Hey everyone!

So another late update, my life is crazy right now .

I was pretty busy with things over Thanksgiving, and now that it's the Christmas season I'm doing even more! Not to mention a friend from across the country is visiting us for a few weeks, and since I never get to see her I've been spending as much time hanging out with her and my older sister as much as I can before they both leave to go back to her house over Christmas.

So that and having fatigue/little sleep equals almost no writing

BUT! I've been trying to write on my IPod whenever I have a minute to breathe, and have gotten little smidges of writing done so I've got something to start with so I feel like I'll be able to get this chapter written in no time.

Thanks so much for your patience! You guys are seriously the best, hope you enjoy this chapter, and don't forget to leave a review!

Chapter Thirty-Two: Tribute Down

My nightmares that night are some of the worst I've ever had.

Images of blood clouded water, melted flesh and skeletal hands haunt my sleeping mind. Finally my body can't take it anymore and wakes me with a start.

I sit up in bed and gasp for air, clutching at my stomach to try and ease the nausea, I take a few deep breaths, wait, and then blot for the bathroom.

The rich food of the Capitol and grotesque images of death and decay don't mix well, and I mentally curse myself for choking down some dinner earlier. Should've known I'd get sick.

As I'm hunched over the toilet, I hear someone enter the room and then someone's holding back my hair, keeping it out of my face as I throw up.

I wait for several long seconds to see if there's anything left in my stomach, and then I cough, spit into the toilet seat, and straighten up, a lecture on leaving our tributes unsupervised on my lips to deliver to Dash. The lecture dies in my throat as my eyes land on the person who came to my aid.
"James?"

He gives me a nervous smile and rubs the back of his head. "Uh, hi...I hope it's okay that I just walked in." He pauses, taps his fingertips against his head in an off-hand manner, and then says, "Dash asked if I'd come check on you...he was worried after, well, you know."

I nod, still a little thrown off by his presence. We'd only ever spoken once, and that was limited to a few muttered words in an elevator. We'd never actually talked, let alone interacted with each other without anyone else present.

"Uh...do you want to brush your teeth or something?"

I nod. "Yeah, actually, that would probably be good."

He nods slowly in agreement, then motions behind him. "I'll just...yeah. Bye." He turns on his heel and walks out, leaving me to clean up.

After brushing my teeth thoroughly and gargling mouthwash, I walk back into my bedroom and get changed into fresh clothes. As I'm running a brush through my tangled hair, I hear a knock at my door. "Come in."

The door opens slightly and James pokes his head in timidly. "Feeling better?" He asks hesitantly.

I shrug. "Not really, but I don't have anything else to throw up so..." I set the brush down and turn to face him. "Come on in."

He steps inside, shifts on his feet and then seems to remember something. "Oh, um, here." He offers me a small vial of peach tinted liquid. "It's for your stomach, soothes the cramps and eases nausea. It'll also keep you from getting sick again."

I accept the vial and survey the contents for a moment. "Oh...thanks."

"It's only side effects are it can make you a tiny bit drowsy, but nothing a little coffee won't counteract."

I smile. "Well I guess I'm lucky you're such and expert."

He shrugs, scratching the back of his head. "Yeah, well, I've had to down quite a bit...the uh, treatments usually make me pretty sick."

"You're sick a lot, then?"

Another shrug. "Found out I had a rare type of cancer a couple of years ago, volunteered for the games not long after. Figured since I was going to die anyway I might as well save some other kid from getting reaped."

I frown. "You won the year before my games, didn't you?"

He nods.

I don't remember too much of his games, we tried to avoid them as much as possible, my father and I wanted to shield Will and Leroy from the horrors of the Capitol as long as we could. The only thing I remember clearly though, was no one expected James to win until he got in the arena and showed he was cunning and capable of outwitting all the other tributes.
"If you were so prepared to die, do you mind if I ask why you chose to fight in the arena?"

A familiar look crosses his face, one I find staring back at me from the mirror on many occasions. Worry for a younger sibling.

"My little brother...he was diagnosed with the same cancer, turns out its hereditary." He sighs and shakes his head. "I didn't know until my mother told me when we were saying our goodbyes. I knew that if I won, I'd be able to get him the treatment he needs from the Capitol."

"And for yourself."

He shrugs. "I had already accepted my fate, but I couldn't let him die." A flash of anger lights his large amber eyes up. "The cancer was so advanced in me that the treatments only get rid of it temporarily, my brother's healed completely, but no matter what they do, I just get sick again and again." He shakes his head. "I constantly wonder if it's worth it…but of course the Capitol can't let their precious little victor die."

The bitterness and defiance in his voice surprises me. This isn't someone who gives up on life, he's a fighter, a survivor. "James, it is worth it."

He looks up at me, slightly surprised. "What makes you say that?"

"Because, you and I have a lot in common."

A small smile tilts his lips up. "I highly doubt that, you're strong, and brave, and powerful, you're not afraid to speak your mind or stand up for what you believe in."

I stare at him in shock. Is that how people see me? Has the Capitol warped everyone into viewing me as their indestructible Lady of the Sea, even after seeing me fall apart in the games?

"Even after losing Will…you still kept fighting." He shakes his head. "I never could've done that."

I laugh quietly. "Is that really how everyone sees me? As this unbreakable being?"

He shrugs. "From what I've heard around the Capitol and from the other Victors. That's why Zane and Tara can't stand you, Riker and Ebony flirt with you, and Heather's intimidated by you. I'm not sure about Kaden and Eliza though, they seem to know you pretty well."

I nod. "Yeah we've talked more than the other victors. Heather's intimidated by me?"

He nods. "Leo said she looks up to you a lot though, she's been wanting to get to know you but with the games and all she was afraid it'd seem like she was just trying to take advantage of you."

"I can't believe it…that's why I feel so alienated by them."

"Isn't it true though?"

I walk up to him, and display my arms, showing him all the scars.

His eyes widens as he looks at them.

"I'm not strong at all, not anymore. The capitol wanted to take them away, to erase the evidence of my weakness, but I refused to give them up. I need to be reminded that I survived, and of why I did."

He shakes his head. "Why…why would you."

I shake my head. "Losing Will…being in the games, it was just too much for me, I wanted to die after I lost him, I was prepared to, but he made me promise to keep fighting for him, to live and be happy for him. And by pure dumb luck I was the one left standing in the end. But it's been so hard trying to piece my life back together without him in it."

James suddenly grabs me in a tight hug, his embrace surprisingly strong for someone so skinny and frail looking. "You are strong." He says quietly. "Stronger than anyone I know. Don't ever forget that, or think you're weak."

I try not to look too surprised when he releases me and steps back, rubbing his arm awkwardly. "Sorry…"

I shake my head. "No, it's okay." Looking at him in front of me, thin and pale, light shaggy hair falling into his large amber eyes, it's hard to remember he's a year older than me. He looks so young.

"I just…I wanted you to know how you inspire people, you give them strength." He motions to my arms. "And that…that doesn't mean you're weak, it just means you're in a lot of pain, and choose to keep fighting instead of giving up." He gives me a bright smile. "That's what makes you strong."

I return his smile. "Well I think what you've gone through and are going through to help your brother makes you strong too."

He scratches his chin bashfully. "Oh…well thanks."

I nod. "Sure. Oh, do you happen to know what time it is?"

"Around eight I think? Last I heard most of the tributes were starting to wake up and move around. Today should be pretty uneventful."

"What makes you say that?"

"Eight tributes left, they'll be interviewing the families today so that should keep all the Capitolites satisfied, which means we shouldn't be expecting any interference from the gamemakers."

I nod. "Right, well let's hope the remaining tributes get a little time to breathe then." I suddenly remember that both of his tributes have died, and suddenly feel guilty. "I'm sorry about your tributes…"

He sighs. "I failed them, I don't know how to be a good mentor, this being my first year and all. Maybe if I could've helped them more…"

"It's not your fault, I'm sure you did the best you could to keep them alive."

He lets out another heavy sigh. "Yeah…anyway, you should probably go, huh? Both of your tributes are still alive."

I nod. "Thank you…for everything."

He smiles. "Sure, anytime."

A few minutes later I'm walking into the mentor room. Dash has dozed off on the couch, his appearance slightly haggard. His clothes are wrinkled, his hair is a mess and his jaw is sporting two days' worth of stubble.

I decide to let him sleep, and turn to a small touch screen on the wall. With the push of a few buttons, I've ordered coffee and a breakfast tray to be brought to our room. Then I turn to the screens displaying the arena.

Lisa is still asleep, curled up in her sleeping bag with a knife close by. Ryder isn't at the camp, and it takes me a moment to find the screen viewing him at the riverside.

He's collecting water in their canteens, careful to keep his hands out of the water as he fills them up. Then he returns to the campsite and begins to filter it through the contraption Lisa made.

The food I ordered arrives, waking Dash up as the trolley rolls into the room.

He sits up and rubs his eyes, dragging a hand through his hair and then down his face. "Mags…did James go check on you?"

I nod. "Yeah, thanks for asking him to make sure I was alright."

He nods, then yawns. "You ordered breakfast I see, how are our tributes doing?"

I hand him some coffee before glancing at the screen. "Ryder got some water and is working on cleaning and purifying it…looks like Lisa is waking up now."

He sips the coffee gratefully and then moves toward the screens, grabbing a pastry as he passes the trolley. "They look good, Ryder's cut is all scabbed up."

I pile a plate with eggs, bacon, sausage and some waffles, then plop it down in front of Dash before filling a plate for myself, transferring the coffee pot to the desk and sitting down.

We both eat in silence as we watch our tributes.

Lisa rubs her eyes and yawns before crawling out of her sleeping bag. "Morning."

Ryder glances up and gives her a small smile. "Morning, sleep well?"

She nods. "Pretty well, how long have you been up?"

He shrugs. "An hour or two maybe."

"You should've woken me to take watch."

"I could handle it, couldn't really sleep anyway."

She watches him filter the water for a few minutes, then asks. "How's your wound doing?"

He chuckles. "That little scrape? Scabbed up already, told you I'd be fine." He frowns and scratches at his arm. "Although those stupid bugs were eating me alive last night."

Lisa is scratching her leg as she wrinkles her nose and nods. "Yeah me too, think Mags and Dash would send us some bug spray?"

They both laugh quietly, and then Ryder shakes his head. "They need to save that money for more important things than bug spray. We'll survive a little itching."

After they filtered and purified a good amount of water, they eat some of their food and drink a lot of water, not rationing it since they have an unending supply yards away.

Lisa wipes some sweat off her forehead and fans her face. "Gosh I think it's hotter today than it was yesterday."

Ryder's skin is covered in sweat as well, but he is still wearing his vest. "Is it hot? I've had this annoying chill that won't go away since early this morning."

Lisa looks at him and frowns, concern lining her brow. "Really? That's weird. How do you feel besides that?"

He shrugs. "Sore? Just a little achy actually."

She walks over to him and motions for him to get up. "Stand up for a minute."

He does, then sways and holds a hand to his head. "Add dizzy to the list."

She examines his chest wound and frowns. "Well that's not causing this, it's all scabbed up and perfectly healing."

He sits down unsteadily, and shivers. "Gosh now I'm freezing."

Lisa places a hand against his forehead and gasps. "You're burning with fever. This is not good."

"Dash, is there something we can send him to help with his fever?"

He shakes his head. "We depleted our sponsor funds from sending them those climbing spikes, those weren't cheap."

I grind my teeth together. "Fever, okay depending on what kind of fever it is he could be fine by tomorrow."

Dash glances at me. "I sense an 'or' coming."

"Or…he could get worse and worse until…"

Dash runs a hand down his face. "Damn it."

"Ryder do you have any idea how you got this fever?"

He shakes his head, his skin looking pale. "No…wait a second. The insects, they can carry diseases and fevers right?"

Lisa nods. "But I got bit by them too, why aren't I sick?"

Ryder taps her bandaged shoulder. "That medicine we used, it works as a vaccine and antibiotic too. You're immune to whatever the bugs are carrying." He is shaking pretty badly now, and his words have started to slur slightly.

"Ryder, hey, stay with me, you're going to be fine."

He looks at her through foggy eyes. "I'm not going anywhere…got to look after you." He mutters, and then he passes out.

"Mags, any idea what kind of fever it is?" Dash asks concerned.

I shake my head. "No…for all we know it could be something the Capitol created." I hold a hand to my mouth and try not to sob. "Dash he's going to die…I can't…we need to help."

Dash wraps his arms around me tightly and rubs my back. "It's going to be alright, I promise. I'll get us more sponsors."

His voice is determined, but I hear the hint of fear in it. "No, you can't-"

"He's going to die if I don't, Mags." He pulls back slightly and gives me a sad smile. "It's worth it if it'll save his life. Now what kind of medicine would we need to send him?"

I survey the listed medicines available as sponsor gifts. "This one, its used for fevers and virus related illnesses."

Dash glances at the price, and turns pale.

I try not to think about how much it's going to take to raise that much money. "Dash…"

He turns to me, a sudden fierceness in his eyes. "No."

I frown. "You don't even know what I was going to say!"

"You were going to offer to help get sponsors, I won't let you."

Tears well up in my eyes as I glance back at the screens, a frantic Lisa trying to revive Ryder. "He's…he's going to die."

Dash puts his hands on my shoulders and forces me to make eye contact with him. "I'll get the money, I promise. How long do you think he can hold out for?"

I rub my forehead and turn back to look at him. "I don't…a day maybe? A little over twenty-four hours since he's young and in good shape, but that's just based on what I can tell and how fast the fever set in, I don't know it could be less than that or more, I just don't know, I don't know."

Dash hugs me tightly. "He's going to be alright. I have just enough time to get the money, but that leaves no time for watching what's going on or coming back here so you'll have to look after them on your own for the next twenty-four hours, do you think you can handle it?"

I nod shakily. "With what you're going through…I can handle it."

He smiles. "Good girl, I'll be back tomorrow. I'll ask the other victors who don't have tributes if they'd mind checking in on you." He plants a quick kiss on my forehead, and then practically bolts out of the room.

I turn back and look at the screens, and as I stare at Ryder's pale face, I wonder if Dash can make it in time.