Brothers in Wonderland

(An 'Alice in Wonderland' parody I wrote for fun but decided to post anyways... It's nothing special or great just another (long) one-shot)

The blonde's eyes snapped open and he sat up. A book slid from his nose to his lap. He was sitting in his garden, under a tree, reading a novel and drinking tea. He had fallen asleep obviously, which was strange for him. He stood up and flexed. He wasn't used to sitting or sleeping on the ground.

A shuffling noise distracted him. There was a rustle of leaves before a young child emerged from the bushes. Their light green eyes locked in a stare. The blonde child was dressed completely in white and bared a remarkable resemblance to England. In fact the child looked exactly like a 5 year old England. The only difference was two light creamed coloured rabbit ears that dangled loosely at the side of his head.

They stared at each other for a few moments before the younger bunny England began running away. England ran after him.

"Hey! Wait up! Who are you? WHAT are you?"

England chased the boy as he scurried away from his older version. England was wondering how long he was going to chase the strange boy and why his small garden seemed to be going on forever. Eventually the boy dressed in white made a sharp turn around a large white rose bush. England rounded the bush and skidded to a stop.

In front of him was a huge pit about 2m in diameter.

"What the fu~?"

He gaped at the hole. He looked to the left and right and realised that the only place for that the young blonde could escape to was down the hole. He approached carefully. He stood on the edge of the hole and glanced in. He didn't expect it to look so deep. It was completely black and he couldn't see the bottom. He leaned further to get a better look.

"If this is some stupid prank that my brothers thought of then I'm going to ki~!"

He gasped as he felt two small child's hands on his back. He felt his weight move forward in a rush as he toppled over the edge. He could only catch a glimpse of what or who had pushed him into the hole. It was a short flash of red hair and bright green eyes which soon disappeared as he tumbled deeper into the hole.

It was surreal, falling through darkness. He didn't know how fast he was falling. He wondered when he was going to meet the ground, it might actually kill him. It didn't kill Russia though… Maybe he would survive too?

He panicked anyway.

And screamed like a manic…

He closed his eyes, not wishing to see the ground or his death coming.

The rush or air around him stopped suddenly. He was too scared to open his eyes but after a while he was curious to why he wasn't

A) Going splat.

B) Feeling the rush of air that came from falling

C) Screaming anymore.

He opened his eyes in experimentation and saw he was standing in a circular room. He felt so dizzy and disorientated. He looked up and saw a near endless tunnel going straight up. There was a small blue dot at the end which he assumed was the sky.

He blinked.

How was he standing after falling so far? What had stopped his fall? What had started his fall? His main question though was

"How the bloody hell am I meant to get back up there again?"

A speck of white moving quickly along the ground caught his eye. He looked at it carefully and suddenly recognised it as the white bunny boy, except he was only a couple of inches high. The boy rushed to the edge of the circular room and through a tiny door that was only half a foot tall. He dropped something though as he exited.

England was confused to why the boy was so small. Maybe he had grown big though? He knelt down and picked up what the mini England had dropped. It was a little scone, only the size of a button. He peeked through the door, hoping for it to be a way out. He certainly couldn't leave any other way. He could see a garden on the other side. It looked just like his garden but it had small differences. He could see the start of a forest at the end of it. It was an escape route to England.

Trouble was England was 5' 9 and the door was 0' 6…

He was not going to be able to walk through the door being the size he was now. His stomach rumbled slightly and he remembered that he fell into this stupid hole just before lunch. He looked at the miniature scone.

"Might as well try it…" He popped it into his mouth and swallowed it. "Hmmm… Not too bad…"

His body tingled suddenly and he felt his body become tighter. It felt like he was being pushed into on all sides as he was slowly compressed. When his body stopped tingling and his senses came back to him. The tiny speck of sky at the top of the deep shaft was further away now and the room was much bigger, to England's surprise. That was when he realised the room was not bigger, he had shrunk.

"Bloody hell…."At least his clothes shrunk as well…

He looked at the door and smiled slightly as he realised that he could now fit through the door. He ran through the door in a hurry to escape the circular room.

The garden was huge now compared to him. He wondered where his younger rabbit like self went when a smoke signal caught his attention. He walked towards it, examining the now giant flowers with avid curiosity. He soon found the source of the thin line of smoke climbing into the sky. It was a dark red dragon with a child sitting on top, drawing with crayons.

A 5 year old Wales.

Except he was dressed in a puffy blue outfit which had six arms and two dark blue antenna on his head. The way he looked and dressed, he closely resembled a blue caterpillar.

"Wales?" The blonde child looked up from his drawing and in surprise at England.

"Oh!... Hello."

"Wales! Why are you a child? Why are you dressed like a caterpillar? Why are you in this pit too?"

"Huh? I donnae ken what yer talking about?" He slid off of the smoking dragon's back. He moved around all his arms. "These are real… I am a caterpillar."

England froze.

His brother had aged backwards and grew an extra two pair of arms and two antennas.

Ballocks...

"And we are nae in a pit and I hav' always been this age…" England's mouth hanged opened. This was beyond abnormal. If this was a prank, it was a bloody good one. The mini Wales examined England closely. He touched England with all 6 of his hands, curiously. He smiled suddenly.

"Ye must be… Alice!"

"Wait! What? Alice?" Wales hugged England's knees.

"Alice!"

"I'm not Alice! I'm not a girl! I'm a guy! A GUY!"

"And?... Alice can be a guy."

"But I'm called England! England! Your brother!"

"Huh? England? Who's that? Yer Alice." Wales said with conviction. England sighed. It was useless arguing with the child.

"Fine... Whatever… Where are we then?" Wales smiled slightly.

"You should know that more than anyone." England huffed, not understanding the answer but accepting it for now.

"Fine. Did you see a little me with ears like a rabbit? He was dressed in white and ran by here I think."

"Oh I ken him! He's the White Rabbit! He was headin' ta the castle!"

"Castle?"

"Aye. It's very far away when yer this size though… Donnae worry, I will make ye bigger so ye can get there quicker."

"Umm… okay then, Wales. How?" Wales held up another scone.

"Eat this. It will make ye big. Good luck finding the White Rabbit, Alice!" England nodded and took the scone.

"Thank you, Wales." He ate the scone and his body tingled again. It felt like he was being stretched and filled with air. The last thing he heard from the tiny caterpillar child was this.

"I'm nae called Wales though. I'm the Blue Caterpillar!"

Soon he was at his normal height. He looked around the garden, poking into hedges and bushes, searching for his younger rabbit self.

He saw a bush shaking and crept up on it. He threw the bush open, expecting to see the white bunny.

Instead two auburn coloured boys fell out of the hedge. It was an 8 and 9 year old North Ireland and Ireland. The two Irish boys stood up, dusting themselves off. They wore red and yellow striped T-shirts and blue shorts and red base ball caps. North Ireland grinned at England while Ireland glared. North Ireland began talking first like normal.

"Hello there! How are ye? I'm Tweedle Dee. Who are ye?" He said in a small rhyme. Ireland punched him in the arm.

"Shut yer mouth! Ye stupid tattie! I'm tha one named Tweedle Dee!" He spoke angrily and loudly but in rhyme as well. England stared at them.

"Why are you speaking like that?"

"You should know that more than anyone!" North Ireland blurted out suddenly.

"Edjit! Ye just broke tha rhyme!" Ireland spoke angrily at him.

"Opps…"

"I'm Tweedle Dee and He is Tweedle Dum."

"Why am I Tweedle Dum?"

"Cause yer the dummy!"

"Then who is he?"

"Tha's Alice! Can't ye tell, ye dumb ninny!"

"Oh… That's right! He is Alice. I fergot." England watched them argue. They acted exactly like his older brothers.

"Excuse me. Have you seen a younger me?"

"A whit?"

"A who?"

England thought for what Wales had called him again. "The White Rabbit I think."

"Och, aye! We seen him! He went ta the castle!"

"Where is the castle?"

"You should know that more than anyone"

England huffed again. Everyone kept saying that. 'You should know that more than anyone.' What did that mean?

"Plus we cannae remember."

"But they might!"

"Aye! They might!"

"Who might?" They ignored England's question.

"We'll take ye there"

"They are drinkin' tae in the woods!"

Each Irish boy grabbed a hand and began dragging England towards the forest. They lead the way along a twin twisted path. England had begun to think they were lost until they came to a clearing. In the middle sat a huge banquet table with 50 odd chairs around it. At one end sat two men. The two auburn haired children released England hand and North Ireland ran forward excitably.

"Chess!" The scowling child Ireland remained by England's side. An adult North Ireland jumped forward excitably. He wore loose purple striped clothes and had purple highlights in his hair. He also sported purple cat ears and a long tail. He was grinning widely like the normal North Ireland. He held his arms out.

An adult Ireland remained sitting. He was dress in bright orange clothing with a fancy jacket and a large over decorative top hat with a cloth clover on it. He was sipping on an empty broken tea cup while glaring at England. North Ireland jumped into North Ireland's arms.

"Tweedle Dum!" They hugged.

England stared at the strange sight. Seeing older and younger versions of the two Irish countries was like he was in a dream. It was just so surreal.

"Who are they?" He asked. Young Ireland glared up at England.

"You should know this more than anyone. The purple cat is called the Cheshire Cat or Chess for short. The angry one is called the Mad Hatter or just Hatter."

"Mad? As in crazy?"

"Nee! Ye ninny! Mad as in angry! He has a lousy temper! He's alwaying howling 'boot somethin'!"

"I heard that shorty! Ye ain't nae saint yerself!"

"Shut it, ye fuckin' Hatter!"

"See! Ye hav' just as bad a bloody temper as me!"

The two Ireland began shouting and swearing at each other angrily while the two North Ireland smiled and talked excessively to each other. England was beginning to understand this place a little. The inhabitants were younger and older versions of him and his brothers. They were also strange people with different names and animal features…

The characters sounded familiar to him but he couldn't pin-point where he had heard the names or seen the characters before…

He began wondering where the younger and older Scotlands where in this world. He wanted to avoid them if possible…

He also remembered that there should be an older Wales somewhere as well. England walked over to the table and sat down. Most of the tea cups were broken and the tea was cold. He checked the inside of the teacup, for any extra, hopefully warm, tea. It was empty. England huffed annoyed at his lack of tea when a snoring noise reached his ears. It came from under the table.

He looked under the table to find a sleeping adult Wales. He was dressed in grey with large mouse ears and a long thing tail.

"Tha's Door Mouse!" He spun around in his chair to see the cat-like Irish man. North Ireland grinned a lot normally but this version of him would put him to shame. His smile was inhumanly wide and slightly creepy.

'Tweedle Dum' had returned to his angry look alike brother. They were just leaving, heading back to the garden where they had just come from. Old Ireland had calmed down a little but he still glared out from under the wide rim of his bright top hat. He had change seats though and was drinking out of a different cup now which had actual tea in it. North Ireland sat down beside him and began drinking tea as well.

"Is he okay?"

"Aye! Doors just likes ta sleep a lot but he is very smart. He kens a lot!"

"Does he? Then maybe he cou~"

"CHANGE SEATS!" Ireland yelled angrily. Both Irish men stood up and moved along a few chairs clumsily and in a hurry. When England didn't move, Ireland threw a teacup at him.

"MOVE, YE NINNY!" England quickly rushed to another chair. One that was further away from the two. North Ireland's ears twitched when he saw this and he pouted briefly before breaking out into a grin. Suddenly he faded away, leaving his smile behind. It soon disappeared though and England looked shocked. He gasped.

"Where did North Ireland go?"

"Who?"

"The cat man! You know! Chess!"

"He's beside ya, ye edjit!" His head snapped to the side and he jolted when there was a grinning North Ireland staring at him intently.

"How did you do that?"

"Whit?"

"Disappeared and reappeared like that!" The two of them stared at him as if he was the crazy one.

"Shouldnae ye ken this?"

"Aye. You should know that more than anyone. Alice."

Again with that answer! England crossed his arms. He was so confused and he felt lost. He had no idea where he was or how to get back home. And everyone kept calling him ALICE and answering 'You should know that more than anyone.' to his questions. It was annoying. He was beginning to wonder why he followed that young rabbit version of him.

England suddenly remembered why he was here.

"Where is the castle?"

"You should know that more than anyone."

"I know. I know…."

"Why are ye looking fer the castle anyways?"

"I'm chasing a white rabbit…." He admitted with a blush.

"Oh him! I ken him!" North Ireland jumped excitably and grinned widely, before teleporting to the other side of England to reach a new teacup. "He works fer tha' red king! What's his name agen?"

"The King of Hearts!" Ireland snapped.

"Aye, tha's it! The red haired king rules this place. White Rabbit works fer him." England paled. He suddenly had a feeling he knew where Scotland was in this world. He had no idea if it was his younger or older self but it didn't really matter… Scotland as a king was bad news no matter how old he was…

"CHANGE SEATS!" They all moved again. North Ireland continued like the conversation like they were not interrupted.

"Ye ken Alice, Door Mouse will go with ye thar." England had suddenly decided not to go. He wanted to avoid Scotland. North Ireland evaporated and reappeared beside where Wales was sleeping under the table.

"DOORS! WAKEY WAKEY!"

Wales blinked himself awake and crawled out from under the table. Around his neck he also had a red spotted handkerchief tied loosely. He mumbled something quietly and Ireland yelled at him to speak up. He repeated it grudgingly followed with a wide yawn.

"I need ta go ta tha Red King's castle… Tha King of Hearts will be waitin'…"

"Take Alice with ye then. He wants ta go too!"

"Aye. Plus he is annoying…"

England soon found himself being escorted by Wales while his North Ireland waved and screamed "GOODBYE ALICE!" at them as Ireland drank tea, scowling at them.

England looked at Wales. This version of him was quieter than the normal one, which was amazing. He also looked exhausted enough to pass out on his feet. England stared at the mouse ears which twitched, showing that they were real.

"Wal~ I mean Door Mouse… Why are you going to the castle?"

"….You should know that... more than anyone…."

"Let's pretend I don't."

"….Oh… I'm going to paint... tha roses red…"

"That's strange…"

"Not really... The King wants red roses so I'm… going to paint them red…"

England fell silent. The castle was soon in sight. Wales abandoned him in the castle's garden to begin painting the hundreds of white roses a bright red. Wales had said "…Goodbye Alice…" before leaving him.

England thought about turning back but instead he found himself continuing.

He soon found himself in an oversized throne the end of it in a huge throne, sat Scotland. To his complete and utter surprise, Scotland was dressed normal in his bright blue military uniform and smoking a cigar. Scotland sat with his ankles crossed. On his lap sat the young England with rabbit ears, clinging onto Scotland's uniform tightly. Scotland had his free arm around the small boy in a protective way. The only strange thing he was wearing was a gold crown which sat lop-sided on his head. He was relaxed and very smug looking. He looked at England lazily.

"Och. Hey England."

"Huh?" Scotland raised a thick red eyebrow at his brother's stupefied reaction.

"Whit?"

"Y-you just called me England!"

"Aye. Isnnae tha' yer name?"

"Yeah but everyone calls me Alice here…"

"Of coorse they do. Tha's who ye are here."

"Alice? Why Alice?" Scotland smirked suddenly.

"Donnae tell me… Ye donnae recognise tha story?" England thought for a moment.

A story? Alice… White Rabbit… Mad hatter… Cheshire Cat… Blue Caterpillar…. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum…

"This is Wonderland! I am 'Alice in Wonderland!"

"Bingo. My wee broth finally figure it out."

"Scotland, how do you know this? You call me England and are in your normal clothes and everything! How are you not effected?"

"You should know that more than anyone."

"What does that mean!" Scotland grinned smugly.

"It means that you know the answer. You just nae thinkin' enuff." England clenched his fist.

"I don't know the answer!"

"Ye dae!"

"No! I don't! This is just a stupid dream!" England stopped suddenly. Scotland's grin widened as he saw England discover the answer. The young bunny boy England, who had been staring curiously at normal England, hid his face when his older self raised his voice.

"This is a dream?..."

"Aye."

"So none of this is real?"

"Nee! Donnae get ahead of yerself. Of coorse this is real!"

"Huh?... I don't understand…" England looked confused. Scotland looked amused.

"It's simple. This is a dream within a dream which makes it reality." England looked even more lost.

"If you cannae understand that, then donnae bother thinkin' boot it…. Just remember that ye are dreaming this…" England blinked.

"I am dreaming all this but it is real… So this is my dream?" Scotland snorted.

"Donnae be daff!" England opened and closed his mouth. It felt like Scotland was purposely trying to muddle him. "Yer just dreaming it but it ainnae yer dream…" Scotland's voice had softened noticeably.

"Then who's dream is it?" He demanded impatiently.

"The dream belongs to the one who brought ye here…." He was speaking very quietly now.

"Who is that then?" He demanded louder.

"… He's been standing behind ye this whole time…" Scotland was staring past England now. England turned around slowly and faced a short 12 year old Scotland staring wide eyed at England. He looked shocked at the sight of the English man. England mouth popped open as he stared at the young red head. The 12 year old was dressed in ancient clothes with a blue cloak. He had a bow and a quiver full of arrows on his back.

"...Is he real?..." England whispered now.

"Aye… He isnae part of tha dream either..." Scotland sounded completely serious.

"How can this be his dream?... This Scotland existed 2000 years ago… He can't be dreaming this."

"He isnae… Ye are dreaming this but it was originally his…" He turned back to the older Scotland who was staring coldly at England and holding the young England to his chest.

"This can't be possible!"

"It is."

"How?" Scotland glared down at him. All his earlier humour and amusement was gone. England glared back. He felt a tug on his sleeve and his head snapped down to the young red hair looking up at him.

"Ciamar a tha sibh, Iggy?" England looked confused. He suddenly remembered that Scotland never learned English until he was 17 or 18. Scotland answered for him in Gaelic.

The young boy nodded before reaching up and giving England a tight but clumsy hug. He also gave a kiss to England's forehead.

"Tha gaol agam ort." He stepped back, blushing a little but grinning kindly at the same time. "Mar sin leat!"

Scotland looked down on the scene with a blank face. It was hard to judge what he was thinking when he used his poker face liked this. England stared at the boy as he faded away. England turned back to Scotland and young England shocked. Scotland nodded and closed his eyes before taking in a deep breath from his cigar.

"The dream is going ta end soon fer ye…"

"What will happen to the dream? What will happen to Chess and Doors and Tweedle Dee? Will they disappear now?"

"We will end."

"We?"

"Aye… I nae the real Scotland… Nae like tha Scotland ye just seen, he was tha real Scotland... I'm jus' part of the dream… just like this wee White Rabbit…" England stared at Scotland then his young self.

He puffed on his cigarette more. The small bunny England stared at him, tearfully. Scotland patted the boy gently, trying to calm him down. He murmured a couple of comforting words. He turned back to England.

"Remember though that I'm nae yer real brother. I just look and act like him. My name is the Red King oor the King of Hearts." England blinked and looked directly at his younger self who looked upset. He began to realise what this meant for this Scotland and everyone else in the dream.

"When did this dream begin?"

"Fer ye, when ye fell down tha' hole and into oor world, Fer us 2000 years ago."

"When will it end?" Scotland smiled sadly.

"When ye stop dreaming..."

"And you will die too?" England could feel tears prick at the edges of his eyes. Even though he barely knew these people and they weren't his real brothers, he still felt attached to them. He didn't want them to disappear.

Scotland paused a while before answering. "Aye... but we already lived 2000 years... It's time ta move oon." Eangland soon found himself crying properly like a child again.

"B-But I don't want you to d-die! Even if you are not m-my b-b-brother! Even if you are a d-dream! You said y-you are r-real!"

"But I have ta..."

"NO!" England wiped his tears on his sleeves, trying to stop the endless tears. "You c-can't d-die!"

"Do me a last favour befoore I disappear..."

England sniffed loudly. "What?" Scotland smiled sadly but kindly, directly into England's eyes.

"Wake up, ye naffy and have a dandy life."

The blonde's tear filled eyes snapped open and he sat up. A book slid from his nose to his lap. He was sitting in his garden, under a tree, reading a novel and drinking tea. He had fallen asleep obviously, which was strange for him. Another strange thing was his dream. He looked down at his lap. His book had closed, losing his place. On the cover it read 'Alice in Wonderland'. He began crying a bit more, remembering the contents of his dream and how it ended. With the ends of his alternate brothers. He wiped his face with his sleeve and found it was wet from the dreams he had wiped in the dream.

He looked past his lap and his eye widened as he gasped. Lying on top of him, like a blanket, was a bright blue cloak that someone else had placed there on him to comfort him. The same cloak worn by Scotland 2000 years ago….

Behind the bush, a 12 year old red haired child stared at England who had just woken up. He smiled sadly as the older blonde country stood up, walking back inside his house, with the book and now empty tea cup while sniffing all the while. The Englishman had looked confused, perplexed and slightly disorientated but had fresh tears glistening on his cheeks. The blonde had left behind his blue cloak and the young Scotland ran forward and picked it up. He tied the cloak back on.

"Hey!" The short red head spun around to see a smiling adult Scotland with a crown. Around him were the other characters of Wonderland; The Blue Caterpillar, The Mad Hatter, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, White Rabbit, Door Mouse, Cheshire Cat.

"Let's go. Alice will be dandy now." The small Scotland ran up to the Red King and grabbed his hand. He led the young child and the rest of them to the huge pit.

"Come on, doon tha rabbit hole back to Wonderland. It's time ta move oon..." The bunny England rushed forward, being the first one to jump into the hole. He was soon followed by the rest though. When the final character jumped, the hole slowly faded away leaving no trace of the hole or the strange people who had jumped into it.

(A/N - Yeah... I was not high when I wrote this... I wrote it on a spur and it was meant to be confusing and not make sense... Sorry...

Scottish Gaelic Translations

Ciamar a tha sibh - How are you

Tha gaol agam ort - I love you

Mar sin leat - Goodbye

Review please and thanks for reading this chapter. It is much longer than my other ones and a little weird. And the ending is sad with the whole Wonderland world disappearing. Ask if you want an answer and i will (try to) answer them. Thanks for the reviews and favs. Review please.)