A/N: More of you know Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy than knew Ender's Game. I approve! Everyone should love them some Hitchhiker's Guide. Too much good stuff.
Edward clenched his jaw so hard it ached.
There were a million things he should have been doing, not the least of which was soothing Bella. He knew she was nervous and upset. Seated in the passenger seat, she kept fidgeting, smoothing out non existent wrinkles out of her navy pants. At this rate, she was going to gnaw a hole through her lower lip. He would have called attention to this last part except that he was afraid his complete, bitter fury would override his voice and make it a snap, which she absolutely didn't deserve. As it was, when she'd come down the stairs wearing the lovely dress from the previous evening, he'd immediately sent her back to change.
It had been a very prick-caveman thing to do. As if he should control how she dressed. But in the moment, with everything else going on, Edward simply couldn't take it. The night before had probably been the best night of his life. It was certainly an immature notion, but he didn't want to share any of that with his grandfather.
Perhaps he could have made a romantic sentiment of it, except the more time he had to dwell, the more his words came out harsher than he wanted. He was sure he'd made her feel inadequate. She'd come back down in one of her nice pantsuits with her hair re-brushed - long, shiny, and straight - and her lips shining with gloss.
He'd never seen her wear makeup of any kind.
Edward gnashed his teeth.
Right then, he hated his grandfather with a passion he didn't know he was capable of. He'd been happy. He'd touched peace. He'd gone to bed the night before with a smile on his face and a light heart.
Couldn't it have lasted more than one night?
Bella's hand on his over the shifter drew his attention. He spared a glance and was soothed somewhat when her fingers brushed over his knuckles. She said nothing, but smiled slightly, curling her hand over his.
He breathed in deep, trying to calm his temper. He flipped his hand, squeezing hers. "It's going to be okay," he said quietly, but even to his ears there was an edge to his voice that was anything but soothing.
"Do you really believe that?" she challenged.
He frowned and sighed. "No," he admitted, returning his hand to the steering wheel. There were a few moments of silence, but he could feel her eyes on him. "I know how this must look," he said with a sigh. "What kind of a grown man is afraid of his elderly grandfather?"
"I understand," she said quietly. "For all intents and purposes, he was your only parent growing up." She looked out the window, her voice tight. "It doesn't matter how badly you might have been treated, everyone wants their parents' approval."
Edward didn't answer right away. He read between the lines and wondered, not for the first time, about the mother Bella had left behind. She didn't say a lot about Renee. Now wasn't the time to bring up the subject, though.
"He wasn't... he isn't all bad," he said instead. "My brothers were right. I wanted for nothing. I always had the best, and he encouraged my academic interests." His lips quirked. "When I was perhaps seven or so, he took me to the observatory, and when I was fascinated with the stars he bought me a telescope. A nice one. And though he didn't know anything about the constellations, we learned together."
"No one is all bad," Bella allowed. "But a few good qualities don't give him the right to be cruel to you. I don't think a child needs things as much as affection, and it's obvious he failed on that front." She squeezed his hand as she spoke.
For a long while, Edward didn't speak to that. He wanted to deny that a lack of affection had any big effect on him, but he knew he'd be kidding himself to buy into that.
When he was in his early twenties, coming to the conclusions he had about his grandfather, Edward had made a concerted effort to get to know his parents better. Rather than look down on them, as he had in some way, shape, or form since before he could remember, he tried to see their abandonment objectively.
The choice to raise him had been taken away from them - as so many of Edward's choices had been taken away - but they never stopped loving him.
Then, he began truly accepting his parents' physical affection: his mother's frequent hugs and the way his father would clasp his arm. Since he'd never been a touchy-feely person before, he noticed when he began automatically wrapping his mother in bear hugs that lasted much longer than was entirely necessary. It took him some time to understand why he didn't want to let go.
More than once, he'd thought to himself that should he ever have children, he would not be ashamed to kiss and cuddle them. They would always know how much he loved and treasured them.
The world was a hard, often unforgiving place, and so Edward had to give some credit to his grandfather. The way he'd been raised left him extremely capable of dealing with whatever life threw at him without panicking or otherwise freaking out. His heart was behind a wall the older man had helped him build. Still, he'd come to realize it was no weakness to want to be loved by a parental figure. He'd had no idea how completely starved for love and affection he was until his twenties when he began letting Carlisle and Esme be the parents they always wanted to be to him.
Bella's sharp intake of breath caught his attention. He'd just turned into the driveway of his grandfather's home - the house he'd grown up in. When he glanced over at her, he saw her eyes were huge. "Holy crow," she breathed. "I thought your house was big... You lived here?"
He almost smiled. "Yes, just Grandfather, myself, and the odd nanny."
"Does he live here by himself now?" Bella asked after he'd entered the code in the gate, letting himself in.
Honestly, Edward was somewhat surprised his code hadn't been changed.
"He has a live in nurse," Edward answered. "Mostly to manage his medications- that old man is as strong as any of us and will doubtlessly live forever. He also has a dedicated house staff, most of whom have been with him since I was small."
She didn't speak again until he'd parked the car in front of the big house. "He must be lonely," she observed finally. "It must be such a empty life."
Edward was somewhat surprised. His shock was quickly replaced by amazement. In the little space of time Bella had been exposed to his grandfather, she'd been the subject of his cruel, furious words. That was all she knew of the old man. And yet, she was still able to summon a hint of compassion for him.
As they got out of the car, he reached for her automatically. They ascended the steps holding hands, both squeezing tightly.
If Bella's expression was any indication, her stomach must have been twisting just as much as his was.
Though he still had a key, Edward rang the bell. Again, he almost smiled when he heard Bella's little gasp of surprise when a doorman came to the door.
He knew parts of his life were very surreal to his wife.
"Hello, Eleazar," he greeted.
"Edward!" The man - who Edward guessed to be in his sixties- smiled genuinely. "I feared I might never get to see you again, sir."
Edward grimaced. "I'm not sure what you heard-"
The man waved a hand. "It's not my place to pay attention to my employer's personal business," he said gently, stepping aside to let them in. "It is good to see you though. And this must be your wife?"
"Yes. This is my Isabella," he said, smiling warmly as he patted her hand. "Bella, this is Eleazar. He's worked here for longer than I've been alive."
Eleazar chuckled. "That's very true." He shook Bella's hand firmly. "It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen." He looked up to Edward, his expression a little more serious. "Shall I announce you, sir?"
"No. Just tell me where he is please." Edward switched his grip, wrapping his arm around Bella's waist instead, the movement both protective and because, well, he needed the comfort.
"He's in his study," the older man said gently. "Incidentally, Edward, if I don't see you before you depart, give my best to your father? And all the best to you... if I don't see you."
Edward nodded, his mouth set in a tight line. All these years later, Eleazar still missed Carlisle. Reading between the lines, he knew the other man was entirely unsure if he'd be seeing Edward again, or if he too would disappear from the house as Carlisle had when he was just fifteen years old.
His arm still wrapped around Bella, Edward led her to the wide staircase. He rubbed her back in light circles as they walked, and she squeezed him when they got to the top of the stairs.
Grandfather's study was at the end of the long hall on the second story of the three story house. The door was slightly ajar, and Edward could see that the old man was in an armchair by the window, paperwork on his lap and in his hand.
Edward cleared his throat. "Sir?"
The old man raised his head, his eyes already narrowed. Edward clenched his free hand in a fist at his side when he saw the way his grandfather's eyes swept over Bella. Edward knew the man well enough to know he was deconstructing her in his head, likely judging her based on whatever arbitrary thought occurred to him.
Finally, he raised his eyes. "You don't observe the common courtesy to call before you just stop by, now?" He scoffed.
Edward swallowed hard before he spoke. "I apologize, sir. It was urgent that I speak to you."
"And yet, that still doesn't explain why you didn't call first." Grandfather began speaking right on the heels of Edward's apology. "I can't imagine you couldn't find a working phone, even in your urgency."
Edward bit the inside of his cheek. Before he could answer, though, Bella stepped forward, filling the silence. "Father Cullen, I'm very sorry we haven't been introduced before, and I'm sorry we're meeting for the first time under these circumstances."
"And what circumstances are those, girl?" Grandfather Cullen asked smoothly, raising an appraising eyebrow at Bella.
Out of the corner of his eye, Edward saw Bella's cheek twitch. He was surprised to note she was not intimidated but irritated.
"As I was saying, I'm very sorry we haven't been properly introduced to this point," she said cooly. "My name is Bella Swan. Cullen," she stumbled. She drew in a deep breath, recovering. "I've heard you had concerns, and I understand why."
He laughed, and Edward gritted his teeth. "Do you? Well, perhaps you can explain to me what prompted this little visit now, seeing as you've doubtless known my concerns for several weeks."
"I wrote a check to the Ivy," Edward inserted. "Which I was just told was stopped."
"Of course," Grandfather Cullen said coldly.
"Maybe you can explain to me, sir, why you felt the need to remove me from the family's account after a decade," Edward said tightly, choosing his words carefully.
Edward the First regarded his grandson, his eyes hard. "After our discussion, I intended merely to watch the account. But when I saw what was happening..." He shook his head and leveled a glare at Bella. "If my grandson wants to be an idiot, he can do it with the money my nephew pays him. I'll be damned if you chip away at this family's fortune with your extravagant tastes."
Bella's face was a mask of confusion. "I don't know what you-"
"Please, girl. Don't play dumb. That game tries my patience," the old man snapped. "I've seen the payments made to designers, The Ivy, and not one, but two homes?"
"None of those things are for Bella," Edward inserted. "In fact, Bella has received not a single dime from that account."
"And those purchases were for who? You? You suddenly have a taste for designer dresses? Luxury meals? And there was a rather exorbitant amount paid to a company I haven't been able to track down as of yet," Grandfather Cullen accused.
"All of those purchases was made before I met-" Edward sucked in a sharp breath. "Before Bella and I were officially together," he amended. "In fact if you look into the accounts, you'll find that the mortgage on those homes have been paid for the last two years. They're for my brothers, and the large expense you're looking for is to an equipment company - for my parents and their business. Most of the more recent purchases are items I volunteered to pay for Emmett's wedding. The two properties are condominiums for Emmett and Jasper." His voice was rising faster than he could control it. "They are all Cullens, Grandfather. I only use that account for my family, just as you've claimed you want it used, even if you don't want Bella included in that."
Edward the First stood, his eyes livid. "Don't you take that tone with me, boy. If I wanted money wasted on my son and his brats, I'd have given it to them a long time ago. It was my mistake to add you to the account in the first place, clearly. It's best I cut my losses now, before matters got even worse." He looked at Bella as he spoke, and Edward felt a growl building low in his chest.
Bella stepped forward then, thrusting a paper at him. "Here. Read that. It's a post-nuptial agreement. I can't touch any of his accounts - not even his personal bank account - without Edward's permission. If we should ever divorce, I get nothing. Not a penny. I don't want it." She paused as the old man took the paper. "I'm sorry you got the impression I was after your family's money. I don't care at all about money. When I met Edward, I had no idea how wealthy he was."
He laughed again. "Very convincing, girl-"
"Girl is not my name," Bella interrupted.
Grandfather Cullen raised a disgusted eyebrow, looking cooly at Edward. "Such charming taste in women you have," he said, shaking his head. "As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, your act is good, but I'm not a fool. A piece of paper is just that: paper. So you get my idiot grandson to rip it up as a symbol of his undying devotion to you," he scoffed.
"Then you keep it," she said, crossing her arms.
"I beg your pardon?"
"Keep the paper. I'm assuming you don't believe I could convince you to rip it up."
Edward was quietly impressed, having never seen his grandfather rendered speechless before. A smile tugged at his lips, and he took Bella's hand again, squeezing tightly.
Bella took a deep breath. "Look, Father Cullen-"
"Are you aware, Mrs. Cullen," he pronounced the name with a heavy edge of sarcasm, "that this family is not Catholic?"
Edward grimaced. He'd hoped his grandfather had the tact not to bring it up.
"What?" Bella asked, sounding uncertain.
"Catholic priests are called Father. Pastor is the term you're looking for." He studied her for a moment. "You see, I find it very strange that you care so much for my grandson - my family - and yet you don't even know what religion we practice. Or is it that you're simply too dull to know the difference between the two?" He shook his head. "There's something very wrong here."
"Grandfather!" Edward protested, but Bella was already speaking.
"The only thing wrong is the way you treat the people you should treasure," Bella snapped. "How do you not see? Your son, your grandson - they're beautiful, kind people. How can you look at them and feel anything but pride?"
"Because I am not such a sentimental fool," the older man returned. "How dare you speak to me, young lady? As it is, you live in a house I bought, you are supported by an education and job I provided for Edward." He rolled his eyes. "I thought he might prove himself worthy of the investment. Obviously, I was wrong."
"He's a human being, not a business decision," Bella snarled.
Quickly, Edward put his arm around her waist and began pulling her toward the exit. "Let's go, Bella."
"Edward, you're not to bring your harpy whore back to this house, am I understood, boy?"
Edward whirled on his grandfather. "What I understand, Grandfather, is that you're right. I am a fool. I trusted that there had to be some love in you for your family - for me. A love that exists only as long as I fit the mold you made for me is not love, and I'm done. I'm done listening to you criticize my wife - who has done nothing to you, who you've never even laid eyes on to this point - and my father - who was fifteen when he disappointed you thirty-two years ago, and you still haven't gotten over it it - and me. I'm done with you, do you understand that?"
He didn't wait for an answer. Instead, he turned on his feet, ignoring his grandfather's angry, rather belligerent shouts as he lead Bella back down the steps and out the door of his childhood home for what he thought may have been the last time.
~0~
Bella said nothing, not knowing quite where to start. The drive back home was painfully silent. Edward was seething, and Bella didn't know if she had anything helpful to add.
She'd never been so frustrated in her life.
What she wanted to do was tear into that wretched old man with as many bad words as she knew existed, but would that help?
Well, it would make her feel better, but she was more concerned about Edward.
He was grinding his teeth audibly. He kept his hands gripped around the steering wheel, so she couldn't wrap her fingers around his as she had earlier that day.
Several times, she opened her mouth only to close it again.
Back at the house, he stormed up the steps away from her, and when she caught up, he was staring at the broken hall tree with an expression so furious, she was surprised the thing didn't burst into flames.
She waited, tense, expecting him to start beating on the wall again.
For long moments, it looked like he was going to throw a royal fit. She understood that. It was only because she was more concerned for him that she wasn't raging herself.
Instead, he began to slump slowly.
First, it was his shoulders. Rather than rigid and set back - he always stood and sat up ramrod straight - they seemed to dip with each breath he took. His hands relaxed out of fists, falling limply at his side, and to her surprise, she thought she saw his lip tremble a split second before he turned abruptly, sprinting up the stairs.
Bella followed at a slower pace, completely unsure of what she was doing but knowing she didn't want to leave him alone. She found him in his bedroom, his hands in fists again, dug into his eyes. He was breathing sharply.
It took her a full minute to figure out he was crying. Or at the very least, he was trying not to cry.
Stepping up in front of him, Bella paused, waiting for him to order her away.
When he didn't, she carefully wrapped her hands around his fists, first bringing them down away from his eyes and then working her fingers through his, loosening his death grip.
His eyes were closed, his breath ragged. A tear slipped out from under his closed eyelids. Raising up on her tiptoes, she brushed it away with her lips.
He let out a long, shuddery breath.
Both of her hands still in his, Bella led him to his bed, tugging him down so they were laying face to face, side by side. She wiped away his tears with the back of her hand, her movements slow and gentle, tender. He still didn't open his eyes, but his breath wasn't as labored. She continued to caress the features of his face with one hand, working her way back until she was combing through his hair with her fingers.
Slowly, his body relaxed. He reached out, wrapping her in his arms, burying his nose against her neck.
He was trembling. It was just a slight tremor, but it was there.
Of course, it must have felt like his entire world was coming down around him. On the one hand were his brothers - the boys, men, who should have been his closest friends in the world. His relationship with them had been pushed back a solid decade overnight. On the other hand was his grandfather. Better or worse, he worshipped the man in the way a son worshipped his father. It didn't matter what logic said, or how little Edward the First deserved his family's respect at all. Part of Edward would always ache for his grandfather's approval. Part of him would always believe that if he'd just been better, he could have earned his grandfather's love.
They were two halves of himself that were completely at odds: the family he should have had versus the man he grew up with.
Bella didn't know the right words to comfort him, didn't know what to say to make him see how wonderful he was. It didn't matter that Emmett and Jasper thought he was capable of destroying their lives. It didn't matter that he would never live up to his grandfather's warped view of what a good son should be. He was an amazing, kind, good man.
So she tried to show him instead, how absolutely worthy of love he was, how he deserved to be treasured.
She kissed his forehead, his closed eyes, the tip of his nose, and his cheeks. Stroking her fingers through his hair, rubbing the back of his neck, she kissed his lips. He sucked in a sharp breath - the sound whining with a heavy emotion - before he slowly began kissing her back. They were tiny kisses, painfully unsure at first, but when Bella's lips lingered, his moved with hers.
Slowly, the painful weight of the atmosphere around them dissipated. It wasn't gone, but it was easier to handle, to breathe through.
When Edward opened his eyes he looked calm - sad, but calm. He raised his hand, cupping her cheek, stroking his thumb under her eye, just staring. He took a deep breath, finding her hands and bringing them between them, up to his lips. He kissed her skin. "I'm sorry he said those things to you," he said in a gravely whisper, still rough around the edges.
"Look at me," she entreated. Slowly, he did. "Don't you ever apologize for him again. Not to me. Not to anyone," she said fiercely. "Never again. Promise me."
He studied her for a moment and sighed, scooting closer to her so that there was no space between their bodies, so that they were wound so tight, the only way they could be closer was if their clothes were off.
"I promise," he vowed, the words mumbled against her lips as he sealed his promise with a kiss.
A/N: Soooo that was fun. Poor Edward has not had a very good day. Sigh!
Thank you to my lovely girls. Idk how I'd do it without you.
And thanks to viewers like YOU for all your support and kind words. Really. Thank you.
Okay, so I'm getting on a plane this evening not to return for a good week. Earliest you'll see an update is NEXT Saturday night, but more likely it will be Sunday. Much love to you all! Happy Mother's Day to all you lovely mothers.