Legolas.

He stood outside Aragorns study for a long while before he managed to summon the courage to enter. He was afraid to seek out his company worrying about the tricks his mind now played on him when he saw his friend but it had to be done.

When he eventually entered Aragorn was startled, leaping up from behind his desk.

"Legolas! I didn't expect you."

Aragorn looked almost as tense as he felt and his heart ached at the gaping loss where the unconditional love of his friend had once stood.

"I need to speak to you."

Aragorn came around from behind the desk but he wished he would have stayed there, the barrier of the desk between them had made him feel safe. He edged away.

"I am sorry, my friend, for yesterday. I meant to come to you...but Elrohir was there...I thought it probably not wise."

He was certainly right in that. Legolas had no ability left to manage the delicate dance required from him by the two of them.

Aragorn continued to speak.

"Can you forgive me my neglect. I had no idea. I have been selfish."

"It is strange," his voice sounded cold and chilling even to his own ears, "Elrohir said the same thing. Do I have to tell you what I told him?"

"What is that?" Concern shone on Aragorns face.

"That you hurt me only by your lack of faith in me. You have no need for guilt over the sea-longing Aragorn. Why is it you trust me so little? I was a leader of men before you were born. I have fought the struggle against the dark for more years than you can count and yet you think me incapable of running my own life? Making my own decisions?"

"I do not!" Aragorn was offended. "Legolas, I see your worth. Do not say I carry no respect for you. I would flounder without your support."

"And yet, you feel you must take responsibility for all my decisions." He felt the beginnings of the now familiar anger churning within him.

"The sea longing is nothing to do with you Aragorn. I knew what it was I did. I had been warned, you heard it. I chose to go regardless. It was my decision and mine alone."

"I placed an expectation on you!" Aragorn cried.

"Do you not think I could not have disregarded that if I wished." He replied.

"In the end my choice had everything to do with myself, my people and my home and very little to do with you!"

The rage had conquered him now and he let it pour out.

"To tell the truth sometimes I think all you and Elrohir have in common is your low opinion of ME,"

He saw the look of hurt cross Aragorn's face and momentarily he was pleased, pleased to have seen that reaction, pleased to have succeeded in causing pain. but he quickly buried that feeling, it worried him.

"I do not wish to talk of this any further." He needed to change The subject before he forgot why he came.

"I have a request, there is something I need."

"Anything! Anything you need I will give Legolas!" Aragorn was desperate to appease him.

"I need to go home."

For a second Aragorn was taken aback but he recovered.

"Home?"

"To Ithilien, you know where my home is."

"I thought...perhaps the Greenwood, Your Father, they may help you..."

"No! That will not help me!" The anger flashed through him again. Would they never understand?

"I will leave tomorrow, I am fit to ride,"

"You will not go alone."

"Gimli will come." He had planned it already.

"No!"

Aragorn advanced on him and he hastely backed away.

"Are you mad? You will not go alone, you may be fit to ride...just...but you are not fit to defend yourself. At the least I will escort you, and Elrohir, no doubt Elladan as well. How foolish can you be Legolas?"

"A trip caught between you and your brothers...that is sure to do me good." Even he winced at the sarcasm of his words.

"That is final Legolas." Aragorn would not be argued with.

"I cannot hold you here, You may go if you wish, but I WILL come with you."

Seeing Aragorn in his anger made him uneasy, nervous even and he turned to leave, keen to put space between them but as he reached the door Aragorn called him back.

"Legolas!"

"Yes."

"You will not disobey me on this. There will be a guard on your door and the soliders at the gate will have orders not to let you past. I will be speaking with Gimli. I have no doubt you have not fully informed him of your plans."

He stood sulkily and said nothing, what was there to say. Aragorn had seen right through him, of course he had planned to go without them regardless.

"Do you understand me?"

He pressed back against the door, eager to escape the anger raining upon him.

"What choice do I have?"

"None, Legolas. You have none."

...

Elrohir.

"He intends to do what?!"

He was furious, burning with white hot rage and he could not believe his ears.

He felt Elladan lay a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Perhaps Ithilien is the best place for him. I can see merit in it."

" You will not support him in this?! It is madness..,,to go on his own? The men who did this to him are still out there."

" He is NOT going on his own. I have made sure of that."

It was Aragorn at his most stern.

"How could he do this? Not even tell me?"

It was a feeling of betrayal and rejection that encompassed him. He had thought he was making headway and it was so obviously not the case.

"He is not himself, Elrohir," Elladan tried once again to calm him.

"You know this. He does not mean to hurt."

"He does! He does!" He cried, "That is exactly what he means to do. He chooses his words with care, just so they will hurt the most! It is so hard Brother, you have no idea, but this...this... it is too much!"

He was still raging when he left them and went in search of Legolas. It was Gimli he found first.

"Where is Legolas," he demanded.

If Gimli was surprised by his demeanour he didn't show it,

"In the gardens, with Arwen. But do you think you are in the best mood to be with him? He is angry enough himself today. Perhaps it is not wise?"

"He is always angry." He spat back. "And he WILL hear me out today!"

Legolas was exactly where Gimli had said he would be. Seated in the gardens with Arwen at his side. He paused briefly to watch them. Legolas, pale and tense but still glowing with beauty. Oh how he loved him. Oh how the loss of him ached. It was agony, to have him here and yet not. To be shut out so viciously.

His anger flared, his rage was all encompassing. He knew he was losing control but he could not stop. In fact the loss of control felt good, exhilarating in a way if he did not stop to think of the consequences.

"Legolas!" He snarled.

There was no mistaking his fury and Legolas leapt to his feet anxious, a picture of nervousness.

"You would leave? You would leave me without a word?"

"I have to."Legolas's face blanched white. "I need to."

He said he needed to. He needed to leave him. The rejection broke him and the thin sliver of control he still had was lost. All his anger, his hurt and rejection he showered upon those walls that kept his lover from him. Walls he had been unable to break down with love.

"Do you know? Do you know what it was like to find you there...broken, damaged? Do you know what that has done to me? I carry those images forever. You would risk that again? You do not even care!"

"Please Elrohir, stop!" It was Arwen, holding him back but he knocked her aside and advanced on his lover. He did not even notice the fear in Legolas's eyes as he stumbled backwards away from him.

"I cannot do this!" He screamed, "You care nothing for me. You push me away. I can stand it no longer. It is too hard, Legolas, It is too much!"

He needed him to understand. He needed that with a passion, he had to reach him somehow and that was all he thought about as he grabbed hold of his tunic and hauled him close to shout in his face.

"Stop it Legolas. Stop hurting me!"

He did not see the wide eyes, the face drained of colour, the clenched fists. He did not see the wild punch thrown in terror.

Until it struck his jaw and knocked him to the ground.