16.

AN;

So now you know what happened between Ellen and Bobby. I love the relationship that Bobby had with the boys and I thought I would use that to fuel the argument. And even though I think Dean and Jo would have been amazing together, I didn't go with it this time as I have another romance set up down the track for Dean and sadly they aren't it. So I thought I would make her pathetic and sooky, and Dean hard and embarrassed. Oh and awesome little brother Sammy was in there too!

Might add a little Dean hurt in to this chapter, just because he hasn't had any in a little while. So watch out, might even chuck some guilty Sam in there.

Even though he had promised Dean he would go, Sam hadn't answered the phone calls from the hospital. The thought of speaking to a bunch of strangers about his brother just didn't come across as appealing to him. And what could he say anyway?

'Hi my brother is a hunter and gets hurt all the time, but this time it was bad and that's all my fault because I wasn't there to back him up and now his blind and has a chunk missing out of his leg from the fall when he was attacked that got infected. Feel pity for me please?' No, he couldn't bring himself to go to group sessions, or see someone singularly. Because no matter he couldn't discuss it the way he wanted to, the way he needed to.

So instead Sam went on long walks at the back of Bobby's property, or through the many piles of cars in the yard and talked to himself out loud or in his head. It seemed he was the only one who could give himself the answers he would need, because only he knew them.

Today was no different. Dean was passed out on the sofa, still no match for the pain medication he only took when his leg was bad. Alcohol was no match for Dean; he could throw it down like soda without missing a step. But pain medication knocked him down for the count.

Stopping at a large tier of cars, Sam sank down to the ground and lent up against one of the buckled cars and looked up at the many more towering above him, sighing loudly as he pulled a hand down his face and rubbed his eyes, yawning. He was so tired.

Dean had been pushing himself more and more lately at therapy, trying harder then ever to conquer the stairs so he could move back in to the bedroom with Sam. But that had resulted in keeping him up late at night when he would wake up crying out in pain, waking Sam with him. Dean wouldn't let him help though, sending him back to bed to lie awake listening to his brothers heavy breathing and soft moans of pain from downstairs.

No matter what he did Sam couldn't help but think that this all could have been avoided if he had just sucked it up and stayed with Dean, gone with him on this hunt and backed him up. Been there for him. Like he was always supposed to be, backing him up. Dean shouldn't have been there alone. He kept repeating that over and over in his head, seeing Dean sprawled at the bottom of the stairs, the way his eyes had looked with the slashes and the angle of his leg. The mumbled words of his delirium in the hospital after the infections had started.

Sam hadn't been able to tell Dean he had been talking in his delirium from the fevers, often when he had been sleeping Dean would call out for their mother, or whimper their dads name and beg him not to make the deal, not to waste his life for Dean's because he was a let down. That Dean wouldn't be able to look after Sam the way their father could. And to please stop fighting with him.

It had broken Sam, to sit there and hold Dean's hand through the mutterings. It was breaking him to lay there at night now and hear his brother moan in pain, and have to struggle with something as simple as a few steps and learning how to read again, with brail.

Letting his head fall in to his hands, Sam let the sobs wrack through his body, letting it all out the best he could before going back to Dean. Everything had been so much harder since losing their father, but Sam had hoped things were getting better, now they were set back and alone. Even Bobby seemed to have fled from them, not that he could blame them.

Sam found himself wishing he could just drive away for a few days, take a break. But that just left him feeling guiltier then before, forced more tears from his puffy red eyes.

'I'm so sorry Dean…' Sam mumbled before he felt his eyes slide shut and his body relax against the cars and he fell asleep, exhausted.

Running as fast as he could, Dean stumbled over something and looked down in shock. Beneath him was the lifeless body of his father, eyes milky white and staring up at him in betrayal and agony before pale blue lips started trying to form words. Terrified Dean bent down and started apologising to his father.

'You wasted my life Dean. I traded my breath for yours, a fathers beating heart stopped to keep his sons going and now it's going to waste. How could you be so weak, abandon your brother like this, make him look after you like some invalid.' John's voice was cold and empty, accusing, the way his empty white eyes were boring in to Dean's with resentment.

'I'm sorry dad, please.' Dean begged his father to forgive him but it was too late, the body had caught fire and the flesh was melting away in bubbling chunks that fell from muscle and then bone.

Turning away Dean heard someone scream in the distance and started to run towards the screaming, when something warm dripped on to his shoulder. Looking up he almost regretted it, the pale, angelic face of his mother's was looking down at hi, face framed perfectly by blonde locks that hung from her head. 'Mummy…' Dean whispered, reaching out a hand in desperation, wishing he could pull her down as more blood dripped on him from her abdomen.

Mary kept screaming as slowly the same fire that took his father started to engulf her, burning away her flesh so it fell and made sickening sounds as it hit the darkened floor. Sweat from the flames was running down Dean's body as he ran away from the horrible screams.

This wasn't his fault; he didn't do all of this. He hadn't killed his mother, the Yellow Eyed Demon had. The same way it had taken his father's life, though he felt responsible for that. Ahead of him, he felt relief when he saw Sam. But that was short lived when he called out his brother's name, and he turned to him, carrying the rotted and burnt corpse of his girlfriend Jessica.

'You bought me back in to all this Dean, daddy was missing again and you couldn't stand to be alone. So you dragged your little brother in to this shit hole life of back road motels and death. You took everything that meant something from me, my career, my love and my home. The first home sine mummy died.' Sam said coldly, looking down at Jessica's corpse.

'Now I have to look after you because you got in to more mess, went in over your head, like always and wasted the life our father gave you. Now your blind and can't even walk a few steps let alone dress yourself right. I have to do everything.'

Swallowing, Dean approached Sam, telling himself this wasn't true. He wasn't really saying these things, and even if he was he couldn't mean them. Sammy loved him, he was Dean's little brother, he had to love him. Sam was too nice to say these horrible things to him, no matter the truth behind them.

'Wake up and face the music Dean.'

Waking with a jolt Dean struggled to pull in breaths, panic clenching his chest in a death grasp around his lungs and heart. He didn't think his heart was ever going to stop beating so fast as he struggled to sit up, clutching around in the darkness, trying to find something, anything solid he could use to pull him back to reality as he struggled to breath.

When nothing seemed to be within his reach, Dean managed to stand on shaky legs, feeling the world spin around him from the lack of air he was pulling in to his oxygen starved lungs. Staggering, Dean limped towards the chair his brother had told him he would be in while they watched television, Dean tried to call out to him but his vocals wouldn't work around the strangelling panic.

Walking in to the heavy chair, Dean realised with more panic it was empty. Trying to call out, he felt tears slip down his cheeks as he headed towards the kitchen, unsure of where he was going when the phone started to ring. Heading towards the room, he ignored the jolts of pain as he walked in to numerous hard, unwelcoming objects. Hitting the wall, he groped for the phone, knocking it off the dial before sliding down the wall, gasping for help as he let the enveloping darkness take him in.

'Sam? Dean?' Bobby called over the phone line, greeted by nothing but a thump and weak cries for help.

Jumping at the harsh sound of his ringtone, Sam blinked in the harsh light of the late summer evening, the chill starting to crawl in to the air with the coming autumn. Fumbling for his phone he looked at the caller ID before answering.

'Bobby?'

'Where's Dean is everything okay?'

'Yeah why?' Sam asked, clearly confused at the panic in Bobby's voice.

'I just called the house and got nothing but clatter a thump and some weak cries from help, sounded like Dean so I thought it best to call you and make sure everything was okay since you didn't answer the house phone.'

'What? I thought he was asleep, I'm out in the yard. I will call you back.' Sam didn't wait for a reply as he set off at a fast run, grateful for his long legs then as they helped him cover so much space in a short time that Dean would have been jealous if they were racing each other like they did as kids.

Bursting through the back door he spotted Dean immediately. Quickly putting the phone back on the receiver he moved to his brother and held his face in his hands, feeling the thready beat of his heart against his palm. Panicking he slapped him on the face a bit, trying to wake him up while his head reeled.

What the hell had happened?

Some of the furniture was moved around a little, but enough for there to have been a struggle with someone else. Casting another look around the room he noticed Dean's walking stick leaned against the coffee table where he had left it before going out for the walk, he had obviously fallen asleep on. How could he have been so careless again?

'Hey Dean, come on man wake up!' Sam urged as he slapped Dean lightly on the face, wishing he would just open his sightless eyes and wake up. 'Come on man! Don't make me call an ambulance!' But Dean wasn't waking up. Pulling out his mobile phone he dialled in 911 and gave them his address, telling them his brother wouldn't wake up and to hurry!

Then he dialled in Bobby's number, who answered on the first ring.

'Sam what's going on, do you need me to come home?'

'No it's okay Bobby, I will call you when I get to the hospital. I think he passed out, called an ambulance just in case.' Sam tried to keep his voice calm.

'What on earth where you doing outside?'

'I went for a walk Bobby, clear my head a little. He was out for the count because of the medication so I took advantage of that and got some fresh air.' The guilt seemed to slide off him and chunks at the words.

'It's okay son, no need to be feeling so guilty. We all slip up sometimes. I woulda done the same, that kid has no resistance to those pills. Even panadol puts him out sometimes.'

Bobby was right, but that didn't make him feel any better. He should have been there for when Dean woke up.

'Call me when you get to the hospital and find out what happened.'

'Will do, thanks Bobby. See ya.' Hanging up, Sam jumped up and ran around the house collecting all Dean's medications, some clean clothes and a bottle of water as the sound of sirens came closer. He greeted the paramedics at the door and led them through the house to Dean.

'Pulse is weak and thready, airways sound a little restricted. Push some fluid and oxygen while I go and get the gurney.' The female paramedic left then, leaving Sam with the younger male.

'Is there any chance your brother may have overdosed at all?' Sam was taken aback at the question but felt alarmed when he realised it was a possibility. Dean could easily have woken up in pain and gone for medication and mistaken the brail on the bottles, he still wasn't very good at ready it.

'I didn't look at his medication bottles, should I check if any are missing?' The paramedic nodded as he finished inserting the IV into Dean's arm, moving to place an oxygen mask over his face. And fitting a few heart rate monitors on his bare chest, a little peg on his finger that beat out an uneven rhythm on the portable monitor.

Frantically counting the pills quickly, Sam felt relief wash through his body. 'None are missing.' The paramedic just nodded and kept looking Dean over, finding a few new bruises that were beginning to bloom on his stomach.

'Do you know what these are from?'

'Shit, he is blind….' The words felt foreign as they rolled over his tongue. 'I was outside; he must have walked in to a few things…. I don't remember him ever bruising so easily though.' Sam looked his brother over then, noticing there were a lot of dark bruises on his body.

'You said he was blind?' The female paramedic was coming back now, the younger one was probing Dean's abdomen as he asked questions, pulling out a pad and pen to write things down.

'Only recently, about two to three months ago it happened. He was attacked and his eyes were badly damage, he broke his leg and got a pretty severe infection too.' That seemed to interest the paramedic then.

'What kind of infections?' He asked as the woman lowered the gurney so they could lift Dean on.

'Uh got a pretty bad one in the wounds on his eyes, then a blood one stemmed from that, it eventually spread through his body and began in the broken bone of his leg. It ate away part of the bone and muscle;' Sam swallowed; this was harder than it should have been 'after they removed the area though it seemed to be okay, left his leg in a bad way though.'

Dean was on the gurney by now; the female paramedic was arranging the IV and monitor so they didn't fall off.

'We would like for you to ride in the ambulance with us if you could. Anymore information you could supply would help a lot.' Sam nodded dumbly. Unsure of how much more helpful he could be. He clambered in to the back of the ambulance and took Dean's hand, answering any more questions he could.

'Balls.' Bobby cursed as he flipped the mobile phone shut and shoved it back in his pocket. He had to fight off the urge to drive back to Sioux Falls and be at Dean's side and help Sam out, but he was more helpful here. If all this worked he would be steps closer to achieving his goal.

Beside Rufus was raising an eye brow in question but Bobby just shook his head, they couldn't get in to it here. He had called his old hunting buddy in to help him break in to the collector's house. It was a two man job and Ash had made it clear he was a computer tech helper only.

'Let's hurry up and get this over and done with.' Bobby grumbled, it was bad enough it had taken a whole day to work this out, another for Rufus to get here, and top it off he had to wait another for the last two items to arrive in the mail.

All he could think of right now is putting his head in the game. Ash had only been able to work out a five minute window for them to get in to the house and retrieve the item before the backup generator would put the power back on.

'Keep your grey hairs on.' Rufus muttered as they both watched the lights surrounding the house go out, they took that as their cue to scale the fence and move through the large front yard at a quick pace and silently break a glass window.

Rufus held the tea towel over the window while Bobby tapped at the glass with a hammer and smiled when the only noise they were greeted with was the light tinkle of the glass sprinkling on the soft carpet they rested their dirty boots on a few moments later.

Thanks to Ash, they had entered the exact room they were searching for. His detailed blue prints were handy indeed, Bobby made a mental note to repay the kid somehow. Maybe with a few sleeveless flannels and band t-shirts that weren't beer or sweat stained from many drunken all-nighters at the Roadhouse.

The room resembled that of a torture chamber; the two older hunters shivered in unison as they looked around the room filled with macabre memorabilia from the Salem Witch Trials. Bobby spotted the wall he needed and headed towards it whilst Rufus kept a look out at the door for the security guard who got paid handsomely to walk the numerous rooms of the house.

Reading dusty labels, Bobby took the one he needed from its shelf and placed a fake in its wake; perfect with aged dust particles and almost fool proof ingredients contained in the aged glass vial. Pocketing the vial he signalled Rufus, they had two minutes before the grounds would be flooded with light and the security cameras were to come on.

They made it back over the wall as the lawns were flooded in light once more.

'Are you sure you needed help with this at all Bobby? That was a little simple for two people.' Rufus commented as they drove back towards the Roadhouse.

'Yeah, there was too much on the table if I was to get caught there. I needed someone to look out for the security guard.' Bobby was thankful when his phone rang, he answered with a quick hello, knowing who it was.

Pacing back and forth, Sam stopped when the doctor came towards him.

'Are you Dean's brother? The paramedics told me to look out for the tall one wearing a whole in the floor; I guess they give good directions.' The doctor was pretty, Dean was going to be pissed he couldn't see her, if we woke up… Sam's heart skipped a beat. 'Did you want to take a seat?' She pointed to the chair he had avoided for the good part of two hours while the doctor had worked Dean over.

Reluctantly though, he took the offered seat to be joined by the doctor. 'I'm Doctor Rees by the way,' she extended a hand that Sam shook limply. 'I have been looking after your brother for the good part of two hours. He isn't awake yet, but we do know what's wrong and we just need you to sign some forms to approve his treatment.'

'What's wrong?' Sam asked hurriedly, what kind of treatment did he need that needed his go ahead? Horrible images started pooling across his vision, making him dizzy with stress and anxiety. He let his head fall in to his hands again, like they had hours ago in the yard.

'He's going to be okay, it's just a nasty case of Anaemia. The antibiotics he would have been pumped full of during the first month of his accident would have severely repressed your brother's immune system which in turn has dangerously lowered his blood count. Now I am assuming he must have gotten up too quickly, and with the added stress of being blind would have added to the disorientation; your brother must have panicked. With Anaemia this severe collapse in not uncommon, it happens to a lot of patients when they stand too quickly and their blood pressures drops fast, it's a common reaction to low blood count.

'We just need your permission to perform a blood transfusion for your brother Dean; since he isn't awake right now we need your consent.' The doctor was thorough and gentle with Sam; she even felt her hand on his arm when he didn't look up as he struggled to control himself, tears welling in the corner of his eyes.

'So this wasn't my fault?' He whispered, more to himself then the doctor.

'Definitely not your fault, is everything okay Sam?' The question was genuine; he looked up in to the doctors eyes and nodded, unconvincingly. 'How long have you been blaming yourself for your brother's accident?' She asked.

'Since the beginning….' He resigned the answer all too willingly, shocking himself in to stunned silence. How had that just happened? He never gave personal information that willingly.

'You couldn't have known your brother was going to be attacked, it was a random act of violence. Even if you had known, there is no way you could have stopped it. Fate has a sure way of dealing unfair judgement; nobody can be there to protect someone their whole life.' The doctor still hadn't removed her hand; instead she moved it down to his hands and pulled them apart, holding them both in an understanding manner.

'You need to stop blaming yourself Sam.' There was a quiet pause as they sat there like that for a moment before she spoke again, more softly this time. 'There is a lady here, she helps a lot of people like yourself, relatives of people who have suffered a traumatic injury that has dramatically affected their lives, I would like to refer you to her.' Sam just nodded, Dean was right. He did need someone to talk to.

Sitting and talking with the doctor was proof enough he needed someone else, a support line. He took the papers from the doctor and signed them, asking if he could go through and see his brother after he made a phone call. She nodded, telling him the room number for Dean before walking over to the desk and alerting the nurse there he would be through in a few minutes.

Hitting Bobby's number once more, he was relieved to be giving some good news.

'Hey Bobby, its semi good news. No nothing overly life threatening, just a bad case of Anaemia.' Sam yawned around the words, still tired from his small nap in the yard, his back aching a little from leaning against the buckled car frame and dirt.

'Ah I think he will need a few transfusions, the antibiotics screwed his system to shit. Yeah I will keep you posted, hopefully when he wakes up and has had the transfusion he can come back home.' Sam shared a few more words with his only living father figure before hanging up the phone and heading to Dean's bedside, with a promise that he would do everything in his power to make it up to Dean for letting all this.

Anything.

Please review :3