Author's Note: Thanks to jkane180 for beta'ing my ass, and to mac214 (2nd beta), wordslinger, bforqueen and hez_pixie for the pre-reads.
Liability disclaimer: Please do not lynch me for this chapter. This is an E/B fic but Jake will figure into the story. He has to. I have an outline that says so.
Facebook Status: Gone Fishin'
This is why fishing is just a crap idea: it requires getting up at the ass crack of dawn.
Charlie had insisted on driving the wretched truck. It coughed and sputtered and horked up oil, reminding me of my sick old grandmother's smoke-addled breathing when she was near the end of the road. Gramma Swan died from emphysema last year, and it was a relief. Fuck, not that I wished her dead or anything—it's just that it seemed like she was always dying from something or another; it was nice to no longer be at the edge of my seat waiting for her to finally kick the proverbial bucket, since she had been taking half-assed swipes at it my entire life.
Shit or get off the pot or whatever.
I caught sight of my hollowed out face in the rearview. Like Gramma Swan, I too was slowly disintegrating.
"You gonna be quiet the whole afternoon?"
"Huh?" I pulled one of my earbuds out.
"I was asking you a question, Bells."
"Sorry. What was the question?"
"Will you be nice to Jake? He's really excited to see you."
"C'mon, Dad! Don't start that shit again. If you want Billy to be part of your family, you're going to have to nut up and marry him yourself!"
"He'd treat you real nice, Bells," Charlie argued, unfazed.
"He's way too young."
"He's only a year younger than you!"
Fuck, men were stupid. "That's like dog years where boys are concerned," I explained, cringing as we pulled into the fishing village of La Push proper. "Technically, he's at least seven years my junior. He's just a kid." It had been about four years since I'd seen him in the flesh, but Jake and I just weren't like that.
"That's hardly fair. The last few years haven't been easy since the twins went away to college. Jake takes care of Billy, goes to school, and works part time. That's a lot of responsibility for a kid his age."
I rearranged my expression into what I hoped was a look of incredulity. "What's with the whole Yenta act? I'm no good for any boy right now. I've just got no interest in hooking up," I added, much to Charlie's chagrin. Of course, the statement was a blatant lie. I had every interest in the world of hooking up with Mr. Sex-hair, but since my first impression consisted of blowing a snot clot onto his shoe and bolting, chances were I wasn't going to be seducing him anytime soon.
"I just want you to be better... not sick anymore." Charlie cut the engine and wrenched the parking brake up as he spoke, stuttering over his words. "I just... I don't know how we could have fucked up so bad with you that you'd do that shit to yourself."
"Dad," I said slowly. "I didn't... I mean, yeah, maybe I wanted to, but I couldn't have gone through with it."
"I just don't get it."
Fuck, I really didn't want to have this conversation right now—or at all, for that matter. "Could we not do this? I'm fine." Charlie didn't seem convinced, his eyes following a path along my shirt sleeve to my wrist. Yeah, the telltale scar on my arm did nothing to help persuade him I was well-balanced. Meh, I couldn't be expected to placate him; I mean, I was the one who was off-kilter. Throwing my hands up in surrender, I said rather petulantly, "Look, Charlie: this is me taking my Effexor," and scrambled for my huge-ass bottle of red horse pills.
"I'll get some water from the cooler."
I gave Charlie my patented eye-roll, opened the Tweetdeck app on my phone, and expertly typed away at the screen.
OMFG jblack180 – save me! We just arrived.
"Don't bother with the water. I got it!"Swallowing the pill dry, I nearly made a joke about my stellar gag reflex but then decided I'd already put my father through enough trauma for one lifetime. Also, I had become distracted by the fact that I couldn't open the car door. Fucking crap heap! The door seemed to have rusted shut on the drive, welding to the frame like a wound that had healed over along the cut, essentially mending the seam. I kicked at it several times until the fucker finally separated from the chassis. My luck did not improve upon exiting. The exact moment I jumped out, a black cloud descended upon me. No, not the depressive kind; the swarmy kind. Mosquitoes attacked what little exposed skin my modest t-shirt revealed. Cursing, I lifted the hem of my tee, revealing large flies under the material. I squealed like an asshole and lifted my shirt higher, shaking terrible, winged creatures out. "What the fuck?"
"The black flies are out," Charlie mused with a smirk. "They seem to really like you."
Excellent. After eighteen years of life, I'd finally achieved some sort of popularity. "Well, tell them to stop," I squeaked, swatting at my stomach.
"Calm down, Bells. I brought Deet. I'll spray you down."
"Give me that!" Forgetting modesty, and the fact that I was wearing a ratty old bra, I tore the shirt from my body and sprayed a mustard cloud of Deet over my torso until I was certain every last fly had flown the coup.
"Nice rack!" a deep, male voice cat-called.
"Thanks," I muttered, feeling every inch of my body blush over with hot shame. Fuck, I didn't want to raise my head. Instead, I glared at my feet and folded my arms over my breasts.
"Bells? Why did you take your shirt off?" Charlie asked from behind the truck.
"Shut the fuck up!" I muttered, squirming. I was fairly certain I was still being ogled by a random weirdo.
"Hey, don't ask her to get dressed on my account." The asshole started guffawing.
"Fuck you!" I cursed, balling my fists into my hips, thus revealing my sad little titties. I opened my mouth to let fly a scathing and witty retort; however, I found myself unable to process thought into language at the sight of said random asshole.
Holy fucking crow!
Approaching me, still laughing, was the second hottest man I'd ever seen in my pathetic life (the first hottest was Sex-hair, but faced with the blatant brawn of the warrior in front of me, it was hard to keep score). He took long strides toward me, clearing seemingly ten feet with each one, his low-slung jeans falling lower on his hips with every step and revealing a defined, bronzed 'V' I'd give my left ovary to touch.
Did I mention he was shirtless? Yeah, he totally was. His skin was dark, unmarred by hair or noticeable blemishes, and taut over large, defined muscle. Oh my fuck, I wanted to lick him or hump his leg... maybe both.
"Hey," I managed to whisper.
"Hi," he replied, standing maybe two feet away from me, flashing his white teeth in a blinding smile. Shit, I wished he'd touch me. Well, maybe he was a mind reader or I'd finally cashed in what little cosmic credit I had amassed because suddenly I found myself encased in an enthusiastic embrace. "Fuck, I missed you, old lady," he laughed, lifting me off the ground and burying his face in my hair.
"Huh?"
"C'mon, indulge me, Bells. Give me a little hug?"
"J-Jake?"
"Yeah?"
"Is that you?" Um, did I mention I still had no shirt on? His skin was so hot against my own. I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered, "I've missed you so much," into his neck.
"Fuck, I've missed you too, Bells."
For the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt calm.
-({})-
"You have a mean left hook for a skinny white girl." Jake's idiot friend, Embry rubbed his jaw where I had struck him.
"Dude, you totally grabbed my ass. That shit is just not okay." I stopped talking to take a pull off the joint Jake offered, but I sputtered and choked as soon as the smoke hit my lungs. "What the fuck is in this?"
His friends laughed their respective asses off at my obvious lack of experience. "It's just weed," Jake smirked. "Don't worry about it, Bells. I shouldn't be getting you high."
"Yeah, man. Get her drunk so I can goose her again."
"Fuck you!" Jacob shoved Embry; however, he was grinning playfully.
"Way to defend my honour, ass monkey." Honestly, I was tired of being the butt of people's jokes. Jumping to my feet, it was my intention to run away from the bonfire and find my father, but Jake grabbed my arm and pulled me into a clumsy embrace.
"Forgive me?" he pleaded while I glowered.
"No."
"Wanna go for a walk?"
"No."
"I'll blow you a super?"
"Well, okay."
The rez boys hooted and hollered as Jake and I departed. Really clever shit too, like, "Do her!"
I waved my middle finger in reply.
"Sorry, Bells. They don't know that we're not like that."
My stomach plummeted to my toes. "Right." What was wrong with me? Why did his comment disappoint me so much? "I mean, that would be pretty stupid if we hooked up. Like incest or something."
"What? No!"
I shook my head and examined my hands. "Well, I mean, we've been friends forever and stuff."
"Do you really think of me like your brother?"
"I dunno. I'm an only child. Maybe before..."
We stopped walking.
"Before?"
"Yeah," I swallowed thickly. "Before you grew up and looked like this," I explained, motioning at him.
"You like the way I look?"
"You're alright, I guess." This was so bloody humiliating. I had no real experience with boys, and my only sexual experience was too disgusting to allow myself to think about.
"Bells... if you like me I'm going to need some sort of signal. You've always made it pretty clear you only wanted to be friends."
"Okay."
"Okay, what?"
"I'll give you a signal," I said cryptically.
"Oh... okay."
"Blow me a super, Jake."
He turned the joint so the burner sat precariously close to his tongue and hunched down to meet my lips with his. I inhaled cautiously at first and then deeply when I noticed the noxious edge of the smoke was gone now. My head swam, and my ears rang.
"Do it again, but this time, just pass the smoke," I instructed.
He pulled a cloud into his mouth and lowered his head to mine, passing the cloud over my tongue. It burned a trail down my throat, and my nipples hardened at the proximity of his lips. Somewhere between my legs, my dormant pussy stirred to life and started screaming at me to make a move.
"Jake," I wheezed, expelling the smoke from my lungs.
"Yeah?"
"Signal."
"Fuck," he groaned as the realization of my word sunk in. His mouth swiped against mine in a tentative kiss. I parted my lips and ran my tongue over his until I felt his mouth open and the kiss deepen. An embarrassing moan tore through me, and he pulled away, a frown creasing across his forehead.
"You're high."
"You're sexy." I attacked him, wrapping my arms around his neck and forcing him to lift me up his body. My thighs clung to his hips, and I kissed up his neck.
"Fuck," he groaned and rubbed my back. I felt him harden between my thighs, and I moaned again. "I want you so much, Bells."
My lust suddenly transformed into raw panic.
Want me like what?
"Fuck me, Bella, I want you," he repeated, bucking into my hips.
"No!" I squirmed and pushed him away with the heel of my palm.
"Wait, Bells. I didn't mean it like that."
"Let go of me!"
"I didn't mean to say 'fuck me' as in I wanted you to... I mean, I do want you to, but not like this."
"No." I wrenched myself away from his kiss and struggled to get back down on the ground.
"Bells? Talk to me, okay? What did I do wrong?" He let go of me and pleaded with his eyes, looking much like a dejected puppy.
"Nothing, okay? It's me, Jake. I'm all kinds of fucked up. I can't just make-out like a normal girl without thinking about some terrible shit."
"Talk to me about it, then."
"No. I'm no good for you, Jake. That kiss was epic dumb of me."
"Wait!"
But I didn't. For the second time in two days, I ran away from a sex-god.
Fate had teased me with the prospect of happiness, and I fell for it, hook, line and sinker.
Author's Note: OMG, I'm so excited about the positive response I've gotten thus far. Um, more please?