Chapter Thirteen
Two weeks after we painted together, I'm sitting in my room staring out the window over my bed. It's mid-December and snowing. Axel started turning the heat up when December started, the thermostat now at a ridiculous temperature, but watching the snow fall makes me feel cold. It's not just the snow making you feel that way. I shiver and try to push the thought out of my head, but it doesn't work. I sigh, knowing my thoughts are about to become obsessive.
Nothing about the past two weeks can be classified as bad. Axel hasn't done anything to hurt me, and the fear I originally felt has more or less dissipated. Unfortunately, other feelings have taken over. The primary two? Confusion and apprehension.
After only two weeks, it goes without saying I'm still not incredibly comfortable around Axel. Quite frankly, I avoid him as much as I can. I mostly see him at meals or when he asks me to do something for him. He seems alright with it, though, which adds to my confusion. Kelvin and the breakers beat it into my head, literally, that any master I would get would hurt me. If they didn't, just wait; the other shoe will drop eventually. That's what I'm waiting for.
He's shown no signs or inclinations of wanting to hurt me, though, which is what I find most puzzling. Every encounter we've had, he's been perfectly affable, but I still can't help but remain a little reserved and skeptical. He's gotten testy and annoyed with me a few times, but he still hasn't raised a hand to me. Part of me is thankful for that. Another part of me wishes he'd just get the inevitable over with. Why prolong everything by lulling me into a false sense of security? It seems cruel.
There's another part of me that believes he's not trying to trick me. That part of me thinks he's being sincere and is really just a nice guy. That part of me likes him and wants to get closer to him. More times than not, I simply smash that part down, but it's getting harder. The more times he doesn't scare or harm me, the more this part of me comes out. This new side of me is trying to take over, and it worries me. What worries me more is that I'm considering letting it.
I growl irritably before launching myself off the bed. I change into a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt I've dedicated to painting and head downstairs into the studio. Axel isn't in here. I actually haven't seen him since breakfast. Who cares? Stop thinking about him for two minutes, will you? I smile a little bit, grab a palette and some paint, and sit down at a painting I've been working on for a couple of days. So far, it consists mostly of whites and blues and I have the firm impression the snow has been influencing it.
I don't know how much time passes before Axel's voice comes over the static-y intercom in the room.
"Iris, are you in there?" he asks. He sounds irritable and tired.
"Yeah," I say, not taking my eyes from the canvas.
"I need you to bring a cup of coffee to my office."
"The usual?" I ask as I wipe my hands on my jeans to get the excess paint off.
"Double the sugar," he sighs. I raise my eyebrows slightly.
"Alright. Be right there." I leave the room and pad into the kitchen. After hooking up the coffee pot, I pop a mug of milk into the microwave to heat up. I glance over at the clock. 11:40 p.m. Wow. When did it get so late? Once the milk is hot enough, I pour in powdered cocoa, mix, and drop in two peppermints. Moments after I'm done with that, the coffee is ready. I pour it into Axel's usual mug, add a splash of milk and his doubled sugar. I take both mugs and walk back down the hall to his office. I bump the door open with my hip and enter.
"Don't you knock?" he growls lightly. He's hunched over the mess of papers littering his desk, his head in his hands and his eyes staring down unblinkingly. I roll my eyes.
"I would've, but I'm currently carrying two mugs," I say. I walk over to his desk and sit his mug down in front of him. I stand for a minute contemplating whether or not I should leave before the new part of me takes over.
"May I sit?" I ask.
"Feel free," he mumbles irritably. I gingerly sit in a chair on the opposite side of his desk and take a sip of my hot cocoa. Without looking up, Axel reaches forward and grabs his coffee. Once he takes a drink, his face relaxes and he sits back. He stretches his neck side to side and rolls his shoulders, groaning.
"Thanks," Axel says while inclining his mug to me. His voice is calm again. I shrug.
"No problem." He looks at me finally and smiles slightly.
"What're you drinking?"
"Hot chocolate. I don't like coffee," I explain. "So, what're you doing up so late?"
"Me?" he asks with a small chuckle. "What about you?" I stare at him for just a second before taking an exaggerated look down at my clothes and my paint covered hands.
"I was finding a cure for cancer," I say extremely sarcastically. I snap my mouth shut quickly and eye him warily. He's already irritated at whatever he's doing, you idiot! Don't provoke him with your stupid sarcasm!
He doesn't look angry, though. He actually looks slightly amused, a light smile playing on his lips.
"I don't think I've heard your sharp tongue since your first day here. I was beginning to think it had disappeared forever," he says and his smile widens. I blush and look down. He laughs lightly. "Hey, it's not a bad thing, kid. I sort of missed it." I look back up at him hesitantly.
"Really? I thought it annoyed you." He shrugs.
"Well, sure it does occasionally. On the whole, though, I find it…refreshing."
"Oh," I say, feeling slightly awkward. I want to change the subject. "So, uh, what are you doing?" His face darkens slightly and he looks drained.
"Working," he sighs, running a hand down his face.
"What do you do?" I ask, suddenly intrigued.
"Eh, nothing worth listening to," he replies with a wave of his hand. I press on.
"No, I'm really interested. It must be something important with how big of place you have."
"I work in investments. My father left me his company when he died along with a hefty inheritance." He sounds grateful, but not exactly happy. "It's a lot of boring, tedious work, especially around the holidays."
"Do you like it?" He stares at me for a minute as though pondering my question. Finally, he purses his lips and shakes his head.
"Not really, no," he says.
"Then why didn't you just sell the company? That's a thing, right? People sell their companies all the time, don't they?" I feel stupid, but I don't really know much about owning a company.
"Yeah, they do. I heavily considered it for a while after my old man died, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. He loved the company, and I feel like it's the only thing left of him. Besides, he always expected me to take it over anyway." I nod.
"I know that feeling," I mumble. He looks at me, and I know he understands. Thankfully, he doesn't say anything else. I clear my throat. "So, um, it's almost Christmas," I say before trailing off. He sits back in his chair all the way and crosses his arms.
"Yeah…?" he prompts. I twiddle my thumbs.
"I…uh…I was just wondering if you were going to put up a tree or anything," I continue, trying not to sound too hopeful. His eyebrows shoot up.
"I can't remember the last time I put up a Christmas tree," he says. My heart sinks slightly.
"Oh…okay. I was just curious…" I say sadly. He continues staring at me and bites down on his lower lip.
"Do you…Do you want a Christmas tree?" he asks, sounding awkward.
"Oh, I…uh…well, if it's an inconvenience…I just…didn't get to have an actual Christmas last year, so I guess I was just…h-hoping…you know…" I stutter out lamely. He thinks for a minute before his eyes set with a resolution.
"Alright. We'll go find one tomorrow," he announces. My eyes light up.
"Really? Are you serious? You're not kidding, are you?" I ask quickly, excitement flooding through me.
"Nope, not kidding. We'll get some lunch and go find a suitable tree."
"We'll have to get ornaments and lights and everything too," I reply brightly, images of the shiny bulbs dancing in my head. Axel looks entertained by my tone and excitement, but I can see the hesitation in his eyes. "Don't worry, it'll be so much fun," I say before getting up to head out of the room.
"Where are you going?" he asks lightly. I turn around to look at him.
"To bed, of course. Sooner I fall asleep, sooner it'll be tomorrow," I explain, bouncing on the balls of my feet. He chuckles.
"I didn't know that's how it works, but alright. Night, kid," he says, turning his attention back to his work. Before shutting the door behind me, I glance at him.
"Axel?" I say softly.
"Mhm?" he mumbles without looking at me.
"You should get some rest, too. I might be wrong, but I think those papers will still be there tomorrow," I reply, a soft undercurrent of concern in my voice. He looks up at me and his expression seems slightly surprised.
"A-Alright," he stutters with a small nod. I smile at him before shutting the door.