And so it happened that Castiel came to the hospital almost every day, sometimes he told Dean about their time together, sometimes Dean would pull him into a hug and they just sat there for a long time, and sometimes, Dean had to sleep and Castiel just sat there, watching him.
Even in his sleep, Dean looked worried. Worried about Sam, worried about who would get him food, and even worried about Castiel. But Dean Winchester wasn't someone who would worry about himself. He didn't even care about the hospital; he just wanted to get out soon so he could go back to Sam.
Sam and Bobby came by almost as much as Castiel. Sometimes the four of them just sat together in Dean's room, talking, and there were times where Sam, Bobby or Castiel wanted to speak with Dean alone. One time, Castiel just walked away when he overheard Bobby say something to Dean.
"You can't keep this up much longer, boy. I see it when I look at you," he mumbled.
"But I have to," Dean whispered back. "I have no other choice."
Castiel wondered what that was about, but he didn't ask. He knew both Dean and Bobby wouldn't be very happy Castiel had heard a part of their private conversation, and besides, it wasn't Castiel's business. He walked to the cafeteria where Sam sat. As he got a drink from the machine and sat at the table, he said hey. They chatted for a few minutes when Sam suddenly got a bit emotional.
"I never said thank you, even when you deserve it. You have done so much, for both me and Dean." Castiel wanted to tell Sam it was okay, but Sam was clearly not done yet.
"You have given Dean such a good time, and I haven't seen him that happy in years. Even now that he doesn't remember you, I know you still haven't walked away, and that means a lot to him. He won't say it himself, but I am his brother and I know it." Sam cleared his throat before he went on.
"And also, you've done so much for me. You walk with me every day from school to Bobby and you've cared so much for me… It's like I have a second brother. Even when Dean wasn't in the hospital you came by and you always helped me with my homework or brought me a new book, I wanted to thank you for that, so yeah." It was silent for a minute.
"Thanks," Castiel replied. "I don't really know how to say it but I'm really honored by your words."
Before any of them could say anything else, Bobby walked towards them, and their "chick-flick" moment was over. However, Castiel kept thinking about it on the way home. Had he really been that much of an impact on Dean's mood? Sure, Dean was happy when he saw Castiel but Castiel never knew how much that was for someone like Dean.
The next day, he went to Dean again for the last part of his story. He told Dean about how he had been teaching Castiel things in the garage, how Dean had been smiling proudly when Castiel did something right.
He told Dean about how much he missed Dean during his classes, and he even told about Miss Talbot, who had been a lot nicer since Dean stopped showing up.
"Do they ask for me, our classmates?" Dean asked. Castiel shook his head. "No, you've only been there for a few weeks; I don't even think they remember you. They're all too busy with the upcoming dance event and all the other stupid things in their own little worlds." Dean nodded. "Good. That means you're not getting any questions because of me and I don't have to feel guilty for leaving you there."
They chatted some more, and then Castiel had to go home. "When will I see you again?" Dean asked. Castiel smiled, Dean had always asked that at the end of his visit.
"I don't know, we've got a pretty big project coming up, but I'll make some time for you," he promised. Dean's face lit up, and right after, he sunk in a deep sleep. He had been awake for too long already. His wounds were healed well, but he still needed his rest.
As Castiel walked out of the room and closed the door, he almost bumped into John Winchester. "He… He's asleep," he stumbled, not knowing what to say. But John didn't come here for Dean.
"Good. I need to talk to you," he told. Castiel froze. What did John want from him?
"You've been around Dean more often than I would like, and I have no idea what you're trying to bring him in to, by my son is no faggot. So if I ever see you try anything, I will personally come here and kick your ass. I don't trust you, and I don't care what Dean says, it won't change my mind. Now get out here, and I'll wait till he wakes up again."
Castiel nodded quickly before walking away, almost running. Had John known of the relationship between him and Dean? Or was it just a lucky guess? They had been hiding it well, Castiel thought. If he ever came by at Dean's house, he made sure to always bring his bag with some books, so if John came home they'd have an excuse. Sam hadn't known anything either, the only others who knew about it were Bobby and Charlie.
Suddenly, Castiel realized he had been focusing on Dean so much, he had practically forgotten Charlie. He felt shame, Charlie had been his only and best friend, but since Dean had come around, she had been the third wheel. He quickly texted Charlie on his way home and asked if she wanted to hang out the next day.
She responded as only Charlie could: 'he finally got caught up with all your chick-flick moments?" she said.
He laughed, and responded with "yeah that too, but I just realized I have been ignoring you a bit (not on purpose)".
"Hey that's okay, I understand it. Now that we talk about it, I have seen this girl and I need you to talk to her and see if she's into guys or not… we'll discuss it tomorrow. Your house after school?"
Castiel said that was okay, and put on some music while walking home. He smiled as he heard one of Dean's favorite numbers, "Eye Of The Tiger". One time in the garage, Dean had sung the whole song while doing some strange dance thing on the top of a car.
Those were the good times. He hoped they would get more of those when Dean got out of the hospital. He was almost healed, and they didn't find any weird things in his brain. He still wondered why Dean could remember all of what happened, except Castiel.
At least he had told Dean everything now, maybe it would come back soon. Otherwise, they could just start over again, if Dean wanted to.
The next day, Castiel went to school as always, and after school he and Charlie walked home. She didn't have a car either, but luckily she was just like Castiel and didn't mind a walk. They chatted a bit on the walk home and complained about all the homework they had gotten. Charlie took other classes than Castiel but both of them had so much to do; there was barely time to relax.
Castiel's mother was also happy to see Charlie again. "It has been too long," she said before pulling Charlie into a hug.
"Thanks Mrs. Novak, I'm happy to be here again." They went to Castiel's room and the longer they talked, the more he realized how much he had missed. As Charlie put out a picture of a girl, she told him about how awesome the girl was, and that she played the same games, and how nice it would be if she liked Charlie back.
"Would she like me? I mean, I'm just a girl like all the others," Charlie said, thinking.
"Of course you are not! You are amazing, and the best friend I've ever had! And besides, you're so weird, there's no one like you," Castiel teased her, but she knew he didn't mean it. He said she had to take the change and go for it herself; maybe sending Castiel to girls was the wrong way. "
I'm sure she'll like you, so why not try? If she doesn't, you can use my shoulder to cry on."
Charlie laughed and they talked about a lot of other things before she had to go home. "Bye Cassie, I guess I'll see you tomorrow if you're not skipping class for a certain person!" Charlie winked.
"Nah, I will go after school. Nice to hang out again, see you!"
When Castiel got out of school the next day, he rushed to the hospital. Luckily, today he was the only one to visit Dean and after a short knock on the door, he entered the room. Dean looked like he was sleeping, but as soon as he heard the door, he opened his eyes.
"Hey there! Haven't seen you yesterday." Dean looked a bit sad as he said that.
"I hung out with Charlie yesterday, but hey I'm here today, right?" Dean smiled at his reply and gave him a hug.
As they talked, Castiel noticed how sad Dean looked. He asked if something was wrong, but Dean assured him everything was alright. "I just wanted to ask something, but I don't know how." He explained.
"Well, try me, I can handle pretty much." Castiel was curious. Dean who didn't know how to ask something? That was new, but after all, Dean had just heard their past weeks together, and Castiel could imagine how that must feel.
If someone had come up to him and told him they had been boyfriends for the past weeks, he wouldn't believe it either. "Hey? You there? You dozed off for a moment I think," Dean said and Castiel snapped out of his thoughts.
"Yea sorry, what did you want to ask?" Dean looked away and swallowed before he asked something Castiel could have only dreamed of.
"I thought about all you told me, and I wanted to ask… Can I kiss you? I know it seems weird but I just…"
At first, Castiel thought he had been imagining it, but Dean was still there, green eyes looking at him, an expecting look on his face. "Of course you can, I thought it would be weird for you so I didn't talk about it that much," Castiel replied.
Dean just smiled, and kept looking as he leaned towards Castiel. One more look into those green eyes before Castiel shut his own and pressed their lips together, just like he did with their first kiss.
They started off slow, but soon, Dean became more passionate. He pulled his hand in Castiel's hair and the other one around his neck. Castiel's arms slid around Dean's waist and pulled him close.
This felt better than ever, and he only now realized how much he had missed this, how much he had missed Dean.
Their kiss came abruptly to an end when a nurse walked in. they didn't realize it at first, but she coughed awkwardly and laughed. "You're cute together," she said. "But sadly, you'll have to come back another time because right now, Dean needs to sleep." Castiel nodded and looked into Dean's eyes once more before mumbling a goodbye and going out of the room.
He didn't see Dean's sad face; he didn't hear Dean's mumbled words. He didn't know what was going to happen, and if he did, he probably would have stayed longer, watching Dean sleep. But he didn't know, and therefore he went home as always, to come back the next day.
Castiel had been excited the whole day; he couldn't wait to see Dean again. He wanted to tell him how great it felt to kiss again. How much he had missed it, and how glad he was Dean didn't reject him. When it was finally time to go home, he sprinted the whole way to the hospital, causing him to need a minute to catch his breath.
He walked inside, straight to Dean's room. The door was open, which was weird. Dean's door had always been closed.
He walked in, and needed a moment. The room was empty. The bed was empty, and looked like Dean had never been there. Had it all been a bad dream? He turned around and went to the woman behind the desk.
"Hey, I wanted to ask something… room 324, Dean Winchester, could you search that for me please?" The woman typed something, and looked at the screen before turning back to Castiel.
"He has been released last night; I thought he would have told you." Castiel thanked her and walked outside, wondering why Dean hadn't told him.
Maybe he wanted to surprise me? But he didn't do such things. Why didn't he tell me? He arrived at Dean's house and his heart stopped. There was no Impala, the curtains were open and it looked like no one had been there. But there had been, Castiel saw a certain spot on the kitchen table from when Sam had accidentally dropped his food and they couldn't get it fully cleaned up.
He started to worry and ran to Bobby's. As he walked in through the garage, Bobby saw him coming and walked towards him. "Hey there, boy," was his usual greet.
"Dean… Castiel choked out, and burst out in tears. Dean wasn't here either, and there was no other place he could be.
"I was there last night," Bobby said. "I care for Dean like he's my own son, and I've talked to him. He told me something, and I think it will be clear for you in a while. Last night, he asked me to give this to you," he held out a few papers as he spoke. "I suggest you go home, and read it there. Don't want any accidents to happen, do we boy?"
Castiel couldn't do anything but nod. He thanked Bobby and took the papers. The whole way home, his mind was full of thoughts. Dean is gone. Gone. Why didn't he tell me? Why did he tell Bobby and not me? He just kissed me yesterday and now he's gone? Where did he go?
He arrived home and went straight to his room. He sat on his bed and opened the papers. As he read the first two words, he froze.
Dear Cas,