Unlike L, I shall be plain and blunt with my demands and five explanations afterwards. Speaking of plain and blunt, emotions are no longer aloud to be shown in public. Some may think this to be ridiculous. I know you feel emotions and sometimes you want to show them or act on them, but that fact does not mean that others want to see them. Just because you love someone does not mean that I wish to see you kiss that someone. Therefore, no more emotions in public.
No one is permitted to touch albinos unless granted permission or they are dead. People have a tendency to try to touch albinos. I must assume that it is because we are so pale that they feel the need to make sure that we are real. Well, we are very much real and we do not appreciate you all feeling a notion to touch us. The next person to touch me shall have their hand bitten off.
Now, I should probably just send a letter to the Lego Company, but I want a document that states that they must so they cannot refuse. What could I possibly be talking about? I am simply stating that the Lego Company must hand over their ownership of the company to me. As many know, I have an absolute love for legos That is all the reasoning needed for as to why I want to own all the legos in the world.
L, Mello, Light, Matt, and I, Near, are permitted to kill anyone and everyone we deem as unworthy. With that said, I must do much explaining. Who do we deem unworthy? That is a simple question that many fear the answer of. Anyone who goes against law, wars rainbow colored socks, gets on our nerves, or is our enemy. That basically means that we may kill whoever we think deserves to die. Of course, we are not allowed to kill each other by any means including magical notebooks of doom. That said, I shall answer the question of how those unworthy shall die. Seeing as though there are many pleasurable ways of killing people, I say that there will not be a particular death that shall be used every fucking time we want someone dead. Why the fuck do you idiotic people care anyway? Did I just curse? Anyways, no matter how painful or gently you die, it does not change the simple fact that you are most definitely going to be dead when the day is over so you might as well enjoy your final surprise. Now on to my final wish.
I, Near, shall be entrusted with as many knives as I pleas. Now anyone who does not know me will be confused by that statement. That is okay, for you do not need to know. Do not ask.