The clown prince of crime wasn't actually entirely sure how he'd managed to dance his way into the scenario he was in. He was here, in the arms of his beloved arch-nemesis - the one and only Batman - dying, while Batman simply ignored him and kept on carrying him to whatever godforsaken place they were headed to.
Not that he was complaining. He actually much adored the way Batman was carrying him like they'd just married; like he was carrying Joker to a car set to go to a hotel, where they'd have a romantic dinner and leave a 'do not disturb' sign on the doorknob before entering their hotel room together, hand-in-hand.
'Naah, cut it out, me. No reason to plan everything out so soon in advance - he hasn't even popped the question yet! Planning would take the fun out of everything.' He thought to himself and tried to snicker, but only managed to send himself into yet another coughing fit.
It wasn't long before Joker found out his hunch had been right - Batman was carrying him into the Mad Hatter's section of Arkham City.
"Oh, hell. Think you could drop me off here, Bats? I'd rather not see this freak right now."
Again, Batman refused to respond to Joker.
"... That freakish mask on your face. He's controlling you, isn't he? I should've known. I feel stupid for not realizing sooner! So Hatter wants me, is that it?"
"..."
"Can't you speak? Or has the rabbit strung your tongue around his ugly pocket-watch?"
"..."
"Bats, can you even hear me? Do you have any idea what's going on? For God's sake, give me some sort of sign! A hand twitch! A slight mouth movement! A mumble! Anything!"
"..."
Joker reached up to smack the mask off of Batman, but the Dark Knight simply dropped him and caught his leg with the Batclaw before yanking him back up into his arms and continuing on his way.
"Was that supposed to startle me, Bats? You're so predictable."
After a few more minutes of Batman gliding and performing acts of incredible agility, all with the light-weighted Joker laying weakly in his arms, he came to a brief halt and opened a door. He stepped inside, and next thing Joker knew, he was watching the Mad Hatter himself stand up from a table lined with hypnotized thugs and bow.
"Ah, Alice has arrived!"
Joker furrowed his brow. Alice? Where was Alice? Here? Since when?
"Sit, sit!" Hatter beckoned.
Batman placed Joker down in the chair parallel to Hatter across the long dining table before sitting in the closest chair to Joker's right.
"So what's the big idea? If you don't already know, I'm dying, so I'd really much rather have stayed back where I was-"
"Would you like to see a card trick?"
"... What have you done to Batman?"
"Oh, that! Don't mind that. He's mine now."
"Don't mind it? You've taken my precious Batman and turned him into even more of a freak! Normally, I wouldn't be complaining... but breaking Batman's my job, not yours!"
"I would like to show you a card trick."
Joker sighed. "I'm already bored by you. Get it over with."
Mad Hatter stepped up onto the table and knelt on one knee in front of Joker. He pulled out a handful of cards and spread them out, the back of the cards facing the ceiling. "Pick a card, any card."
Joker hesitantly reached out and plucked a card from Hatter's grip. He flipped it over and looked at it.
A joker. Just his luck.
He looked up at Hatter with his vibrant, yet currently bloodshot, green eyes as he slowly returned the card to the hand, while still keeping it hidden from him.
Hatter pulled out the rest of the deck and slipped the dealt hand in. He started shuffling, and took his sweet goddamned time in doing so, until he finally decided to get on with it.
"Is this your card?"
Joker jumped a little when he saw the card had an image of himself on it. He paused for a moment, however, and realized that the card revealed to him was, in fact, not a card at all - it was a simple hand mirror. He stammered, wondering if perhaps this was a trick question.
A grin that made Joker feel sick to his stomach spread across Hatter's face. "Is this card, a Joker, your card, my sweet Alice?"