A/N: Hello there wemma fans! Here I am once again! This is another depressing chapter but maybe if you guys want I can do a spin off story about this chapter but fix the ending so its more fluffy? Well let me know what you think about that!
What if: Will had chased after Emma during that last scene in Vitamin D and confessed his feelings?
Emma quickly walked away from the locker room, her eyes closed tightly and her hands in fists at her side. She took slow, deep even breaths as she made her way down the hall and towards her office.
She could not believe she had just agreed to marry Ken Tanaka. At the beginning of the school year, she never would have thought she'd be where she was. She never thought she would be engaged.
Even though it was sometimes painful she was perfectly content to love Will Schuester from afar, everyday hoping, daring, dreaming that he'd leave his wife and come to her.
Those dreams were shot to hell when she received the news that he and his wife were expecting a baby. Still she did everything she could to keep him at the school even though it probably would have been better for her if he did leave. However, in the past two years she found that she didn't how she could have lived the first 28 years without him in her life. Even if Will could never be hers romantically, she at least wanted, no needed to see his face everyday.
She wasn't just doing it for herself though, Will didn't really seem too pleased about having to leave his teaching job or his newly found glee club. Emma knew that Will loved his job as a teacher and he always was interested in music. Emma would constantly catch him standing outside the choir room, sighing wistfully as he listened to Sandy Ryerson try to coach the few kids in glee club.
So it was not just to make conversation with Will that Emma brought up the topic of Sandy being fired. As soon as she heard the news she planned to tell Will straight away so he could swoop in there and rightfully coach those kids.
Will was so incredibly happy when he was finally named director of glee club that it broke her heart when he told her that he was leaving.
Although selfish reasons were involved, the main reason she tried to keep Will at the school was because she wanted to see his happiness. She would have let him go if she thought it was what he really wanted but his "Come on, accounting is sexy" line didn't win her over. She was half tempted to say that teaching was even more sexy but she held it back.
Will had left the faculty lounge with slumped shoulders explaining that he still had to do what he had to do to provide for his family and he'd still be leaving. With a heavy heart Emma let him go.
Nearly a half an hour after that, just as Emma was about to leave, Will appeared in her doorway with a smile lighting his handsome features. Her heart did its usual flip flop at the sight of him but she had to admit she was a little confused as to why he was there.
He explained that half due to her and half due to the glee club he would not be leaving McKinley. Emma tried to hide her relief and happiness that he would not be leaving but she was sure that it showed clearly on her face.
Then Will had hugged her. Words could not describe how wonderful it felt to be in his arms. She fit snugly into his chest like it was a perfect fit, like her body was molded to fit his. His voice whispering a thanks into her ear sent shivers down her spine.
He gave her another heart warming smile as he left the room and Emma knew that she had fallen in love with him all over again.
She pushed her romantic feelings away for the next couple of months just being Will's best friend. She went to all of his acafella's shows and couldn't help but be annoyed with Will's wife who would sit in the back looking as if she has better places to be.
When Kurt joined the football team, Will told her he'd be going to his first game to support one of his glee kids. Emma usually had no interest in going to a football game. It was noisy and dirty and full of people. When she learned that Will was going however, she went out of her way to spend time with him. She tried to convince herself that she went to both of those events for Ken's sake but she knew the truth and she figured that Ken did too.
For once in the two years she'd been working at McKinley, Emma found herself annoyed at Will. It was around the time of their first invitational and Will had forced her into digging up a former student and then he'd invited said former student to join the glee club. Emma didn't like the fact that April was corrupting the glee kids and she was corrupting Will's brain as well. April was beautiful, Emma had to admit that, and she had spunk. April had Will under her drunk spell, he was blinded by the crush he had on her in high school and only Emma could see the truth. Will was taking away opportunities for the kids and giving them to April Rhodes who Emma was convinced was drunk twenty four seven.
Emma attended the invitational to be a supportive best friend but as the show continued she found herself more and more annoyed with April and with Will. When the second act started, Will had sat down next to her and flashed her a smile. Although she was still annoyed with him, her heart still fluttered and she returned the smile.
As the curtain went down and Rachel came on stage with April nowhere in sight, Emma felt all her annoyance wash away. Will had done the right thing. She knew that he would. Their performance was quite possibly the most beautiful performance she had ever seen.
Her silly feelings had only grown with time and when Will stuck his tongue out to try to lap up the mustard that had fallen in his cute Kirk Douglas chin dimple, her stomach flip flopped. Through the glove on her hand she could feel the spark that came from touching Will.
Then when Will had asked her to judge a competition between the glee kids and she felt on top of the world. Will had asked her to be a judge, Will valued her opinion in one of the most important things in his life. Her high had quickly come to an end when she heard an unfamiliar voice enter the picture. A blonde stood in the doorway and Emma felt her heart plummet deep down into her chest when Will muttered his wife's name. That beautiful blonde was Will's wife? She didn't stand a chance, she wasn't even in the same league as the beautiful Terri Schuester.
Then Ken had asked her to marry him and she was incredibly close to turning down his offer until Terri came into her office and explained that she had no chance with her husband, with Will. Emma knew that Terri was right despite her harshness.
So, with much reluctance, Emma had agreed to marry the overweight football coach.
Her heart clenched painfully and she pushed back violent tears. She did not want to marry Ken Tanaka, she didn't want anything to do with Ken Tanaka. She only wanted one person. One curly headed, handsome spanish teacher.
A whimper escaped her lips and she covered her mouth with her hand. There was no around to hear her but she kept telling herself that she would not cry. She'd never be Will's, so there was no use crying over it. Ken was a good man, he'd be kind to her, he'd be a good husband.
Once Emma reached her office, she locked herself in the glass room and sat at her desk, finally releasing the tears that were threatening to spill. She buried her head in her hands and cried for minutes on end.
After nearly ten minutes the tears stopped falling but Emma remained still. If she moved she'd be brought back to reality. A reality that she did not want to be in. She much rather be in an alternate universe. One where Will was single, she was not afraid to touch anything or anyone without sanitizing it first, one where she could be together with Will.
Abruptly, Emma stood. She could not be in that office anymore. She needed to get out of the school and fast. Without even bothering to organize the papers on her desk and put them away, she grabbed her bag and hurried out of the room.
She needed to get home and get her mind off of school, get her mind off of Will, get her mind off of Ken. She couldn't handle the heart break anymore, the pain was starting to get unbearable. She was planning to go home and submerse herself in cleaning. She cleaned her apartment nearly everyday but when she was particularly upset she cleaned and scrubbed until she practically passed out from exhaustion and that was what she was going to do.
That was until she spotted a flash of navy blue out of the corner of her eye. She automatically turned her head and her eyes landed on the tense back of the object of her affections.
Her breath caught in her chest and her heart fluttered. Why did he always have to have that effect on her?
She felt a twinge of concern at seeing her best friend obviously distraught about something but it was overcome by the sudden urge to tell him what had happened not too long ago.
She didn't know why she wanted to tell Will that she was engaged, it was throwing in the white towel. Not that mattered to him, though. He'd never return her feelings.
Emma took a deep breathe and called out to him, "Will!"
Will turned around and his frustrated face quickly melted into a smile and started walking towards her.
Emma closed her eyes briefly and then pushed herself forward until she was standing a foot away from him. She could feel his eyes staring at her, burning through to her heart but she refused to meet his eyes. "I wanted you to um, to hear this from me."
Out of the corners of her vision she could see that Will's face fell considerable. She bravely glanced up at him and he nodded for her to continue. She took a deep breathe, "You know Ken um, asked me to marry him..." Her chest clenched painfully at the look on his face. "I said yes." She blurted out.
Will avoided her gaze for a moment, his face washing over with emotion. "That's..." He trailed off for only a few seconds but the pause felt like it would never end. "That's great." He tried to sound enthusiastic but his voice was dead.
Emma felt her heart break into tiny little pieces. 'That's great?' is that all he could say? Emma shook her head slowly then turned it into a nod for Will's sake. What more could he say? There was nothing for him to say. He was married himself, why did she dare hope for anything from him other than to wish her well in her new life?
Before Emma completely broke down in front of him, she turned around without another word and started to walk down the hall. She wanted to run but her feet wouldn't move any faster than a slow walk. She could feel her cheeks burning in embarrassment and tears pricking angrily at her eyes.
She knew that Will was still standing where she had left him, she could feel his presence in the room. For once in her life, Emma wanted Will to go away. She wished he would just disappear so she could be saved from her heart break. It wasn't fair that he had such a spell upon her.
She started to switch her thoughts away from Will and back to planning to clean her apartment from top to bottom when she heard her name echo throughout the hall.
At first she thought she thought she had imagined it. There were many times she had dreamed about Will calling her name and confessing his feelings. She paused, waiting for a sign of confirmation that it was real.
She heard footsteps quickly approaching her and she whirled around wide eyed. Will was jogging towards her, his bag discarded on the floor down the hall.
Emma didn't know what to do, she didn't know what to say, this was truly something out of her dreams. She blinked back tears not being able to move any other part of her body.
Will caught up to her, paused to stand in front of her and locked eyes with her. "You can't marry Ken." The serious, desperate tone to his voice sent her heart fluttering.
Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Why not?" She whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
Will looked taken aback and he opened his mouth slightly, then it snapped closed and a wave of all different emotions crossed his face. He shifted on his feet and looked at her hesitantly, "I...do you love him Emma?"
Emma felt her heart sink and she bit her lip lightly to keep from crying. She shrugged slightly, "Ken is a good man." She bit out slowly, trying to look anywhere but his face.
Will sighed heavily. "I know that Emma, but do you love him?"
Emma lifted her eyes to meet Will's and she remained silent, not knowing how to answer that. No, she did know how to answer that. The answer was no. A thousand times no. She did not love Ken. But she'd never admit that to Will.
Will shook his head, reading right through her. "You shouldn't marry someone you don't love Emma. I don't want you to be stuck in a loveless marriage like m..." He cut himself off sharply, biting down hard on his bottom lip and a flicker of pain flashed through his eyes.
Emma's mouth fell open in silent shock. Was he really about to say what she thought he was about to say? Was Will just about to say he was caught in a loveless marriage? A flicker of hope arose in Emma's heart and her eyes questioned him.
Will looked like he was struggling with his thoughts as he continued to bite down hard on his lip. He shook his head slowly and sighed, finally releasing his lip from its dental hold.
"I just don't want you to be unhappy, Emma." He finally spoke, his voice soft.
The flicker of hope had just been extinguished with a pail of water. Emma visibly slumped and she shook her head, averting her gaze from him. "I'll be fine Will." She whispered with a hint of bitterness in her voice. "You don't have to worry about me."
Without another glance at him she started to turn away but Will stopped her with a touch to the arm. Emma closed her eyes tightly and with a deep breathe, turned back to Will. "Will," her voice shook as she spoke his name, turning her eyes up to meet his, "I'm going to marry Ken." She nodded with fake confidence and then she added, "Unless you can come up with a real reason why I shouldn't."
She pulled away from his touch, ignoring the crestfallen look on his face and started to walk down the hall and away from him. She walked slowly, waiting, hoping that he'd say something to convince her not to marry Ken. The journey down the hallway seemed torturously slow. She was more than halfway down the hallway when the call finally came.
"I love you."
Emma halted to a stop so quickly she nearly lost her balance. Her heart took off like a rocket, tears flooded her round, brown eyes and she slowly turned around to face him.
"What?" She whispered so low she didn't think Will had even heard it. Will started to walk towards her slowly but then he picked up his pace so he could reach her faster.
The look in his eyes as they locked onto hers proved that what she had heard was totally and one hundred percent real.
"I love you." He repeated and her heart swelled in her chest. "That's why you can't marry Ken."
"Will." His name barely escaped her lips. She was so shocked that she could barely move yet her whole body was shaking.
Will lifted his hand and took a piece of her flipped bangs in between his fingers and brushed it back slowly. Heat flooded through Emma's body as Will's fingertips brushed against her scalp.
Then his palm came to rest on her cheek and the warmth from his hand burned her skin and took her breathe away. Will's other hand found her opposite cheek and Emma felt like she had just been lit to flames.
Will's hands tilted her face upwards and she willingly complied with his actions. Her eyes fluttered, blinking away the moisture that was threatening to fall.
A small gasp passed Emma's lip as Will's face started to descend towards hers. Her eyes remained glued to him until the last moment. His lips softly brushed against hers and Emma immediately melted under his touch. The kiss was barely anything at all, just a quick brush against the lips and Emma felt a strange sense of loss when it was over. She whined quietly and gripped his arms lightly. Seconds later Will's lips were on hers again, this time just a little more forcefully.
Her arms fell limp at her sides and her mind reeled at the kiss. She always thought that when people said they saw stars or heard fireworks when they kissed somebody they were completely over exaggerating. She had kissed men before and the only thing that came out of it was her wanting to brush her teeth for ten minutes.
With Will, she felt everything. There were fireworks, there were bells, her mind was a jumble of bright colors exploding everywhere, her body had lit to flames starting at the lips.
What seemed like only mere milliseconds later, Will broke the kiss. Emma felt the warmth leave her body but her mind was still spinning. Finally her eyes fluttered open and she was met with the gorgeous hazel eyes of Will Schuester.
Will's hands drifted off of her cheeks and Emma immediately missed the contact. However, without Will touching her she was snapped harshly back into reality.
"Will." She whispered and backed up a few steps. Will's brow furrowed in confusion and he held out a hand towards her. She shook her head slowly, her eyes never leaving him.
"You're married Will." She whimpered and Will's face fell considerably. "You're having a baby." Her voice cracked and Will's hand fell to his side. "We can't.." She shook her head, turning her gaze to the floor, letting a single tear fall and hit the tile.
"Emma..." His tone was unlike anything Emma ever heard from him. She covered her mouth with her hand and turned away from him, stifling a whimper.
"Don't marry Ken." His soft voice pleaded with her.
Emma whirled around to face him hysterically. "What do you me to do Will?" She cried, tears cascading down her cheeks and he winced at her sharp tone. "You're married, you're going to have a family! You can't...we can't..." She shook her head and rolled her eyes towards the ceiling pushing back tears. "I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life." She continued in a quieter tone.
"You don't have to be." He spoke passionately.
"If I don't marry Ken, I will." She told him with a fierce nod. Her lips trembled as she took a few deep breaths. "The only person that I will ever truly love is you." She admitted and a look of shock crossed Will's face. "I'll never love Ken, that's true, but he'll be good to me. He'll be a good husband and that's all I could ask for because what I really want is never going to happen." Her words came out in squeaks as she started crying more fiercely.
Through her tears Emma could see the pain and longing on Will's face and knew that his expression mirrored her own.
She had waited for so long to hear those words out of Will's mouth. He had finally said them, he had finally told her that he loved her, that he felt the same way that she did...and she couldn't do anything about it. She absolutely refused to be the other woman, knowing it would hurt ten times worse then not having Will at all. It might be selfish but Emma wanted Will all to herself...she didn't want to be on the sidelines, sitting around at home while Will went home to his wife and daughter. She would not be that woman.
Through all the pain she still came to realize that she was relieved to know that Will did feel the same way. At least then she wouldn't be so alone. They'd pine for each other secretly but that was all it could be.
She heard a heavy sigh pass Will's lips and her heart shattered, knowing he had given in. It pained her to think that they could never be when she knew now that there was a chance that they could be.
"Emma." His voice sent shivers down her spine. "If I could change the world..." He trailed off and Emma nodded silently. She sent him a sad smile and then turned and continued to walk down the hallway, not daring to look back.
Once she was out of the hallway, she sprinted out of the front doors and ran to her car, faster than she ever could have in heels. She pulled the door open and shoved the key into the ignition.
Her car radio turned on with the car and she burst into hysterical sobs as fate stepped in.
"...I would be the sunlight in your universe. You would think my love was really something good baby if I could change the world."
A/n: Talk about emotional. Sorry this look so long. I had SUCH a block for this chapter it wasn't even funny. I started this way before the last chapters were even posted and I had to write the other chapters because my mind laughed at me and said "No ideas for you!" But I shut that voice up and produced this!
The song used at the end of this chapter is 'Change The World' by Eric Clapton and although I used it for a different context in this story, I REALLY want Will to sing it to Emma in Season 2!
So, tell me what you think!