A little drunk? Maybe. How else was she going to drown out that feeling of patheticness or the thoughts swimming at the back of her mind constantly trying to claw their way to the front but ever so slowly? THAT topped with her father crawling down her throat about this project or not having the time to have dinner with him or her mother constantly made it worse. Why couldn't he just lay off the shit? It was almost like since she told him she was taking therapy sessions as well to maybe help (not that she thought she could be helped) he almost begged for normality through actions. It had driven Sam insane and she had tried to call him out on it asking him to be a little patient like her mother had been but he could only shake his head and say he wasn't doing that, that she was just thinking it about and she had almost believed that. So maybe being a little a drunk after having a yelling contest with your father over the phone wasn't a bad thing.
Lara understood as she watched Sam scroll through her messages on her phone with a bottle of whiskey nearby on the coffee table. She was still worried. Very worried. How could she not? Sam was a mess right now and part of her wanted to talk to her but the other part of her said not to that she needed some alone time, that it'd be rude to budge into family affairs. She's always hated doing that.
Lara set her bag and coat down before stepping forward, taking a breath she cleared her throat. What worried her the most was how long Sam had been alone for. Ever since that nightmare last month she's had more and hated to be alone just as Lara hated leaving her alone. They both were busy at times but by the end of the day they'd find themselves together in the living room or sleeping in a room together (Lara all but lived in Sam's room by now) just as it felt right. Tonight however Lara had been held up by several people and a traffic Jam and hadn't arrived home till 10:00 P.M. Lara sighed when Sam didn't answer and she found herself clearing her throat louder. Sam turned around and smiled.
"Hey sweetie," She said tiredly, eyes red, "Glad you're home I was gettin' worried about yoou!" She might have tried to stand up and walk, but Lara was glad she hadn't. She looked a bit tipsy.
"I'm sorry. I tried to come home as soon as possible," Lara leaned against the back of the couch by her forearms near sam, "as soon as I got your text." Sam's face instantly fell and she just shrugged. Sam leaned her head back, turning it to look at Lara.
"Don't worry I- overreacted," Lara pushed random strands of hair out of her eyes, Sam leaned into her touch slightly, "was nothing."
"Sam," Lara began, "texting me in the middle of the market, telling me your dad just called you to yell at you for being 'really not right' while trying to open a bottle of alcohol - which you rarely do because of family arguments - is not nothing." Sam turned her head back to the ceiling. Lara had expected that that was not the full story but rather a rushed version, considering it concerning nonetheless. "Sam," Sam looked at her again. "It is not nothing. He upset you, yeah?" Sam took a minute before nodding. "Then you have a right to feel the way you do, he can't take that away though I wish you'd found comfort in something else than the whiskey."
Sam rolled her eyes. "It's just a bit of alcohol darling." With that, Sam leaned forward taking the bottle from the table.
Sam knew if she wasn't careful it could be a destructive addiction to pick up, she had seen that first hand with her uncle so she's always been careful. It was just- her father wanted her to be the same as before and she wasn't. She COULDN'T be, but he wasn't understanding that so it was causing more problems she could handle today. She wanted to be that same Sam, that Sam that could the good in everything and grab her camera ready to shoot it all! But the truth was she just didn't want to handle the world or most people in it and her camera- she hadn't touched in a few weeks. The only person who understood was Lara and even then she'd still give her a longing look but of what origin? She didn't know. She just assumed it was to be the same old Sam like everyone else. The alcohol was just to dull everything. Maybe it worked. She couldn't tell.
"That it may be," Lara grabbed the bottle from Sam placing her in between her arms and took it from her idle hands, "but It'd have been better to find something else."
Sam gave a frustrated sigh. Not only was Lara too close but Sam found something about that accusing and irritating.
"Well, IF I had thought about it maybe I would have, or if you were home." Sam crossed her arms but hadn't noticed Lara wince at that.
"I'm sorry Sam. I really am." Lara looked down. Maybe she should have left early like planned then she wouldn't have been home late and Sam-
"Oh sweetie, I'm sorry I just- I'm just tired of everything I didn't mean to take it out on you.." She had felt bad too. She was angry and very frustrated, but Lara felt like her only support like she'd always been. She hated this. Snapping.
"No, it's alright I understand. I do." She smiled slightly.
Sam held in a breath. She wanted to do something very risky. How could Lara be this beautiful and just right in every good way? As long as she'd known Lara, Lara had never held anything against her (except once when she ate the last Jaffa cake) or stayed mad for too long. She'd always just taken in every bit of the situation and would at least try to understand Sam and the way she felt into consideration before acting. Sometimes she was just this person who Sam couldn't believe was the way she was in a good way.
Lara caught Sam staring at her and was worried for a moment. She thought maybe Sam hadn't believed her and was upset about it quite a bit. The truth was Sam was trying to convince herself not to lay a hand on her cheek, to not turn Lara's head to her, and to not kiss her as deeply as she's wanted to for awhile. It had always been hard not to but right now that was ALL Sam wanted to do. Sam felt she couldn't trust herself though and convinced herself it was just the whiskey even though she knew the truth was she'd always wanted to. It was just so damn hard.
"Come on," Lara finally spoke giving Sam a quick kiss on the forehead and standing up, "let's get you to bed." Sam sighed in disappointment but was thankful Lara had done what she had.
"I don't want t-" Lara shook her head and picked her up. "Lara!" Sam held onto her for dear life. "What are you doing?"
"I've caried you more than once." She admitted.
"But aren't you exhausted? Or you know going to let me walk?" Lara stopped and looked at her.
"Our bedroom is literally five feet away at this point and you're tipsy. Tipsy means clumsiness." Sam gave up. Lara was right and she wasn't going to take no for an answer.
Our bedroom? Sam thought. The butterflies in her stomach stirred for a moment. She hadn't minded being picked up by Lara it was just being picked up so suddenly that bothered her. She could distinctly remember the last time she was tipsy Lara had to pick up pieces of a broken cup as Sam stumbled her way to her bed singing various songs from Moulin Rogue and maybe trying to kiss Lara who in return blushed and convinced her to just go to sleep. Or perhaps she was actually drunk then. Fuzzy memory that one. She smiled slightly at the thought.
When she had found herself in her bed and out of Lara's arms she felt beyond tired but still sat up on her elbows to watch Lara shed off her boots and scarf. She could remember Lara carrying her down that mountain forever it seemed like on Yamatai. She wasn't sure if it was actually over or if she was still alive for the first few moments but she didn't care. Lara was focused on her and asking her if she was okay and all Sam could think was "she saved me, I never gave up hope on her" she'd even said it a few times.
"What?" Lara asked noticing Sam was watching her. Sam rolled over on her side towards Lara.
"You're beautiful." She admitted. She didn't care. Lara was taken back but thanked her as she entered the bed and threw the blankets around Sam and herself. "How do you do that? Declothe yourself in almost pitch darkness. I can barely walk in sunlight." Lara chuckled at that and Sam smiled.
"Practice I suppose. Camping never hurt it either." Sam snorted and Lara smiled.
Sam found hersefl tucked into Lara asking her various questions about movies obviously stalling and Lara could only throw an arm over her, answer them, and tell her to go to sleep.
"I don't want to." She yawned.
"I'm right here." With in a few seconds Sam found comfort in it and started to pass out. Lara pulled her close and sighed
closing her eyes resting her mouth on Sam's head. "I'm always here love. Never leaving."