Nether Worry
Part 4
Pairing: Agent Washington/Tucker, Caboose/Church, Grif/Simmons
Description: In which the Reds and Blues come across a lonely Creative Mode dweller, Sarge makes about ten times more Iron Golems than are strictly necessary, and where Tucker learns that Wash is indeed not a replacement for Church and that may or may not be a bad thing after all.
A/N: Removed the story from the from the crossover stuff so people can actually find it, hope nobody minds! Updates on Fridays, starting tomorrow!
"Wait wait wait, so you're telling us... you swam all the way from a huge mushroom island, hitched a ride with some horse owner who you later fucked, lasted ten days in a desert without any food what-so-ever, met an Endermen who you could magically understand who wouldn't kill you because you're color blind, went on a huge month long adventure through underground caves, then popped up in a village, fucked half the villagers, and ended up in Blood Gulch!?" Wash asked, looking Sister up and down carefully.
"Yep, pretty neat, huh?" Sister asked, grinning happily as she sat on one of the beds in Blue Base. "It was, like, so boring underground though; everybody kept getting up in my face like 'I'm a Skeleton'. It's like, yeah, I'm kinda aware of that, thanks; then I'd shiv them with my Hoe-."
"Wait, what!?" Simmons squeaked out, eyes wide, mouth agape as he stared at the girl who could not possibly be related to his fatass boyfriend.
"Yeah, right? Those guys were such assholes!" Sister stated matter-of-factly, nodding to the miners surrounding her. "But I'm okay; Crunchbite got into a few scraps, but no biggie."
Grif groaned, shaking his head. "Great, just great; my sister is in the middle of what is most likely the worst place on Earth and I can't do shit about it. I told you to stay on the island, Kai!"
Sister rolled her eyes, glaring at Grif. "But you never came back, Dex! Look, I waited for a long time, and nobody ever showed up; I had to eat the cows there, Grif. Those cows only tasted like mushrooms; everything tasted like shitty mushrooms! So I did what I had to do, you can at least act like you missed me!"
"Of course I did; I was worried sick, but I couldn't just up and leave!" Grif sighed, looking away from his younger sister. "Look, I'm sorry I kinda ditched you, but I kinda... got attached to people here; it's complicated. Anyway, I'm glad you're safe, I can sleep easier now-"
"You had trouble sleeping?" Donut questioned, not looking convinced. "You were out in ten seconds almost every night!"
Sister gasped, suddenly tackle-hugging Grif, grinning as she did so. "You did miss me!" She squealed, laughing loudly. "You never take that long to fall asleep at night!"
Sarge stared, looking both amused and angry. "I have no idea what I'm even lookin' at anymore." He stated, turning towards the door. "Come on, men. Grif, grab yer sister and let's skedaddle!"
Grif nodded, grasping Sister's arm. "Come on, Kai." He ordered, heading for the door at a faster pace than usual.
"Wait..." Sister forced Grif to let go, backing away to stand beside the Blues. "Maybe I could... stay here?" She suggested.
"Wait, what!?" Both Washington and Sarge yelled at the same time, staring at the hazel haired girl wildly.
"Well, Red Team's already got a ton of dudes..." Sister trailed off again.
"We literally have an always tired fatass, an unappreciated genius, a possibly insane ex-underground miner nutcase, the most girly man on Earth who we're still betting is gay as fuck, and a brown wolf demon bent on killing everybody but Sarge, but I still think that thing might go traitor on him soon." Simmons explained, looking his own team over as he spoke. "Why would you join Blue Team?"
"Because we have a psychopath Creative Mode cat-lover, a complete idiot who's never once died, an amazingly attractive warrior, and a cat who hates everyone. You have one more guy than us." Tucker pointed out, crossing his arms. "Besides, Donut is already the girl for your team."
Sarge glared at Tucker, re-loading his bow. "You'll be down another if ya don't release the prisoner!"
"What prisoner!?" Wash screeched, his voice going up an octave. "I'm not even sure if anyone here is sane anymore; let's all just drop it and vote!"
"But they'll all vote for Sister to join them!" Tucker yelled.
"Epsilon can't vote though..." Donut stated.
"Well neither can your freak demon dog!" Sister yelled, hands on her hips.
Caboose tisked at them all. "Not very Democratic..." He said, looking disappointed. "Everybody has the right to vote; it is the law."
"Maybe on the moon it is!" Tucker screamed, seeing as he could barely be heard over the continued arguing of Red Team.
"Everyone just calm down!" Wash yelled, but his yelling was unheard in the chaos of Blue Base, especially as arrows started being shot through the air. "Fuck, watch it!"
"Give her up!" Sarge ordered, yanking out his sword and jumping Wash, getting ready to kill him.
Tucker immediately tackled Sarge, his Diamond Sword swinging. "Get off of him, dumbass! He only has two lives left!"
"Stay outta this you-"
"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Everyone went still, shivering so violently that their heads hurt. Sister was the first to look up (The only one) at Crunchbite, giving him an honestly sorry look. "Okay... okay, let's all calm it..." She suggested, backing off from Donut and the rest of Red Team.
The Reds and Blues were all sprawled out wildly; Wash was still flat on his back on the floor, Simmons was looking ready to stab Caboose with Grif's help, Caboose was holding up both Grif and Simmons by the back's of their chest armor, Donut and Sister looked ready to start sword fighting, and Tucker had Sarge pinned to the floor with a Diamond Sword at his throat. They all separated slowly, mumbling apologizes and small threats, until they were all on separate ends of the room, Red versus Blue once more. Crunchbite was staring down at them all, looking ready to murder at even the slightest provocation. Wash was the first to speak, seeing as he was the least belonging to the Reds and Blues (Besides Sister).
"I think that's enough." Wash said, breathing heavily still, adrenaline running sharply through his veins. "We need to stop before someone gets hurt."
"Fine." Sarge snapped it out so bitterly... the next few days would be tense for sure.
"I'm staying here." Sister stated, looping an arm around Crunchbite. "And so is he; he's got shit to do and all that."
Grif looked ready to protest, but a tiny growl/hiss stopped him, making him back away a step. "Alright then... but you keep outta fights, okay?"
"Can't promise that." Sister replied, a smile appearing on her face again; it brought in a little more sunlight, bleeding away alot of the tension.
Tucker grinned, grabbing Sister's arm somewhat gently and pulling her closer to himself. "Don't worry baby, I'll protect you."
"Yeah, that's what the last guy said, and I'm still scratching!" Sister explained excitedly, no shame what-so-ever.
"Wait, what?" Tucker asked, but could only laugh with Sister as she began to, holding his sides as he did so.
Wash watched, just a bit of jealousy filling his head; why should he even be jealous, it's not like he'd like to make Tucker laugh that way! No, he wasn't jealous, he didn't care at all; he was supposed to just make himself useful until his friends found him... no need to get attached or anything. The grey miner walked away slowly, after the Reds had left, and kept to himself that day with the excuse of hunting.
He wasn't jealous.
He didn't care.
...
Sister and Tucker started going at it after three days.
Washington pretended he didn't notice.
...
"Hey, cop guy!" Sister yelled a few days later, walking up to Wash.
Washington had been practicing his bow and arrow skills that morning when Sister showed up, to which he began ignoring her once again, pretending he hadn't even heard her. "Oh come on, cop! What did I do to you?" Sister asked, looking the man over. "Did I piss you off or something?"
"Why'd you join Blue Team?" Wash asked suddenly, not looking up from where he was fixing up a few arrows. "Your brother is on Red Team; seems only reasonable that you'd join him."
"Well... it's complicated; sibling stuff, ya know?" Sister explained, taking a seat on a dirt block beside Wash, watching what he was doing from over his shoulder. "Besides... pretty sure none of the guys on Red Team are exactly great fuck-buddies; the old guy is old and gross, my bro is dating that one nerd guy, pinky is kinda... well I'm not gonna even ask, and then there's a dog."
Wash nodded, eyes fixated on the ground; if Carolina or Maine were around, they'd accuse him of being childish. "I guess I could understand that." He muttered aloud, finally looking up at Sister, grey/blue eyes meeting bright browns. "I have a sister of my own."
Sister was suddenly laying on her stomach on the block, eyes trained on Wash. "Oooooooooooh, gossip, hm?"
"No," Wash replied, stuffing the now fixed arrows away into his inventory. "It's not gossip, it's just... my sister."
"Older or younger?" Sister asked, smiling as she pulled out bread from her own inventory, tossing a piece to Wash.
Wash caught the bread with ease, taking a small bite, copying after Sister. "Older." He stated, sighing around his snack. "Her name is Carol."
"That's a cute name, is she hot?" Sister asked at once; right to the point it seemed.
"She's too old for you; also, she's already in a relationship with one of our other friends." Wash explained, finishing quickly, taking a seat beside Sister.
"Boo," Sister muttered sadly, staring at the ground. "So... where is she now? She still around or is she dead?"
Wash shrugged, looking away. "No idea," He admitted, sighing deeply. "I got separated from my friends a few months ago... I still have no idea where the Hell they even are."
"Why don't you go find them?" Sister questioned. "I mean, that's what I did, and I even found my bro!"
"Well, it's not that simple." Wash said, sitting up slightly. "You see, I'm from Creative Mode; people in Creative Mode are more or less invincible to everything, but... I turned mine off. I'm not sure how my friend Wyoming managed it, but he helped me turn it off, just like he did when Florida wanted to travel the world as a free spirit. Anyway, I was only doing it to get an Achievement... but I got killed, so now I only have two lives left and my friends are probably looking everywhere for me." He looked away, his brow furrowing. "Sorry if I'm talking too much..."
Sister was quiet for a long time, legs swinging as she hummed, Wash not saying a word as she did so. Finally, Sister spoke up, this time with a gentleness in her voice. "Sorry I started fucking Tucker."
Wash's eyes went wide, looking Sister over, as if she were a Zombie or something. "Wait, what?"
"Sorry I'm fucking the guy you're into." Sister repeated, smiling honestly at the much older man. "I just wanted to be with someone I guess; I'll back off if you want."
"Uh..." Wash couldn't really come up with a reply to that, seeing as he was still trying to figure out how Sister had known in the first place. "You don't... I guess-"
"Dude," Sister interrupted, placing her hand securely over Wash's mouth. "I get it, you're still all-" She waved her hands in the air a bit, trying not to laugh. "-Figuring it out. I'll still back off a bit though... you know, give you some room to make a move."
Wash nodded, a pleasant sigh leaving his mouth for once. "Thanks, I guess." He replied, scratching the back of his head.
Sister patted him on the back, still smiling. "No problem, dude. No problem."
...
Tucker and Sister stopped having sex; nothing changed besides a lack of noise at night and kisses in the morning.
Wash pretended he didn't feel guilty when Tucker seemed sadder.
...
"You're leaving?" Wash asked.
A half month had passed, when things were finally calm again, when Tucker has been spending less time with Kai, when Lopez stopped growling all night at Grif, when Kai and Grif seemed to get over their old arguments; things were finally not exploding or going wrong, just the way Wash liked them. Tucker had a backpack on, Caboose chattering endlessly behind him to Sister and Crunchbite about something involving parties and wizards. The darker skinned man looked almost... regretful, yet a bit excited.
"Only for a bit." He promised, securing his pack more. "I'd bring you, but I'm not risking your life in some sorta adventure."
Wash nodded, pretending that his lack of lives didn't bother him. "It'll only be a little while, right?"
"Of course," Tucker said, as if Wash should've known that from minute one. "I'm not gonna be an asshole and not come back."
"I know," Wash assured Tucker, nodding at the ground. "I'm just worried is all, not like you have unlimited lives or anything."
"Dude," The way Tucker said it implied to Wash that he was about to be sarcastic. "We're bringing Caboose, the same moron whose never lost a life before; we'll be fine."
Wash only nodded, keeping his eyes on the floor before glancing back up, smiling a bit. "See you when you get back then..."
Tucker smiled, nodding back at Wash. "It'll only be a few weeks at the most; I just gotta go be some big hero to the Endermen or something, then I'll be back!"
None-the-less, Wash doubted Tucker would be fine upon getting back, but then again, he doubted alot of things.
'Tucker will be fine', Wash assured himself, sighing deeply, 'He's an adult, he'll be okay.'
...
It was quiet at Blue Base, deathly so.
Wash stayed at Red Base after three days; Sarge pretended he minded.
...
"They should've come back by now." Washington muttered one morning, staring out the window, as he usually did in the mornings. "They could've gotten killed out there."
"Calm down, Romeo." Grif replied, laying back in his chair at the table, feet propped up. "Sarge promised he'd yell if he saw them coming, just... I dunno, relax I guess, if that's even possible for you..."
"I can assure you, it is." Wash explained, turning away from the window, sighing deeply. "I just worry alot; 'Lina used to say that I'd get gray hair if I kept it up."
"Who the fuck is 'Lina?" Grif asked, sitting up, feet smacking the wooden floor with an audible 'thump'. "She one of your Creative Mode pals?"
Wash nodded, pushing his leftover breakfast to Grif, if only to insure the other would stay. "Yeah, she's the oldest out of us, except maybe Maine, but... we don't have proof? I dunno, it's complicated; Maine is a giant yet he might only be barely older than me and 'Lina is the oldest, that's all I know."
Grif hummed, munching on the bread and apple Wash had given him. "They seem nice; you talk about those two alot, but what about those other guys, what're they like?"
Wash shrugged, putting his feet up on the table, much like Grif had done. "Well, there are a few other guys... there's Connie, North, South, Wyoming, Florida, York... I think that's everyone. Wait, right, there's also 479er, but she's been traveling lately but pops by often enough."
"They seem cool." Grif stated.
"They're good people." Wash agreed, rocking his chair a bit, biting his lip whenever he wobbled a little too much. "Sure they're having a blast wherever they are..."
Grif nodded in agreement. "I'm sure they're looking for ya, they're just... late I guess, kinda like Sister. I mean, you remember that one time you told Sister that that 'Lina chick was your sis?"
"Ye- wait, how-"
"It's a sibling thing." Grif promised, waving the other man off quickly. "Well, if she's as over-protective as me or my sister, she's been busting her ass looking for ya, so be fucking patient."
Wash stared at Grif, then nodded, sighing to himself. "I still wish I knew how they were doing though, it's still kinda weird not knowing if they're okay or not."
"Well-" Grif was cut off, suddenly grinning as he stared behind Wash, out the window. "Dude... Wash, turn around."
"Why?" Wash asked, raising an eyebrow at Grif curiously. "What's behind me? Is it Simmons? Are you guys trying to prank me again?"
Grif shook his head, still smirking. "No way, just look!"
With a roll of his eyes, Wash looked behind himself, eyes widening as he saw Tucker on the other side of the window, grinning wide at the gray miner. Wash yelped as he fell out of his chair in an attempt to run to the window, flailing on the floor before standing, facing the window. Tucker put his hand on the window, Wash putting his over Tucker's, both laughing their asses off at the inside joke. Grif chuckled behind him, but Wash ignored the orange miner, instead, he broke the window, mentally noting to fix it later, and crawled out the small space, laughing as Tucker yanking him the rest of the way out, hugging the older man.
"Told you I'd be back." Tucker muttered, chuckling against Wash's neck. "I bet you were all depressed without me around."
"As if!" Wash yelled, smacking Tucker on the head, internally reminding himself to pay off the Reds somehow to keep quiet about his minor depression. "How was the quest?"
Tucker deflated a bit, groaning. "Boring as fuck!" He told Wash, shaking his head. "We hardly did anything but walk a million miles, Hell, I didn't even lose a life!"
"How is that a bad thing?" Wash asked, grabbing Tucker and leading him towards Blue Base. "Come on, you can tell me all about it."
A/N: Next chapter will mostly be about how Tucker, Caboose, Crunchbite, Epsilon, and Sister's adventure went over! Thanks for reading!
~CabooseHeart.