Amy finds herself trapped in Zim's base, and he's losing it big time. He claims that he's been infected with some sort of poison that only human females care capable of producing. How can Amy help him and who is the one that is supposedly 'infecting' him. And why does she feel like she can relate? Set a couple of weeks before "Birthday of Wonder and Doom" methinks.

It had been a tiring day at skool and frankly all I wanted to do was curl up and go to sleep. But would luck have it that way. Well, anyone else's, luck, sure it would. But not mine. Dib had chosen to come home with me so that he could see if there was a way inside Zim's base from closer to mine, that way he would look less suspicious. I just groaned, he always looked suspicious around Zim's base! But still, he could carry on working if he wanted, I was too tired to argue.

We had to pass in front of Zim's house to get to mine. Now, looking back, I really should have seen the large sheet of glass that was blocking my way. But the sun was shining and I was tired. So I ended up slamming face first into it and falling flat on my back. Dib, taken by surprise had jumped backwards to avoid me and ever so charmingly letting me hit the ground.

"Man, are you okay?" he gasped.

I groaned from the floor and rubbed my face, "What the hell was that?"

He stepped around me and tapped the glass, "Who leaves a sheet of glass standing up like… Amy, why are you laying on an 'X'?"

I pushed myself up and looked down at the pavement slab I was sitting on. A large red 'X' had been painted directly where I had fallen. Confusion spread across my face. I was about to stand up and ask the very same question, when there was a grind of metal against metal. The slab suddenly vanished beneath me. Before I had time to register what was happening, I was falling.

Above me, the small square of light sealed shut, sending me plummeting into darkness. I landed harshly on some sort of metal sheet which tilted violently, sending me sliding downwards at an alarming pace. A shriek of fear escaped my but my breath was whipped away by the air whistling past me. Within seconds, a dim light was approaching beneath me. My feet hit the ground with sudden force, buckling my knees and sending me sprawling onto my stomach and wincing at the new grazes that had formed on my knees. I groaned from the pain and pushed my dazed self up and starting brushing myself off.

Where was I? Seriously? I actually had to ask? The swarms of machinery and computers along with the ceiling made of mainly wires and tubes were the main give away. The sound of someone clearing their throat made me jump and turn around. From the shadows emerged a green figure dressed in a dark pink uniform, glaring at me with ruby eyes, his antenna quirked in thought. I sighed and gave him a wave.

"Can't you just invite me in or give me a call like other people?" I asked with playful sarcasm.

"Zim could, but this is more fun."

"Well the glass sheet and trap door were new." I nodded, "So, why the sudden need for a drop-in visit?"

His shoulders slumped slightly at my nonchalant attitude, but quickly recovered, "Zim demands to know the secrets of the poisons you female humans produce!"

I blinked, really not knowing how to react to that one, "Uh… Can you rephrase that?"

He tilted his head in confusion. The alien stepped forward and began to circle me with curiosity in his eyes. A hand flicked at my hair and he stopped so that he was standing directly in front of me. His eyes travelled over me a few times before he leant forward and eyed my chest.

"You are female, aren't you?"

My hand smacked under his chin so that his head snapped back up to lock eyes with me, "Eyes up here dude." I warned.

"Answer the question!" he snapped, folding his arms like a child that had been scolded.

"Yes, I'm a girl, I thought that was pretty obvious. What's your point?" I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable.

Zim placed his fingertips together, "My point, human, is that I am fully aware that you females posses a poison that is capable of infecting the male mind. Zim is not aware, however, of why this poison is capable of infecting me when I am not even the same race!"

And he lost me again. Not that I was ever found, "Zim, I really have no idea what you're talking about. We don't contain poisons." The word felt wrong on my tongue, "Are you okay? Are you sick?"

"LIES!" he bellowed, "And Zim is not sick! I've been infected!"

"By who?" I asked, started to get a little worried for him.

"By… It does not matter by whom. Now, tell Zim how to cure this infection of the mind!"

I sighed, trying my best to keep my patience, "Zim. What exactly is this mind infection. What're the symptoms."

He tapped his chin in thought. I figured that if he wasn't going to explain who had 'infected' him, at least I could try and help him out figuring out what the problem was. Although, knowing him, it wasn't likely that I was going to get a straight answer anytime soon. Finally, he answered me, gripping his head in his hands.

"It's like a headache! Only instead of pain, there are thoughts of that human who shall remain unnamed. And in these thoughts, Zim wishes to see them more, but then when Zim does, he wishes to get away and stay at the same time! I wish to please them and destroy them and I feel disgusted yet intrigued! What is happening to Zim?"

I had been listening inventively, honestly never hearing an infection like that before. He looked at me desperately, yet with the usual glimmer of irritation. My mouth opened and then closed many times, trying to find a way to comfort him, yet still having no clue.

"Is there anything else?" smiling sheepishly.

"Clearly Zim must break this down for your inferior human mind." He deflated, "Is it possible to want to be with someone, yet want to create distance?"

There was something about that which reminded me of Dib. I wanted to hang out with him more, and see him and talk to him and every now and again I kind of wished to make myself physically closer to him. To have his arm on my shoulder or to brush my hand against his… But at the same time, I forced myself not to, because he was my friend and that was that. It wouldn't work and I wasn't going to try anything when he obviously didn't feel the same. So distance was good, in some sense. Wow, it really was conflicting.

"Yeah, it's really possible."

"This person fills your thoughts." He added, trying to make his point more clear.

"Most of the time."

"And when you are with said person, there is a need to make them happy, and make them suffer?"

"Yeah. Like you get dragged around by them and you're so sick of it that you just want to turn around and punch them in the mouth but then you go to do it and suddenly you just feel the need to go along with it because they ask you to!"

He hesitated and looked at me closely, "You are either very bad at keeping information from me, or you are infected yourself."

I blinked, "Neither. And how did this end but being about you questioning me?"

Zim smiled wryly at me, very pleased with the sudden turn of events. No, I refused to let him manipulate me. This conversation was just pointless and getting way off topic. This was about him and not me.

"So, are you going to tell me who infected you?" I asked, folding my arms.

"No, not unless you tell Zim what this disease is called."

I sighed. Why did he have to be so damn stubborn? Well that was a little hypocritical coming from me. But I was past caring. Right now I was fighting against my curiosity, my tiredness and my reluctant ability to relate to the alien. Wait, I was sympathising with him, relating to him. No, no I wasn't, I was understanding him. I did not have a connection in any way.

"I think… you've got a crush on someone." I smirked, "It means you're developing strong feelings for someone."

He widened his eyes in horror, "Zim has strong feelings of hatred towards the Dib-worm, is that an example of a crush because Zim assures you that Dib-filth is not the infector of Zim's head!"

I snorted with laughter and quickly corrected myself, "Strong positive emotions. And I guessed it wasn't Dib if you're asking for a female's help."

He huffed and glared at me, "So this 'crush' thing, is it dangerous?"

"That's a difficult question. Physically, no it's not dangerous and overall it's not deadly. Wait, it's not even a disease or infection; it's a state of mind. No one did this to you Zim, it's just something that's been building up." I smiled, "It's actually a pretty good thing more often than not."

"And what does one do to eliminate it? Zim is Irken, Irkens do not have these emotions and they must be taken away at once!" he said with a hint of desperation in his tone.

"You can't. It either goes away on its own, or it stays until you act upon it."

"Zim has no time to wait this out!"

"Then act on it!" I chuckled.

Zim hunched his shoulders and glared at the floor, "Zim does not know how. And neither does he wish to."

I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder which he either didn't notice or could not be bothered to shake off. In honesty, I had a pretty good idea who this 'infector' was, but I didn't want to make him mad by asking him again. It must have been mental torture for him to even ask me for help let alone continuing this conversation.

"Look, if waiting it out isn't going to work, then you'll have to do something about it. If you're worried, then you can…" I swallowed thickly, "Practice on me."

His eyes darted up to mine in disgust, "What are you suggesting, human?" he asked darkly.

"Well, pretend I'm this person, and then you won't feel so bad when you say it to them, because you've already done it before."

"So, kind of like training for an invasion?" he asked.

"Sure, why not." I smirked, "Now, take a breath, and whatever you want to say or do to that person, do to me."

I stood back and waited. Now, I wasn't sure what was about to happen. What I expected was for him to refuse and kick me out, clearly understanding that I was of no real help to him, because in fairness, I wasn't. Or maybe he would stumble a few words out and leave it at that. What actually happened, was a lot different.

His eyes narrowed hungrily and he shoved me in the chest so that I was thrown back against the wall, knocking the air out of me. As I gasped for air, his hands slammed against the wall either side of my head, palms flat against the wall and blocking an escape route. His face was inches from mine, his antenna tilting forward to weave in the strands of my hair. I found myself shaking slightly as his worm-like tongue slithered over his lips. Admittedly, my heart was hammering against my ribs, but this was a little too extreme for me, not to mention I was actually scared of him at that moment. I'd never seen a dominating look like that, he stared at me like I was his possession.

"You belong to Zim now… Little-Gaz…" He purred.

I shoved him in the chest and ducked under his arms to get away from him. I held out my hands to keep him at arms length and started backing away.

"Okay…" I gasped, "You may want to try a different approach!"

He seemed to snap out of his trance and clutch his head desperately, "It's taking over Zim!" he cried.

"Just, try something a little more, subtle." I paused, "Little-Gaz? It's Gaz? I knew it!"

"You know nothing worm-child!" he blurted, eyes darting, "Zim demands you leave now!"

I shook my head, "Hell no, I knew it was Gaz! Look, just go up to her and talk to her, ask her out maybe?"

"Oh because your last advice went so well!" he growled.

He had a point there, thinking about it, it had been a pretty stupid idea, "Well, yeah, but this one hopefully won't end up with you pining someone to the wall! Trust me, if you go up to her and say you like her, you might just be surprised by the outcome."

Thinking that maybe I'd overstayed my welcome, I chose to make my way towards the elevator and not turn back. Clearly I'd made him regret ever coming to me, which I felt awful about. I really wanted to help him, but as many people will already know, it's a hard thing to comment on. Only one person can know what to do, and that person is the one who is the most confused. Just as I was about to step inside the lift, he cleared his throat.

"So theoretically, if Zim was so confront this infection, it would be better?" he asked, eyed narrowed quizzically.

I smiled, "I think so."

"Then why doesn't the Amy-beast follow her own advice?"

He gave me a wry smirk as I vanished in the lift. His words hit me harder than his hands only minutes ago. I was blinded in a daze all the way out of his house. I didn't even notice Dib with a crowbar trying to prise open the trap door I had fallen down. He let it clang to the ground and rushed up to me and checked me over.

"Hey are you okay? You were gone for ages? Did he do any experiments? Did you get any pictures?"

I just let him carry on, he'd run out of steam soon enough. All that was going through my mind was… I didn't even know. Zim explaining his predicament to me had just opened up so many questions of my own. Had that been his plan, to confuse me? No, I think he was truly worried about his sanity back there. I hoped I had helped him, but I wasn't sure. But, where did that leave me?

Why doesn't the Amy-beast follow her own advice?

"Dib." I said, cutting him off.

He paused, eyes arched and waiting for me. What was I going to say? Could I say anything? I didn't know, but I had to say something, he was standing there waiting for me. I looked up at those amber eyes and smiled softly. He returned the smile, unsure of why.

"Dib… Do you mind helping me with chemistry homework?"

A/N:

Damn it, Amy! So close!