Nether Worry

Part 5

Pairing: Agent Washington/Tucker, Caboose/Church, Grif/Simmons

Description: In which the Reds and Blues come across a lonely Creative Mode dweller, Sarge makes about ten times more Iron Golems than are strictly necessary, and where Tucker learns that Wash is indeed not a replacement for Church and that may or may not be a bad thing after all.

A/N: Would love if y'all refused, and I'm sorry that I forgot to update on Friday! Love ya! Please R&R!

Three miners, a cat, and an Endermen all trudged silently through the large Field biome, and by silently, we of course mean loudly. Crunchbite seemed to be rather busy explaining something to Sister, who in return tried to keep up in listening to his scrambled words that must've somehow been called a language in his culture, Caboose was chatting idly to himself about something involving how Simmons would be jealous of his 'Real Life' role playing game adventure, Tucker was hanging off in the back looking bored as all Hell, and Epsilon had his ears folded downwards as he trotted beside Caboose, looking to be ignoring the blue miner. Suddenly, Sister stopped, making everyone behind her catch up before she turned around, smiling.

"Hey, so, Crunchbite's been telling me everything we might encounter. The legend's pretty old, but the details are pretty clear." Sister explained simply, nodding sideways at Crunchbite.

"Um, Miss Church's Sister?" Caboose asked, holding up his hand like a school student, brow furrowed in worry. "Will we be killing anybody on our adventure?"

Tucker gave Caboose an almost exasperated look. "Dude, this is the world of… whatever; there are always gonna be monsters to kill."

"Yes, but will we encounter a Warlock?" Caboose questioned, as if he were asking of God's whereabouts. "I do not have enough potions to fight one yet; we need to find more loot, and more dice."

Sister nodded, grinning at Caboose. "You got it, man!" She promised, giving him a thumbs up. "I promise you if we find any, you get first dibs!"

Caboose seemed pleased with that, giving Tucker another chance to speak. "So, why did we stop again? Are we finally here?"

Sister shook her head, pointing behind herself. "These are the Great Burning Plains." She explained, pulling out her map. "According to Crunchbite, we're supposed to fight some sorta monster here…"

"Burning Plains? They do not look on fire… only burnt." Caboose stated, giving the field a very unimpressed look.

Sister shrugged nonchalantly. "Eh, blame God, that's what I always say when shit doesn't make sense, like when Chickens look like Ducks."

"Wait, a monster?" Tucker asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "It's broad daylight; nothing can spawn in daylight… 'cept you, Crunch."

"It's a special kinda monster; regular ones aren't important enough in this to actually be the villain or whatever." Sister told them, stuffing her map away to pull out a strange soot colored skull. "This is a Wither Skull."

Tucker gave it an odd look, accepting it whenever Sister handed it to him. "What's a Wither Skull? It some sorta burned Skeleton?"

"Kinda," Sister explained, taking it back as she looked over it almost fondly. "The lure behind them is kinda sketchy-"

"-Sketchy like my last marriage, bow chicka bow wow!"

Sister laughed outright, shook her head, then continued on in her explanation. "Anyway, these Wither dudes are kinda… sketchy, like I mentioned. No one's really sure how they came around. Just think of them as that one dude at the frat party that nobody knows but doesn't have the heart to kick out."

Caboose seemed even more confused. "Ya know, maybe we do not have the full picture; maybe they are simply misunderstood creatures who only seek to find an end to their never ending torment by ripping away the lives of those around them, when in actuality they crave the love and affection they so rightly deserve… or they just showed up like flowers in a 12w36a update."

Everyone simply stared at Caboose, not knowing how to react. "… So anyway, we're gonna summon a Wither." Sister deadpanned.

"Wait, what!?" Tucker yelled, hands immediately clamping onto his helmet in fear. "We don't even know what it is!"

"Yeah, that's what makes it fun!" Sister explained, setting up a few strange sand-like blocks that Tucker didn't recognize, as well as three Wither skulls on it. "Better run, bitch!"

The party did not need to be told twice.

In a matter of seconds, a strange snake-like mob with purely white eyes appeared, flashing white as it began to recharge it's health. Tucker immediately went running, attempting to get as far away from that fucking monstrosity as he could, pulling out his sword as he ducked into a tiny trench. In a matter of minutes, loud explosions filled the air, followed by a screaming Caboose and a hissing Epsilon crashing into the trench beside Tucker, eyes wide and probably scarred for life. The darker man whimpered, mentally telling himself to get Sister back for this one.

"Oh, yeah, Crunchbite says it can't get hurt from Lava!" Sister suddenly shouted, making another explosion follow. "Hey, watch it, asshole!"

In a rare moment of courage (Maybe only caused because Tucker knew Sister only had a Golden Hoe for a weapon), Tucker flipped out of the trench, eyes wide as he got a much better look at the creature. It was now tinted a strangely bluer color, eyes still terrifyingly white, and it immediately whooshed around, as if staring into Tucker's soul. The man froze, adrenaline not yet taking over his limbs, and he almost considered running. He suddenly held his ground, angling his feet to dodge when ready as he prepared his sword, glaring heatedly at the Wither. It opened it's mouth, a blue skull in it slowly forming; time seemed to slow down, Tucker planning his next attack carefully.

"Yo, bitch!" Tucker shouted, just as the Wither blasted the Wither Skull at him. "Batter up!"

The teal miner swung the sword just right, back-firing the skull to bounce off his sword and smash straight into the Wither, causing a mind numbing explosion. Tucker was tossed away, his time briefly flying through the air reminding him of the night he 'met' Wash (More like saw him unconscious) before landing roughly a few feet away. The man groaned loudly, much like a Zombie, and squirmed on the ground, his head killing him before a much worse pain took over and shook his body violently. Sister, Crunchbite, Epsilon, and Caboose soon towered above him, their voices muted as they talked, mouths moving but nothing registering to the downed miner,

Just before Tucker passed out, he could've sworn someone had said something about 'Catching Wither', but he couldn't be sure.

"Holy shit, is he gonna die?"

"Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Oh, so is he gonna be 'Undead'? That would be awesome!"

"Scree scree scree!"

"Ugh, you are just no fun, man! I swear, we gotta get you capital 'L' laid! I mean, maybe it'll force that fucking pole outta your ass, ya know?"

"Scree scree scree scree!"

"Oh, well, sorry then, didn't know that was so offensive to ya… wait, I think he's waking up!"

Tucker opened his eyes with a slight hiss, regretting it almost immediately, everything still a blurry mass of pain tingling like ice sickles through his nervous system. "Oh… what happened?" He moaned out, squinting at Sister. "Am I dead? 'Cus I always wanted to bone an angel, bow chicka-"

"Tucker!" Caboose shouted, suddenly way too close into his line of vision. "You are not dead, that is a relief, I was worried I would have to go home but you would not be there… it would be sad."

"Naw, I'm fine, man." Tucker mumbled, trying to sit up, giving up halfway and going limp on the ground. "Fuck it, I'm not fine, you should be worried."

Sister nodded in agreement, exchanging a few garbled whispers with Crunchbite. "You're not gonna die… we think."

"You think!?" Tucker questioned, jolting up at once, eyes wide, before collapsing again, seeing as Epsilon had decided to plop down heavily on his probably cracked ribs. "What did that thing do to me?"

"Calm down, you only caught Wither." Sister explained, shrugging it off. "The most it'll do is give you heart failure, destroy your lungs, ruin your social life, and terminate your sex appeal."

"What's the least it can do?" Tucker begged to know.

Sister shrugged, looking not nearly as concerned as she should. "I dunno, brain damage?"

"Great." Tucker muttered, glaring at the sky as he crossed his arms, ignoring the way Crunchbite glared at him for looking him in the eyes. "Shut up, you're the one who dragged me into this shit."

Caboose suddenly scooped Tucker up, tossing him onto his back. "I will carry you to your destiny, Tucker! You can count on me… I have always wanted to be a pony, or, a cowboy."

Tucker squirmed, but to no avail. "Put me down, dumbass!" He ordered, but Caboose ignored him, following Crunchbite and Sister with a smile.

Epsilon almost grinned at Tucker as he scuttled behind his master, an evil glint in his eyes. "Fuck you, Epsilon." Tucker muttered, sighing before passing out awhile later.

"Kay, so, Crunchbite says it's okay to rest here." Sister announced hours later, taking a seat in the grassy clearing of the forest. "We should get there by tomorrow or the day after."

"Awesome," Tucker muttered sarcastically, collapsing on the ground after Caboose released his hold on him. "Can't wait to see what else wants to pound me in the ass-"

"Hey chicka bump bump!" Caboose interrupted excitedly. "Yes, now I am the lady killer of the party… I hope I do not lose experience for changing my class."

"Shut the fuck up, Caboose." Tucker ordered, not at all fazed that he was sprawled out face first in the dirt. "Wake me if you need me, bitches." With that, he was out cold.

"Um, miss Sister?" Caboose asked, holding up his hand in question like he had done weeks ago. "Will Tucker die?"

Sister shrugged in response. "I dunno, but I think that Wither shit wore off on him a few days ago."

Caboose shook his head. "No, I do not mean the icky Zombie disease, I want to know if Tucker shall die or not."

"Dude, I'm still not sure on the details; we're getting way farther in our quest than those before us according to Crunchy over here." Sister explained, pointing her thumb towards where Crunchbite was looming suspiciously over Tucker.

"Mr. Friendermen?" Caboose called out, giving Crunchbite a very worried look. "Why are you looking at Tucker all weird?"

Sister, seeming to notice this, swung around, raising an eyebrow at Crunchbite. "Dude, you okay, man? You're kinda… breathing all heavy and shit."

Crunchbite didn't break eye-contact with Tucker's unconscious form for a few minutes before looking up, blinking very slowly, before teleporting away, screeching something to Kai. "Alright, man… that was fucking weird; Crunchbite is usually such a chill dude." Sister explained, looking worried as she faced the campfire she had just made. "I think he's not telling me something, but I'm not sure what it is…"

Caboose nodded, standing up to plop down beside Sister, hugging her close. "I shall tell you all of the important things that I know… you do not need to be sad, Church's Sister."

Sister chuckled, leaning into Caboose's hold on her person. "That's why I love you, Caboose. You're either a big sweetie who always tells the truth, or you just don't understand what it is we're talking about… guess that's why we get along so well."

"You are very smart, Sister." Caboose stated, as if this were a very important and well-known fact. "You are not dumb."

"Thanks," Sister muttered back, closing her eyes heavily as she leaned on Caboose, falling asleep before Crunchbite could pop back up.

Minutes after Caboose and Sister had fallen asleep, Crunchbite popped back to the camp, setting down a melon block before turning to Tucker, seeing that his moment of opportunity was in his grasp. Double checking to make sure Sister and Caboose were fast asleep, Crunchbite loomed over Tucker, looking the miner over with steady eyes.

It would be a long night for Crunchbite.

The next morning, Tucker groaned awake. The first thing he realized was how damn cold it was. He sat up, whimpering slightly as a wave of aches exploded from his nether regions. He shook himself violently, standing up on legs that felt like jelly, before looking over the campsite carefully. Sister, Caboose, and Epsilon were curled up beside the fire, a blanket having been wrapped securely around them all, which Tucker figured was Crunchbite's handy work; he did seem to have a soft spot for the yellow miner. Speaking of Crunchbite, he was wide awake and sitting in front of the campfire, which had gone out hours ago, messing with a small rose he had found.

"Yo," Tucker greeted, plopping down beside Crunchbite, biting his lip as another ache echoed through his nervous system. "Fuck, I haven't been this sore since that bachelorette party in that snow biome. Bow chicka bow wow."

Crunchbite didn't look impressed, turning to stare at Tucker, face neutral.

"Come on, man. These are the jokes." Tucker deadpanned, pouting at the ground. "Where were you last night?"

Crunchbite didn't answer, teleporting to stand over Caboose and Sister, shaking them awake. "Fine, whatever, forget I asked." Tucker muttered, smiling however as his teammates finally stood up.

The two miners shook off their remaining fatigue, Sister giving Tucker a once over. "Dude, you look like a fucking wreck." She pointed out, eyes wide. "You okay?"

"Just sore." Tucker explained. "But I mean, if your mom can handle it, then so can I, bow chicka bow wow."

"Whatever," Sister replied, smiling wide as she tossed her backpack back on, nodding towards one end of the clearing. "Come on, let's go!"

Hours passed in slow motion it seemed as the party trudged on, all just wanting this quest to end, some more than others. Tucker hanged back again in the group, Epsilon chilling out on his shoulder somewhat peacefully. Caboose was taking the lead, grinning and singing something way off tune as their traveling song, claiming that it was a spell he was using to help time go faster as they traveled. Tucker didn't believe a word of it, but, whatever, he would let Caboose have his fun for as long as he wanted. Sister and Crunchbite were around the middle, but closer to Tucker in distance, and, like they had been for days, were speaking in a language Sister insisted to Tucker was 'Endessee'.

It was interesting enough; maybe Sister would teach him some time.

"Stop!" Sister suddenly screamed in very real English at a very loud volume. "We got trouble soon!"

Tucker rolled his eyes, catching up to the rest of his party. "What the fuck is it now? If it's another Wither, I'm gonna kill myself so I can just go home."

Sister shook her head, signaling for everyone to get down, Crunchbite whispering some sorta explanation to her for why. "Get down. Sorry, he just wants a moment to chill before the quest fails and we all die…" Crunchbite glared full force at Sister. "Oh, uh, sorry, wasn't supposed to translate that last bit… um, stick to the plan, everyone is gonna be just fine!"

"Um, what was the plan again?" Caboose asked.

"It's simply; don't die while we wait for Tucker to basically be Jesus and light the holy grail… or in this case, slash a keyhole with his magical key sword."

"It's a key!?" Tucker questioned, looking at the sword as if it had disgraced his entire family. "But… I found it in a hole once with Tex…"

"Really? I've never found anything that badass in a hole, and I've fucked just about every hole you can think of!" Sister explained, eyes wide.

"Yeah… wait, what?" Tucker asked, but stopped as he heard a hiss nearby. "Creepers." He whispered in a startled tone, getting lower on the ground in fear. "Motherfuck."

Sister nodded, suddenly jumping up. "Charge!" She shouted, bursting over the hill, where a large village with nothing but Creepers living in it resided. "Go get 'em, Tuck!"

Tucker screeched, much like an Endermen, and ran wildly towards… well, Sister seemed like the safest option, seeing as he had zero idea where this keyhole or whatever was. He dodged Creepers with amazing skill as he rushed them, not bothering to pick a fight; he'd be dead in seconds if he risked such a war. The teal miner finally managed to find Kai, who had ducked into a large chasm under the village, where a button laid just waiting to be pushed, a long line of redstone trailing from the button towards the darkness of the caverns. Sister nodded proudly at Tucker as he joined her.

"Tucker, glad to see ya made it!" Sister greeted, nodding towards the button once more. "Kay, so here's the mission; just slash that button with your blade and we can go home."

"Wait, that's it? That's what we've been traveling for, like, half a month for!? To push a fucking button with a sword!?" Tucker screamed, glaring at the terrible button. "No one could wait for something to just step on it?"

"Well, only the sword can turn it on." Sister explained, smiling at Tucker hopefully. "Come on, just push it and we'll go."

Tucker sighed, rolling his eyes before tiptoeing over to the button, slashing it and jumping back upon contact. "There. Happy?"

A loud screech soon filled the air, Crunchbite teleporting into the cavern and throwing Sister and Tucker back, taking the strange sand-colored block from a pedestal that had risen from the button pushing, and disappeared in a puff of purple light, brighter and more violent sounding than an Endermen's usual teleporting sound. Caboose suddenly hopped into the cavern, Epsilon smiling proudly at the group as it's tail swished behind Caboose's head, coming to wrap itself gently around the blue miner's neck.

"Hello!" Caboose greeted at once, waving at his teammates. "The Creepers all went away… Church made them scared. Hey, where is Crunchbite?"

Tucker stared at Caboose before shaking his head, eyes distraught. Meanwhile, Sister started running around the caverns, frantically searching. "Crunchbite! Crunchbite!" She called out, looking close to tears. "Come on, man! This isn't funny anymore!"

Caboose looked away as well, unable to stare as Sister continued searching wildly for something that wasn't even there. "Come on, Crunch! We… we were gonna go on more adventures… we… we were gonna help you find a girlfriend…" She stared at the ground, coughing in an attempt to keep the tears from rolling down her cheeks. "You were my best friend…"

No one said a word for a very long time after that, but all agreed on one thing-

Crunchbite was gone; wherever he was, it wasn't on Earth, and whether they tried to ignore it or not…

It hurt like Hell.

A/N: Sad ending to this chapter, but the next one has Freelancers so it should be happier than this (Bet that's the first time the Freelancers have been happier than the BGC in any story). Thanks for reading! Please R&R!

~CabooseHeart.