Chapter 3
She woke with a start and tried to sit up but couldn't. She tried to move her arms and found that they were tied down. Her legs were tied down as well and her head was held in place so she couldn't see anything but straight above as she laid on her back. A light turned on and she cried out in pain at the sudden brightness; she couldn't shield her eyes.
A figure leaned over her face but she couldn't see him as the back light was so bright. Her eyes adjusted and she could finally make out his features. He had long, dirty grey hair and a long ratty beard. His eyes were big and had a crazed look.
She heard what sounded like knives being sharpened on each other. The man left the gurney where she was tied down and she heard the noise of tools clinking together. A sense of dread filled her. She tried to shout-out but her voice sounded a million miles away.
The man was back at her side with a very thick, very long needle. He smiled maniacally at her as he readied it. She tried to twist away but she was stuck. She heard someone, someone who sounded rooms away, saying her name. She tried to yell out to them. She felt a hand on her shoulder and tensed - but the hand was too gentle, too reassuring.
She closed her eyes tight and focused on the touch. She took a deep breath and when she managed to open her eyes again, it was dark and she was sitting up, her arms and legs were free. She felt arms around her, soothing her, and she realized she was crying. The arms laid her down but stayed around her, a reassuring presence. She relaxed into them.
Stacie's eyes shot open suddenly and she saw morning rays of sunlight shining into the living room. She looked at her phone and it was about 10 minutes before her alarm was set to go off. She sat up from the couch and groaned, stretching her neck back and forth. Something felt wrong but she couldn't place it.
She got up and washed her face, determined to leave the apartment before anyone else woke. As she was heading down the hallway to return to the living room, she paused at Aubrey's door. The realization of what felt wrong hit her suddenly. She didn't hear the voice last night; her dreams were soundless. Her stomach clenched and she felt an overwhelming and illogical sense of sadness fill her.
A sound coming from the other side of the door catapulted her into motion again. She looked around the room to make sure she didn't have anything laying around. She found a pad of paper and a pen on the kitchen counter and jotted down a quick note, thanking Aubrey and Chloe for letting her stay and promising to see them later in rehearsals.
She wouldn't have normally felt it important to be gone but she didn't want to make Aubrey uncomfortable. She's not even sure if the blonde was conscious enough last night to remember. Stacie worried her lip as she walked to her dorm. How often did Aubrey have nightmares? She felt a sort of protectiveness wash over her and she knew if she could do anything to help her, she would.
Aubrey slowly woke up, rubbing her eyes and finding it strange that she was on her side. She sat up and racked her brain about what happened during the night. She remembered her dream - well, part of it. Her mind flashed onto a scene of darkness and then the feeling of arms around her. Was that part of the dream? No, she didn't think so. She never dreams about anything nice.
She sat there for several more minutes, grasping at fragments. She could remember whispering. She focused in on it and just when she was about to give up, the entire memory slammed into her. Stacie's arms around her; Stacie's comforting words. She felt her face burning and brought her hands up to cool it. She took a few deep breaths, feeling herself panicking. The idea of someone seeing her at her most vulnerable - it was literally making her tremble. She didn't think she could stand the idea of Stacie making light of her nightmares, or laughing at her.
Aubrey was pulled from her thoughts by a knock at the door. She immediately tensed.
"Bree? Do you want some breakfast? I'm making eggs." She relaxed at the sound of Chloe's voice on the other side.
"Yeah, sure Chlo. That'd be good," she said loudly so Chloe would hear. She got up and surveyed herself in the mirror, cringing at the circles under her eyes. She knew she was going to have to face Stacie eventually and she thought it would be better here, when no one else was really around. Stacie didn't seem like the type to hold back just because some Bellas were present.
She was expecting to see Stacie in the living room but the brunette wasn't there.
"Where's Stacie?"
"She left before I got up," Chloe said and pointed to the note.
Aubrey read the flowy handwriting, running her finger over the ink. Chloe gave her a plate of food and she tried her best to eat as much as possible but her stomach was feeling temperamental. She finished, thanked Chloe for the breakfast and washed her plate. Her head was starting to pound. She took a few Advils before heading to the shower to see if the warm water could put her at ease.
She walked into the rehearsal room later, feeling a little better but still apprehensive. Stacie wasn't there yet and Aubrey had some last minute reading to get done for a class so she settled in with her textbook and quickly became absorbed in her reading. She heard the room around her growing louder as more girls came in and before she knew it, it was time to start.
She looked up, surprised that Stacie hadn't approached her. She's not sure why she was surprised, Stacie didn't always come and talk to her, but she just figured she'd have something to say. She scanned the room and found the brunette's eyes already on her. Stacie gave her a cute half-smile and Aubrey returned it with a light smile of her own.
Stacie did approach Aubrey after rehearsals, though.
"Thanks for letting me stay last night," Stacie said.
Aubrey was trying to keep her voice light. "You had already fallen asleep so I'm not sure we had a choice." She winked, earning a grin from the brunette.
"Do you wanna get some coffee? Or do you have other obligations," Stacie teased.
"Did I hear you say coffee?" Chloe cut in. "Because I could really use some."
"Oh... yeah, sure. Do you want to come?" Stacie asked. Aubrey didn't miss the slight disappointment in her eyes but Chloe was happily oblivious.
"Beca, we're going to get coffee. Come on," Chloe shouted over her shoulder at the tiny girl as she walked ahead.
"Do you sit when she tells you to sit?" Stacie said with a smirk when Beca got near. Aubrey chuckled and Beca scoffed. "Please tell me you at least make her give you a treat."
"Shut up, dude. You trying saying no to her, it's like not possible," Beca grumbled, leaving Stacie and Aubrey to catch up with Chloe.
"She's so whipped," Stacie chuckled.
"Do you think something is going on with them?" Aubrey questioned, lightly.
"Oh, I don't know. I don't think so yet. But it'll happen. Does Chloe like girls?"
Aubrey shrugged. "Chloe doesn't put limits on herself but I'm not sure she's ever actually been with one."
"Have you?" Stacie asked it as nonchalant as possible.
Aubrey paused, both in the conversation and in their walk, before proceeding. "..been with a girl?"
"Yeah."
Aubrey shook her head. "No, I haven't."
Stacie also took a pause before asking her next question, debating on it for a second and slightly nervous about the answer. "Would you?"
Aubrey's stomach flipped at the question but she wasn't sure why. She thought about it for a second. "If I had feelings for a girl, her being a girl wouldn't be something that would stop me from being with her." Stacie nodded. "I just think it would be hard to identify the feelings."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know. Maybe it wouldn't be, but I just think I wouldn't know if it's a friendship feeling or a something more feeling." Aubrey snuck a glance at Stacie; this conversation was beginning to feel like it was hitting too close to home.
Stacie turned her head towards Aubrey and looked her in the eyes. "Think about kissing her."
"W-what?" Aubrey sputtered, hoping Stacie didn't hear.
"If you ever find yourself wondering if you like a girl more than a friend, think about kissing her. If you're indifferent or feeling negatively towards it, you probably don't have feelings. I mean, it's not foolproof but it might help." Stacie shrugged. "But chances are if you're debating it at all, there's at least some more-than-friends feeling there somewhere."
Stacie and Aubrey had caught up with Beca and Chloe right outside the cafe and they went in as a group. Aubrey was preoccupied with thinking about the conversation she and Stacie just had - and beating herself up for not thinking to ask Stacie if she would ever be with a girl.
"Hey, Beca and I were thinking it would be fun if we did like a game night / sleepover thing this weekend with all the girls! Doesn't that sound fun?" Chloe asked as they slid into a booth with their drinks.
Stacie laughed. "Oh really? You and Beca were thinking a game night would be fun?" Chloe grinned and nodded and Beca refused eye contact with Stacie, which only made Stacie laugh harder.
"Does it have to be a sleepover?" Aubrey cut in, glancing quickly and nervously at Stacie before focusing on Chloe.
"That's half the fun, Bree! Plus I wouldn't want any of the girls drinking and leaving."
Aubrey agreed but she still looked worried. Without thinking, Stacie found Aubrey's hand under the booth and gave it a squeeze. She quickly let it go, chastising herself for acting without thinking, and refusing to look Aubrey's way. Aubrey's pulse quickened at the comforting gesture.
All the girls agreed to game night and were packed into Chloe and Aubrey's apartment. The drinking had started and no one could settle on a game to play.
"Why don't we just play Never Have I Ever?" Cynthia Rose suggested. Some of the girls nodded in agreement while a few asked how to play. "Okay, so we go around and we say something we've never done before, and everyone who has done it has to take a drink. Hold up your hand and put down a finger for every drink you take and you're out of the game when all your fingers on one hand are down."
"Okay you go first then, CR," Chloe said.
"Easy. Never have I ever touched a penis." She smirked when every girl in the room took a drink and put a finger down. The next in the semblance of a circle they had going on in the room was Chloe.
She looked at Cynthia Rose pointedly. "Never have I ever made out with a girl." Aubrey watched as Cynthia Rose, Jessica, Ashley and Stacie all took drinks.
Beca's turn came. "Uh, never have I ever.. driven a car." All the girls took a drink while they looked at Beca with baffled expressions.
"Aubrey, it's your turn."
"Never have I ever gotten lower than an A as a final grade in any class." The girls groaned and rolled their eyes. Aubrey watched them all take a drink except for Stacie. She quirked an eyebrow at her and Stacie just shrugged.
"My turn," Stacie said. "Never have I ever been outside of Georgia."
"I'm out," Jessica said.
"Me too," Ashley voiced.
The game went on like this until Chloe was crowned the winner. Amy insisted everyone do a shot in celebration. Aubrey grimaced as the alcohol burned her throat.
The rest of the night was spent with the girls in hysterics over Cards Against Humanity and finally ended with CR teaching them how to play blackjack. As the evening was winding down, Aubrey got more nervous. She must have yelled or talked in her sleep for Stacie to have come into her room the other night, and she knows Chloe has heard her before too. Chloe's usually dead to the world when she sleeps so it hasn't been an issue but she definitely didn't want to wake any of the Bellas.
"Okay, everyone. There's two couches and two queen air mattresses," Chloe called out. "Which means one on each couch, two on each air mattress, one person with me and one person with Aubrey."
"Wait, what?" Aubrey said, wide eyed.
"I'll stay with you, Aubrey," Stacie cut in quickly, trying to give her a reassuring smile.
Aubrey was trying not to panic, at least not visibly - because she was definitely panicking. Stacie was watching her closely. She smiled and nodded as best she could. She told Stacie she was going to go change into pajamas and get into bed but assured the brunette that she should stay out here as long as she wanted. She said goodnight to the other girls.
Aubrey changed quickly and crawled into bed. Her mind was racing. Should she bring up the other night? Stacie hadn't mentioned it once. And she still wanted to ask Stacie about the whole liking girls thing. She groaned inwardly at herself and rolled her eyes - she can't ask Stacie about that when they're sharing the same bed. You're an idiot.
There was a light knock on the door followed by Stacie coming in. She was already in her pajamas. "Guess who's sleeping with Chloe? Seriously, one guess," Stacie said as she shut the door behind her.
"Beca?"
"Ding ding ding." Stacie plopped on the bed and laid down on her back. "I should be more drunk." Aubrey chuckled. "Why aren't you drunker? Were you afraid I'd take advantage of you?" The brunette wiggled her eyebrows.
Aubrey laughed. "That's exactly it."
"I like the sound of your laugh."
"Oh?" Aubrey's stomach flipped.
"You don't do it a lot, really laugh, but it's great when you do." Stacie was staring at the ceiling when Aubrey looked over. The blonde was trying to think of a response when Stacie flipped on her side. "Lemme see your hand." She lifted her own up.
"What?"
Stacie grabbed Aubrey's hand and flattened against her own. "I want to see who has bigger hands. Me!"
Aubrey laughed again. "Why?"
"I'm not really sure," Stacie laughed, letting her hand drop.
"Are you sure you're not drunk? I'm not so sure."
"I'm sure." Stacie grinned.
"I'm gonna turn off my lamp now, is that okay?" Aubrey asked and Stacie nodded. They laid there in the dark for awhile and Aubrey thought Stacie had maybe fallen asleep.
"Can I ask you something?" Stacie whispered into the dark.
"That depends."
"This all just reminds me of a middle school sleepover so I feel like I need to ask a classic middle school question."
Aubrey smiled. "Okay, ask away."
"Do you have a crush on anyone?"
Aubrey sucked in a quiet breath. She kept Stacie waiting a few moments before finally answering. "Honestly? I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out."
"Mm, think about kissing them," Stacie murmured, sounding half asleep.
"I am." Aubrey whispered.
"And how do you feel about it?" Stacie said, sounding more awake.
"Nervous. Really nervous."
"Sounds like a crush to me."
Aubrey thought about it for a long awhile. It made her stomach hurt and her nerves skyrocket.
"Do you?" She asked quietly, in case Stacie was sleeping.
"Hm?" Stacie said, mostly asleep.
"Have a crush?"
"Mhm." Aubrey's stomach clenched. Okay, so Stacie had a crush. So what? It's fine. It doesn't matter. Aubrey laid there for awhile before trying in earnest to fall asleep. She was having difficulty and she was still awake long after Stacie's breathing evened out.
"Ow!" Stacie hissed, rubbing her calf where she had just been kicked. She looked over at Aubrey. The blonde was on her back, her fists clenched, brow furrowed. She let out a whimper.
"Aubrey," Stacie whispered. She wanted to stop this as soon as possible. "Aubrey, wake up." She nudged her shoulder. The blonde stilled. Stacie watched her closely for any changes. A few minutes went by and the brunette closed her eyes again, only to immediately open them when Aubrey let out another whimper.
The blonde's face was scrunched; she shook her head back and forth and then twisted her body to its side. Stacie curled up on her own side and pressed herself up next to the blonde's back, throwing an arm around her waist. The older girl tensed for a second and then relaxed. Stacie grabbed on to her hand and gave it a squeeze. She continued to hold her tight even after she was sure that particular nightmare was over; she continued to hold her hand even as she felt herself relax back into sleep.