Chapter 8 - Jealous Incorporated

N…

NO…

NO M…

NO MO…

NO MOR…

NO MORE.

The man who used to call himself the Doctor blasted the letters into the wall with such ferocity and fervour he envisioned blasting a Dalek apart with each pull of his trigger. The words he'd carved seemed to be convulsing in front of his eyes - screaming. The screams of the children he was about to murder.

The moment he thought about them, their faces flooded his head. The children he'd seen in the streets playing together, all staring at him, begging not to die…

"You killed them," his own voice told him. "Your murdered those people. All those people…"

"I…"

"All those children are dead because of you."

"There…"

"Including your…"

"Stop!" the Doctor suddenly yelled, throwing out his hand only to find it was dripping with dark, fierce blood. He watched, mesmerised, as a single drop formed at the end of his fingertip, bulging and contorting before it fell, as if in slow-motion, to the ground. As it smashed into the rock it exploded like the bombs he'd been using to decimate cities, shards of concrete exploding out as the drop billowed into a blood red mushroom before finally resting on the ground. Then it began to run in rivets despite the flat surface, billowing out and seeping up over his converse until he was standing three-inches deep in a puddle of blood.

He looked up and saw a little Gallifreyan girl standing there, her skin pale, her eyes hollow and a vacant, terrifying expression.

"You killed me," she whispered between bloody lips.

"I know," he croaked.

"You murdered me."

"I know… Please forgive me," he croaked.

"Nobody will ever forgive you!" she suddenly screamed, so loudly his eardrums almost burst. "Murderer!"

The Doctor snapped awake with a strangled yell. For a moment he panicked, not knowing where he was until he registered the now familiar medical office.

He was lying awkwardly, tangled in the bedsheets with sweat lining his forehead. He felt compelled to check his hands, but they were perfectly clean and dry, as they would be.

For a moment he just lay there, breathing steadily with his eyes tightly closed. He forced the air in and out of his lungs, commanding himself to calm down as he could feel his hearts doing a double Charleston inside his ribs. He hadn't dreamt that vividly for a very long time, and it was terrifying.

How had he fallen asleep?

He wasn't doing that again.

He forced himself up, rubbing fiercely at his temples. There was no sign of Rose. He was trying not to panic.

He got up, hopping to the chair and dropping into it. He then got up again, and moved back to sit on the bed restlessly. He needed to occupy himself; stop thinking about the dream. Trouble was, there was nothing to do...

"You murdered me."

The voice circled continuously around his head. The image of the little Gallifreyan girl caked in blood wouldn't get out. He impulsively hit his head with his fist in a futile attempt to force her out but she remained resolutely inside, gazing at him in his mind's eye with those cold, dead eyes...

"I'm sorry," the Doctor breathed, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm sorry…"

No, he quickly told himself. This was ridiculous. She was an image conjured up by his mind, nothing more.

Before he could drive himself mad the door suddenly opened Rose came bounding in, engulfing him in a hug before he could process it.

"All right?" he asked quickly, holding her a little tighter than usual. He subtly checked her up and down but she was unscathed.

"This guy attacked me," she told him. "But John shot him."

"He's dead?"

"Yeah."

The Doctor nodded slowly, not letting go of her as she wasn't letting go of him. "And you're okay?"

"Yeah," she confirmed, finally pulling back to look at him fully. "Are you okay?"

He flashed a perfect grin. "I'm always okay," he assured her.

"Then why do you look like you've seen a ghost?"

"Leg hurts," he lied.

She quickly pulled off her rucksack and pulled out a painkiller, administering it in a highly swift and professional way. "Better?" she asked.

He beamed. "Not in training anymore, are you?"

"Don't tell Jack that," she replied, wincing.

He laughed. She laughed. But there was something innately polite about it, made even more awkward by the lengthy pause that followed.

"... But you're really okay?" the Doctor ventured.

She paused, all the laughter and smiles gone. "... He shot him right through the head... I looked. There was a hole… He was just staring up…"

He drew her into a hug again. "It's okay," he assured her, but she resisted, pulling away and covering her face. She made some quiet comments that she needed the toilet, but he didn't let go. "It's okay," he said again. "Cry into me. Don't hide."

She sniffed, and eventually gave in, burying her head in his chest. Then he held her as she cried, a combination of shock, fear and utter despair all rolled into one currently spilling all over his jacket. But he welcomed it. She needed this. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. While they were here, she just needed to know that she wasn't alone.

When she had finished she pulled back, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve and consequently getting her mascara everywhere. She forced a smile at him, and he grinned in return.

"Can't believe I nearly died," she confessed, still holding onto his arms tightly. "I mean… I know we've nearly died loads of times before but this time… you weren't with me. His gun was in my face, my life flashed in front of me… Like seriously, I actually did that."

"I know."

"Please heal quicker," she begged, indicating his leg.

"I'll try," he replied.

"Cos I don't think I can stand this place much longer."

"I know," he said again. "Me neither. I'm sorry."

"I dunno what I would've done if John wasn't there," she muttered, putting her head to his chest again.

He stayed silent, just holding her. Several silent seconds passed before he took a breath, and spoke once more. "Are you hungry?"

"Starvin'," she confessed.

He got up onto his one good leg, offering a hand up. "Let's eat out."

They were back in the mess. Rose had retrieved them the red meat this time, and now they were sat in the silence, surrounded by tens of other soldiers all eating in silence.

"This is so wrong," Rose moaned.

The Doctor nodded slowly, looking around. He spotted John near the door and immediately tried to look away, but John had already caught his eye. John smiled and moved to them immediately, leaning over.

"Quiet in here, isn't it?" he said loudly.

The Doctor watched closely as Rose giggled. She was gazing up at John, her eyes shining. "Yeah, it is."

"Why's everyone so miserable?" he jested, bowed courteously to Rose. "You okay, Rose?"

She nodded, her face suddenly turning very solemn. "Yeah. Thanks."

"You're very welcome," he said, and looked at the Doctor. The Time Lord didn't need anymore prompting than that.

"Thanks," he muttered, and turned his attention back to his food.

John slapped him on the arm. "Come on, give us a smile. I know this place is miserable but that doesn't mean you have to join in."

The Doctor quickly gave him a grin - completely false of course, but anything to make him go away.

"What a beautiful smile!" John said, beaming and glancing at Rose, who laughed. "I'd better be off, enjoy your dinner. If you can call it that, it's a bit of a stretch."

He walked off, Rose giggling again, she looked at the Doctor.

"Okay, what is it?" she asked lowly so other couldn't eavesdrop.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Every time you see him you get all defensive," Rose said.

"It's just…" he paused, sighing. "Be careful."

"What?"

"Be careful around him."

"What? Why?" she asked.

"There's something about him."

"You think he's dodgy?"

"Maybe."

She frowned. "Doctor, he saved my life," she reiterated.

"I know, but there's something not right about him. Just don't trust him too much."

"But he saved my life!" Rose insisted, exasperated. She was clearly becoming a bit annoyed.

"I know," he said hastily, hands in the air. "But-"

"Hold on," she said, her eyes narrowed. "He didn't have to save me but he did. I owe him my life. You owe him my life."

"I know but look, I don't think he's what he seems."

Rose gazed at him for a long while in silence before her eyes suddenly widened and her jaw dropped. "Oh my god."

"What?"

"You're jealous."

"What!?"

"You're actually jealous of him."

"Don't be ridiculous," the Doctor replied immediately, his hearts suddenly doing a Charleston.

"You are," she said. "You've gone red."

"I'm not jealous!" he insisted. Their quiet conversation had now turned into a full-blown argument as he could see all the soldiers staring at them.

"He saved my life and it's normally you who does that, so now you're jealous it wasn't you!" she realised.

"Rose!" he cried, then quickly dropped his voice as he saw the other soldiers out of the corner of his eye. "I'm not jealous. I'm happy he was there to save you. But just… don't trust him."

"Why not?" she wanted to know. "Where's your proof?"

The Doctor opened his mouth to reply, but quickly realised he had nothing to say to that.

She smirked at his silence. "Exactly, you don't have any," she surmised.

"Please, Rose…"

"I'm not listenin' to this," she snapped, getting up. "Come back to me when you're not a teenager."

She stormed off out of the door, leaving the Doctor sitting there with everyone staring at him.

He ignored the staring soldiers, got up, and limped out of the door straight back to the medical office. She wasn't there.

He dropped onto the bed, head in his hands. If his leg wasn't broken he would have kicked himself. Of course Rose would defend John; the man had just saved her life. What a stupid time to bring that up.

Him? Jealous? Well, maybe a little. Just a tad. But that wasn't the reason not to trust John. John had saved Rose's life and that was all that mattered. But there was something about him; some sort of dark, black streak running straight through the apparently charismatic man. The Doctor was sure of it. Well, half sure. Sort of sure.

Okay. So he wasn't sure at all.

And now Rose was gone. Probably straight to John.

He groaned, covered his head and started planning what he was going to say when he saw Rose again.

Five hours later, and the Doctor was doing his medical rounds in the ward. He hadn't seen Rose at all. He'd considered going to find her, but clearly she was now safe in here with the brother dead and she probably didn't want to talk to him anyway.

He'd let her roam.

When someone entered he looked up, but to his surprise saw John standing there, smiling at him. The Doctor got up and half-hopped, half-limped to John.

"Can I have a word?" John wondered.

Be nice, the Doctor decided.

"Of course," the Time Lord replied with a beaming smile. John nodded and led him into the medical office, shutting the door behind him.

"Look, maybe we got off on the wrong foot," John said.

"Probably," the Doctor muttered.

"She told me everything," John said.

The Doctor frowned. "Everything?"

"About you two and how you got here."

The Doctor gazed at him for a long moment. "I don't believe you."

"So there is something you're not saying," John concluded, beaming.

"Where's Rose?"

"Sleeping off the sex."

The Doctor's eyebrows lowered as his blood pressure immediately rose. "I don't believe you," he repeated.

"All right," John conceded, shrugging. "She's in the mess, finishing off dinner."

"Thank you," the Doctor said, and left John in the medical office.

He went straight to the mess and saw her, sitting at a table surrounded by soldiers all trying to chat her up. She was looking decidedly uncomfortable.

He swept in immediately. The moment the soldiers caught sight of him they all huffed a sigh and got up, leaving Rose alone.

"You okay?" he asked quickly, sitting down.

She just nodded.

"Rose, I'm sorry."

"Are you?" she asked vaguely.

"You're right, I was jealous, I'm sorry. I was immature and petulant," he said. He was lying of course, but he'd have to say exactly what she wanted to hear in order to get her back by his side. She was straying a little too far for his liking.

It seemed to work, as she suddenly grinned. "So you were jealous."

"Completely," he insisted. "Like a Jeremy Kyle guest."

She laughed at that. "I'm sorry for stormin' off."

"You had every right. I just had a chat with John," he continued. "We've decided to start fresh."

She nodded.

"... Were you with him this afternoon?" the Doctor suddenly asked.

She nodded for the third time.

"Okay," he muttered, trying not to think about what John had inferred. "I'm sorry. Again."

She smiled and put her fork down, reaching forward to take his hands, gazing into his eyes. "It's okay," she said. "I just love that you admitted to being jealous."

"That was me. Mr Jealous of Jealous Incorporated," the Doctor joked, grinning before looking down at her plate. "You finished?"

"Yeah," she said, getting up. She moved around to help him up, the both of them going back to the medical office.

"I've been thinkin'," Rose was saying through the door of the bathroom where she was getting changed for bed.

"Don't strain yourself," he joked, taking a sip of water and lying back on the bed. "What?"

She entered the room, rolling her eyes at him. "Thanks. Yeah, I thought we could do somethin' to help morale."

"Hmm?"

"Like some sort of communal thing."

"Like what?"

"Like Bingo or somethin'."

"Bingo?" he repeated, smirking slightly and pulling back the covers for her.

She playfully hit him on the arm as she sat on the bed beside him, taking off her earrings. "You know what I mean. Somethin' like that so everyone can take part."

The Doctor mused on that for a moment. "How about a Christmas quiz?"

"Christmas?" Rose repeated, confused. "When's Christmas?"

"In a week," the Doctor replied.

"Oh," she realised, lying down next to him. "Yeah, we could do that then."

He looked at her, grinning. "Okay," he said. "You're on."

"You do the questions and I'll do the promo, yeah?" she said, snuggling under the duvet and hugging his arm as she usually did for a replacement teddy bear. "I've got a feelin' they'd pay more attention to me than you."

"Probably," the Doctor mused, readjusting to face her, his head on the pillow. "And look, I really am sorry about today."

"I know," she said. "It's okay. Besides, I ain't stormin' off again. I get a bit too much attention on my own. Don't leave me alone, okay?"

"Never," he replied.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She smiled at him, almost hidden beneath all her hair. "Good night," she said.

"Good night," he replied, and pretended to close his eyes. He waited about ten minutes before her even, heavy breathing began and he opened his eyes again, just gazing at her face.

Had she slept with John?

He subtly got out his sonic and gave her a quick buzz. There was no indication of any fertilisation, so at least if she had she wasn't pregnant as a result.

She was only human. John was good looking and had saved her life. Was she that close to him?

The most awkward realisation was that it was really none of his business either way. He sighed, put his sonic back and gazed at her for a moment longer.

Suddenly he jerked awake, abruptly realising he'd briefly fallen asleep. No. He wasn't sleeping. He frantically blinked repeatedly, but tiredness was overtaking him. He tried to sit up but it was as though his body was forcing him to fall asleep. He struggled to sit up again, but he couldn't, his entire body suddenly almost dead. All he could see was the glass of water he'd drank from sitting on the table. In the low light he could see the rim shining unusually brightly…

Who'd been in here?

John, he realised. It had to be John. He must have coated the rim of the glass in something when he'd left him…

"Rose," he tried to say, but he couldn't even get the word out. He now couldn't even move. "Ro…"

He could do nothing but breathe as he fell unconscious.