Disclaimer: All Twilight names, places and characteristics belong to the talented Stephenie Meyer. I just play with her toys.

Authors note: I'm hoping this chapter will give you all a better insight to how Bella has been thinking and how she's feeling. As well as a cute moment from Edward. Enjoy.

I hardly slept. I spent the rest of the night listening to Edward breathe and feeling like I was trapped in a bubble with no air inside.

The day before, I'd seen Edward's genuine side when he told me I could achieve so much more than being a porn star, and then I'd seen his honesty when he said that deep down, he didn't want to do the Valentine's film.

The truth was, I didn't know what I was going to do about my career, my life. Edward had triggered emotions within me that I'd never known possible. On Thursday, Edward and I would part ways, but I'd forever remember the way he makes me feel, I'd forever wonder when I might feel like that again... could I ever let another man touch me for the sake of money again?

Then I had Marcus to worry about of course.

Marcus.

What a asshole.

Who did he think he was? Guilt tripping me over the film, my best friend and my... My Edward. What had I turned into yesterday? Normally I would be bitch Bella and tell them to shove their ultimatum where the sun didn't shine... But I completely withdrew into myself. There was something about Marcus' tone that scared me.

I turned my head to see Edward still sound asleep. If I explained - maybe he would be okay with it? Maybe he would be willing to do this one thing for me? I wouldn't be fucking his brothers, this would just be me and him, like the other night.

Edward stirred gently, a quiet snore escaped him and I smiled. There was such a desired innocence about him. A gene in him that made him want to help people.

That thought alone made my smile widen. More memories about our pen pal letters were returning to me. Just watching him sleep, I remembered one particular letter:

Dear Bella,

I'm sorry if most of this letter doesn't make sense by the time it reaches you. I'm writing after staying awake all night. Yesterday I found a stray dog in Hyde Park, that's a big park in London. Anyways, my mother pointed out it was limping and I felt bad for it and figured with me wanting to be a doctor, I could probably help so I promised my Mum I would do all the dishes for a month if I could take it home. So I've been awake all night with the dog (I named him Hubert), I bathed his sore leg and wrapped it in some bandages I found in a first aid kit. We're taking him to the vet later today.

Anyway, write to you soon, Bella!

Oh and happy birthday!

Edward.

He'd been a teenage boy who was all heart.

I think asking him to do something he didn't want to, would break that heart.

I must have finally fallen to sleep through all of my worrying because I woke up after hearing a loud clanging sound in the bathroom. I sat up, almost alert and rubbed my eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you," Edward grinned sheepishly from the doorway.

He was barefoot and wearing only jeans. My eyes opened wide enough to see him just fastening the buckle. He ruffled his hair stylishly with one hand and reached for his t-shirt with the other.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I thought I'd head over to see Marcus, get him to name his price," Edward told me casually.

Now I was awake. I pushed back the sheets and crawled to the bottom of the bed.

"I just have to stop at my hotel for my cheque book," He smiled, one that looked a little nervous.

He was really going over to see Marcus.

"No!" I quickly said, clearly alarmed.

"Bella?" He questioned me.

Oh shit... what was I supposed to say now?

"I mean, um, you don't have to, I already straightened things out,"

It was half a lie. I kind of had, right?

Edward blinked in surprise and knelt down, dropping his shirt, he was just at the right level to plant a warm kiss to my forehead. His fingers brushed strands of my hair away from my face.

"I thought he'd be the last person you'd want to talk to after the way he spoke to you yesterday,"

I forced a smile.

"I thought it was just better to... get everything out in the open,"

"So, what happened?"

I made up a quick lie. I told Edward that Marcus felt a sense of guilt in the way that he'd spoken to me and the way he treated Eric. That he tried to understand why I freaked out given my history with Edward. I explained that eventually, after a few vodka shots and some honesty, Marcus agreed to let things slide this time but that he never wanted to hear my name again.

Edward grinned as if he was proud of my 'achievement' and placed one knee at the foot of the bed. Quite gently, he leant his body over mine, laying my back upon the bed and he began to kiss my neck, his breath tickled my skin. I giggled quietly, Edward quickly quietened me when his lips found mine.

A long, steamy kiss, I tasted mint when Edward's tongue swept across my lower lip, I couldn't help but gently lap at his tongue with my own, needing to taste him.

"Mmm... Bella," He groaned.

That sound was enough to make my panties damp in an instant. I was becoming distracted. I smiled and forced my lips away from Edward's. I dipped my head to touch our foreheads together and gazed into his eyes.

"Are you really relieved that you didn't have to go on camera?" I asked, innocently.

I prayed for a tiny glimmer of hope...

But Edward nodded.

"To start with, I was only okay in doing this, just because I wanted to meet you, and then I met you..." He suddenly stopped.

"Go on," I urged.

"I met you and you were better than I could have ever imagined, I couldn't bare the thought of my brothers touching you, and then we... Bella, we connected and by the time you brought me into your bed the other night, before anything even happened, I knew I loathed the thought of anyone seeing us intimate together..."

"But the films aren't real," I tried to defend, my eyes watering at Edward's heartfelt speech.

"I know that, but everything I would have felt in that room with you, everything I feel now, that is real, Bella. After that night, I didn't want any cameras prying in on that," He whispered emotionally.

I sniffed, struggling to fight the tears that wanted to flow.

Edward chuckled and kissed my wet eyes.

"Aww, Bella, I didn't mean to make you cry. Now, we have two full days left together, I say we make the most of them,"

"What did you have in mind?"

"I say we start with giving Eric the good news and then I'll take you both to lunch to celebrate. And then..."

"Then?"

Edward moved away from my body to stand, his hands buried into his jeans pocket as he became shy.

"Then tomorrow I'd like you all to myself, all day, and all night,"

"I'd love that," I told him honestly.

Edward smiled crookedly and nodded, telling me he couldn't wait.

The moment Edward has told me his feelings regarding this entire situation, I knew I couldn't tell him the truth. Guilt stung me like a nettle. Marcus would keep hold of the tape as insurance, maybe he never had the intention of releasing it.

It could stay a secret forever and Edward would never need to know.

I watched while Edward finally put on his t-shirt, concealing the body I craved. The body I craved but didn't want to take advantage of.

I sighed quietly to myself and knew I had to hope for the best. Once I was back in New York, I would be safe. I'd never see Edward again and he would be safe.

I just had to get this tape over and done with. I had to hope it would still mean something to me despite my deceit.

Tomorrow would be the night.

I had one hell of a romantic night to plan.

Until next time.

x