"Inventing the Future"

Author's Note: The last chapter was getting a bit long, so here's part two.

"Chapter 44: Solace"

'Mood swings', some people called them. 'Hormones'. Whatever label people wanted to give the violent shift in temper that had occurred earlier, Meredith had her own word for it, and that word was 'lousy'. As she made her way through the tropical jungle and headed back towards the town, Meredith tried to figure out why she hadn't been able to control herself better.

Something about this fight had been different from the previous arguments she'd had with Jaming. Never before had she resorted to name-calling! What was wrong with her? True, Jaming probably could have phrased things a little better, but still!

'At least you still have one! Stop rubbing it in my face!'

Was that what she had been doing every time she mentioned her mother around him? No, of course not. But, regardless, she thought she could understand why he might take it that way, even on a subconscious level.

Jaming had only mentioned his parents a few times before. He still hadn't told her much about the night they died. All she knew for sure was that there was a fire, and that discussing it was intensely painful for him.

She knew he hadn't meant what he'd said earlier! No more than she had, really.

As she looked up to get her bearings, the sight of Jaming hesitantly approaching her brought her up short. He halted when she did, about five yards away from her, looking first at her, then down at the ground, then back again.

'He looks awful...'

He did. In truth, he looked about as bad as she did. Her anger was not exactly forgotten, but suddenly it seemed very unimportant, and all she wanted to do was take him in her arms and tell him how sorry she was.

Jaming opened his mouth to say something to her, but he quickly shut it again

This was stupid! Why were they just standing there, staring at each other as if waiting to see who would make the first move? As if coming to a mutual decision, they closed the distance between them and grabbed each other in a fierce hug.

"I'm so sorry..." he choked out, hiding his face in her hair. Even now, he thought that he could lose himself in its fruity-floral scent.

"No, no, no..." she shook her head, burying her face in his shoulder. The scent of his cologne was fading, and she breathed it in as if to capture the last notes of it. "I don't know what happened..."

Jaming was acutely aware of the presence of others, and even though none of them spared the couple more than a passing glance, this setting was a little too public for his liking. He made sure that his face was dry, then stepped back. "Let's go home. I think we have much to talk about."

"About what I said before," Jaming began as soon as they were seated on their small sofa, but Meredith interrupted him.

"Jaming, I didn't think about how it would affect you, and I probably should have..."

Jaming held up a hand, signalling for quiet, and looking down at the rug. "Just...let me finish, because I don't think I could say it again. This isn't easy for me to admit."

Meredith waited for him to continue, but as the moments stretched on he simply fidgeted in his seat, picking at one of the calluses on his palm. Finally she told him, "Just blurt it out."

"I'm jealous, all right?" Jaming left off picking at his hand and rubbed his face. "You still have your mother. And I'll never see mine again. I mean...what am I, a child? It shouldn't matter. That isn't even the main reason for all of it, and I never should have used it to...to attack you!"

When Meredith simply stared at him in shock, he thought he knew how his confession must sound to her. Selfish jerk indeed! Why should she be made to feel guilty, simply because she still had one of her parents around?

He didn't have her gift for reading people's expressions, or he would have realized that it wasn't guilt she felt, but sorrow on his behalf. "Jaming..."

He couldn't meet her eyes anymore. Burying his face in his hands, he continued to speak. "Meredith...I don't hate your mother. I just don't like unexpected surprises, and I reacted atrociously."

"Come here," Meredith reached for him and he accepted the hug, lowering his forehead to her shoulder. "I know you don't, Jaming. And...I know you miss your own mother. Both of your parents. You never have to apologize for that. And I'm not a big fan of surprise drop-ins either. I just thought this was different..."

Jaming tightened his hold on her, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. "It is different. And then, when I couldn't find you...I thought...I thought, 'what if something happens to her? It'll be all my fault'! I mean...what if something happened to you and the baby...because I drove you off? B-because I was too much of a selfish jerk to compromise?"

A horrifying image came, unbidden, into Jaming's mind. He had seen first-hand the types of creatures who inhabited the Ocean's Roar Cave, and he knew that they occasionally ventured out into the world to cause mischief. They had never approached Veniccio, at least not yet, but they had more or less re-established themselves in the cave since Max and Monica left Veniccio to continue their business elsewhere. A mental picture of Meredith being set upon by a Sea Serpent and swallowed whole caused Jaming himself to squeeze her tightly as if making sure she wouldn't disappear in a puff of vapor.

"Hey..." Meredith gave his back a pat, both to comfort and to give a signal. "I can't breathe, honey..."

"Oh, sorry..." Jaming loosened his grip somewhat, sniffling.

"Listen," she continued, rubbing his back, "I think we both said things we didn't mean. But I'm here, okay? I'm not going anywhere. And I'm just as guilty...I really flew off the handle, and I shouldn't have stayed away all day. I didn't mean to worry you like that. Jaming...you're not a selfish jerk. I'm so sorry for saying that."

"Yes, I am..." he mumbled into her shoulder, sounding uncommonly like a stubborn little boy when he used that tone, and Meredith had to smile at that.

"Well, if you are, you're my selfish jerk. And good luck getting rid of me!"

Jaming laughed before lifting his head from her shoulder and finally looking her in the eye. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," Meredith wiped his cheeks, which were slightly damp. "So, no more of this, okay?"

He nodded, fishing around in his pockets for a handkerchief and blowing his nose. "Well...the guest room should be ready by the time your mother gets here."

"Jaming...don't give me my way just because I threw a hormonal tantrum. Shouldn't we discuss it first? Like we didn't do before?" she smirked.

"All right. Let's discuss it."

When emotions and misgivings were no longer on the table, it really was much easier to come up with a solution. Yes, technically they could inform Sarah of the misunderstanding, but this would lead to awkwardness and probably cause some hurt feelings. Or, they could just try it and see what happened, and things might actually turn out much better than they could have hoped.

Now that Jaming thought about it, he himself had been given a second chance at redemption. More than one, in fact, when one considered Lin and that business with Crest. Compared to his transgressions, Sarah's were really quite petty. Could he truly deny her the thing that had been given to him more times than he deserved?

No.

He could not.

Besides, having someone around who knew about babies could turn out to be a blessing when their son or daughter was born. As much as he was looking forward to the birth, he was terrified of making a mistake. What if he held the baby wrong, and lost his grip?

"Then, it's settled," Jaming put his arm around Meredith as she rested her head on his shoulder and tucked her legs under the woolen throw that usually rested over the back of the sofa. "She will stay with us. Hmph...this fight didn't even have to happen, did it?"

"Mm...I think we did clear the air a little bit. I...I honestly didn't know that my talking about her was-"

"Shh," Jaming rested his cheek against the top of her head. "I'll always miss them...but that doesn't mean you shouldn't talk about yours. Besides...she helped make you. And if it wasn't for you...I don't know where I'd be now."

Meredith smiled against his chest, then lightly wiggled her fingers against his ribs.

Jaming squirmed a bit and flattened his arm against his side, pinning her fingers, but not so firmly that she couldn't pull them free. "That tickles."

"Oh, it does?" She trailed her fingers up his chest and tickled his neck.

"Hey!" He raised his shoulders to block her probing fingers again, then leaned away from her, a smile growing on his face. "What is this?"

"I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about!" she grinned.

"I was having a moment here!" Jaming laughed, exasperated.

Meredith shrugged, snuggling up against him and deciding to behave herself. Jaming, however, had made no such decision, and when he had her just where he wanted her he held her in place with one arm and tickled her mercilessly.

"My turn!"

"Eek! No! Lemme go, I have to pee, pregnant lady has to pee!" she shrieked, arching away from her.

Chuckling, Jaming let her go and watched her bolt up the stairs.