Chapter 23: When the Future is Uncertain
Life went back to normal at Oarai, as the team trained in preparation for their final match of the tournament, even as their opponents prepared for their semifinals match.
Oarai did not yet know which of the two remaining semi-finalists would be their final opponent, but their goal remained the same; to refine their basic skills and ability to work together, so that they would be able to defeat whoever they faced.
They also prepared for the future, training some of their newer members so that they would truly be ready to fight on the team next. year. They had a long way to go, but when the next year came around, they would not have the same disadvantage that much of those who had come to the team soon after its return had. Improving one's skills was an ongoing process, and when the next year came, the newcomers' seemingly thankless efforts would pay off for them and for the team as a whole.
Inside the observation tower on Oarai's practice field, Miho, along with the rest of Anglerfish Team, watched a group of first-years practicing inside the Panzer IV. Some of the more experienced crews took turns rotating out to give the newer members a chance to practice, improve their skills and see where they would fit best. Five of the first-years, who worked together on a regular basis, did particularly well in the Panzer IV, excelling in drills and even holding their own when Azusa and Nodoka commanded half of the team each in a practice match against each other.
"Wow, it's almost like we're the ones crewing that tank," Saori said.
"I agree; their skills have improved in all roles, as has their ability to work together ," Miho said. "They may fit into the team well as our replacements."
"If they end up that way, it's probably the first new team that hasn't joined as a pre-existing group since we and Rabbit Team did," Saori said. "Out of curiosity, Miporin, how do other schools deal with forming crews?"
Miho paused as she sifted through her memories. Most people, including the recruits who had joined Oarai in the middle of the year, joined tankery by themselves, as opposed to the groups of friends and fellow club members that comprised most of Oarai's tankery team.
"They tend to try to keep crews of people together, but that's dependent on everyone being able to perform up to standards," Miho said. "As such, it's entirely likely that you'll have a different crew from one year to the next; most successful crews have a good level of mutual trust and even friendship, but they aren't quite as close as most of ours." Miho paused. "Of course, constantly changing crew makeups can happen here, too, and Momogawa-san is one individual who has been subject to that- and will continue to be."
Anteater Team had lost Piyotan when she graduated at the end of the previous year, and would lose Nekota and Shiina at the end of the current one. It had changed a great deal, and would in the future, but so far, those changes had largely been for the better. The team had come a long way from its rough start, and now was able to pull through in tight spots.
Miho realized that Oarai's team as a whole would change. They would lose established assets to the team, while gaining potentially promising new talents. Some members would not stay around for long, while others would become valued parts of the team. Change was inevitable, but was it necessarily good?
Miho's thoughts drifted back to her mother, whose entire life had been devoted to the Nishizumi school. Miho was starting to truly understand what it was like to be responsible for a group that would remain after one's tenure in it had expired, as well as to worry about how it might change after her departure.
In the end, however, Miho knew, as she had since she learned that her mother believed that firing on an enemy rescuing one's allies was an acceptable method of attaining victory, that she could not emulate her mother's ideology or methods. Miho also knew, since receiving Hisa's e-mail about her meeting with the last commander of Oarai's old tankery team, the cautionary tale of Oarai's old tankery team. Ultimately, the solution was hers to figure out until her successors inherited that responsibility, but the prospect was less intimidating for her than it once was. Maho had not endeavored to allow Miho to live her own way merely out of sisterly love, but also because she knew this, so it was now up to Miho to make the most of this opportunity.
Late at night at the Nishizumi house, Shiho continued to work on her school's curriculum in her home office. She had changed from her suit to her nightgown, having handed her most of her business clothes to Kikuyo so that she could do the laundry. The workspace was neat and relatively spartan, having little in it but what Shiho needed to work. The minimalist touch was not for the sake of professionalism, as Shiho did not use the room to meet people, but so she could work without distractions. When Shiho was inside, Kikuyo was under orders to knock, and to not bother Shiho unless it was an important matter requiring her attention.
Shiho thought of being head of the Nishizumi school as being at the intersection of the past, present and future. She had not founded the school, but she had inherited the fruit of all her predecessors' hard work, and it was for their sake that she hoped to ensure that the Nishizumi school continued onward. She had faced many issues in her time, and would face many more until her retirement. She would one day hand the leadership of the school over to Maho, but it was still her duty to ensure that Maho inherited a strong school, and to ensure that Maho was ready for the responsibility.
The task had always been difficult, but Shiho believed that the easiest way to accomplish this goal was to use the same methods as those who had previously worked on it. Her conviction in this idea had been absolute, founded on the impressive records of many of its alumni, but when Black Forest's winning streak was stopped, her convictions were shaken.
Shiho had recently come to the realization that perhaps, her time as head of the school had never been like what her mother and grandmother had experienced. Neither of them had multiple daughters, and none of them had a daughter like Miho. Black Forest had been defeated many times in the past, but those instances could always be blamed on a failure to follow Nishizumi tenets. It seemed like the most logical explanation, or at least the explanation that Shiho was most inclined to come up with.
More recently, it no longer seemed as convincing as it once did. It would now be put to the test, with Shiho's former student Erika facing off against the schools that defeated her school two years ago and last year, and Shiho's daughter heading towards the finals. Neither of them would have Miho on their side, and Shiho believed that no one would be holding them back. But if they lost, what then? Would Shiho need to rethink the Nishizumi style itself? Shiho had found herself considering the possibility more than she would like to admit, but could not find any answers to that question.
Shiho looked at the clock on her desk, and realized that it was getting late, and no answers were coming. Managing the Nishizumi school was no easy task, but there were times in recent years when Shiho was dissatisfied with her performance even while taking that into account.
At Pravda, Kinue held a meeting with Kumakura Toshi, her team's coach, to discuss the team's performance. While many anticipated that Toshi would retire soon, few wanted to see her go. Toshi was the school's longest serving coach, having coached since Kinue's mother was in high school, and had played an important role in developing the team over the years. In an interview, she said one of the greatest joys of teaching was seeing her students develop over time and succeed in their own right, particularly passing down their knowledge in one way or another.
As Kinue gave her report on the team's practice and strategy planning, she noticed Toshi simply nodding, but not saying anything until she had finished.
"At this point, with the match so close, I think the time has come to say that you've done all you could, Kinue," Toshi said. "You'll need to have the people and tanks ready for the semifinals"
"I know, Kumakura-sensei," Kinue said, "and those are good points. But when my opponent's Black Forest, 'all I could do' may not be enough, so I can't entirely be satisfied with this."
Toshi nodded. She had heard the sentiment in many ways from Kinue's predecessors when they faced Black Forest; most of them had failed, but a handful had succeeded. The one thing those who had succeeded had in common was the desire to continually better themselves and the belief that they could succeed. Kinue always had the former trait in abundance, but her developing the latter trait had been an ongoing process.
"That's natural," Toshi said. "When you set out to do what you haven't done before, you naturally find yourself wondering to some degree whether you can do it. People experience it to varying degrees, but those who do actually do it succeed by virtue of keeping that feeling to a reasonable level."
"Yes, ma'am," Kinue said. "I do believe in my own ability and that of the people under my command. Of course, I am also aware of difficulty of what I am setting out to do, and no amount of confidence will change the facts of what I am up against."
Toshi nodded.
"You know, a bit of doubt isn't always a bad thing," Toshi said. "Black Forest's belief in their invincibility has gone on for too long, and even losing to Nishizumi Miho has not completely shattered it. Perhaps it may be better for them in the long run if they lose to you tomorrow."
Kinue nodded. She had never believed herself to be the strongest, but merely hoped that she would be able to accomplish her goals and those of her team. Confidence had brought her sister quite far, but she drew strength from other sources. In the end, it would be up to her to succeed where her sister had failed many times, and do so her own way.
At Black Forest, the team continued to prepare for the finals, but as their semifinals match approached, there was an odd tension in the air. Their coach was even more vigorously enforcing the rules, which was saying something considering Black Forest. Takako was also holding private meetings with Erika, and rumors swirled as to what the two Nishizumi disciples were discussing. Some concluded that the meetings were nothing more than strategy discussions, while others had theories of their own, such as that the headmistress, in her second year at the school, was considering ordering Takako to resign if the tournament did not end well for Black Forest.
While many Nishizumi disciples attended and did tankery at Black Forest, because of the selective nature of the school, they comprised a relatively small portion of the team. The majority, while generally talented, at least somewhat experienced in tankery, possessing a good work ethic and determined to win, thus did not unquestioningly accept or even understand why this tournament was so important to those from the Nishziumi school.
With such feelings in mind, Awai approached Koume. Awai knew that Koume, one of the relatively few who openly spoke out in favor of Miho's decision to save her tank- particularly since she was one of those who had been saved- would be able to answer her questions without parroting the Nishizumi doctrine.
"Hey, Koume, I've got a question," Awai said.
"Go ahead, Awai-san," Koume said. While some would have taken Awai to task for her familiarity with a girl who was both her senpai and her superior, Koume had no objections, having had a similarly friendly and informal relationship with Miho.
"Is it just me or does Black Forest seem even more on edge than usual?" Awai said. "I mean, I came in the year after 'that incident' in the match with Pravda, so I understand we've been struggling to make up for that loss, but this even goes beyond that."
"Times were difficult in the days after our loss two years ago," Koume said. "People were calling for Miho-san and my crew to resign- except for me, they ended up leaving the team anyway for other reasons. It got bad enough that the former commander had to step in and insist that no one was to be scapegoated for what happened. Things only started to improve when we had something to work towards- namely, succeeding where we failed."
"I know," Awai said, "And I also know how well that worked out."
"The loss against Oarai was easier to take," Koume said, "since we'd defeated Pravda, only to lose after a long struggle against Oarai, rather than a twist of fate. As such, no one who wanted to play the blame game could honestly do so without taking on a share of the responsibility. But while we didn't feel cheated out of the victory, it was sobering to accept that we had shortcomings that couldn't be pinned on a single member or group. Those who favor the Nishizumi style took it particularly hard, not wanting to see their school suffer a loss of face."
"Yeah, that's what I heard," Awai said. "So how about not telling me about other people's opinions and instead, saying what you think?"
Koume nodded.
"I was grateful for the opportunity to be part of a school with a record like ours," Koume said, "and even more grateful to be given a second chance on the team. As a way of showing my gratitude, and for the sake of my team, I try my hardest so that my friends, the rest of the team and I can win. I suppose for many people, things are as simple as that when it comes to tankery, even those in the Nishizumi school."
Awai nodded. While full of herself enough to hope that her teams would be worthy of her, rather than the other way around, she still resolved to perform at least as well as she believed she could, for the sake of proving herself and advancing her school's good name. Perhaps if other Black Forest tankers had mindsets similar to her and Koume, their desire to win would be easy enough to understand.
Before the match, Hiroe called Maho on the phone. After a few minutes of greetings and small talk, the conversation turned to tankery, particularly the upcoming match between their respective alma maters.
"Black Forest vs. Pravda is coming up fairly soon," Maho said. "It's gotten quite a bit of hype, so fair number of people are talking about it at my university. It's probably the most eagerly anticipated Japanese tankery match this year apart from the university finals; considering that we're competing, that's saying something."
"Yeah, I'd imagine," Hiroe said. "The same goes with my university, which has some Pravda alumni attending. One of them, who's two years older than I am, invited me to a party, where I'd watch the game with people who went to Pravda, but I declined, since Hiroko and I are going to see it with Mom and Aunt Masaki- Dad and Uncle Masaya have work, and Grandma hasn't been able to make it to my games since I started high school."
"I see," Maho said. "I've received similar invitations, and declined them for the same reasons. Mother and I will be watching it together."
Hiroe let off a soft, sympathetic sigh, knowing that spending an entire match with Shiho was not likely to be a pleasant prospect, especially not for a daughter who grew up under her thumb. But because she knew that Maho was perhaps the person most aware of this, and because she had more pertinent questions, Hiroe decided not to bring this up.
"Just wondering, but who are you going to be rooting for this time... privately, that is?" Hiroe said. "Have you given it any more thought?'
Maho sighed.
"That's a difficult question, Hiroe," Maho said. "Kinue is my friend and your sister, but Black Forest is my alma mater."
Hiroe paused. She and Maho felt comfortable enough talking to each other that Maho could honestly admit that she would not be rooting for Pravda, and could believably say that she would be.
"I know what you're getting at," Hiroe said. "But even apart from my little sister, I have a few younger friends who are still at my alma mater. Can you say the same?"
Maho paused, carefully thinking over her answer.
"I'd like to say yes," Maho said, "but unfortunately, I can't do so wholeheartedly. The truth is that most of my team sees me as a commander, first and foremost, and we don't know each other well enough to be considered friends. It's part of how the Nishizumis are expected to lead."
"Well, my family and I aren't like that," Hiroe said. "If you came to the Atago school, and enrolled as a student in the Refresher Course, you'd have to call me 'Assistant Instructor' or 'ma'am,' but I could make an exception for you when we're alone."
"I see," Maho said. "That sounds like a reasonable deal, but I most likely will never get to put it to the test."
"Well, I wasn't completely joking," Hiroe said. "My family's school has done some collaborations with others. One of our first students for our adult classes was Assistant Instructor Shimada Mayumi, who's about six years older than I am, and doesn't see anything humiliating about going back to school or learning from someone with a very different mindset."
"That's quite wise," Maho said. "Perhaps the Nishizumi school may need to adapt and change as well, a process that will likely become my responsibility."
Hiroe paused to consider her answer. She wanted to wholeheartedly support Maho on this regard, but having challenged Maho and her school many times, only to be defeated almost every time, she knew what it meant to want something badly, only to face difficult odds.
"Not to be a killjoy," Hiroe said, "but how would you plan on doing that? Your mom's' a real bi-I mean, tyrant, and we're talking about something much bigger than running off to save a tank in a championship match. You'd not only need a viable plan, but a way to implement it without your mom putting a stop to the whole process."
"I don't know yet," Maho said. "I only know that change is needed, but not what to do or how to do it."
"I thought so," Hiroe said, with mild disappointment. "It's kind of unfortunate, but rushing in without a plan gets you nowhere at best. I suppose that you can only do what you can do, for now, right?"
Maho nodded.
"For now, I will fulfill my responsibilities as heiress," Maho said, "which, in the short term, means defeating you in our coming battle."
Hiroe remained silent, not at all surprised by what she was hearing. She knew and got along with other schools' commanders, but when they faced each other on the field of tankery battle, they were no less determined to defeat her. It thus made sense that Maho, as heiress to the Nishizumis as well as commander for Rhineland University, would be no different.
"Please don't take this personally, though," Maho continued. "It's the same as it was for Miho last year; the Nishizumi style expects its practitioners, especially the school's heiresses, to triumph no matter who stands in their way."
"Oh, I won't," Hiroe said with a chuckle, her sense of competitiveness having revived. "I'll just make sure it ends the same way your attempt at beating Miho did- in complete and utter failure!"
"I see," Maho said. "Well, I look forward to seeing how you do, Hiroe."
A few minutes of conversation about school and life late, Maho and Hiroe said goodbye, promising to do their best in their upcoming match.
As Maho got off the phone with Hiroe, she remembered what she liked most about her friend; her ability to wholeheartedly and confidently commit herself to her chosen course of action. Erika had that to some degree as well, and while her arrogance caused Hiroe to dislike her, they were less different than Hiroe was willing to admit. This aspect of them was particularly evident when contrasted with the relatively humble Miho and Kinue, who won because their opponents underestimating them, and because they did not lose themselves to overconfidence or impulsiveness. At the same time, though, Hiroe and Erika's confidence was both based on past successes and crucial to their present success, giving them the advantage in a battle of wills.
Who would triumph once the rivals faced each other this time? Maho found this question difficult to answer with any degree of certainty, but knew that for Erika, the answer was obvious.
"I suppose if nothing else, you've always known what you want to do, Erika," Maho thought. "If you keep that confidence and clarity of focus up at the crucial moment, without letting it go to your head, it might just be the key to victory."
Author's Notes
This is another transition chapter, leading up to Pravda vs Black Forest, and mainly going into the Nishizumi school plotline again.