Elrohir.

It took him some time to realise Legolas was not in the midst of the partying Woodelves but when he did he went looking for him. He felt the beginnings of panic as his eyes roved over the hall and found no sign of him but he told himself he was being foolish. This was Legolas's home and he was quite safe here.

" Are you looking for someone?"

A soft voice sounded in his ear and he turned to see Legolas by his side.

"Looking for you! Where have you been?" He smiled.

" It has been a trying night. I have been lectured by both your brothers."

He frowned as he took in Legolas's pale complexion. He looked tired and drawn, and he was sure he could see pain lurking behind his eyes. He reached out and gently turned his face towards him. It was such a relief to be among elves, not men and not to have to hide their gestures of affection.

"You do not look well, shall I call someone, a healer?"

Legolas smiled though he thought the smile was not completely genuine.

" No healers! If you speak to just one of them they will be swarming all over me. I just need some rest, I thought you might join me?" and he tilted his head rather suggestively.

He would take Legolas's lead then and not call for help though he did not believe for a minute he didn't need it.

"Come on then, he said with gusto, " If you need rest then rest we shall have!"

It took moments only to reach Legolas's rooms. He sat there and watched as he paced with restless tension. What was bothering him?

" Legolas, be still! All this moving is getting you no rest, here.."

He patted the bed beside him.

"Come sit with me and relax."

Legolas huffed in frustration but in the end came and sat. He leaned back against him, his head on Elrohir's chest and closed his eyes.

" I cannot relax Elrohir, my mind will not stop"

He lifted his hand and began to stroke the cascade of pale gold hair and the head of his lover trying to calm him.

"What is it that worries you so?" He remembered then what Legolas had said of his brothers.

"What did my brothers say to you?"

"They spoke of us."

"Of us?" He scowled at that,

"We are not their business."

"They are your brothers Elrohir," Legolas replied softly. "Of course you are their business. They worry for you."

"They need not." He was angry now.

"What you and I do is nothing to do with them."

Legolas was silent, he did not reply and after several minutes he wondered if he was asleep but it was not so. Eventually he spoke, his voice quiet and uncertain.

"Aragorn accuses me of being afraid, he says I run from you."

His anger flared again at that.

"Then he does not know you! You never run, That is my weakness, I am the one who runs and hides."

Under his hand Legolas shook his head.

"I think he is right Elrohir, we are both guilty. You are afraid I will leave you, and I...I am afraid I will not be able to stay."

His hand paused mid stroke and he froze as a chill crept over his heart. What did he mean by that? That he thought he could not stay? He repeated the words numbly.

"You will not be able to stay? What do you mean?"

He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Please let him not leave.

Instead of answering his questions Legolas began talking as if he had said nothing.

"Do you remember when we were first together?"

"Of course!"

He did, how could he ever forget it.

"It was a happy accident was it not?"

"Yes..."

What was Legolas trying to tell him? That he still saw their love as something accidental and casual?

""Remember we told each other it was nothing serious, a fling and no more. Do you remember that Elrohir?"

"Yes..."

He struggled to get the words out, was that what Legolas wanted? To return to that? He didn't think he could do it.

"I was fooling myself then," Legolas continued, "For it was never that. Not for me, right from the beginning I was in too deep. I knew there was something...and it terrified me."

He could hardly believe what he was hearing. This could not be true. He thought back to those early days together, Legolas had given no sign of anything serious, anything more than the casual connection they had both said it was.

"Right from the beginning?" He questioned,

"Before...before Mirkwood?"

"Yes."

Legolas opened his eyes and stared up into his own.

"Right from the beginning Elrohir, from that moment I knew there would be no-one else. I was frightened, that was not how I saw myself...how could I not end up doing something to destroy it? Make a mistake and alienate you? And so I pretended it was not real. I have pretended all this time to some extent. No wonder you fear I will leave you. I have been afraid I could not give you the commitment that you need. Now I realise I have no choice even if I wished it, my heart decided that all those years ago and it has never strayed."

He was breathless with surprise and astonishment. How could he answer this? To know he was needed by someone, as desperately as he needed them was exhilarating. For a moment he was freed from his self doubt and it was a blissful feeling.

His hand began to move softly through the golden hair again soothing and calming.

"You give me all that I need Legolas. I need nothing else. How can you not know that? I too knew from the first, the very first. Why did you say nothing?!"

Legolas laughed softly,

"And why did you not? You forget how young, naive and out of my depth I was there! You, you were one of the great Sons of Elrond. The elves of Imladris gathered to you like moths to a flame caught up in your brilliance...and I was caught too. I had no choice but to pretend my nonchalance!"

He smiled too at the thought of that young, naive Legolas.

"But now you know me better," he said, "and you see I am not so great after all."

"Oh no, you are just as magnificent to me Elrohir. You shine, you mesmerise me. Aragorn is right. I have been so afraid my fickleness would destroy the love between us."

He raised a hand just as Elrohir opened his mouth to answer that,

"No don't protest Elrohir, I AM fickle, I am changeable and wild. I flit from place to place, one idea to another, even my Father will tell you that. It has been the bane of his existence. Gimli is quite right when he calls me flighty. I know it. But in this one thing, my love for you, I have always been true."

He leaned forward, rested his chin upon Legolas's head and enfolded him in his arms. He was overwhelmed by this discovery and his heart soared with a feeling of utmost joy.

" I wish you had told me." He whispered.

Within his embrace Legolas sighed and he saw a tear running down that beautiful face. He reached up and brushed it away.

" What is it? What is wrong?"

"Aragorn leaves in the morning."

Things were so tense between his brother and Legolas that he wondered at this distress. He had thought Aragorn's departure would be a relief, not upsetting.

" He will not be that far away Legolas. You can go to Minas Tirith-"

Legolas cut him off mid sentence.

"You go with him."

Then it dawned on him, he should have spoken to him earlier than this.

"Always we are apart Elrohir, and always it hurts, it hurts so very badly although I pretend it does not. I am so sick of it."

The tears fell rapidly now.

" Hush,"

He cradled him closer to him.

" I have been thinking. I should have told you. I will not be returning with Elladan to Imladris, not for a while."

Legolas stilled, it was as if he even held his breath.

" What?"

He rushed on eager that he not misunderstand him.

"I need to be with Estel...I have treated him badly, I will need to spend some time with him and Arwen, to try to reclaim some of the time I have lost... But you will not be far away when I am there...you could come..."

Legolas let the breath out with a shudder, there was a long moment of silence before he spoke and when he did it was obvious he was struggling.

"I do not think I can go to Minas Tirith Elrohir, not now...not for a while, even if you are there. Still it is not so far away as Imladris...I suppose that is better. I am glad...I am glad you reconnect with Aragorn for both your sakes."

It was then he realised Legolas didn't understand at all. In his rush he had said it all wrong.

"You don't understand Legolas, I will be visiting Estel only. I intend to stay here with YOU. I just wanted you to know I will have to go there...to see my brother and my sister also."

"You will stay here?"

Legolas sounded disbelieving.

"For a few months only...I have to go back to Elladan, but he has Glorfindel, he will do well enough without me for awhile!"

Legolas sat up abruptly and spun around to face him.

"You choose to stay here," he repeated, "with me?"

"Yes," he said and he lifted a wayward strand of hair from Legolas's face.

"Yes I choose that. I want that."

Legolas was shaking, he felt him tremble underneath his hands.

"What is wrong? Do you not want it? Is this the wrong thing for me to do?"

"You have never...I never thought you would...always Elladan has come first, I had accepted that. You will put me first in this?"

He was shocked by that and he remembered Legolas saying something similar at the camp by the forest.

"Surely you know you are always first in everything for me? Elladan is my brother, I love him, we are two halves of the same whole. Without him I do not know what I would do. When we are apart I miss him with all my heart but I do not yearn for him as I do you. I do not feel my very soul ripped apart by his absense, I do not ache to my depths as I do when I am without you."

He stroked Legolas's cheek softly and drew him closer.

"It is always you. It will always be you."

They stayed like that close and entwined for several minutes until Legolas pulled back from him sharply.

"This is what Elladan meant. I did not understand. Have you spoken to him of this?"

He grimaced at that.

"Of course I have. We have spoken of little else for the last two days...when we are speaking to each other at all! What has he said?"

"He does not trust me with you."

That made him angry.

"He is wrong."

"What if he is right Elrohir. What if... I do not even trust myself."

"He is wrong,"

He repeated firmly.

"and if you do not trust yourself then you are wrong also."

"He accused me of taking you from him. It made no sense, but now... he is so unhappy. I do not wish to come between you."

He grasped Legolas's hands and held them tight.

"You could never come between us. Nothing can. Ignore our quarrels, we have always bickered. Elladan will go back to Imladris and Glorfindel will tell him how silly he is being. When I return he will have missed me and all will be forgotten."

He smiled at the thought of that reunion.

"I promise I will make sure we do not part on bad terms. He needs to get used to this. The people of the wood are leaving, you know this and when last we saw our Grandfather he spoke of moving to Imladris with what is left of them. When that happens I will be coming here to be with you, until we sail, the both of us."

A glorious, beautiful smile spread across Legolas's face at that.

"I feel I must be dreaming! I did not imagine this would be possible."

"It will do Elladan and I good to be apart. We need to be." He continued, a spark of joy alight within him at the sight of that smile.

"And you and I Legolas, finally, deserve to be together."