Sooooo

Long time, no Battle Worn, eh?

Reeeeaaally sorry about that, I had that play I mentioned, then I was doing camp Nanowrimo which took over my writing time COMPLETELY!

Then just when I finish that I'm going to Idaho for a writing conference!

So needless to say, I've slacked on updating :P

The conference was a blast, I learned so much and got to meet/talk to one of my favorite authors EVER, who I also got an autograph from, so it was super helpful and just amazing

But now that that's over I'm going to be cracking down harder on writing, and hopefully you'll see some improvement in how my writing is :P

So anyway, this chapter we'll be seeing the pregame drama, and then the beginning of the games! Dun, dun, dun!

It's going to be one hell of a ride, so grab your tissues and sponsor forums and buckle in!

Chapter Twenty-seven: A Game no children should ever play.

Once we step onto our floor, Dash plants a kiss on my head and says quietly. "Try to get some rest, I'll see you in the morning."

I nod and give his hand a squeeze before watching him stride to his room.

I rub my face, realizing just how tired I really am, and head to my bedroom, trying to put thoughts of the morning out of my mind.

The moment I'm in my room, I peel off my heels, toss them toward the closet and head for the bathroom. It was going to take a full shower to clean all this makeup and hairspray off.

As the warm water cascades onto me in a gentle but firm stream, I feel the stress in my muscles slowly relax, and the water seems to bring a sense of calm as it washes over me. It feels so good to just let myself relax and breathe, pushing everything from my mind but the sound of the water and steady beat of my heart.

But like all good moments, it had to come to an end, and with a sigh I open my eyes and turn the water off before stepping out of the shower and wrapping in one of the plush towels.

I stare at myself in the mirror for a few moments. Now that the makeup was gone, and my hair returned to its normal natural wave, I looked like myself again.

But what did that mean? I think back to the year before, of when I stood in this same building on the same floor, and looked into a mirror then.

Something had changed. Physically at first glance no one would say I'd changed at all in the past year. But the burden of being a victor had left its mark in the form of a permanent haunted look in my eyes. It was subtle, but just like Jasper had said on our rooftop talk, if you looked close enough, all the victors had it.

Then there were the scars, most of them added from the games, a few self-inflicted…

I blink and rub my face, quickly exiting the bathroom and walking over to the wardrobe in the corner. I pull out one of the many silky camisole and short sets, and slip them on.

Just as I finish dressing, a tentative knock sounds against my door.

I frown, glancing at the clock which displays the late hour. Could it be Dash? He doesn't usually knock, and when he does it's always curt and firm.

I walk over and open the door, widening it in surprise as my eyes land on the small figure standing in the hallway.

"Lisa."

She stands in front of me, nervously twisting the hem of her sleep shirt. "Can I…could I come in for a moment?" She asks quietly, her baby blue eyes soft with tears.

"Of course, come on." I shut the door behind her and walk over to the bed, motioning for her to take a seat beside me. "What did you want?"

She shifts slightly, staring down at her hands. "I, um…" She trails off and shrugs her small shoulders.

I try to fight the pain in my chest, to stem my emotions. If I can't think rationally, then I can't help her, or Ryder. "Lisa…is this about your training score?"

She just shrugs.

"Hey, those numbers don't mean anything. Just because your number was lower than some doesn't mean you can't win. Look at me? I won, didn't I?"

She nods slowly.

"Right, so don't you worry, you can win."

She finally looks up at me, the tears overflowing down her cheeks. "I don't want to die, Mags."

A wave of emotion crashes into me, pain, fear, anger, and every other emotion that I felt before and during the games.

This young girl is depending on me to help her, to keep her alive. And it's crushing me. "You're…you're not going to die, Lisa."

She sniffs as more tears trail down her cheeks. "So Ryder dies? And Triss? And all the other tributes?" She shakes her head. "I don't want to die…but I don't want them to either."

I swallow hard, fighting the flashbacks with every ounce of will power I have.

"I just wanted to…live." She shrugs. "Just live my life."

I try to say something but no words will come out, my chest aching.

She inhales shakily as the amount of tears streaming down her cheeks double. "I won't get to know…Mags, I want so badly to hear my father's laugh again. I want my mother to hold me in her arms one last time. I want-" Her voice chokes up and she lets out a small sob before continuing. "I want to teach my baby brother how to talk…to hear him say my name for the first time. I wanted to fall in love and have a family of my own."

I'm not sure when I started crying, but the tears are flowing steadily down my face now.

Lisa is worked up almost to hysteria now, she clings to my arm as she sobs and begins to scream. "What did I ever do to deserve this? Why does God hate me? I just want to live!"

There's no stopping the flashbacks now, and they hit me full force. Images, sounds, and visions of the arena all invade my mind at once, causing my chest to constrict the air from my lungs, leaving me hyperventilating.

"Lisa, Lisa calm down. Shhhh, it's okay, I've got you."

I gasp as Dash pulls Lisa away from me. When did he get here?

"Mags, hold on, okay? I'll be right back."

He scoops Lisa's slim frame into his arms and carries her out of the room.

I shrink into a ball on the floor, hugging my waist tightly as the sobs take over. Hard, heavy sobs that snatch away my breath and hurt my chest.

Dash is suddenly there, wrapping his arms around me tightly and holding me to him, gently rocking back and forth as he comforts me.

"I-I can't…do this, D-Dash. Lisa is going to die and it's all my fault!"

He strokes my hair and shakes his head. "She isn't going to die, Mags."

"Then Ryder will! And it'll be because I couldn't save him, because I failed…just like with Will, just like with everyone."

Dash gives my shoulders a small shake. "It's not your fault Mags! None of it is."

I bury my face against his chest and curl up in a tighter ball. "How do you do it every year? How can the other victors do it?"

He lets out a heavy sigh. "We handle it the only way we can, by blaming the people really responsible."

I stay in his arms and cry for the next hour or so…I lost track of the time. He just gently rocks me back and forth and rubs my back, knowing there's nothing he can do to make it better.

I try and imagine what it was like his first time mentoring, with no one to talk to or turn to for help, comfort or guidance. Especially with the added weight of his "extra activities"…it's almost too horrible to think about.

We stay together the whole night, wrapped up in each other's arms, seeking any comfort we can find.

Periodically I break down and start crying again at the hopelessness of the situation. Part of me wants to tell Dash to go and try to sleep, guilty at how I'm robbing him of any rest he might have gotten. But most of me is just glad he's there to hold me and wipe my tears away. It's selfish, but I need him.

He doesn't seem to mind though, and I wonder if he needs the distraction of comforting me, it probably makes him feel helpful to at least someone.

Dawn is just starting to break, the sky slowly transforming from cold gray to a warm coral.

Both Dash and I have been silent for the past few hours, having found a place in our mind and hearts where we can accept our fate and find peace.

Dash's hand idly strokes my upper arm as we stare out the window, his cheek resting against my head. He's sitting on the floor, leaning back against the bed.

I'm sitting half on, half off his lap, leaning my back against his chest, rising and falling slightly with his gentle breathing.

"The hovercrafts will be here soon." I say, my voice quiet.

He nods. "Yep."

"We should probably go wake up Ryder and Lisa."

"Yep."

We both remain motionless, unwilling to break the moment of peace we've found.

Finally I let out a heavy sigh and straighten up. "We need to go."

He shifts and pushes me slightly, helping me stand up. I turn and pull him to his feet as well.

"I'll go wake Ryder and Lisa, you get dressed."

It's then that I realize Dash is still wearing his suit pants and shirt from last night, he must not have tried to sleep at all.

I nod and move toward the wardrobe.

"Once we say goodbye, we'll head over to the Cave and meet up with the other mentors before…"

He can't finish the sentence. So he just nods and walks out.

I dress in a pair of loose cream pants and a mauve and navy striped off the shoulder top, deciding on finishing the outfit by wearing a simple pair of sandals.

I don't even bother brushing my hair, just flip my head over and fluff it slightly. Then head out into the main room.

Ryder and Lisa are standing there with Dash, both looking apprehensive.

One of the first things I notice is how far apart they're standing, and Ryder is refusing to even glance Lisa's direction. It's probably for the best, once in the arena…

I clear my throat and they look my way as I approach them. "Ready?"

Ryder stares at me with a blank expression. "Is that rhetorical?"

I shrug. "Mostly." I turn my attention to Lisa. "You okay?"

She glances at Ryder, then back at me. "I…not really."

Dash puts his hand gently on her shoulder. "Remember what I told you last night."

She takes a deep breath and nods.

"Once you're in the arena, head as far away from the cornucopia as you can, don't bother trying to grab anything unless it's really close to your pedestal. Remember your survival skills and find water, from there you've got an advantage against the other tributes."

Ryder crosses his arms. "What do I do about weapons?"

Dash shrugs. "They're almost always kept close to the cornucopia, it's not worth the risk. Bloodbaths are always wild and unpredictable, better to just run and find or fashion a weapon later."

I nod in agreement, adding. "Survival is your best option, when it's a choice between fight or flight, always choose flight. Chances are over half the tributes will die by the arena, and not the other tributes. Survive the arena, wait for it to pick off the other tributes, and your odds become better."

Lisa glances at Ryder again, saying quietly. "We have a better chance at winning if we focus more on surviving the arena instead of fighting the other tributes."

Ryder suddenly wheels on her, causing Lisa, Dash and I to jump at his sudden shout. "There is no we! You're just another tribute! Competition! Once we're in the arena we're enemies, so why even try to be friendly beforehand?!"

"Ryder!" I scream reproachfully. "What the hell has gotten into you?!" This wasn't like him at all.

He turns on me, his eyes blazing. "What's wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with you? You're a mentor! It's your job to get one of us out alive and you both know I'm your best bet at bringing a tribute home!"

I'm too shocked to reply for a few moments, so I turn to look at Lisa, expecting her to be crying or cowering.

Instead, her bright blue eyes are alight with fury, and she smacks Ryder across the face, causing all of us to gasp in surprise. "Just because you're scared out of your mind doesn't mean you can be a bastard to me!" She shouts.

Dash grabs her around her tiny waist as she goes to take another swing at him. "Hey, hey! Stop it!"

Ryder is holding a hand to his red cheek, glaring at her. "Shut up! You're just a stupid little girl, you don't know anything and you're going to die in that arena!"

I grab Ryder's arm and shake him roughly. "That's enough! Both of you!"

Dash sets the now sullen Lisa back down on the ground, keeping a cautious hand on her shoulder.

I turn to Ryder and say coldly. "Ryder, there was no cause to treat Lisa that way."

He opens his mouth to say something but I snap harshly. "I'm not finished yet!"

He closes his mouth and waits for me to continue.

"You're right about you two being competition once you're in the arena, but you're still District partners. So act like it!"

Lisa's cold gaze is boring into him, her face set in disgust. "I thought you were better than careers…turns out I was wrong. Guess it's a good thing you're one of them!"

I frown. "What?" I look from the glaring Lisa, to a sullen Ryder, then turn to a guilty looking Dash. "Dash, what is she talking about?"

He avoids my gaze. "I knew you'd abject…so I decided not to tell you."

Lisa pulls away from his grip. "Yeah, they didn't want me to know either but I found out. Ryder's in the career pack."

I should be furious at Dash, yelling at him and smacking him upside the head. But I just feel betrayed and hurt. "You decided not to tell me…" My voice is quiet, and filled with the ache I feel in my chest.

He finally looks up and meets my gaze. "Mags, I'm sorry. But Ryder is right, he's our best bet, and his chances of survival are higher if he's with the careers."

I give him the coldest look I've ever given anyone, and turn to Lisa. "Lisa, I'm so sorry."

She sniffs and crosses her arms. "It's fine. I know they're right."

"But that doesn't give them the excuse to write you off before even giving you a chance."

I turn and stare at Dash as I add. "I know I'll be betting on you."

The pain in Dash's eyes at my coldness almost softens my anger toward him. Almost.

"Come on. The hovercraft will be waiting on the roof." I grab Lisa's hand and lead her to the elevator. "You boys can take the next one up." I say curtly as the doors slide close and we shoot up to the roof.

The hovercraft hums above us as I turn to Lisa and wrap my arms tightly around her. "You can do this. I know you can."

She grips me so tightly it's painful, but I don't lessen my hold, knowing exactly how she's feeling.

"I'll be watching out for you once you're in there. Don't worry."

She pulls back and nods, her face pale, but set resolutely.

The second elevator arrives, and Dash and Ryder step out. Lisa doesn't even give them a second look as she turns and walks to the waiting ladder.

Dash turns and says something to Ryder, then shakes his hand firmly and gives him a nod.

Ryder turns and heads toward the hovercraft, but as he passes me I grab his arm, stopping him.

He looks slightly surprised, and raises his eyebrows questioningly.

"Listen up, kid. I know you're scared, I know you think being a jerk to Lisa will make things easier, let me tell you right now, it won't. Nothing will make the end of a life easier, no matter who it is."

I see the flicker of torment in his eyes.

"You've got to think very carefully about what's really important. How do you want to be remembered?"

He hesitates, then nods curtly. "Right…thanks."

I give him a quick hug, whispering in his ear. "Don't ever let them change you." Then I release him and motion to the hovercraft. "Get going."

I walk back to the elevator, not even acknowledging Dash's existence.

He ducks into the elevator beside me, and is about to say something before I whirl on him and cut him off. "Shut up! There is no excuse that can make lying to me even remotely acceptable!"

He falls silent.

"How could you do that Dash?" I ask, much quieter now, the pain returning to my voice. "How could you lie to me? Me of all people."

He doesn't even try to answer, staring at the floor guiltily.

"I don't know if I can trust you anymore." I almost whisper, talking more to myself than to him.

"You probably shouldn't…I don't even trust myself."

This makes me glance up at him. "Why? Why did you think it'd be better to lie to me?"

He shrugs. "I knew you wouldn't want Ryder in with the careers, and I thought he'd have a better chance at winning if he was. I made a call."

"We're supposed to be a team."

"I know."

"Did you think I wouldn't listen to your opinion? That I wouldn't value your superior knowledge as a mentor?"

He looked up at me, almost smiling. "Do you ever listen to me?"

I try not to smile as I shake my head. "Not really."

He takes a deep breath. "Look, what I did was stupid."

"No kidding."

"Shut up I'm trying to apologize."

"Okay fine. Continue."

"It was stupid and I wasn't thinking it through, I just didn't know what to do." He rubs his forehead. "Hell, I never know what to do."

"Well that we can agree on."

He chuckles and shakes his head. "You're enjoying this aren't you?"

I wrinkle my nose and grin. "Maybe just a little bit."

He rolls his eyes. "What I'm trying to say is…I shouldn't have kept that from you, or made that decision all on my own, it was a stupid, asshole move and I'm sorry."

I nod. "Yep, it was."

He raises his eyebrows imploringly. "Forgive me?"

I hesitate then shrug. "Yeah…"

The elevator lands on the bottom floor, and we're quickly whisked away to the cave.

As we enter, the tension in the air is almost palpable. The mentors are ducking here and there, avoiding making eye contact as they hurry to their separate stations.

Dash takes my hand and leads me to our room. The screens are on, but currently only displaying the capitol seal.

I feel my nerves begin to heighten, and my palms sweat as I pace in front of the screens.

Dash doesn't try and stop me, and although he's sitting in one of the swivel chairs, I can tell he's tense as well.

"How much longer is it going to be?" I mutter under my breath impatiently.

As if on cue, the capitol anthem begins to play, and the screens switch to Estevon Gypsy as he begins to announce the games.

"Here we go." Dash says, standing up and leaning his hands on the table in front of the screens.

I walk over and stand beside him, waiting for the screens to cut to the arena, waiting to see what our tributes are faced with.

"And now, here's our first look at the arena this year!" Estevon announces cheerfully.

The screens switch to the arena, and as my eyes flicker over the many different angles of the pedestals and cornucopia, I feel my heart sink.

"Dash…"

He nods. "Yeah, I know."

And there we go! Next chapter will hopefully be up next week! I'll see you then!

JUST KIDDING! You didn't really think after making all of you wait that long that I was going to leave you with a horrific cliff hanger like that, now did you?

Here we go again

Jungle. Thick, rainforest-type jungle.

That would've been harrowing enough…but to add to it, the pedestals were all set up in the tree canopy around a hundred feet above the forest floor!

The cornucopia was suspended by cables attached to tree trunks in the center of the ring of pedestals, and each pedestal was set partially in the side of a tree.

The pedestal trees had a large hollow behind each tribute, and I assume that's where they emerged. I wonder if the trees are natural, or specially crafted.

"Thirty…twenty-nine…twenty-eight."

I hadn't even realized the timer had been counting down, and now my attention was drawn back to my tributes.

Lisa is staring wide eyed at the jungle around her, and I'm thankful one of her strongest suits was climbing, and navigating the obstacle course.

Ryder is nimble as well, they're both fairly well equipped for this terrain.

"They're good, they're going to be fine." Dash says beside me.

I nod. My attention wandering to the careers, the only one not looking worried is Jasper, who out of all of them is by far the most agile.

The only way to the cornucopia is by vines and branches placed strategically low and close to the pedestals. I wonder how the tributes are expected to get down to the ground, and then wonder if they're even meant to reach the forest floor at all. Who knows what dangers await them there?

"Spikes." Dash murmurs, pointing to where some spikes are visible buried in the trunk of the tree, leading downward.

"So they're supposed to climb down a hundred or more feet using just those spikes? It'd take them forever! Not to mention only half the tributes have that kind of stamina."

Dash shrugs. "Maybe they're supposed to stay up in the canopy."

"Ten…nine…eight."

I take a deep breath. "Here we go."

Dash reaches over and grabs my hand.

"Five…four…three…two…"

I hold my breath.

"One."

The bell sounds, but only a few tributes move.

I gasp in surprise as Mary leaps from her pedestal and grabs a vine, scurrying up it like a little monkey. She reaches a branch and scampers toward the cornucopia. Smart, she knows it'll take the careers a while to get there, so she's using the opportunity to grab some supplies.

Lisa bites her lip nervously. Slowly she steps out onto a branch near her pedestal, and drops to her hands and knees, crawling toward the cornucopia.

"What is she doing!" Dash cries out in frustration. "She's supposed to be getting away while she has the time."

I hear some muffled shouts from the other mentors, and try to tune them out.

Ryder is trying to communicate with the careers, but they're placed rather far apart and he can't seem to understand what they're trying to tell him.

Finally Queen mimes climbing and then points to him and Jasper, waving them toward the cornucopia.

Ryder gets the message, and begins to climb over.

Jasper scurries out as well, slightly faster than Ryder.

Mary's feet land on the cornucopia, and suddenly a loud rumble sounds, and long, narrow metal beams begin to grow out of the cornucopia, stretching toward the pedestal.

"Smart. The first tribute to touch the cornucopia activates a way for all the tributes to reach it."

Mary seems to realize what happens, and begins to pick through the supplies quickly. Stuffing items into a backpack before bolting out the entrance and swinging off into the treetops.

Lisa's almost reached the cornucopia, Jasper and Ryder gaining distance with each passing moment.

The other tributes look unsure of what to do, try and climb down to the ground? Off into the trees? Or take a chance and go for the cornucopia?

Gareth, the tall dark boy from district nine is poised on his pedestal, his face set determinedly. He's going for the cornucopia.

Willow, the girl from eleven is busy descending the spikes to the forest floor.

The boy from six, Heath I think his name was, is heading to the ground as well.

Dash nudges my arm and points at the screen featuring the front of the cornucopia. Lisa made it, she is scrambling through the supplies, looking for anything useful she can stuff into a bag.

I feel my heart stop as Jasper's hands land on the cool metal, and he pulls himself onto the ledge that emerged with the metal walkways, and now surrounded the cornucopia.

Ryder is right behind him, and for a moment they catch their breath and exchange glances.

"Wait for the others?" Ryder asks.

Jasper shakes his head. "Take out the girl first, then wait."

I see the flicker in Ryder's eyes. He knows Lisa is inside.

For a few moments I can't breathe, watching the conflict in Ryder's eyes, wondering what he's going to do.

Finally his face hardens, and he nods. "Right."

"YOU BASTARD!" I screech, lunging for the screens.

Dash grabs me and keeps my fists from smashing the screens. "Mags! Cool it! Just watch!"

I push him away, running my fingers roughly through my hair as I curse under my breath, tears of anger and helplessness fill my eyes.

Ryder and Jasper move toward the cornucopia, inside which Lisa is still scrambling for supplies. She hears them enter and whirls around, knife clutched tightly in her hand.

Jasper is wielding a spiked mace that had been lying at the entrance, he looked a little hesitant as he took in Lisa's small frame, putting on a harsh front. "You really think a knife will help you against this?" He asked, twirling the mace menacingly.

Her eyes flickered from the mace to Jasper, and then over at Ryder. "Just let me walk away…I won't cause you any trouble."

Jasper shook his head. "You know I can't do that. You're causing me trouble just by breathing." He shrugged. "Sorry, that's just the way this goes."

Lisa stepped back as he moved forward.

"I promise I'll make it as quick and painless as I can." Jasper says quietly, keeping a scowling face for the cameras.

"Can the audience hear that?" I ask Dash.

He shakes his head. "They probably muted it, or used voice manipulation to make it seem like he said something darker."

I frown. "They do that?"

He nodded. "New technology."

Lisa tripped over a crate and fell on her rear, tears shining in her eyes as Jasper lifted the mace, his face set with harsh intent, but I catch the tortured look in his eyes.

"Ryder!" Lisa screams as the mace descends, covering her face with her hands as she tries to roll out of the way.

Suddenly a loud crack echoes in the cornucopia, and Jasper crumples in a heap, the back of his head beginning to seep blood from where the hilt of Ryder's sword had cracked down on it.

Lisa looked up, her eyes wide, chest rising and falling rapidly.

Ryder's face was hard as he looked down at the fallen Jasper, and for a moment I thought he was going to dispatch him then and there.

But instead, he sheathed the sword and turned to Lisa, offering her a hand. "Damn it, Lisa."

She threw herself in his arms and sobbed into his shoulder. "I knew you wouldn't let me down. I knew it, I knew it."

He looked slightly uncomfortable and pried her off him. "Come on, we should grab as much as we can and get out of here, the careers will be on our tails now."

They grabbed what they could and darted for the entrance, slinging their bags over their shoulders as they began to climb off through the branches.

"Damn you four! Damn you to hell!"

"Already there!" Ryder shouted back in reply to Trina's furious scream.

"Wait until we get our hands on you!" Vince roared, shaking his fist. "You're dead meat! You hear me? Dead-" the rest of his sentence was cut off abruptly as the branch beneath his feet snapped, and he plunged down with a horrific scream.

Dash and I stare in shock at the place he had just been standing. Then the cannon sounded. He had reached the forest floor.

Ryder and Lisa continue off through the tree branches as the two remaining careers reach the cornucopia, grab weapons, and go after the remaining tributes.

The screams grow fainter, echoed by the sounds of cannons as Lisa and Ryder delve deeper into the forest.