AN: Alrighty. This one is a bit more...calm I guess? I'm not sure you could call it that but enjoy! And thank you to those that are liking this an supporting it!
I'm pretty sure I could have waited to do this until tomorrow and I'm not sure what compelled me to do it right now but as I walk into store I get this gut feeling I am going to regret it still I'm already here so why not just get what I came for and get it over with? The store is small, but the closest to our apartment and I shouldn't be gone for long in case Lara wakes up.
It's scary how easily I've become to wake up and I guess I have had to be for a similar reason Lara is. We're scared shitless and she may not admit it but I sure as hell will, because I wake up every night to the slightest squeak and grab the nearest object. Thankfully half the time it's just Lara being paranoid, other nights...it's Lara waking up from a nightmare and it's gotten worse. The other night she woke up and was delusional I don't know what it was but her dream was so bad when I found her she was in the kitchen whispering "Solari..." and she looked like she was sleep walking so I wasn't sure if I should wake her up or not until she reached for a knife I had to shake her a little till she opened her eyes and asked me what was happening. I led her to bed and stayed until she slept but kept my door open when I went to bed.
Tonight though...she broke the mirror. Why the hell would she do that? I mean I guess I can see why because even my image of me is distorted, but her fist didn't looks so great...I know I am going to have to convince her to see a doctor about it and she won't like it but I'm not a doctor and It'd probably just be a lot safer if she saw a professional instead of her best friend who googled a few things.
Before I know it I have of pain killers in my hand, a box of bandages, and I stop in front their small collection of candy because you know I haven't had something sweet in awhile. I should probably get Lara something too while I'm at it because she might like it and if not? It's only a few bucks I spent. No biggie. I pick a couple of chocolate bars and get a couple of cokes.
I stop though before heading to one of the four registers. I...I thought I saw someone out of the corner of my eye but push it to the side as if it's nothing because it can't be, anything...right? I don't know I have been really paranoid lately and I'm not sure why. That was a lie I do know why but the island is behind us like six fucking months behind us.
When I reach the register the woman is nice and asks the usual "hi how are you?" stuff and before long I am ready to go. She bids me farewell and I smile. When I'm in my car I take a second to think and put my bag and purse in the passenger seat before clutching the steering wheel and sigh deeply. 'Get your head together Sam. Got to be strong remember?' I tell myself. The truth is: I'm not sure how much stronger I can be especially if I keep getting forced into the corners I'm forced into. As it is I want to tell everyone to fuck off even though dad wouldn't enjoy that, but I really don't care.
I've taken care of as much 'in person' media events as I can so Lara doesn't have to and I've done all of the things that father has asked me to but it's just piling up on me. I KNOW I am going to be asked to do all those things again and I can see why Lara prefers home right now instead of being out there because people will recognize us immediately and try to get an interview or get a picture etc. But it's whatever to them I guess. I make my quick return home.
When I walk inside my bedroom light is on and I freeze waiting for someone to run out at me...but it's just Lara and I sigh in relief to myself. I might have had a mini heart attack.
"Hey sweetie," I tell her as I slip out of my shoes and jacket throwing my purse aside. She rubs an eye and still has bags under her eyes but grunts at me. I stop when I'm a few feet in front of her. "Couldn't sleep?" I ask softly.
"I did, but you weren't there," She sighed tiredly at me still looking pretty exhausted. "It didn't feel okay with you not in your room." She admitted. Kind of funny to hear that to be honest. She always hated being in my room when I wasn't there. I guess because it's my room its more natural for me to be in there? "Where'd you go?"
"I just went to the store to pick up a few things." I smiled lifting the plastic bag up in front of her.
"Sam," She told me firmly. "I don't think we have much more room for fifty plus shoes." I wrinkled my nose and hit her playfully. She actually joked! She hasn't joked in months! I couldn't help but laugh at her and she just stood there watching me with tired eyes.
"How's your hand?" I asked motioned to the bandaged hand.
"It hurts a little.." I nodded.
"I got something for that. It may not help much, but it's something." She nodded and turned around heading back to my room. She was slow, but I was patient especially with the glass I picked up before I left, I'm not sure I picked it all up. I was glad she was too tired to care otherwise she might not have joked and I really needed that joke to be honest. I needed the laugh.
When we were back in my room I sat her down on my bed again and tried to open the bottle of medicine. Unfortunately, I couldn't so Lara took it from me and did it handing the bottle back to me. I gave her a couple and handed her a coke which she downed with no problem I guess that bottle of alcohol she had wasn't enough. It wasn't much to begin with anyways and it's not the best.
"Alright sweetie go back to sleep-"
"I can't." She interrupted. When I asked why not she just shrugged and gave me a sad look. That look always killed me to be honest. I hated it then and I hate it now...Still I got what she meant. She didn't want to sleep because she didn't want a bad dream or one of the ones that knocks you awake sweating and panting as hard as ever regardless of the temperature. I pointed to the dream catcher behind her above my bed on the wall and smiled when she looked and rolled her eyes at me. "Very clever." She muttered probably thinking I couldn't hear her.
"Okay," I told her and stood up from my chair throwing her a candy bar. "Lay down." She gave me a look that said "no no no" but I simply told her "I didn't say I was making you go to sleep." She gave me a look. "Just lay down I am going to entertain you until you fall asleep." She sighed and laid down. I rolled in next to her and gave her an ear bud. "Cats or dogs?" I asked. I guess she didn't understand what I meant because she asked me what I was talking about. "Shit ton of Disney movies it is." I sighed.
Thank god for Netflix. She ended up falling asleep about half the way through our third movie that I wasn't paying attention to with one of her hands on my shoulder and her mouth pressed against that hand. She slept soundlessly and I was thankful she did because she'd been up for a few nights straight now. I could probably stand to sleep a little more, but she definitely needs it more right now. I have to say I don't understand why, but she's pretty damn gorgeous doing anything especially sleeping next to me with either a messy ponytail or her hair down she's just gorgeous.
I pulled the earbud out of her ear and put my phone under my pillow because I couldn't quite get up and put it on my nightstand. I pushed a few bangs out of her eyes to behind her ear and kissed her forehead. She stirred for a little bit but went back to sleep in practically no time. By the time, I fell asleep I was sure it was a couple hours later, but I didn't mind it. I was actually content at that moment. Call me anti-climatic because of earlier with the mirror and things but I didn't need much more than I had at that moment. I had my best friend, some clarity, time to think, and I fell asleep like that. I slept pretty good too except of her.
Of course, I dreamt of her! When everything is perfect why wouldn't I?! Himiko just loves to ruin your dreams and thoughts. I hadn't heard that annoying at all for the past week until my dream went from good to bad very bad.
I was locked in a room and at first I didn't know where I was or what the fuck was going on until I heard that annoying headache raising voice I had since we got back. I thought it was just my consciousness you know? No. When I saw the queen standing there and her lips moving I realized who it was. It wasn't just some voice I made up...it was hers. Why would I create her voice though? Is this some kind of after effect of what they did to me? Or did a piece of her soul attach to me?
When I could feel her hands around my neck and my body turn cold at her touch slowly as I gasped for air and her skin went from black and blue to colors I realized that she was slowly sucking me dry. THIS was my dear. I feared she was still taking me over and I was going to loose myself. Even worse than that? Lara did come to save me, but Himiko stuck her with lightning. I was afraid I was going to kill Lara by letting Himiko win...well I never was fearless to begin with.
Lara and I, we're fractured. Somehow though she's kept me together.