Based on characters from Fablehaven© by Brandon Mull. The original characters and plot details are my property. No copyright infringement intended.
After dinner, the four made their way to Seth's attic room. They all were sitting at the table. Even Seth, who usually flopped on his bed, pulled out a chair and sat as if they were having a meeting or getting ready to discuss a mission. They all sat silently staring at the tabletop.
Leander was thinking about everything that had happened and all they had learned.
Each of them had similar thoughts.
They hadn't found the conspirators but they were hoping they would soon know the identity of the narcoblix so they could start their search there. The rest of the family now knew that Maeve was Axezeles and that Celebrant was coming to see her at the end of the week.
Bracken and Kendra were thinking that there was probably a rare Frost dragon growing up safely in the caverns below Blackwell Keep. Celebrant's dire prediction of the state of sanctuary security and stability and his opinion of wizard intelligence was laying heavy on Bracken's mind.
Mostly they were sad. The most significant news was that Raxtus was dead, supposed to be anyway. The fact that he was sitting with them in his new avatar form did little to mitigate the feeling that he very well could have died.
Kendra had gotten over being mad at Leander for letting his mother think he was dead when Maeve suddenly dried her tears and remarked that it was probably for the best that he was out of his misery. Leander had whispered 'I told you so' a few minutes later on their way to the dinner table.
"Can you make me a fairy friend?" Leander suddenly asked Bracken and Kendra.
"What?" Kendra blurted out, startled out of her own thoughts by his sudden unexpected question.
"Huh?" Seth laughed.
"You wanted to be a real dragon with dragon magic and powers. Isn't being a fairy friend the opposite of what you wanted?" Bracken asked surprised at the request.
"It was at first but now I'm a normal human. I don't' want the magic back, I just want to be a fairy friend. I don't want to go back to being the runt dragon – the jester son of the king of dragons.
"I want to remain like this, normal. I don't want anyone finding out that I was a dragon. If I'm a fairy friend no one will ever think I am a dragon, not even the fairy dragon. The spell would have killed me if you hadn't removed the fairy magic first.
"Raxtus is dead, let's leave it that way," he explained.
"Leander, are you sure?" Kendra asked. Her heart was breaking thinking how close they had come to killing him.
"Yes, I am enjoying being normal and I don't want to worry about it anymore. I know I'll have other things to worry about but at least I can put that part behind me. I've made up my mind. I'm giving up my dragon form permanently," he said with a confirming nod.
"But…I'll miss you as a dragon. I like to fly with you," Kendra whined.
"We can all mourn him together. I think I was really born to be human after all. I am too comfortable like this," he said to reassure her.
"What about your dragon magic?" Bracken asked him.
"What dragon magic? I haven't felt any magic at all. I'm unsure how I become invisible," he answered frankly and a little exasperated. "Maybe invoking my dragon form is just part of what I am and not magic. Even if I was supposed to be a Frost dragon I have no magic so I don't have to worry about that and if I give up my dragon form I'll have even less worry." he said with a shrug.
"Even if invoking your avatar is just part of what you are. You know that you aren't completely human. You will still have dragon traits even if you give up your dragon form. Specifically you won't age like humans do. After a while people will notice so you can't stay in one place too long, unless it's a sanctuary such as Fablehaven but the Caretakers also think you are human," Bracken told him in case he didn't realize the extent of the commitment. His statement should be true but he wondered if it were true.
He was still concerned about how human Leander was. He should neither need milk to see magical creatures nor should he need a potion to protect him from dragonfear but he did. He should have had enough strength to kill or incapacitate the swamp troll and been able to run for hours without tiring but he seemed to have only human strength and stamina. And nothing, neither fairy magic nor dragon magic explained his ability to become invisible. What other disparities were there? He and Kendra would have to keep an eye on him for a while to see how he was handling the consequences of the spell. His lack of dragon magic was very disturbing.
"I know. I'm willing to cope. I can stay close to the sanctuary system and maybe Seth and I can come with a reason for my not aging," Leander said accepting the inherent complications.
"Well, sleep on it anyway. You may think of some reason not to do it," Bracken told him. This was one of those permanent things he didn't want Leander to do so they needed to figure out a way to stall him.
"Yah, a reason like eating whoever planned this whole mess!" Seth said harshly, he wanted revenge on whoever had used him to try to kill Raxtus. Killing anyone, even an assassin, wasn't a good thing but a dragon eating some evil creature was different – wasn't it?
"If I do that I am asking for more trouble. Raxtus didn't want to eat Navarog. I'm glad he did now but I have to look for other ways to deal with my problems," Leander said sadly, looking at Seth.
Kendra remembered how she really had to provoke Raxtus into killing the evil demon dragon. Only when Navarog, in his human form, assured Kendra he would destroy and kill Celebrant and take over Wyrmroost was Raxtus angry enough to kill him. Still, she was shocked when he bit him in half and ate him. She knew dragons were carnivores and ate animals and occasionally people but seeing it happen in front of her by such a gentle dragon had been shocking. She didn't want him to do that again, especially when it seemed to be contrary to his wishes also.
"What do you have to do to give up reverting into a dragon?" Seth asked interested in the procedure if there was one.
"That's a dragon secret. I will have to do that in private. The only specially warded place I know large enough is the little barn where we did the spell. I'll go there and when I come out I'll be ready to be a fairy friend," he said smiling, happy with his decision.
"Bracken, you should stay the night. It is already late and you need to be here early for this. Let's talk to Grandma and get a room for you," Kendra said and dragged him up from his chair and pulled him down the stairs. She wanted to talk to him see if there was anything else they could do to get Leander to change his mind.
The next morning, Leander woke up late and a little moody. He couldn't remember his dream but he seemed to remember someone strange and dark chasing him trying to crack open his head. His dreams were still affecting him physically and now it seemed they were influencing him mentally too. This was another difference between dragon and human dreams but so far it wasn't an intolerable change.
He dressed and tried to overcome his bleak mood by putting on a happy face. He was still happy with his decision on remaining human and becoming a fairy friend.
In the kitchen he greeted Marla and Ruth happily. Drank his milk and sat down to enjoy pancakes with his friends. Marla and Ruth sat down at the other end of the table chatting with each other.
Seth, Bracken and Kendra, on the other hand, had other ideas about his happy mood. They kept making cryptic remarks during breakfast that had double meaning trying to get him to change his mind.
He became upset with them for trying to talk him out of his decision. He put away his pretense of being happy and because he felt grumpy already he began to answer rudely.
"No, I think I'm done here. I just have one more thing I want to do today then I will be on my way," he said stubbornly. He tried to act his part of a disappointed tracker in front of Ruth and Marla but they were making it difficult.
"But there is still a chance," Kendra said ambiguously.
"You heard what they said, he is dead. I don't want to search for a dead dragon," he said shaking his head, desperately wanting to end the conversation. "I'm a tracker, what you need is a cadaver dog, not me."
Marla looked down the table at Leander an unhappy look on her face. Ruth looked at Marla first then also stared down the table toward him. Shaken by last night's awful news of Raxtus' fate Ruth and Marla were still troubled.
Seth noticed the look on his mother's face and knew what it meant.
"Boy, you are cruel," Seth whispered, upset that Leander's words had upset his mother.
"Sorry, too much?" Leander whispered back, hearing the resentment in Seth's voice, suddenly repentant of his harsh words.
"Isn't that a bit callous," Bracken replied calmly, knowing they had pushed him too hard and they all needed to back off.
"Sorry, I don't mean to make light of your loss. I'm just… I don't know… I guess I'll be quiet now," he said regretfully to everyone at the table and shoved a forkful of pancake into his mouth.
He was still so inexperienced with his human emotions they overwhelmed him sometimes and he felt foolish when he reacted poorly. He just wanted them to stop trying to talk him out of renouncing Raxtus.
Just when he said it to himself he came to a sudden realization. They didn't want him to renounce Raxtus because then he really would be dead.
"You came to us with a fine reputation, at being very good at your job. I can see where this failure due to nothing on your part would cause you to be upset," Marla said kindly. "Raxtus was our friend and will be missed. It's neither his fault he died nor yours that you couldn't find him. But speaking harshly of him does you no credit," she said concluding in a reproachful tone.
"You are just disappointed that your search was fruitless. Disappointment can make for frustration and frustration leads to harsh words. We understand. You are young and you probably haven't had too many failures," Ruth said appreciatively, accepting his apology.
"I'm sorry for my rudeness. I know how much you liked him. I wouldn't have taken the job except for Bracken's insistence. I really don't like dragons," Leander said trying to find the right words to make amends. "I guess I let my prejudice get the better of my mouth."
"Why do you dislike dragons so much?" Marla asked. Previously unaware that Leander had any prejudices she was suddenly curious.
Kendra, Seth and Bracken all looked up from their breakfast curious how he would answer the question.
"Hmm," Leander had to think for a moment – why?
Why did he dislike dragons?
He started to think of a story to tell but then he realized that he really did dislike dragons. No, he hated dragons. He needed to tell all of them the truth. Obviously his friends didn't know how he really felt.
He took a deep breath and decided to let it all out.
"Truth is – I use to be fascinated with dragons. I desperately wanted to be a big… scary… dragon, ha! Now just thinking about them," he shivered, "they terrify me… on top of their already terrifying dragonfear." He had never experienced dragonfear before he had seen his mother.
"A few years ago one caught me and tortured me for the delight of it, got bored and left me to die but somehow I escaped. Others have tried to kill me and chased me into hiding on many occasions. One threatened to kill my father, destroy my home and everyone I care for. I'm not sure how I survived but I have no doubt it was mostly luck," he said emotionally, the hazy memories of Raxtus' life filling him with sorrow. His eyes unfocused, reliving the horrible events, his face echoed the remembered torture and pain.
Kendra recognized his reference to their mutual experience with Navarog. He was the one who had threatened to enslave Kendra, kill Celebrant and take over Wyrmroost, even though Leander was framing it in a different context. She was shocked as she suddenly realized that he wasn't telling a story as Leander, the tracker, he was speaking truthfully about Raxtus' experiences. Watching his face she realized that he had no lifelong training to hide his emotions, his face reacted distinctly to each thought. The pain and torture he suffered must have been horrible.
"They have no respect for any other creature but their own kind and yet they are even cruel to each other. If I never saw another dragon again it would suit me just fine," he said vehemently. He got close to saying too much but stopped, his lip trembled and tears filled his eyes.
"Sorry," he apologized, sniffed and wiped the tears from his eyes. He pushed his plate out of the way and lowered his head to the table, hiding his face in his crossed arms, embarrassed by his intense emotional reaction.
Everyone sat silently staring at Leander in stunned surprise.
"We didn't know," Ruth said sadly after a moment.
Bracken nodded his head unhappily, understanding for the first time how Leander felt about his treatment by his fellow dragons all these years.