"Eleeeenaaaaa!"

"She has got to stop doing that," I grumbled, stumping down the stairs in my stilettos. Even though I had been coerced into going out, I tried to follow Caroline's instruction to 'look hot' to the letter. For one thing, I never did anything half-assed. For another, if I resisted, Caroline would probably anticipate it and have an outfit backup that would make my most revealing clothes look like a nun's habit.

Jenna quirked an eyebrow in the direction of the window. "Caroline isn't very patient, is she?"

"Caroline has many virtues, but patience is not one of them."

"Have fun."

"Thanks, Aunt Jenna. I'll be back before midnight. I hope," I sighed, thinking of all the homework I hadn't done. It was still a school night.

God, when had I turned into the responsible figure in this family? Caroline was right, I needed to party on my birthday, if only to prevent myself from becoming someone who does homework for fun.

"Whooo, it's the birthday girl," Caroline sang.

"Hi, Caroline. I'm following your instructions, in case you haven't noticed."

Caroline scanned my outfit, a red silk sleeveless top with a tie front, and black skinny jeans. I had no idea where we were going (but, as Jeremy had said, most likely The Grille) so I tried to look good while staying somewhat practical.

"Me likey," she pronounced, scooping a pile of black lace off of the passenger seat so I could sit down. As she tossed it in the backseat, I assumed it was my back-up outfit, and I decided that I didn't want to get a closer look.

"Let's roll! Bonnie is meeting us there."

"Where is 'there'?" I asked politely. "We're on our way, so you might as well tell me now."

"Ooh, no can do, Elena, but thanks for the reminder," she chirped, digging a bandana out of the glove compartment and tying it around my head like a blindfold.

"Are you kidding, Caroline? I'm not wearing this!"

When I tried to pull it off, she slammed on the brakes, giving me a minor case of whiplash.

"Elena Gilbert, if you remove that blindfold or even peek, I will turn this car around!"

"Fine," I huffed, sightless. "Do it. I told you I didn't want a party."

Caroline was silent, and for reasons I couldn't explain to myself, I left the blindfold on in spite of what I'd said.

"I'm sorry," I told her finally. "Thank you for throwing me a party – I'm glad I have you to remind me to do fun things even when I'm not sure I'm up to it."

"You're welcome! And just in time, we're here." Caroline yanked the blindfold off my head, and I blinked rapidly, adjusting to a different kind of darkness.

We were somewhere out in the country. There was only one building in sight; miles of road, grass, trees filled in the rest of the space. There weren't even streetlamps.

I didn't need to ask what we were doing here, though. The building spoke volumes. Particularly the pink neon sign that spelled out "EyeCandy."

"Caroline…" I began apprehensively "…what is this place?"

"It's a male strip club, silly! You're eighteen, so what better way to celebrate than by doing stuff you couldn't before? I knew you'd never go for cigarettes – Bonnie and I got you a bunch of scratch-off lottery tickets – and we didn't think you'd want actual porn, so we got you something even better!"

For once, I was speechless. Too bad it wasn't contagious. Caroline kept chatting as she dragged me inside, and as I became more accustomed to my surroundings, my fury grew.

"I cannot believe," I hissed "that you brought me here. This place is- "

"Great, right? I know, I've wanted to come here since my birthday, but Bonnie said we should wait until you turned eighteen, too, so we could all come together. I mean, we could've gotten fake ids, but around here there aren't too many people who could get us some and it would have been such a hassle, so we said, what's the point?"

"Caroline! Where's Bonnie?"

"I'm right here, keep your pants on," Bonnie teased, emerging from a shadowy corner. I had no idea how she had the guts to arrive here before us and wait alone. I wasn't even comfortable, and I was with my two best friends!

Then again, this place was pretty cool...

A large, T-shaped stage took up most of the room, which was currently bathed in turquoise lighting. Squashy velvet chairs were littered around the floor in varying shades of purple and pink, and small, simple chandeliers hung here and there. The entrance was surrounded by the kind of lightbulbs that made me think of Marilyn Monroe and starlet dressing rooms. The overall effect was somewhere on a thin line between enormously tacky and super chic.

"Happy Birthday, 'Lena," Bonnie smiled as she positioned a fluffy pink tiara atop my head. I glared at her. Lovingly, of course.

"Whose idea was this?" I complained, grudgingly allowing myself to be frogmarched to a seat that was front and center. There had better not be any stripper/audience interaction in this place, because if there was, I was most definitely in the hot seat.

"Mine, of course!" Caroline claimed credit happily. "Dana's sister came here with some of the senior girls on the squad when we were freshmen - she told us all about it at a sleepover, and I've dreamed of coming ever since." I stared at her incredulously, stunned by her glassy-eyed expression. Please, someone - get me out of here, and get some help for my friends!

Bonnie caught my eye. "Now Elena, don't be difficult," she warned. "Caroline and I are trying to do a nice thing for you, and you are going to enjoy it. You're so...serious all the time - " she held up a hand to silence me as I started to protest " - and with good reason. Things haven't exactly been easy for you, and believe me, we get that. But we thought that this would be a good way to...um...loosen you up." She smirked at me, and I was torn between wanting to hug her and throw my stupid fuzzy tiara in her face.

Fortunately, I was saved from trying to formulate a reply by the dimming of the lights.

I looked around; we were the only people in the whole place, but apparently it was showtime.

"Ooh, a private show!" Caroline squealed as spotlights started moving around the floor and the strains of Kool and the Gang's "Ladies' Night came on over the sound system. Well, Caroline had been telling the truth, at least - it was girl's night with just the three of us, after all. Way to be positive.

"Ladies," a sultry voice addressed us, its owner unseen. "Are you ready to have a good time?"

"Yeah," chorused Bonnie and Caroline.

"I'm sorry," it went on pleasantly. "I didn't quite catch that. Are you ready to have a good time?"

"YEAH," they shrieked. I covered my ears.

"Well, well, well...and you, birthday girl?"

I looked around, startled. "Um, yeah. Definitely," I added as both Bonnie and Caroline nudged me in the ribs from either side.

"Well, we are going to exceed your expectations - you ladies aren't going to have just a good time tonight," the voice went on smugly.

The curtains rolled back slowly as a fog machine sent white clouds tumbling onstage. A man's silhouette appeared in the mist.

"Prepare to have your mind blown."