Title: Fighting the Stranger in My Eyes
Warnings: Non-graphic depictions of violence and death.
Category: Hurt/comfort, Romance
The title is from Slowly Freaking Out by Skylar Grey but has no other connection to the song. Also, this is a prompt fill to an anonymous request.
His eyes were green.
With a gasp, Clary broke away from the tendrils of sleep still clinging to her, cold sweat beading her forehead.
It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. She mouthed the phrase to herself over and over again until they smeared together and lost their meaning.
Quiet footsteps thudded their way to the bathroom, and Clary shivered as her feet touched the tile floor. She flicked on the too bright lights, revealing her pale reflection and the dark smudges underneath her eyes.
Clary splashed her face with frigid water, as if she could wash away the nightmares that bled into reality, that clung to her even when she was awake. They stuck like dirt underneath her fingernails, but scrubbing her hands until they were raw would not get rid of the residue. Since the events in Edom, the nightmares had become a constant. They all had typical plot lines, similar to those of B-grade horror movies, but that didn't make them any less horrifying.
At this rate, Clary probably wouldn't be able to fall asleep again and decided to forgo four more hours of tossing and turning for Jace's comfort. She padded her way down the Institute's shadowed hallways, keeping a hand along the walls as she walked, before arriving at Jace's door. It was around 2:00 AM but Jace, who had the sleeping habits of a caffeinated owl, was probably still awake. She turned the knob and pushed the door open just a crack, in case Jace was still asleep.
"Jace?"
Jace looked up from his book, which Clary caught a sight of before he put it down on the nightstand. It was the familiar, battered copy of A Tale of Two Cities.
"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Jace asked.
She cracked a smile, though it was subdued. "Look who's talking."
"Come here," Jace said, moving over on the bed and smoothing down the sheets next to him.
Clary obliged, then nestled into the blankets and nuzzled into Jace's shirt. Jace's familiar scent of soap, and his arm, wrapped around her.
"Can't sleep?" Jace asked.
"Sort of." Clary's reply came out muffled by Jace's shirt. "Never mind me though. Why can't you sleep?"
Jace sighed, running a hand through his hair, before resting it on the back of his neck.
"Restless mind?" he proposed. "I'm not sure exactly."
"Anything to do with that?" asked Clary, gesturing to the book that sat on Jace's nightstand, with the Herondale ring on top of it.
"That's part of it, I guess."
"You can talk about it, if you want."
Jace closed his eyes for a moment and tilted his head back against the headboard. "No, not now. Maybe another time."
She nodded, settling back in Jace's arms. "Okay."
"Why can't you sleep, then?" Jace asked. "You really should be getting some rest."
"It's not that; I can fall asleep just fine. It's staying asleep that I have a problem with."
"Nightmares?"
Clary sighed, then made a sound of affirmation.
"Want to talk about it?"
Clary shook her head, feeling more pathetic than ever. "I just want to sleep, but I can't." She had fought demons and been to Hell and back—literally—and nightmares, fictional situations conjured up by her own mind, would be her undoing.
"You can go to sleep, Clary," Jace said, reaching for her hand. "I'll be right here."
The pressure of Jace against her side and his hand in hers, reminding her that he was there, had the effect of lavender and chamomile tea. Clary almost fought her drooping eyelids but eventually succumbed, letting sleep draw her in.
Clary pressed a chaste kiss to Sebastian's cheek, her hand lingering at the hilt of her sword.
"Hail, master."
Sebastian's eyes clouded with confusion, then widened as clarity dawned on him. He started but Clary was faster, pulling Heosphoros from her belt and plunging it into his chest.
The look of betrayal on his face as he blazed up in golden fire was one she would never forget, and it wrenched in her stomach, made her throat close up.
It all happened so fast, but the heavenly fire burned away, leaving only Sebastian's still body behind. Then, his eyes flicked open, and they were gold. A familiar gold.
"No," said Clary. "No, no, no. This isn't happening."
The figure on the ground tilted his head to look at her with a mask of utter horror and betrayal.
"Jace!"
With an outstretched hand and tears threatening to spill, she reached to press her hand to his cheek. But he recoiled and shot her a glare so full of venom, twisted with pain.
"Don't. Don't touch me," he hissed. "Get away from me."
Clary staggered back into Isabelle as the tears spilled over, choking back a sob. She looked to Isabelle, who shoved her away before shooting her a cold glare; it was almost worse than Jace's anger.
"How could you, Clary?" she was saying.
"Clary," hissed the Dark Shadowhunters, advancing towards her.
"Clary."
"Clary."
"Clary."
Her name in their mouth was filled with so much hatred, worsened infinitely when Jocelyn, Isabelle, Alec, Magnus, Simon, and Luke joined the Endarkened, all wielding weapons.
"Clary!"
It was Jace, and Clary turned towards him instinctively, hoping that maybe he had broken through the control that the demon blood held over him, that everything was okay. In one swift, graceful motion, Jace pulled the sword from his chest and thrust it at Clary.
It hit home.
The last thing Clary saw was Jace falling back, before everything faded into darkness, for her to follow Jace to where he had gone.
"Clary." Jace gripped Clary by her shoulders, shaking her. "Clary!"
Clary's eyes snapped open, tears blurring her vision, and she almost pushed herself off the bed before her eyes focused on Jace's. She collapsed bonelessly, stifling a sob.
Jace spoke to her, repeating the same words over and over again. Clary couldn't hear what he was saying over the roar of panic in her ears, but she let the sound of his voice alone be her anchor. It lulled her heartbeat and untightened the iron fist clenched around her body, holding her stagnant in the face of fear. He held her until her sobs faded into shuddering breaths, and Jace wiped a tear away with his thumb, lingering on her cheekbone before he dropped his hand.
Jace was silent for a moment, before breaking it. "Do you want to talk about it? It might help."
Clary exhaled slowly. "We were back in Edom, in Sebastian's throne room. I killed him with Heosphoros, like how it happened in real life, but he… he morphed into you. I killed you. And everyone else… They hated me—which, you know, was an appropriate reaction—but it was like they turned into the Endarkened and I just..." Clary's voice had become a whisper, her words trailing off.
"But they didn't, Clary."
"I know but…"
"They're all alive and safe, and you didn't kill me. I'm right here, and Sebastian's dead." Jace smoothed down a strand of Clary's hair, tucking it behind her ear. "Just remember that next time, okay? We're all safe."
They settled into a comfortable silence, Jace pressing feathery kisses to Clary's temple. Clary let herself relish in the quiet moment, her heartbeat calming down to normal, though it registered in the back of her mind that Jace was being too nice. Not that she was complaining but she half expected him to retort with a sarcastic remark and make her laugh to forget. Maybe this was a positive, a sign that Jace's mile-high defense mechanisms were coming down, at least while he was around Clary.
Jace nudged her with an elbow. "Are you okay?"
Was she okay? Her father and brother, albeit evil ones, were dead. Her best friend still didn't remember her. This surely was not the last nightmare-plagued night she would experience. But her family was safe and she still had Jace by her side.
Clary laced her fingers with Jace's, giving a light squeeze. "More than okay."
A/N: So. This is the first time I've updated in a year (oops) and this is the trash I come up with. Apparently, I'm trying to win the "Who can write the most stereotypical, cliche fic in the world?" award. Anyway, I have a couple things I think I should address below, but I'll put the main 'topics' in parentheses so you don't have to wade through the huge mass of text if you don't want to read all of it.
(Why I was absent for so long) Sorry for leaving this fic for so long without any warning! It was really just a matter of not enough time, with trying to balance school and extracurriculars, and any free time I've had this past year has gone to writing/editing some of my original works. After I got published, which was my main goal this past year, I thought I'd be able to work on more Clace fics. All that went out the window when I realized it was time for finals and huge end of the year projects.
(Updating schedule) On the bright side, I'm almost out of school, so I should have more time for writing during the summer. However, I signed up for a volunteer camp that will actually be more time-consuming than school is. Long story short, I've hesitantly planned an update schedule for about once a month (an update can either be a new chapter/oneshot to this fic or an entirely new fic). I'm also going to point out that this fic is technically complete, since all of these are oneshots, though they can be read as a series or separately.
(Extra oneshots/chapters of this fic) If you've been reading this fic for a while, you may have noticed that several oneshots are now gone, specifically All That Matters, Playing Doctor, and Sleigh Bells Ringing. All of these oneshots were written over a year ago (Including this one too, actually. I wrote the majority of this fic a year ago, and it was only a few lines away from being finished) and my writing style has definitely changed.
I can't read my old writing without cringing, so I'm going back and editing/rewriting them. The ones I've deleted are ones that I didn't think were salvageable. If you still want to read them, just message me/leave a comment (you have to be logged in though, so I can reply) and I'd be happy to send you a private link!
Please leave a review of what you thought, even if it's just one sentence! They make my day and encourage me when I'm writing.