A/N: Okay this is extremely late but life has been crazy and I had other stories to focus on but despite them I have been having writer's block and lack of motivation. But even though all of that I was pushing to do it, it was still going to be late but I sat down to write this the other day I was having a health issue and was in pain so I took multiple breaks but I was determined to squeeze this out over 3k words only for my laptop to die and cut off right towards the end and of course it didn't auto save for once so I gave up on this piece it just didn't want to be written. But despite everything I don't believe in skipping assignments so I pulled it together and I'm getting this out even though I'm mad because the first one was better. I will try to get this week's assignment out in the next day or too.
A/N#2: okay this piece some of it is true others aren't, semi real experience so it's up to you tell me if you believe it :)). This pairing I chose was off the wall I think you will really like her character for once she's relatable. You know I do risky paring so I hope this uniqueness will make up for the lateness enjoy :))
Insecure Rainy Days
JPOV
I sat outside on my porch watching the dreary rain descend down, mirroring every emotion I felt at that point, sorrow, heartache, and despair. Everything in my life right now is going down the drain just like the rain when it hits the curb.
I rose from the hooded porch swing and made my way back into my tiny apartment. To others it may not look like much, and hell it really wasn't but it was mine and it was all I had. I reached into my tiny freezer pulling out some Ben and Jerry's ice cream curling up on the couch to watch the rain through the sliding glass doors of my patio.
Watching rain had become therapeutic in a way to me, having no TV or internet might do that to you. A former friend I knew said when I got like this I looked on the verge of a mental breakdown, but I always shrugged it off. Honestly now my friend has moved away, I have no siblings or parents I'm really starting to examine myself and think I may not be as mentally stable as others.
Shaking off the horrible events of my childhood I drowned the memories in Ice cream and tried to look at something positive. Well I lost 5 pounds last week…that's good right? Well despite the fact you have about 150 more pounds to go and that ice cream isn't helping I'd say no.
Disgusted that my inner monolog was right I chucked the ice cream in the trash, through on my sneakers and decided to go for a walk instead.
Nothing but a black tee shirt and black sweatpants I fled my house out into the harsh could rain.
The water crashed down on my body harshly and unrelenting, but oddly enough I didn't flinch once. The cold moist weather was refreshing, almost cleansing, the cleaning of my tortured soul so maybe I could actually move on and start a new life.
I stopped in the middle of a deserted park and just looked up to the sky and let the water cover my face seeping into my soft blue eyes blinding my vision, not caring who sees I began to twirl in a circle my sandy brown hair spewed in many different directions as a smile spread across my face for the first time since the death of my sister I felt like things would be okay.
Caught up in my aqua therapy, I forgot I actually have real therapy to attend, rushing in the house I dried off through on new clothes throwing my hair in a messy bun and I was back out the door.
I made it to Dr. McCarthy's office a little earlier then I expected so I sat in the waiting room staring blankly at the wall paper. I wasn't one for flipping through mindless magazines. That's when he walked in…
He strode in with confidence as he assumed the seat right across from me I couldn't help but stare, no really I couldn't he blocked the wall paper I was staring at before so he has just become option B, and I may say myself he was more appealing then dark pink water lilies.
His light brown hair and his chiseled features were strikingly beautiful where his dark brown eyes looked like a pool of melted chocolate that I just wanted to swim in.
He looked about 6 foot tall had a muscular build but yet he was still lean and perfect in my eyes. Finally averting my gaze from his beautiful crafted body I looked at him and he was sizing me up as well. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat I hate when people stare at me I know I'm over weight you don't have to stare.
"Jessica Stanly" the receptionist called, I stood immediately and shuffled to the back just as the door was closing behind me I heard,
"Demetri Voultori!" and he rose to his feet.
After my session I decided I was in no rush to go home so I decided to go to the quaint little coffee shop around the corner from the practice and grab a cappuccino or something.
After I arrived I grabbed my coffee and quickly made it to a small booth in the back near the windows where I could sit and be undisturbed.
I turned to face the window and gazed at passerby's and laughed at how silly some people act in the rain. Everyone's movements are hurried and frantic, they work there selves up over a little rain it's not going to hurt you. I started to chuckle to myself thinking about how the general population fears water as much as cats do.
"New subscriber?" I heard a deep baritone voice say, the voice alone sent shivers up my spin, I looked up and it was who I presume to be Demetri Voultori.
"Um…" I struggled to answer.
"I've been watching this show for many years "The Human species Interact with Rain" it's quite a hilarious one" he spoke.
"Indeed it is" I nodded.
"I haven't quite seen this episode yet mind if I join you" he smiled, as if I was going to refuse him.
"Sure" I said motioning for him to sit across from me.
"Demetri" he said extending his hand.
"Jessica" I replied.
"Beautiful name for a beautiful girl" he smiled, I scoffed.
"You doubt?" he asked clearly shocked.
"Nothing about Jessica is special its considered a common name" I argued, not even touching on the I'm beautiful part.
"Jessica was a Hebrew name and it means God Beholds, I think that is a perfect fit for you" he told me.
Feeling dumb now I just sipped my coffee and looked out the window before I said anything else to embarrass myself.
"Well Jessica I must go" he said breaking the awkward silence between us, great Jess you just scared off the most social interaction you have had in years.
"Okay" I said softly.
"I would love to see you again though if that's okay, can I have your number?" he asked.
I was shocked still for a moment, it has been a while since anyone was interested enough to ask for my number and never has a guy looking like he does ever asked.
"Umm…sure…" I said quickly giving him the number as he pulled his phone out to enter it.
We said our goodbyes and we both exited the coffee shop going our separate ways.
After our run in at the coffee shop weeks ago Demetri and I have grown close, I can honestly say he is the best friend I have ever had. He understands me without trying, he never pries which makes me want to let him in even more about me.
He brings out my fun goofy side yet he is caring and nurturing. I don't remember the last time since we've met I've stared out a window and welcomed the sorrow of the rain because when it rains I go over to his house and we make a pizza and movie night out of it.
Now I find myself praying for sunny days instead of rain, twirling around in the grass letting the sunshine soak into my skin. Demetri has evoked some changes in me that I never thought possible; I believe I owe him my sanity.
"Fuck!" he spat throwing his controller to the ground as the big read game over symbol popped up on the screen.
Boys and their video games, video games was the only childlike activity the he engaged in so I let him have it, plus it's fun to see the expressions he makes when he's playing, when he's watching the game I'm watching him.
I laughed at his silly pout and furious brow he was truly upset over that loss.
"Oh you think this is funny" he asked me but I couldn't stop laughing to give him an answer.
"Oh you do don't you" he smiled wickedly at me now.
"I'll give you something to laugh for" he grinned and before I could comprehend he was tickling my sides. I shrieked in surprise and a fit of giggles erupted from me between pleas for him to stop.
Finally he stopped as he was on top of me pinning my arms above my head.
"I take my games very seriously Miss Stanley" he said just above a whisper with a smirk on his face.
"Maybe not serious enough because it seems you can't win Mr. Voultori " I teased he smiled.
"Touché'" he replied.
Silence fell over us as he still hovered over top of me, I stared at him nervously because I didn't know what to do yet I didn't want him to move.
He leaned in closer to me so close our noses where touching.
"Demetri" I whispered.
"I won't hurt you Jess" he said as if he was reading my mind.
After everything I have been through the hurt, the loss, the abandonment, I just could never bare the thought of him walking out of my life in anyway.
He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on my lips, he rose his head back up and looked in my eyes to I guess see how I felt.
Wanting just a little more of him this time I made the move, I lifted my head to meet his lips this kiss was different.
It was slow but hard and passionate, I put everything I was feeling into that kiss and from his response I guess he was feeling it too.
He started to glide his hands up and down my body caressing me softly. When he reached the side of my breast I tensed up with nervousness. He pulled away from our kisses with questioning eyes,
"I'm sorry it's just…" I started to say.
"Your not a…"
"God no! …I mean it was only once per say…but not my best experience… I'm just…" I stammered he chuckled.
"I'm just not ready…" I sighed hoping he wouldn't be mad.
"It's okay Jess, I want to take things slow with you, I know your life hasn't been the best but I am working my hardest to change that for you, and every time you smile it reassures me I'm doing my job." He smiled.
"How do I deserve someone like you?" I whispered.
"Jess you deserve the best don't you know that?" he questioned seriously, I turned my head and tried to calm down the tears that were threatening to escape my eyes, I don't know why I just became so emotional.
"Jess look at me" he said grabbing my chin softly and turning my face back to meet his gaze.
"You deserve the world and more, you are an amazing person I just wish you could see what I see" he sighed.
"I think everyone sees what you see and overweight failure in life" I said suddenly very vulnerable, I shrugged out of his embrace and made my way off the floor but he grabbed my arm.
"Jess stop it, stop pushing me away, stop being down on yourself, just stop it" he sighed.
"Well it's the truth" I spat.
"No it's not, Jess you are a wonderful, funny, smart person and you are one of the best and most kind hearted people I know. You are far from a failure in life you just haven't chosen a path and that's okay you're not even of legal drinking age yet. And lastly, fuck that overweight bullshit you keep harping about you are beautiful and I love your curves, it takes a real man to appreciate all that you are, plus not only are you beautiful physically but also mentally. "He assured me.
My heart melted at the words he spoke, he tugged my arm pulling me into his strong chest for a hug. I clutched his body to mine trying to push everything he said into my mind and rid myself all this self-doubt.
"Okay, I'm sorry for being down on myself" I sighed.
"It's okay don't apologize just work on not doing it okay" he replied, I nodded.
"Well, as far…as umm… the sex part…I'm…just not ready" I stated nervously.
He grabbed my wrist and outstretched them bringing them up to his mouth and placed soft open mouth kisses on them.
"It's okay my sweet, I will wait for when you're ready, you set the pace. But I promise you when you let me make love to you, I will worship your mind body and soul. I will caress every inch of you luscious body until you are thoroughly satisfied you just say the word." He said kissing me softly on the lips.
I was slightly flushed by the words, but not enough to actually follow through and have sex so I decided it would be best I see him later.
True to his promises though we haven't taken the next step physically we have in every other way. We stay up late talking about any and everything. Anything that interest me anything I like and I don't like, we actually have strong debates on topics for hours and have to call it a night agreeing to disagree.
Even though he thinks I'm perfect the way I am he reluctantly went up with me to sign up for a gym membership and with him by my side I've lost 30 pounds over the last two months and I feel good.
He has asked me to be his girlfriend and because I'm no idiot of course I agreed, he even let me meet his sister Jane she's very sweet. The only thing we haven't done and has been on my mind heavily is sex, shockingly since our conversation months ago he hasn't brought it back up, the most I get is tiny pecks sometimes tongue but he always pulls away when it starts to deepen.
If he didn't reassure me I'm beautiful on a daily basis I would believe he wasn't sexually attracted to me.
Frustrated I just decided that I'm officially ready and next time we're alone it's going to be it.
As if I had been a saint in a past life Demetri walked through the doors of my apartment.
"Surprise" he smiled.
"Oh a pleasant and my most favorite surprise… you." I smiled kissing him quick on the lips.
"I'm glad" he smiled.
"So I thought I'd surprise you with some Chinese and I brought my DVD player and a few movies I thought we could just chill out here." He suggested.
"Sounds good whatcha got" I inquired pointing to the DVD's.
"Ummm… horrible Bosses, Killers, Never Been Kissed, Taken, I wasn't sure what you liked so I brought a little bit of everything" he smiled.
"After all our movies nights we've had you know what I always say" I rolled my eyes at him.
"I know…"whatever I want to see is fine" he said in a mocking tone of my voice I pinched his arm slightly.
"Horrible bosses it is" he said getting down on the floor to hook up the DVD player to my old television and setting everything on the wooden coffee table in my living room.
The movie had just started and we were huddled up on the couch, while he was engrossed in the plot I was more into him.
I watched the way his lips lightly parted and he paused a moment before he laughs, the way his eyes squint when the character do something unbelievable, the way he swallows thickly when something crazy happens he was turning into my favorite movie.
"Sex on Legs Vo1."
Not being able to contain myself any longer I silently placed soft kisses on his exposed neck; he hummed with delight which I took as a sign to continue down my path.
Almost breaking the moment I had to bite back the laugher of realizing me Jessica Stanley was about to attempt to seduce a guy, go figure.
Continuing with my plan I drew lazy circles on his neck with my tongue nibbling softly on the tender flesh below his jaw just then he pulled my face up to meet his.
I saw question in his eyes but they were slightly blocked by lust, taking advantage I dove right in attacking his lips with mine.
He groaned in pleasure as I forcefully leaned him to the other end of the couch so I could straddle his lap.
Our kisses were frantic and needy, I grinded my center into his midsection pleasantly surprised by the bulge there.
"Mmm…Demetri" I moaned coming up for air.
"Jessi are you sure" he asked massaging the side of my breast with his hands.
"Yes" I moaned as his hands grazed my nipples.
"Okay but not like this" he said taping my thighs signaling for me to lift up.
With a whimper I relented and moved standing to my feet, but my disappointment didn't last long when he grabbed me crashing his body to mine and attacked my bottom lips with his egger mouth.
It was a hazy walk to the bedroom, filled with lips and tongue, scratching, nibbling and biting. Loud groans and muffed moans in a mix of panting.
Before I knew it his shirt was off and I was on my back on my all too familiar bed.
My hands roamed his muscular frame admiring gods handiwork.
When he slowly began to tug at the hem of my shirt I froze,
"Jess" he kissed my knuckles softly.
"Don't be afraid you are beautiful" he kissed me softly.
Nodding my head telling him I was ready, he slid my shirt from my body and I lay before him topless.
"Gorgeous" he muttered, his eyes never leaving me.
Still nervous I fought the urge to grab the sheets and hide my body; I guess he sensed my slight uneasiness still.
"Jess, get it out of your head because I'm about to make love to you to show you how much I admire everything about you" he said kissing his way down to my collarbone.
I let out a muffled whimper, his mouth felt so good against my skin I don't think I will ever get enough.
He kissed his way down my body swirling his tongue at the top of each breast before dipping low to circle my sensitive belly button. I gasped in pleasure that his tantalizing tongue was giving me.
He pulled my breast out the ice blue lace bra that is currently now on the floor and began to kneed them softly in his hands. I moaned in satisfaction arching my back pushing myself more into his hands.
Sensing I wanted more he dipped his head and took my nipple into his mouth while pinching the other one between his fingers I almost shot up off the bed it felt so good, and so right.
"Please" I begged, silently hoping he got the message, I wanted more I needed more.
He slide further down my body unzipping my jeans grabbing the belt loops to pull them down. I took a deep breath trying to relax, it was thrilling and exciting I was sure this is what I wanted so I'm trying to calm myself down so he doesn't stop.
"Jess…" he heard the conviction in his tone.
"Don't stop please I'm just excited "I tried to convince him.
With hesitation reluctantly he slid my jeans down my curvy legs and threw them somewhere I was to preoccupied with nervousness and lust to pay attention.
He massaged my calf gently gliding his hands up and down my lower half. When he got to my feet he stopped and put them to his lips. He kisses the sole of my foot gently, then my arch, and then each one of my toes taking the last one into his hot awaiting mouth.
"Oh god!" I cried out leaning my head back into the pillow. I've always heard of how good that feels but I never imaged this.
Much to my sorrow he didn't stay at my feet long before he made his way up my silky thighs. I whimpered as soon as he left my foot to kiss up my calf I could feel his smile against my skin at my disappointment. That didn't last long as he began to nibble at my inner thigh I moaned loudly clutching his curly brown locks.
When he ghosted over my core and I felt his warm breath tickle my opening I wanted to scream.
He nipped at my clit through them flimsy fabric of my boy shorts almost causing me to cum right there.
"Dem…I…" I couldn't' even form the words.
"May I?" he asked tugging at the sides of my panties. I lifted my hips so he could slide them down.
He ran his hands over the outside of my thighs and parted them again and now he was looking at the most intimate part of me.
"I see you're ready for me finally" he teased.
Before I had I chance for a rebuttal he used two of his fingers to part my lips. The feeling of his hands there made more juices seep from my core leaving me glinting before him.
He flicked his tongue over my swollen clit and a low groan escaped from me. My hands flew in my own hair afraid to grab his because I might tug to hard.
He inserted a finger inside my center while his tongue focused on my clit sending an obscene amount of curses flying out of my mouth.
"Demetri! Oh god!" was the only coherent thing I was able to say.
He inserted another finger and began to pick up the pace flicking his tongue over my clit intensely.
By now I was squirming trying to run away from the undying pleasure I was receiving at the hands of his mouth.
"Demetri Fuck!" I cried.
He removed his fingers from inside of me and locked them round my thighs holding me in place and forced all his attention on my sensitive clit.
He lapped up my juices and twirled his tongue around my clit, I felt my orgasm building up, my legs began to shake and I felt my stomach tighten, at the last moment he stuck two fingers back inside me and nipped my clit sending me sprawling over the edge into pure bliss.
I was shaking and panting my mind was a cloudy haze at this point, I couldn't and didn't want to move so I laid there with my eyes closed trying to catch my breath.
Demetri crawled back up my body placing kisses on his way up when he reached my ear he whispered.
"Delicious"
A lazy smile crossed my face, I wanted to do more but I just needed a minuet.
"It's okay my angle rest up for a second because the next time you cum I want it to be because I'm buried deep inside of you" he whispered.
I just began to feel my legs again and the familiar ache between my thighs, the reaction to his words I knew in no time I would be ready for round two and I had a feeling it was going to be even better.
A/N: Excuse mistakes like I said up there this was a hard one I tried to catch everything but I know I missed some, thanks for you all's patience's hope you enjoyed it.