(kudos readers, I have made it past 10 say if with me now please. …FI-NA-LAY!)
American version
America: I guess I'll clean out that closet…even though it makes me depressed…and I start crying…a Hero doesn't fear depression, or tears…bring it on!
*Walks into closet, door shuts*
"Damn, it's dark in here…"
Know your stars …
Know your stars …
Know your stars …
*spot light on him*
"Ooo, is this like Scene It, I love that game!"
Alfred F. Jones, still plays games, how childish
"There's nothing childish about games!"
Alfred F. Jones, the F. stands for Fat ass
"Okay not cool, it does not, it stand for-!"
Alfred F. Jones, is so slow he thinks hamburgers are healthy and delicious
"They are, they're the best food on the entire plant! "
Alfred F. Jones, you must be from another planet then
"My friend Tony's from another planet…Tony is that you?"
Alfred F. Jones, Mathieu is bigger than you
"In size or population?"
Where it counts
"Whatever, I have a huge Florida! …What's he got..?"
Alfred F. Jones, doesn't speak real English
"Then what do you think I'm speaking now?"
Alfred F. Jones, you speak some reduplicated form of British English with provincialism* and slang
"….What does that mean?"
Alfred F. Jones, It means your language is quite nice….
"I knew it! I'm gonna tell Iggy!"" -Calls England on cell-
-ring ring- -ring ring-
"What the BLOODY HELL do you want America?"
"England, I speak British English with provin..cial..ism and slang, isn't that awesome!"
"….Do you know what time zones are you git!" -Hangs up- -4am-
"Well, … I thought it was cool" -9pm-
Alfred F. Jones, collects junk
"I do not; I have lots of useful things!"
Alfred F. Jones, when was the last time you used that musket?
"-Sharp inhale-…..whimpers…"
Alfred F. Jones, … you're making this awkward for me
"What, it's not like I'm crying…Heroes don't cry!" -Laughs nonstop-
Alfred F. Jones, Good cause I didn't wanna hear it, but then again….your laugh is annoying
"My laugh is amazing and Heroic!"
Heroic like Mario or Heroic like Superman
"Both of them combined Heroic!"
Ugh…what a horrible mental image I need cyanide to kill it, heroes shouldn't scar others like this
"I'm still am awesome hero"
Who told you that lie?
"It's not a lie I am the hero and I laugh Heroically!"
Alfred F. Jones, if by heroically you mean, a nerd then yes, you are very very heroic
"I know I am!…wait did you just insult me…?"
Alfred F. Jones, have you seen Shrek
"I love moves!"
Explicit Movies and Shrek?
"What?"
I'll take that as a yes, I would like to inform you that your new theme song is the song that the fairy god mother on Shrek sings, it goes like this
"I need a hero….blah blah blah I need a hero in my life…"
or this song by that one guy
"I can be your hero baby!…I can take away the pain! I….will…."
Or maybe this one by foo fighters
"There goes my hero! Watch him as he goes, dunnununun"
"…Who are you? And why are you singing in my closet"
Alfred F. Jones, I'm that burger you couldn't finish 32 years ago
"I've Never not finished a burger in my life!"
Touché Alfred F. Jones, double negatives
"hahahahhahhahahhahhahahah! I know…wait what?"
Alfred F. Jones, I'm that Scone England gave you
"That,… make sense cause I didn't eat it, I don't know where it went…do I hoard things?"
Now you know Alfred F. Jones, an humanoid Extraterrestrial with dead taste buds. When he landed on earth he tried to adapt to the British language, but that didn't turn out too well, or good at all. Now he collects junks and has delusions of being a Super hero as a result of spending too much time watching explicit movies and playing fantasized hero action games. Whenever England gives him presents in the form of food America throws it in this closet where it has taken the form of a vengeful Toxic Scone that sings songs with the word Hero in it. Also, his junk is small
*Door open*
You may leave
"Finally! I'm hungry! By scone monster."
By mom
*DOOR SHUTS*
"…WHAT!" -shudder-
America:-Call England- ring ring- ring-
England: "What, what could you possibly want at four in the bloody morning now!
America: "Remember those scones you gave me"
England: "AND!"
America: "I never ate them…they just kinda festered and mutated in my closet where I store them."
England: "You…you ungrateful git….you're telling me, you made some kind of delicious scone mass in your closet with the precious scones I gave you."
America: "Yeah kinda…except he's angry and… toxic and …it called me mom so you're…"
England: =_=…..Not my demon scone child at a 4 in the morning -hangs up-
America: "ugh!…"-Ring ring- ….. "…Hey Canada…"
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Begin A/n
( Learn something new:
Scene it is some American game or something like that.
Canada is bigger that US by size not population.
Provincialism is narrow-mindedness, lol big words
There is a 5,6,7,or 8 time difference between UK and US depending on where you are in the US)
The voice is not really a scone monster.
Also Ladyofthelake13 I couldn't use those things because you said them…I like to surprise the readers with my stupid ness…Sorry? Everyone else just go ahead and suggest characters and I will get to them in the order they come….or if you want a redo of another character, I could do that to…sorry about the long A/n end