Chapter Thirty-One
Axel is in a sour mood for the duration of the train ride to Twilight Town on the 22nd of September, but he keeps an arm around my shoulder. I take this as a good sign.
"Are you mad at me?" I ask, looking up at him. He doesn't return my gaze, but he shakes his head.
"No. Just not looking forward to this," he answers.
"Fair enough," I say with a sigh, letting the conversation drop.
When we arrive, I glance at the clock in the station. 2:55 p.m. I pick up the pace, Axel trailing just behind me, to get to the café on time. We walk in just a few minutes past three, and I scan the room. Immediately, I know who I'm there to see. I tug on Axel's sleeve.
"Axel, over there," I whisper, motioning with my eyes. He scowls.
"I told you this was a trap," he hisses. I shake my head.
"I don't think it is. Come on," I say, walking towards the guard who let us into the castle a few weeks ago. Axel has no choice but to follow. I sit down opposite the guard with Axel soon sitting next to me. He gives us a tentative smile.
"I didn't think you'd come," he says. His voice is soft, smooth, worried.
"Well, I'm here," I say awkwardly. He clears his throat.
"Of course. You want to know why you're here. Your brother, he's not really the one who's in charge at the castle," he says. My eyes widen, and I give Axel a look that says 'I told you so.'
"Who is?" I ask, my palms getting clammy. He fixes me with a penetrating stare.
"Your sister," he answers, confirming my theory.
"And she has her own guards, doesn't she?" I ask. He nods gravely. "How many?"
"Approximately three of her own, but I fear many of the castle guards would defend her if…if something happened," he says with a significant air. I understand what he's insinuating.
"How many wouldn't?" His eyes glaze over as though calculating before answering.
"I don't know exactly. I feel fairly certain the odds would be tipped in her favor, but not by much," he says. I nod.
"Is there a way I can reach you after this?" I ask quietly. He nods with a small smile. He pulls a pen out of his shirt pocket and scribbles an address on a napkin.
"This is my sister's address. She'll make sure anything you send gets to me safely." I take the napkin, nod again, and smile at the man.
"Thank you. Unless there's anything else you need to tell me, I think we'll be going now," I say. He shakes his head.
"Nothing more. I hope to hear from you soon," he says, standing up with me.
"I think you will," I say, extending a hand to shake his. He clasps both hands over mine and shakes with gusto.
"Thank you for coming," he says with a smile. I nod.
"Thank you for setting it up," I reply before turning and leaving the café. Axel and I walk in silence, ride the train home in silence, spend the car ride from the station to the house in silence, and walk to separate rooms in silence. I'm too engulfed in my own thoughts to really notice, though. I plop down on the couch in the living room to sort through them.
My theory was right. Larxene is controlling Demyx, but there are at least a few people who would support me if I tried to do something about it. We would be outnumbered, but not by too much. There have been plenty of times where the outnumbered win the war. Is that what this is going to be? A war? I frown at the thought. I don't want an actual fight to break out, but what other option is there? Larxene isn't going to just surrender after a stern talking to. She probably wouldn't even listen to said talk. Knowing her, she'll just go straight for blood. She'd have to be the primary target. Take her out, and her followers will probably surrender. I bite my lip hard. Could I really kill my own sister?
"I know what you're thinking," Axel's voice says bitterly from the doorway. I jump and swivel around to look at him. He's leaning against the frame, his arms crossed, and he's glaring at me. I furrow my eyebrows.
"Axel, what's wrong?" I ask. The thought of him possibly being angry never entered my mind. Thinking about it now, though, I feel stupid for not realizing he'd be mad.
"What's wrong? What's wrong, Iris?" He says my name acidly. "Oh, I don't know. Let's think about it," he starts walking towards me. "Ever since you found out what's going on, you've been filling your head with these stupid thoughts about saving the world. I can see it in your eyes now. You're trying to come up with some plan to take your sister down to free your brother so you can claim the throne and set everything right so everyone can live happily ever after with rainbows and fucking bunnies," he spats, now directly in front of me. He leans down, placing his hands on the couch on either side of my head. His face is inches from mine, and the fire in his eyes is terrifying; I can practically feel it burning my face.
"Axel," I whimper. "You're scar-"
"Scaring you?" he hisses. "Good! If you find me scary right now, just imagine how you'd feel if you actually went through with your insane plans. You won't last two seconds in an actual fight. Your sister and all her guards will destroy you before you can blink. It's time to let go of all this. It's time for you to get it through your thick skull that there is nothing you can do. You will be here, where you're safe, forever, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner we can be happy again," he finishes. I stare into his burning eyes and feel my heart hardening towards him.
"You are the most selfish person I've ever met," I whisper hotly. He blinks, taken aback, before scowling at me.
"I'm selfish? I'm the one being selfish here, Iris? Wake up!" he shouts, pushing away from me and pacing the floor. "I'm trying to keep you from signing your own execution papers! I'm trying to keep you alive and safe! You're the one who doesn't give a fuck about everything I've done and am trying to do for you! You're the one trying to throw away what we finally have together! All you're thinking about is what you want!" he yells, throwing his hands into the air. I push myself off the couch to glower at him.
"I'm trying to fix an entire kingdom, Axel! I'm thinking about all the other people out there affected by what's going on! I want to help make their lives go back to normal, yet I'm the one being selfish and only thinking about myself? It sounds to me like you're the one only thinking about themselves! You don't even care about everyone else whose lives aren't as fabulous as yours! You don't give a damn if they live or die as long as your life isn't affected. Sure, you're trying to keep me alive and safe, but you're not actually thinking about what I want!" I shout back.
"You want to die, Iris? Is that what you want? Because I promise that's what will happen if you try to do anything!"
"You know what? I might die, sure. But at least I'll be dying for something that's important to me! You know where you'll be, though, Axel? You'll be here…in your big house with all your money, safe and sound and pathetic. Because you're a coward, Axel. You're a scared, spineless, coward," I say lowly, glaring at him with as much venom I can muster. He clenches his fists, glaring back at me, and I've never seen him look angrier. A silence engulfs us before he finally speaks.
"Fine. You win, Iris. Go pack your shit, have Renton take you to the train station, and do whatever the hell you want. And you know where I'll be? I'll be here in my big house with all my money, safe and sound and smart, waiting for you to come crawling back when you come to your senses. Don't expect to be met with a warm welcome, though," he says quietly. Shock runs through me.
"What?" I ask, not comprehending what he's saying.
"Did I stutter? Go pack your shit and leave and go do whatever you think you have to do. I don't know why I fucking bothered buying you from that market. I don't know why I bothered caring about you and giving you everything you could want. I don't know why I bothered falling in love with you. I guess I'm just a fucking idiot, so you know what? This is me coming to my senses: get the hell out of my house," he hisses. I narrow my eyes in the most scathing glare I can manage, trying to hide the hurt all over my face.
"Fine," I say. "I'll send you a postcard when I've fixed everything." I turn on my heel and stalk out of the room to pack up some necessities, blinking the tears from my eyes. When I'm done, Renton is waiting at the front door for me, and Axel's leaning against the opposite wall, his expression unreadable. I fix him with another glare before walking out the door.
I don't look back.