Never Alone
"All Through the Night" (1784)
Traditional Welsh Folksong
Chapter Thirteen
Guardian angels God will send thee,
All through the night.
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,
Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,
I am loving vigil keeping,
All through the night.
Kathleen was rocking and feeding the newest addition to the Barkley clan when she heard a familiar noise outside the room, Nick's spurs hitting the floor as he walked. It made her heart stiffen and sit straighter than she'd been doing. Ever since the family had received the tragic news about Jarrod, she'd been antsier than she'd ever imagined she could get. If it weren't for the baby, she'd have jumped up and ran out in the hallway…just to make sure she wasn't hearing things. As it was, she found herself holding her breath as the door began opening.
Nick, who had been ridding Coco practically nonstop from Lodi, stepped into the room. As his eyes fell upon the sight that met his eyes, he felt an overpowering sense of gratitude for life. He hurried up to the room he shared with Kathleen and was soon looking at his wife and newborn daughter. For a moment, nothing was said and then Nick knelt on the floor in front of his wife and the infant in her arms. Even though the infant was attached to her mother, Nick took a hold of one her small hands. Both he and Kathleen grinned wide as the child grasped his finger very tightly. "She's got a strong grip." Nick looked up at his wife with a bit of regret in his eyes. "I'm sorry for not being here when she was born." He truly hated that part.
Kathleen had wanted Nick to believe she was angry with him when he returned, but that desire had quickly dissipated the moment Sheriff Madden had shown up with the news about her brother-in-law. It had made her realize not only how short life could be, but how dangerous it was just to take your loved ones for granted. She unlatched the child at her bosom and handed the young child to her father. As she covered herself up once more, Kathleen asked, her eyes fighting tears and her voice cracking, where they'd laid Jarrod and how soon Heath would be home and just when she'd be able to meet this Whispering Pines he'd wired them about.
Nick shook his head as he continued looking at his daughter, both admiring her and at the same time fighting the anger he had inside of him…the anger that said Jarrod should be next to him looking at his niece instead of lying in a room waiting burial. "We put him and his casket in the study; it seemed the most natural place." Nick barked and then quickly apologized. "Heath and Whispering Pines are downstairs. I guess somebody didn't like the idea that Mr. Anderson might squeal on them as well; that or someone had a personal grudge against him." He still remembered the shock he and Heath had received when Sheriff Greene stopped them in town to tell them Mr. Anderson had been shot while in the jail cell the night before. It seemed as if someone had shot through the jail cell window and killed him, though the law didn't know who had done the shooting. The law had also told them that if it weren't for the fact that everyone knew Nick and Heath had stayed out at the McKinley farm, they might have been suspects. Nick had found himself furious at the fact that the family had been robbed of watching the man hang with a rope, he still was. He finally stopped that train of thought, tore his eyes off the infant in his arms and looked at Kathleen. "What did you name our daughter?"
Kathleen sighed. "I couldn't come up with one at first and then…" she bit her lower lip and closed her eyes for a moment. Finally, she opened them up and said, "She has no name yet. I couldn't bring myself to name her without you here."
Nick looked back at their daughter. He even held her a bit closer; that made Kathleen smile. He would have preferred to name the child Kathleen, or a name close to it, but his wife had crystal clear when they first married she'd have none of that. Since she felt that way, Nick couldn't help but think on Jarrod, along with the fact that the child already looked like his mother. "Victoria May." He whispered just loud enough to be heard. Jarrod had been born in May; it was one way he could think of to honor his departed brother. Though, he swore the day they had a son the boy would bear his name. It was a good fifteen minutes, before he let his wife take their daughter out of his arms and put her into the bassinet. It was another thirty minutes before they made it down to their family in the living room.
Audra was sitting near the fireplace staring into while Gene sat on the sofa doing the same, neither one was saying a word. Both Nick and Kathleen felt horrible for their sister and brother, as they knew full well Jarrod had been like a father to them.
Kathleen embraced Heath as hard as she could. "I'm so glad you're home." Her voice cracked as tears fell down her cheeks. She wondered if the tears would ever stop coming. Heath simply held onto her; he didn't know what else to do.
Every head turned as Victoria entered the room. Her face held a mixture of deep pain and great joy in it. Both Heath and Nick hurried over to her; Heath hugged her first and then stepped aside to make room for Nick. "I'm sorry, mother." Nick's voice broke as wrapped his arms around Victoria and let his tears fall unashamed. Somehow, Victoria heard the blame Nick was taking upon himself, even if he wasn't guilty of anything that needed forgiving.
"Don't blame yourself, son. It wasn't your fault; no one here blames you." Victoria looked at Heath who had a look in his eyes that said he was blaming himself just as much, if not more. After all, he had been the one to send for Jarrod in the first place. "No one blames either one of you. If there is blame to put anywhere, let's place it where it belongs…at the feet of Mr. Anderson. I mean, he is the one who started the trouble down there."
Victoria did her best to control her voice as she let go of Nick and walked up to Whispering Pines who was still very much upset and looked quite uncomfortable. "And you are my eldest's son's niece, Whispering Pines?" While it had been a shock to learn that Jarrod's Shoshone niece was coming to the ranch, Victoria wasn't about to turn the young woman away.
Whispering Pines, who had decided she to go by the English name Mr. Barnes' had suggested to her father before Anderson's men had attacked the main house, the one her Uncle Jarrod had said she should reconsider, answered, "My name Annie now. Good name no?" The tone in her voice and look in her eyes begged Victoria to tell her it was.
"It's a very fine name." Victoria smiled kindly as she gave her a hug and then looked at Kathleen and Nick, who then told her first grandchild finally had a name and what it was. Victoria didn't know whether to smile or cry. She was flattered to have a granddaughter named after her, only she didn't miss the connection between her lost son and the middle name either. That being the case, she was so overcome with emotion she couldn't speak.
"It is okay with you, mother, isn't it?" Kathleen's eyes filled with concern. The last thing she wanted to do was upset her mother-in-law.
Victoria found a bittersweet joy inside her heart. Life was full of up and downs. She took her granddaughter into her arms, looked upon the infant's innocent face and whispered, "It's more than okay; it's perfect."
End Flashback
Kathleen stopped speaking and looked at her daughter, who had had a look that said she was still wondering if she was in trouble for not really thinking about the story before she'd requested it. Both she and Heath gave her small grins as Kathleen patted her arm.
"That was a bittersweet time for all of us. I wish you could have known your Uncle Jarrod, in person I mean, not just from family stories. As it is, as I said before," Heath's voice grew firm, "Your father made it home that time and, I'm sure, he'll make it home this time. Wait and see… we'll get Nick back." Nick just had to make it back. Heath didn't care how many years had passed…he wasn't ready to lose another brother. Before any of them could say a word, they heard horses and a wagon outside.