"You're back." Emma says softly, as Regina enters their shared bedroom.
It's been hours since Regina left the cottage…hours since the kiss that was shared between them. Since then, Emma has taken her alone time in the cottage to think about her life and everything going on in it. Her parents, her situation, her needs, but most importantly, her feelings for Regina. For the past few weeks, Emma's perception of Regina has been majorly altered. For the last 14 years of her life, she had seen Regina as this untouchable, unapproachable, selfish, unkind, and spiteful girl. But after living with the brunette for the last few weeks and experiencing what it is like to be her friend and her wife (even though both girls choose not to use that title), she has realized that, Regina, is none of those things. She's just a young woman who has been told what to think, say, and do, for her entire life. She's just a person who is not used to being heard. She's just a person that wants to be respected. Sure, her attitude can be unpredictable and infuriating at times, but if Emma is being honest, it can be kind of endearing and just a tad bit lovable, once you're used to her behavior, that is.
Being alone for the last few hours has helped Emma come to the conclusion, she felt she should have known all along. She has feelings for Regina. At first, she thought it was just growing platonic feelings towards the girl. The two had been getting along so well lately, that Emma had thought her constant craving to be around Regina was just a side effect of their newfound friendship…but after that kiss…she knew it was more than that. That kiss had opened her eyes and pointed to what has always been right in front of her. It ignited a burning flame in her heart and in her soul…a flame she never knew needed to be lit in the first place. But it has been lit, and the owner of that match, is Regina. Only, Regina.
Emma watches the brunette as she changes out of her, now, muddied clothing. Emma tilts her head to the side as she examines Regina's disarrayed state and mud-ridden clothes.
"What happened to you? Did you fall into a mud pile or something?" Emma asks in puzzlement. Instead of receiving an answer, Regina pulls on a new blouse, throwing her muddied one on her growing pile of dirty clothes. "Regina?" Emma says, pleading for the girl to acknowledge her. Unfortunately, the brunette keeps her back to the girl as she pulls on a pair of crop pants, throwing the muddied pair in the pile with her dirty shirt and towel. "Are you seriously giving me the silent treatment right now?" Emma asks in disbelief. Her only answer is silence. Emma scoffs at the girl and shakes her head in bemusement. "Real mature, Regina."
Regina turns around and eyes the blonde for a fleeting moment, before turning on her heels and walking out of the bedroom. Emma gapes at the girl's retreating form and lays back on the bed, her eyes staring up at the ceiling. "Leave it to me to fall for the most insufferable woman alive…" Emma grumbles quietly to herself. If Regina wants to be difficult, then so can I. Emma thinks to herself as she gets up from her bed and walks out into the living room. As she enters the living room, she sees Regina sitting on the sofa reading a book. Emma wasn't even aware that they had any books in the house. Trying to keep her mind from getting sidetracked, Emma takes a seat next to Regina on the sofa. "What are you reading?" Emma asks her. Without a hint of acknowledgment, Regina keeps her focus on her book. Emma decides to scoot closer to the girl, which in return, causes Regina to scoot further away. "Why won't you talk to me?"
"Why won't you go away?" Regina counters, her eyes still focused on her novel. Emma does her best to stifle the smile that is trying to form on her face.
"Because we live together and you're stuck with me and the silence makes me uncomfortable." Emma says softly. Regina keeps her focus on her page, her expression completely void of emotion. The blonde lets out an exasperated sigh. "Why are you upset with me?"
"Who says I'm upset with you?"
"Your silence and inability to make eye contact with me, does. I didn't do anything wrong." Regina carefully closes her book, bending the page so she doesn't lose her place. She locks eyes with Emma, frustration shining brightly in her brown orbs.
"You kissed me, Emma."
"And you kissed me back! Stop playing the blame game. You are as much to blame for that kiss happening as I am. We both wanted it, Regina. I saw it in your eyes, I felt in your kiss. You wanted to kiss me. You can deny it all you want, but you wanted it because you have fee-"Before Emma can get the chance to finish her sentence, Regina cuts her off.
"Shut up! Don't even finish that sentence. I didn't want that kiss. I just got caught up in the moment. Just because you want me, doesn't mean that I have to want you back." Regina says quietly, her eyes distant and cold. Emma looks at the girl in disbelief before she comes to the conclusion, that she should have expected this. Instead of arguing with the girl any further, Emma nods her head and rises up from her seat on the sofa.
"You're right. I'm sorry for making those assumptions. And just for the record, I never said that I wanted you. You're not my type." Emma lies easily, making her way back into the bedroom. If Regina wants to be in denial, then who is Emma to stop her? The blonde lies down on the bed and stares up at the ceiling. Regina will come around in time; that time might come in a day, a month, a year…however long it takes, Emma will still be here waiting. She's sure of that.
Out in the living room, Regina places her book face down on the table. She sighs to herself and turns her body sideways, lying down on the sofa to catch her breath. Today went from being bearable to awful, in a matter of hours. Regina was truly enjoying her dance lesson with Emma. Everything seemed to be going swimmingly, even Emma's dancing had improved during the hour, and then things started to intensify and make a turn for the worst. The moment she looked into those darkened green eyes, she knew something crazy was going to happen, she just didn't know what it was. But the moment the blonde's lips pressed into hers, she knew that everything was going to go downhill from there. What was even worse than the fact that Emma kissed her, was the fact that she kissed Emma back. Regina never thought in a million years that she would ever willingly kiss back Emma White. But lo and behold…she did. And she has no idea what possessed her to do so. All she knew, was that she wanted to. Her heart ached for that kiss and she didn't understand why. Being near Emma in that moment became too much for her. It felt like the air was getting thicker, her heart was beating faster, and the walls were closing in on her. All she knew in that moment, was that she had to get out of there and away from Emma.
Once she left the cottage and ran into Daniel, she felt both happy and apprehensive to see him. Could he have witnessed her kiss with Emma? Could he see, just by looking at her, that something occurred between her and the blonde? She couldn't be sure, but she didn't want to take any chances. All she wanted to do, was be held in his arms and prove her love for him. Let him see that she was devoted to him and only him. But to her surprise, he set her free. He told her that he loved her but that he couldn't sneak around with her when she was married to someone else. He even went as far as saying that she could learn to love Emma. After facing that shocking rejection, Regina had walked away from him and kept walking, until she was no longer anywhere near him or Emma. She kept walking until she reached a nearby farm. She took note of all of the pigs, cows, chickens, and horses loitering around.
While seeing no one in sight, Regina had hopped the fence and petted the animals, feeling a sense of contentment at being surrounded by creatures who wouldn't talk back to her. She ran her fingers through the horses' manes, chased around the chickens, ran her hand over the cows' skin and played in the pen with the pigs. She's sure, that to any outsider, she would look like a crazy person, but in that moment, she didn't care. She just needed an escape. But of course, all great escapes must come to an end. After one of the larger pigs ran through her legs and caused her to lose her balance, Regina found herself sitting in a pile of mud…or what she hoped was mud. It was official after that moment: play time was over.
After that unfortunate incident, Regina decided it was time to head back to the cottage. It was time to face Emma, whether she wanted to or not.
Now that Regina is back in the cottage, she didn't know what to do with herself. She read over the same opening sentence in her book at least a dozen times. And after Emma decided to join her on the sofa, all she did was stare at the page, unable to focus on any of the words written on it. How is she supposed to go about living with Emma now? Things are now far more complicated than they have ever been and Regina just doesn't know how to deal.
The Next Day
Emma is tired. So very tired. The night before was awful. She knew Regina could be stubborn at times, but she had no idea that the brunette could be that stubborn. Emma has never once felt like she was repulsive, but by the way Regina was acting whilst in her presence last night, she might as well have been a slaughtered pig that was delivered on the door step. Regina refused, not only to sleep in the same bed as Emma, but she refused to sleep in the same house, as well. Regina, literally, picked up one of the extra blankets and her pillow and marched out towards the stables, completely intent on sleeping on a pile of hay. The fact that she would rather sleep in a stable, on a stack of hay, with neighing horses, made Emma feel grotesque and worthless. Who would have thought one innocent kiss could change everything so drastically? The friendship that the two girls have managed to build over the last couple weeks is gone, broken down by Regina. To say that Emma is hurt, would be an understatement.
A swift kick to Emma's side, pulls the blonde out of her thoughts.
"What's going on with you today, kid? Usually you're able to block my every move and get in a few punches, but today…today it's like your mind is somewhere else. Do you want to take a break?" Archibald asks Emma kindly. Emma forces a smile at the man and shakes her head in the negative.
"No, I'm fine. I just got a little sidetracked. Let's start again." Emma says to the man. He nods unsurely at her and gets into a fighting stance. She mirrors his stance and focuses all of her attention on him. He throws a punch at her that she easily deflects. He attempts to surprise her with a swift sweep kick but she quickly jumps up, avoiding his attack. When she sees that he's wide open, she strikes a punch at his abdomen, causing the larger man to stumble back a few steps. Before he regains his footing, she sweep kicks his feet from right under him, causing him to fall onto his rear. She smirks at the man in victory and he laughs genuinely at her.
"You are definitely a strong one for your age and size." Archibald compliments. Emma smiles at him bashfully.
"Well, I've had awesome trainers." She says with a shrug.
"That you do. Go take a break, Emma. We'll start again in 5." Archibald tells her with a kind smile. Emma nods at him and makes her way over to the side of the practice field. She sits down in one of the empty chairs and watches as Regina fights with Alexander. She looks over just in time to see, Regina, place a weak looking punch on Alexander's abdomen, causing the man to look at the girl with a quirked brow. Regina rolls her eyes at the man and places a kick on his leg, one that doesn't even make him stumble.
"I would have already broken several of your bones by now. Put more strength into it, Regina!" Alexander says exasperatedly. Regina cocks a brow at him and gets back into her fighting stance. The two circle each other for a minute before Alexander throws a punch at her. Regina easily dodges it. He then aims a kick to her leg, which she easily sidesteps. Just as he's about to strike again, Regina pulls her leg back and strikes, her boot making very hard contact with Alexander's crotch. Emma watches in horror as the man crumples into himself and falls to the ground.
"That was an effective way to get a man down, if I do say so myself." Regina says to Alexander's pained form. Without being able to stop it, a laugh bubbles out of Emma's throat at the scene. She can't believe that Regina did that.
"Go…take…a…break." Alexander says through wheezes. Regina smirks at him and walks over to the empty seat near Emma. She holds the back of the empty chair and drags it through the grass, making sure that enough distance is put between her and Emma. Emma lets out a loud sigh and stares at Regina unabashedly. The brunette can feel the blonde's eyes burning into the side of her face but she refuses to make eye contact with the girl. It's too dangerous.
"Can we please stop this now?" Emma pleads with Regina. Regina lets out an exasperated sigh and shakes her head, refusing to meet Emma's gaze. "Why are you being like this? It was just a kiss. I mean, we're married for god sakes! We've seen each other naked plenty of times, we live together, and we even share the same bed and wardrobe, things were never this awkward before, so why is everything suddenly so awkward and tense now?" Emma questions. Regina continues to avoid the blonde's gaze but decides to answer her, nonetheless.
"Because this is different."
"How is this different from anything else I've listed?"
"Because it just is, Emma! Just drop it." Regina says in a frustrated tone.
"Was it really necessary for you to sleep in the stables last night? I don't bite, Regina. I don't have some contagious disease. You could have stayed in the house, you know. I would have taken the couch and you could have had the bed." Emma says quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. Regina tries not to feel guilty, but it's hard not to when Emma looks at her like that. So sad…and disappointed. Regina knows that she is overreacting, but she can't help it. Overreacting is part of her nature, but so is stubbornness. But after her awful experience last night, sleeping on the uncomfortable hay, Regina realizes that she doesn't want to deal with that again.
"I'll take the couch tonight. You can have the bed." Regina says simply. Emma studies the girl for a moment and lets out a dejected "okay".
"Back to practice, ladies!" Archibald says to the girls from across the field.
Regina removes the back cushions from the couch and places them on the floor, more than ready to just curl up and fall asleep. She places her pillow on one end of the couch and lays down on it, spreading her blanket over herself. The nights are starting to get colder and the wind is starting to blow harder. Winter should be coming soon and Regina absolutely dreads it. She hates the cold temperatures, but she hates the snow even more. The feel of the frozen rain on her skin and hair, irritates her beyond belief. She's never been sure why that is, but she has a feeling it has to do with a childhood memory that is most likely hidden somewhere in the back of her mind. A distant memory that is locked in a part of her brain that she has no access to. She sighs to herself as she turns on her side, snuggling her head further into her pillow. She knows that now is not the time for her to be thinking about her unexplained hatred for winter, now is the time for her to fall into a deep slumber. A slumber in which she can escape, one, Emma White. Because, lately, Emma has been the only thing on her mind and it scares her. It scares her greatly. Without any further thoughts to provoke her, now, dozing form, Regina falls into a deep, yet welcome, slumber.
A few feet away from Regina's, now, slumbering form, in the bedroom, is Emma. Emma can't stop tossing and turning. As comfortable as her bed is, she can't seem to find a comfortable position to lay in. She wonders if Regina is fairing any better on the lumpy couch in the living room. And then it suddenly clicks for her; Regina is what's missing. The presence of Regina in the bed is what helps Emma sleep at night. The blonde chuckles at herself in amusement as she realizes how clueless she's been. She should have known that her feelings for Regina weren't platonic all along. Do all friends need to snuggle up to one another in order to fall asleep? As far as she knows, the answer is: no. Emma continues her struggle at finding a comfortable positon to sleep in until she just stops trying altogether. Without giving it a second thought, Emma grabs her blanket and her pillow and marches out into the living room. As she approaches the sofa, she sees a peacefully slumbering, Regina. Emma stares at the girl's sleeping face for a moment with a small smile and shakes herself out of her creepy staring.
She takes note of the absence of worry lines and downturned lips on the brunette's face. The hard mask that has been on the other girl's face throughout the day, has vanished. What Emma sees is a teenage girl, who was truly at peace, with no care in the world. Emma wishes that Regina's face could like that when she was conscious. The girl has a habit of worrying too much and making things more complicated than they should be. Even though those traits can be annoying, Emma wouldn't change a thing about her. I'm so pathetic. Emma thinks to herself.
Emma decides to line up the discarded sofa cushions on the floor, using them as a makeshift bed. She lies down near the couch, snuggling up as close to Regina as possible.
"I hope that one day you can admit that you feel for me, what I'm beginning to feel for you." Emma whispers quietly to Regina's sleeping form, sleep overcoming the blonde just moments later. If she wasn't sure of it before, then she was sure of it now. Emma needs Regina to fall asleep…and if she's being honest, she may need Regina for a lot more than just that.