Article 3: Mello's section
I, Mello, have a deep love for revolvers and do not appreciate when others try to turn theirs on me. That said, I am officially banning revolvers from all but those who shall write their name on the bottom of this document. Why am I allowing them to own revolvers? As Near stated in the last section, we are not allowed to kill each other and therefore they can threaten me with my own guns. They do not like revolvers anyways. Near also told me tat I must clearly explain all my demands to stop riots, so my section will be quite annoyingly long. At least it is to me.
Second would be that you are all our slaves. After hearing that, you probably think that I am crazy and that you will never obey. Hear me out. You do not realize it, but you all have always been our slaves in a way. Every second of every day we have used your lack of intelligence, emotions, and lives for our own personal gain. This paragraph will not change a single thing. I just thought that you ought to know that you are being used. To be completely truthful, you have been paying us to use you. You all brought us to power and that gave us the power to make this Constitution that may not be disobeyed. This is your entire fault. And apparently partially my own as Near is now saying that crack makes me way too…. Manipulatively mellow? I think he's trying to joke. Creepy. Anyways!
Ever since I was a young boy, I have had an obsession with chocolate. I am not entirely sure why, but it helps me think better. Maybe it is the way it melts in my mouth, the way it is either sweet or bitter, or perhaps it is the way there are a million different flavors, tastes, types, sizes, textures, and qualities. Despite my lack of stomach, small structure, and huge muscles, I eat at least 3 chocolate bars a day. The point is that I really love chocolate. Due to this love, I now decree all chocolate to be ours… but mostly mine.
For anyone with an I.Q. of over 120, school is a pointless waist of time. We could be doing so much more useful things than just sitting in a class finding out things we already know for a whole fucking 8 hours. I am not sure about you, but that just pisses me off. For that reason, if your current I.Q. is over 120 than school is not required. You may still go, but I do not see why considering you already know the material. Also, high intelligence jobs must hire people based on I.Q., not educational background.
Finally, I shall state that no one but the writers of this document shall have any rights at all in my presence. Wait. Scratch that. You shall have one right. The right to kill each other. Not the writers. I repeat, you can't not kill the writers. No other rights though. Why? Because I simply fucking do not want to have to deal with all of your bullshit!
…Hey look! Near! I beat you in length!
Yes, but you came after me in the order.
DON'T INVADE MY ARTICLE!