Chandler awoke, his eyelids heavy and his throat sore. The headache was still there but it had quietened a little for which he was grateful. With a loud sigh he pried open his eyes and looked around the darkened hotel room as he let fragments of memory slowly wash over him.

She hadn't slept with Joey.

She wasn't Joey's girlfriend.

He wouldn't lose his two best friends.

That was enough to get him sitting up and running a hand through his disheveled hair. With a grimace he took in the empty JD bottle, the almost-empty cigarette packets and the really-not-so empty ashtrays. He had to do something about those, he didn't like them being there. Poignant souvenirs of last night's nightmare which he had no desire to hang onto.

Last night.

Thank god it was over.

For the second time that day, he left the bed with just a few hours' sleep and headed determinedly into the compact bathroom with only one mission; to try and make himself feel a tad more human. However, this time it was different. This time there was a slight spring in his step and the face that greeted him in the brightly-illuminated mirror wore a small smile.

Hope.

That's what was different from this morning; hope. There was now a glimmer of hope where earlier there had only been bleak despair. Light had fought its way into the darkness that had previously surrounded him. He now knew that Monica hadn't slept with Joey; she'd made that clear to him for which he'd be eternally grateful to her.

When they'd spoken earlier, she'd been concerned for him, stroked his hair and cheek and even kissed him. He'd been close to unconsciousness at that point in the conversation but he remembered her touches branding his skin and the way her soft lips had pressed against his. Damn, he wished he'd been more awake.

He splashed cold water onto his face, scrubbing a towel across it and glanced back in the mirror. There was a glint in his eyes which he feared he wouldn't see again after last night. He wanted, no he needed to go find her and talk to her some more. He desperately wanted some answers. He was still confused by her behavior earlier. She'd been so apologetic and protective over him, but had it been purely because of guilt?

She'd guessed his feelings, had understood his pain and had blamed herself. Was that all it was?

He sighed, wishing he knew what was going on in her mind. What it all meant. He left the bathroom and quickly changed then tidied the room. Despite whatever happened, right now, he had a small glimmer of hope and he was gonna cling onto it as if his life depended on it; maybe it did.

With that thought spurring him on he left the hotel room, hoping he would be able to remember the road name the Waltham's house was on. He needed to get to the reception. He needed to check how Ross was doing after the whole name incident. He needed to check how Rachel was doing after the whole name incident. He needed to talk to Joey about last night and, finally, and most importantly he needed to speak to Monica about this afternoon.

That was a lot of people to need to speak to. A lot of people caught up in this ongoing drama.

He made it into the hotel lobby when he blinked, confused as he spotted his friends, minus the not so happy couple, returning.

"Hey," he greeted weakly, swallowing as all three pairs of eyes swung onto him in surprise. "What's, uh, going on? I was about to come and find you guys."

"Emily's gone missing," Monica winced.

Ouch.

"What?" He asked incredulous. This didn't sound good, not good at all. "Seriously?"

"Yup. She escaped outta the bathroom window," Rachel sighed. "No one knows exactly when she left. She could be anywhere by now."

Chandler winced, poor Ross.

"So, they ended the party and threw us all out," Joey mumbled, avoiding looking at him.

Chandler's gaze stayed on his roommate for a moment longer, hating the awkwardness between them.

"How's, uh, Ross?" Chandler ventured, more than a little guilty that he wasn't there for him in his hour of need; some best man he was turning out to be.

"Not good," Monica admitted, before shooting a quick concerned look to Rachel to check on her. Chandler understood the look. "He's with our parents right now and wants to try and look for her but doesn't know where to start…"

As she trailed off Chandler was surprised to see a haunted look cross her features. He couldn't quite decipher its meaning. Eventually, though, he pushed his thoughts out of his mind and simply nodded with a grimace. He couldn't believe how eventful this weekend had been.

He glanced at his three friends. Rachel still looked how she had this morning, in pain and hurting. Joey still looked a little guilty and uneasy as he shuffled his feet. Monica was looking worried, no doubt over him, Rachel and Ross.

It was all such a mess. One big stupid mess.

What to tackle first? As much as he dying to talk to Monica and try to figure some things out there was more at stake. Joey and Rachel were their best friends as were also in a lot of pain. Maybe it was best to try and help them a little first, he didn't want this hanging over them when they were trying to talk. When they did get to talk he had a feeling that their conversation wasn't gonna be a quick one.

"Hey Mon," he suggested, "why don't you and Rachel go back to your room and get changed and me and Joey will do the same then come over?"

That would give them a bit of time to try and help their respective roommates. He was desperate to clear the air with Joey and knew there was no one better to try and give advice to Rachel. Monica was amazing at advice.

He felt her study him for a moment and slowly she nodded, "ok," she agreed finally, "but can I have quick have a word first?" she gestured over to the corner almost nervously.

He swallowed, butterflies suddenly in his stomach as he nodded.

"You guys talk," Rachel insisted quickly, "I'll meet you in your room Monica, come on Joey."

Chandler watched as Joey threw one last worried look at him before he let himself get dragged away by Rachel.

"You ok?" Monica asked quietly, bringing his attention back to her as she came to stand close to him. Very close to him.

He swallowed again.

"Yeah," he offered her a tug of a smile. "A lot better than earlier, thanks for that by the way."

She offered him a genuine smile then and her hand came to rest comfortingly on his arm. Neither were sure who needed the tactile comfort more but both were grateful for it.

"We still need to talk about things," she told him gently.

He was pleased that she still wanted to talk things through. It wasn't just him. That had to be promising. And if it was going to be a bad talk she wouldn't be smiling like that, she wouldn't be touching his arm still and looking at him like that…right? God, he hoped so but he'd never been great at reading 'signs'. And whilst a little stronger, his heart was reluctant to get hurt again so quickly.

"I know," he promised softly, "I wanna talk too and we will…I just can't believe how much has happened in the last 24 hours."

"Yeah," she agreed, "some wedding, huh?"

He looked at her and smiled ruefully. It had been a surreal weekend. Possibly the hardest he could ever remember but he could still feel that little piece of hope in his chest. Her hand was still warm on his arm and she was smiling almost shyly at him. He just prayed it all meant something. It had too. God, he so desperately wanted to talk to her but not here out in the lobby. Not now when Rachel and Joey were waiting for them.

"Can we talk later?" he asked, "Just the two of us? I don't want to rush this or be thinking of the others and right now-"

"Yeah, sure," she nodded quickly then hesitated.

"What?" he asked gently, sensing she wanted to say something. "Hey, what is it?"

"I, was, I…what, uh, are you going to say to Joey?"

He frowned for a moment, confused as to why she was so worried.

"I just want to clear the air," he promised, "reassure him that I don't hate him or anything."

He must have said the right thing as she smiled, the hand on his arm tightening, "thank god," she sighed with a relieved breath. "I'd never forgive myself if you guys fell out over this. Over my stupid drunken-"

Ah.

"Hey," he stopped her guilt trip with a single finger, resting it for the briefest of moments on her perfect lips. "Don't do that. Last night wasn't your fault or Joey's."

She swallowed down the pain and eventually nodded. She still didn't look convinced so he gave into the temptation of pulling her into a hug. Burying his face into her neck he spent a while just savoring her. His arms were tight around her as waist as they both quietly reassured each other and drew in strength. They swayed slightly.

He hadn't lost her.

Thank god he hadn't lost her.

"Are you going to be ok with Rachel?" he asked as they pulled back slightly. "She's really hurting over all this."

"I know," Monica nodded, "I spoke to her at the reception. She was very keen to know where I'd been, especially when I said that I'd been with you."

He nodded in understanding, wondering what Rachel would have told her about their pre-wedding conversations. "We saw each other before the ceremony," he informed her with a wince. "Neither of us were exactly in a happy place."

Monica nodded just wishing she'd been there for both of them.

"I'll look after her, I'll try my best to sort her out," Monica promised, "and you go and sort out Joey and then we can…sort out each other."

"I'd like that," he grinned softly.

She grinned back, looking into his eyes and he swallowed. Her face was still so close and part of him wanted to kiss her but he was still not a hundred percent sure of what was gonna happen between them. Kissing her now would only complicate things; wouldn't it? His eyes were drawn to her red lips and unconsciously his tongue darted out to wet his own. God she was so beautiful.

She looked caught in the same spell. Her eyes running over his face, her lips parting slightly in anticipation. He saw her lean forwards just a fraction. His breath caught in throat, his heart speeding up as he tilted his head then she suddenly looked down, mood broken. She stepped away from him and he closed his eyes trying to compose himself.

"I, uh…" she tried, looking embarrassed.

"Yeah," he agreed, a small smile crossing his lips as he took in the slight flush on her cheeks. Chandler scrubbed a hand through his already mussed hair as Monica fiddled with her handbag. "I, uh, guess we better go deal with our roommates," he commented, "and then we can talk."

Talk. They had to talk first before any kissing could take place, he reminded himself. Kissing without talking could lead to rejection and his heart couldn't handle that. No, they had to take this slowly, sensibly, there was too much at stake.

"Yeah," she agreed, "Sounds like a plan."

He stuffed his hands into his pants' pockets and they started a slow stroll in the direction of the hotel rooms. They walked along the corridor together, their shoulders brushing occasionally as they shared little looks. They rode the elevator in silence and made it to Monica's room first.

"Good luck," he simply said. "I'll, um, catch you in a bit."

Their eyes met again and he swallowed hard as they stood there taking the other in. Eventually, he leant forward and placed a gentle lingering kiss on her cheek

He pulled back and smiled softly as she met his eyes. Then he turned and headed towards his other room. He could feel her eyes on him until he rounded the corner.

With a sigh he tried to forget his thoughts about Monica and ready himself to speak to his roommate.

It wasn't long before he stood in front of the hotel room door, the hotel door that this whole nightmare had started behind. He took a deep steadying breath before pushing it open. Joey's head instantly shot up and he met his troubled eyes briefly.

"Hey," Chandler tried hesitantly.

"Hey," Joey tried back.

Silence.

Chandler winced, hating the awkwardness. He took another deep breath, before taking a seat on his unused bed, "look Joe, I…"

"I swear I didn't know," Joey interrupted him. "I wouldn't have, I mean…"

"I know," Chandler assured him quickly.

"I'd never have done that to you, man," he continued.

"I know, it's alright" Chandler repeated, wetting his lips and sighing. He really didn't want to think about the previous evening, would much rather focus on this evening's potential. He couldn't wait to talk to her. "Don't worry about it."

"If I'd known that you liked her," Joey continued not hearing him, "ya know, in that way, I would have turned her down in an instant. I mean I tried to at first anyway but then-"

"Joey!" Chandler interrupted him, he really didn't want any details, really didn't think he'd be able to cope with them. He wanted to hold onto that brief hope from earlier and didn't want it squished with graphic step by step diagrams. "Look it's not your fault, ok. You guys didn't do anything wrong last night. It's my fault…I just handled it badly…and…"

"You don't hate me?" Joey asked with a frown.

"Of course not," Chandler offered him a tug of a smile.

"Really? Thank god," Joey closed his eyes and let out a relieved breath; Chandler could see the tension drain from his friend. "I was so worried, man. I thought I'd broken the code. Ya know bros before ho-"

"Don't," Chandler cut him off with a slight huff of a laugh, "please don't finish that sentence…ever - Monica would kill you."

Joey chuckled and flashed him a smile; he couldn't help but smile back. They were going to be fine.

"So you and Monica, huh?" Joey asked with a grin.

"I hope so, maybe," he shrugged, his mind going back to that almost kiss. "I know, I'm punching above my weight, right?"

"She's a lot hotter than you," Joey agreed to which Chandler rolled his eyes, "but I think she likes you too."

"Yeah?" he frowned slightly, intrigued to see what his roommate had observed; Joey wasn't renowned for his observational skills.

He watched then as Joey winced, looking down for a moment, turning vaguely serious again.

"You should have seen her last night, after you left," he swallowed a little before looking back up at Chandler. "She was so worried about you, man. I mean, I was too but Monica was so panicked. We tried going after you but you had a head start and we had no idea where you had gone. We hoped you had just gone for a walk to clear your head but as the hours went by she was convinced that something had happened to you.

"We tried driving around the city for a bit in a black cab but it was dark and there were so many people around, even at that time of night, so we had to give up. She was hoping that you would have returned in the time we were gone but when you hadn't, she was so distraught.

"I stayed with her for a bit in her room but knew there was a better chance you'd return to our room. But I didn't want to leave her alone in that state and I didn't want to disturb Ross and Emily, so in the end I gotta hold of Phoebe and she spoke to her while I waited in our room.

"By the time it was morning and there was still no sign of you she looked numb, ya know. I managed to get her to the wedding breakfast and tried to get her to eat something. Although, when Ross asked where you were she almost broke down again but we didn't want to worry him.

"She was talking about going to the police and hospitals but when I got back to the room as saw your suitcase was gone she was so relieved as it meant you were at the very least alive. I told her you wouldn't miss the wedding and that she'd get to talk to you then and that she just had to focus on getting ready.

"Man...she wouldn't have acted like that unless she liked you, Chandler."

A heavy silence hung in the room as Chandler took it all in. He suddenly felt very guilty about what he'd unknowingly put them through. He hadn't even been aware that they'd stopped…doing what they had been. In his mind's eye they'd been enjoying themselves and not once thinking about him.

How wrong he'd been.

A/N- thank you so much for all the feedback! I'm glad people are enjoying this story.

I glad you're liking the chapter titles too. We only ever sang the first verse when I was growing up so I was surprised to see how many verses this nursery rhyme had. Seemed to fit though :o)