I'm sorry for this chapter taking so long. There are no excuses and I'm trying to get better at updating my stories now.

Thanks to: Mrs. Dr. Robert Chase for being the best beta ever! And to: Valeskathesilverwolf, angeleyenc, and ChaleeS693 and everyone who A/F/R-ing previously. for Alerting/Favoriting/Reviewing I love all you guys.

I hope you like this chapter! I'll try to update regularly… but life sucks.

The Man Who Knew too Much

Chapter 13 Salvation

Darkness.

That's all there was.

Darkness so thick it was impossible to see your hand in front of your face… how could he find Dean if he couldn't even see?

Flashes of lightning illuminated the darkness and disappeared too quickly to see anything. Once the light vanished, the darkness deepened and became almost liquid, impossible to move through.

Cas took a deep breath of putrid air and raced through horror after horror in Hell. Screams erupted left and right the further he went… and still no sign of Dean.

He knew the others said Dean was deep in the pit, but he still had no idea where… the longer he stayed in Hell, the greater the chance he wouldn't come out. So he had to hurry.

It seemed like years of rushing through long, nightmarish torture before he finally saw Dean.

There was strange purple light that seemed to be coming from the clouds that surrounded Dean. Giant hooks pierced his skin and held him high above the ground, and he was screaming with blood pouring out of his mouth.

The screams echoed through the large cavernous space and intensified… Cas couldn't hear anything besides the screams…

The Darkness was back. It surrounded Cas and he couldn't see anymore. Everything was vanishing… he was falling.

Cas bolted upright in bed…his loud breathing echoing off the stone walls as Dean's screams had a moment ago in his dream. Cas looked around the Panic Room and found it empty and dark, the only light coming from the digital clock on the nightstand, showing 3:06 AM in blood red numbers.

Cas was sleeping in the Panic Room because the others had said it was best. After Crystal and Cas had come back inside the night before, Cas told Sam, Dean and Bobby about Meg finding him in the bar. No one knows how she knew he was in New York… but she was there… after about an hour, Cas was told it would be safer for him to stay in the Panic Room, since the bad guys now know he's alive. Cas protested… he hated the basement… but after a while, he gave in and slept in the Panic Room.

He slowly stood up and walked over to the door that he left cracked open the night before, he pushed the door completely open until it hit the wall behind it with a loud metallic clank. He sighed out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding as he saw that the basement was also empty…

He walked slowly up the stairs and into Bobby's dark kitchen. He pulled a glass out of one of the cupboards and moved to the sink to get water. His hands were slightly shaky from the nightmare, he tried to steady them… there's no reason to shake… it's not like he's going to Hell again anytime soon... He'd have to die first. But he couldn't help it… what he saw terrified him.

Cas leaned back against the counter, wrapped both hands around the glass and stared out at the darkness of the kitchen without really seeing it. Just 4 days ago he'd been a semi-normal kid who was just trying to get by… it didn't feel like 4 days…

So much had happened… he's learned so much. Most things from the past were still fuzzy… it was too much information to be taken in at once for his human brain. Over the next few weeks, he knew the headaches and the nightmares would be worse… but there's no point in fixating on that now…

He thought back to his grace still sitting down in the panic room… the nightmares and headaches wouldn't happen if he was an angel… it'd be simple… just break the vial containing his grace… But he couldn't. Being an angel sucks… but while he's still a weak human, everyone is in danger… Crystal was already hurt by that Demon Bitch. Next time she could die…

He let Crystal be taken and used as a weapon against him and he hadn't been strong enough to do anything about it… he couldn't let that happen again. But if he was an angel… he wouldn't die at a ripe old age. He'd stay young… while he watched Crystal and Dean and Sam and everyone die around him…

He thought back to Emily. She basically saved his life… and now he'll most likely never see her again.

A yell interrupted his thoughts and caused him to jump and spill the water on the floor… but that doesn't matter. Cas quickly sat the glass down on the counter and rushed to the doorway of the living room to peer inside. Sam was asleep on the couch and appeared to be having a nightmare. He was yelling again and Cas was about to run in and wake him up when the light flicked on and Cas stepped back into the shadow of the kitchen, unseen by whoever turned on the light.

"Sam! Wake up!" Bobby shook Sam and he snapped awake… loud breath filled the room as Sam registered what was going on…

Cas heard him say, "Bobby? What happened?"

Bobby sighed and said, "Just a nightmare, Kid."

"I thought I was back in the cage…" Sam's voice wavered… Cas dared to inch into the light to see what was happening… Sam was sitting on the couch under a blanket, looking wildly around the room and was still breathing pretty heavily; Bobby was just sitting on the opposite end of the couch in a ratty old bath robe, staring at Sam, worry creasing his face.

Sam suddenly stopped moving and looked at Bobby. "It's going to get worse, isn't it?"

Bobby sighed again and got up; going over to his desk and pulling out a large bottle of amber liquid… he poured them both a glass of alcohol and held one out to Sam. "You know what happened with Dean… It gets better if you talk about it…"

Sam drained his glass in one gulp and said, "Yeah…" but said nothing else. Cas moved away from the door… he pulled out a chair from the small table and sat down. He leaned back and remembers back to when… what was her name… Ellen and he sat there not long ago and got drunk… that thought almost made him smile… he looked out the tiny window at the moon… Before he could think, the light in the living room flicked out.

Bobby walked into the kitchen and stopped when he saw Cas just sitting alone in the dark. "What are you doing?" he asked, moving to sit on the other chair… the same one Ellen sat in…

Cas looked up at the older man and sighed, "I woke up, got water, and now I'm sitting." He gestured over his shoulder to where the mostly full glass of water still sat.

Bobby stared at him for a moment before he said, "listen-"

But Cas interrupted him, "It's all my fault."

Bobby sighed and said, "Cas-"

Cas interrupted again. "Dean was only in Hell, Bobby… Sam was in the Cage with Michael and Lucifer! That's not going to get any better with talking. He was just fine with that damn wall in his head." Bobby opened his mouth to speak but Cas wouldn't let him. "But then I just decided to take out the one thing that was going to keep him sane!" Cas fought to control his temper… his voice had risen to almost a yell and he took a deep breath. He smiled darkly… "And it's all my fault…" he leaned back on the chair. "There's nothing I can do to help him in any way."

Bobby stayed silent for a moment before he spoke, "You were a different person."

Cas scoffed and said, "That doesn't matter. I still caused that." He pointed to the living room where Sam had hopefully gone back to sleep.

"Listen." Bobby said, "There's nothing you can do now. You weren't in your right mind… its better for you if you forgive yourself and be there for Sam."

Cas sighed, knowing Bobby wouldn't stop trying to convince Cas it wasn't his fault, even though he knew it was… so he smiled and said, "Thanks, Bobby." He got up and said, "I think I'll go back to sleep now." And he left the room.

He slowly walked back to the Panic Room… lost in thoughts of how to fix his mistake.

Again: Sorry this took so long… I'm hoping the next one won't take nearly the three-four months this did. :(

Please Review because they make me happy and I need a big dose of happy right now.