Nether Worry

Part 3

AU: Minecraft/Red Vs. Blue

Pairing: Agent Washington/Tucker, Caboose/Church, Grif/Simmons

Description: Minecraft AU. In which the Reds and Blues come across a lonely Creative Mode dweller, Sarge makes about ten times more Iron Golems than are strictly necessary, and where Tucker learns that Wash is indeed not a replacement for Church and that may or may not be a bad thing after all.

"What the fuck is that?" Grif asked twenty minutes later, staring down at the massive brown wolf.

Sarge glared at Grif from where he was squatted on the floor of the base, clicking a red leather collar around his new wolf's neck. "It's a wolf, dumbnuts."

Simmons raised an eyebrow at the wolf, looking it over. "What's his name, sir?" He asked, patting it's head after a moment.

"Lopez." Sarge announced, running his fingers through the wolf's fur kindly, smirking when it barked and wagged it's tail.

"He's so cute!" Donut declared, getting on his knees in front of the dog-like pet, looking him over curiously. "I can totally manicure his nails and make him look so cute! Oh man, he needs a cute little bandana around his neck, with cupcakes on it!"

"Stop torturing my dog!" Sarge yelled, hugging the wolf awkwardly, patting it's head. "He's not some fancy pantsy runway poodle; he's a killing machine run on steroids and a boner for murder!"

Grif blinked, not at all intimidated by Sarge's explanation. "He looks kinda dumb." He commented, shrugging at the beast. "I'm more of a cat person to be honest."

"Grif," Sarge began, Lopez growling at his side. "I'm givin' ya ten seconds to run before I let Lopez here do whatever he wants to ya."

That got Grif's attention. "It's not to offend him, I just, you know… BYE!" He burst out the door, screeched as Sarge let go of Lopez, letting the wolf go after him.

The rest of the Red Team watched as Lopez chased Grif around the canyon, barking and growling as Grif rushed towards Blue Base, barely being able to make a stairway onto the roof, breaking it once he was high enough away from the wolf. Lopez sat patiently in the wet grass, tail wagging as he tilted his head; Sarge grinned, knowing it would be a long night for Grif.

"Should we help him?" Simmons asked, giving Grif a very concerned look.

"Naw, I think Lopez has it covered." Donut replied, squinting to see better as he stared out the window beside Simmons.

"No, I mean, maybe we should help Grif," Simmons explained, frowning at the outside world. "I mean, even he doesn't deserve this shit."

Sarge rolled his eyes. "Oh get over it!" He ordered, plopping onto his bed with a groan. "Jus' go ta bed."

Simmons sighed, walking out the door. "Where are you going, Simmons?" Donut asked, furrowing his brow as Simmons headed on outside, just as the rain started again.

Simmons didn't reply, he only walked faster.

Grif was panting loudly as he laid on top Blue Base, screeching whenever a Zombie or Skeleton spawned on there with him, causing him to him kill them in a panic or at least get them off the roof to deal with Lopez, who killed them immediately. Suddenly though, he heard soft thunking, much like someone placing down something wooden. He stared with wide eyes as Simmons more or less crawled onto the roof via ladder, plopping down beside him. The maroon miner didn't say a word as he set down two beds beside each other, setting up tons of torches around them as he did so, making a little monster-safe zone on the Blue Base roof, leaving Grif confused.

"The fuck is this?" Grif asked.

Simmons grabbed Grif's arm, tugging him onto the double bed. "It's called not leaving you out here all night in the rain." He explained, setting up a tiny roof using fences and wooden planks above the bed.

Grif smirked, leaning on Simmons as the two laid down on the bed. "I always knew you digged me." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Grif, we've been dating for three and a half months." Simmons reminded the orange miner, unimpressed by the other man's statement. "Pretty sure I digged you."

"I know; this just means you really love me, like, enough to sleep in the rain with me." Grif explained, wrapping his arms around the other man lazily. "Night, nerd."

"Night, fatass." Simmons replied, yawning as he cuddled up to his boyfriend, ignoring the storm the best he could.

The next morning, the footsteps of a very young miner echoed through the forest, the soft 'whoops' of another creature following them. Eventually, Kaikaina Grif stopped, staring out upon the canyon before her with a grin, Crunchbite teleporting to join her in gazing at the canyon. The young girl giggled, grabbing her Endermen friend's hand as she walked towards the bases inside, stopping to turn and look at him, her colorblindness being the only thing stopping the Endermen from killing her, seeing as the girl couldn't tell what color it's eyes were in the first place.

"I'm gonna go find Dex." Kaikaina explained, hugging Crunchbite softly. "You go find your hero or whatever; see ya soon."

The Endermen teleported away, leaving Kai alone to stare hopefully at Red Base; surely Dex would be there, he loved the color red!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Washington was awake at once, jumping out of bed in a fury before he stood, Stone Sword drawn and ready for combat. Immediately, Tucker slammed the front door shut upon entering, a loud Endermen scream echoing behind him. The aqua miner was whimpering loudly, his whole body shaking nonstop as he held his Diamond Sword to his chest, as if it were a lifeline. Wash softened, seeing Tucker was okay, and walked carefully over to the much younger miner, seeing Tucker yelp aloud when the Endermen outside screamed again, making even Wash shiver; Carolina used to love telling tales of her Survival Mode adventures, including Endermen related ones.

"Tucker, what happened?" Wash asked, looking Tucker over; no injuries, must've been able to outrun it home.

"It saw my sword and fucking lost it, I dunno, but it's gonna kill me!" Tucker explained, panicking wildly. "I never looked at it's eyes, I swear."

Wash nodded, taking a deep breath as he readied his sword… just a few hits and it would be gone… he could manage it. "Stay here." He ordered, moving past Tucker as he readied his sword. "I'll take care of this mess."

Before he could step out though, a loud screech interrupted him from outside, making Wash swallow, eyes going impossibly wide. That had to be Caboose, it had to be. "No, do not hurt him!"

"Caboose?" Tucker called, pressing up against the door carefully, an obvious fear still thrilling his bones. "Why the fuck not, man? That thing is evil! It is literally a spawn of Herobrine… I think."

"He is my friend!" Caboose declared; Wash peeked out the window by the door, seeing that Caboose had his arms wrapped around the Endermen's waist. "He is not an Endermen; he is a Friendermen!"

Washington cursed loudly, shaking his head. "Fuck." He muttered, turning towards the roof ladder. "Tucker, wait here, I'll be back in a few minutes… if I die and York shows up, punch him in the good eye for taking so damn long."

Tucker nodded, watching Wash silently. "Careful, dude; those things are hardcore."

The young Ex-Creative Mode player climbed up onto the roof, the morning sun amazingly enough not spooking the Endermen underground. He shrugged it off, but stopped as he spotted Simmons and Grif, both fast asleep on their roof, appearing to be snuggling. 'I'll worry about it later', He told himself, scooting around the slumbering miners, smiling almost fondly at them as he passed by. At least some people could find happiness in this messed up world. Wash finally reached the end of the roof, where he peeked over the edge, seeing the Endermen screaming at the door as Caboose hugged him, occasionally rubbing his cheek against him to boot.

This couldn't end well.

"Caboose!" Wash called, grabbing both the Endermen and Caboose's attention. 'It won't hurt you' He reminded himself, breathing warily, 'It's locked onto Tucker, not you'. "I need you to let go of him, Caboose!"

"But you will kill him!" Caboose replied, hugging his new friend tighter. Wash was surprised that the Endermen hadn't shooed Caboose away or screamed at him to scare him off; it must've had amazing tolerance level. "He will not hurt people! He is a good Friendermen!"

Wash sighed, rubbing his temple as he closed his eyes, trying to cool down his initial anger towards the situation; it was fine, Caboose just wanted to help it, no harm in that. "Look, we can work something out, Caboose! It doesn't need to be this way." He felt like he was talking to a serial killer who was holding a child hostage.

"Do you promise?" Caboose asked, looking hopeful.

Wash smiled an honest one, nodding at the blue miner. "Of course, Caboose."

"Pinky promise?" Caboose edged on, holding out his pinky to Wash, having to get on his tiptoes to even reach him.

For a beat, Wash considered turning him down, but the Endermen's bright pink eyes flashed, as well as a soft and threatening low screech entering the air; great, the Endermen was on Caboose's side, that couldn't possibly end badly. "Pinky promise." He confirmed, shaking pinky fingers with the younger miner.

He'd regret this, he knew that much.

"Who in Sam Hell are you?" Sarge boomed, glaring down from the top of Red Base at the young, yellow clad miner; she couldn't be older than eighteen or nineteen.

"My name's Kai!" Kaikaina explained, grinning up at the older red miner. "Hey, old guy, you seen my bro? His names Dex!"

"Get off my lawn!" Sarge replied, firing an arrow at the girl's feet; she was unaffected. "I don't know no Dex's!"

Donut popped onto the roof from the ladder, giving Kai a curious look. "Who's she, sir?" He asked, pouting at the young girl.

Sarge shrugged, reloading his bow. "I don't know and I don't care; she's not from here, which means she can't be Red, and if that tall freak she was traveling with went to Blue Base… dear Notch, they've called for reinforcements, those dirty Blues!"

"Hey, pinky!" Kai yelled, catching Donut's attention. "You don't seem like an old jerk; you seen my brother or what?"

"What's he look like?" Donut asked. "And by the way, it's not 'pink', it's lightish red, obviously."

Kai shrugged. "He's kinda fat, and slow, also knowing him he's probably figured out he's hella gay by now; always thought he had to be. Anyways, he's also kinda short, and Hawaiian, guess that's important, he also hates Bats!"

Sarge and Donut only stared at each other, both with equally bored expressions on their faces. "Grif." They deadpanned.

"Okay… so now that we have decided to keep you… you need a real name!" Caboose explained, smiling up at the Endermen sitting politely at their kitchen table. "I vote for Fluffy."

"Fluffy?" Wash repeated, obviously confused. "Why Fluffy?"

"Fluffy; the Friendermen who only loves!" Caboose shouted, making the Endermen almost make a groan, not at all agreeing with the miner.

Tucker was hiding under the table, not trusting that thing to be docile yet. "That's a stupid name!" He yelled, pouting when the Endermen hissed upon hearing his voice. "Oh shut it, you're not helping."

Wash shrugged, sneaking a piece of toast to Tucker, seeing as they were currently having breakfast and the Endermen was making it hard for Tucker to grab some food of his own. "How about something less… demeaning?" He suggested, sipping his apple juice carefully. "How about Seattle?"

"Boo!" Tucker cheered, smacking Wash in the leg, earning a muffled yelp from the receiver. "That's even worse!"

"Alright, smartass," Wash replied, smirking at what he could make out of Tucker. "What do you suggest for him, huh?"

Before Tucker could quite possibly offend the Endermen and his teammates further, Kai charged in, followed by an overly cautious Sarge and a peaceful looking Donut. "Hey!" She yelled, grinning nice and wide. "You seen by bro?"

Wash set his juice down, looking Kai up and down cautiously. "First of all, who are you? Second, why in Notch's name did you just burst into this base like a pig wearing a saddle?" He knew that second part from experience.

"What's with all the questions?" Kai asked, squinting at Wash. "What're you, like a cop or something?"

"I don't even know what a cop is." Wash pointed out, glaring right back at Kai. "I've never been to the city."

"Whatever cop." Kai replied, grinning when she saw Tucker. "Oh, is that your boyfriend?" She asked, crawling under the table to talk with him.

Wash blushed bright red, unable to deny it before Kai was down there, possibly getting into mischief. "I'm hoping you can explain this." He said, pointing his question at Sarge.

Sarge shrugged, bow level with Wash's head; the miner was unmoved by this. "She's lookin' for Grif… you seen that lazy bastard?"

"Sleeping on our roof." Wash explained, pointing his thumb in the general direction of the ladder. "Simmons is there too."

"Got it." Sarge muttered, waltzing on over to the ladder. "Come on, Donut."

Donut shook his head, seating him on the other side of the Endermen. "I think I'll skip, Sarge; this new Blue guy is really interesting!" He explained.

Sarge only shook his head, continuing up the ladder; he'd never understand kids these days with their fancy pancy weapons and crazy obsessions with monsters and idiotic stunts.

"Alright, cuddle puddle is over!" Sarge announced minutes later, tugging the blanket off of Simmons and Grif, who he was happy to see were fully clothed. "Come on, up at at 'em, miners."

"Ugh!" Grif groaned out, using his arm that wasn't wrapped around Simmons to block out the sun efficiently. "Is that sunlight?"

"You bet yer rations it is!" Sarge yelled, grinning at the look of honest distaste on his miner's face; it was looking to be a good day after all. "Now get yer ass up, you got a visitor."

"Better not be another Creeper, because I swear to Notch, Sarge, if you-" Grif was cut off, however, when a nineteen year old girl slammed into him like a fuck train with no breaks.

Simmons awoke with a screech, feeling someone's cold feet smack him in the face. "Goddammit, Grif!" He yelled, squirming away and rolling off of the bed, landing on his ass. "I told you not to touch me with your cold fucking feet!"

Grif, however, was too busy being hugged and kissed on the cheek to hear him, his younger sister being more clutchy than usual. "Kai!?" He finally asked, pulling her away enough to breathe. "What're you doing here? I told you to stay in the Mushroom biome; monsters don't spawn there!"

"Fuck that!" Kai replied, waving her brother's anger off like it was normal, which it probably was for her. "I got bored of mushrooms, they weren't even the fun kind! So, I met this weird Endermen dude who offered to help me find you, and here we are!" She hugged Grif again, smiling brightly.

"Wait, what!?" Grif shouted, pulling her away again. "What Endermen? How did you get here? Where's the cat? Wh-" He was cut off with a sharp slap from Kai to calm him down. "Thank you."

"No problem, Dex." Kai replied, patting him on the head.

"It's not 'Dex' here, it's Grif." Grif explained, stepping off of the bed, Sister stepping off with him. "And we can't call ya Kai since Sarge hates first names… guess we'll call you Sister."

Sister wasn't as impressed. "That's kinda dumb." She pointed out, but was distracted when Tucker, Caboose, Sarge, Wash, and Donut joined them on the roof. "Hey, look, it's Pinky, Cop, Tall Blue Guy, Old Jerk, and Pencil Dick!"

Tucker groaned. "It's Tucker." He repeated for what must've been the millionth time that morning.

Sister brushed it off. "Whatever." She grabbed Grif's arm, leading him towards the ladder. "Man, have I got a story to tell!" She announced, leading the way in what was definitely going to be one Hell of an adventure. "You guys are gonna love it!"

A/N: Please R&R!

~CabooseHeart.