, and I felt my body gravitate towards her - jus' to hold her in my arms, cuddling and the odd kiss pressed the base of her neck. She had just shuffled out of the shower, and her skin smelt like my soap and her natural scent - the warm honey, lavender and jasmine - soaked through my covers, and rubbed itself against my skin, sinfully, making me grasp the sheets below me tightly in my hands. I had long changed clothes, my outfit having gotten covered with alcohol after an encounter wit' a fucking asshole junior, and had pulled on a long sleeved tee and a pair of sweats. If I were alone, and I wanted to pretend to be human, I would lie down naked, but I guess to humans that would be considered weird or some shit.
As she slept, she liked to shuffle. And it was adorable. She twisted and turned, her nose twitching and all sorts, her body morphing and contorting so she could get comfy, and once she found she couldn't, she huffed, distressed. An endearing frown marring her soft features, and her eyes rolled behind her lids, as she dreamed the night away. To make sure she wasn't uncomfortable because I was here, I slipped a hand beneath her waistline, and tugged her, so her face was resting in my shoulder, her hands flat against my torso, and her leg pitched around my waist - her movements, not mine - and she eventually stopped fussing. I placed my hands on her hips, holding her in place, and nuzzling closer to her pulse point.
"Jasper."
My brows furrowed, and I froze, wondering if I was hearing things again, however when she sighed, happily, and repeated the word, having it roll off of her tongue in the most sensual of ways, an' I felt my groin tighten in response. Not today. Not right now. I couldn't do this here of all places. Reaching down, slightly, I adjusted my annoying, throbbing length in my sweats, and tried to lie in a way that I wouldn't practically molesting her in her fucking sleep.
"My God," I sighed into my pillow, "I'm goin' ta Hell in a picnic basket."
I've let you guys go for a long time - my exams are coming up and I'm really focusing on it now. So, I doubt you'll get another chapter until the end of May. I AM THE DEVIL, I KNOW, BUT I HAVE GROWN UP RESPONSIBILITIES - I'M REALLY SORRY!