Chapter 31: An Essential First Step
Several weeks after the finals, Maho sat before Shiho in the living room of the Nishizumi family home. She had been called home alone to discuss matters relating to the family.
The discussion began with news about Homura, who had recently been released from the hospital, but was still recovering at home. When he said hello to his elder daughter, he mentioned that his condition was steadily improving, and he was starting to undergo physical therapy. He was grateful for this development, and eager to resume work, so that he could once again do his part for the family, and put his energy into an outlet that benefited the Nishizumi family and school.
If Maho or Miho had hoped that the crisis would have become a catalyst that forced the Nishizumis to rethink their family, and learn to value family bonds over success and their legacy, the sisters would have been disappointed. Their mother had long since made it clear that she was not someone who was so easily moved by sentimental matters. Her husband being so badly injured and hospitalized had been hard on her, but it had not significantly shaken the values that Shiho had held dear to her for her entire life.
Neither had her school's third consecutive defeat, or her daughter losing in the finals of her first university level tournament. In the end, Shiho still most desired that her school be successful and well-regarded, but she was starting to question how this could be achieved, and why they had recently failed to do it.
"I've come to a realization over the course of the last two years," Shiho said. "The problems facing our school cannot be laid at Miho's feet any longer. She is simply one person who, practicing her own style of tankery, managed to defeat the Nishizumi style. Others, including the Atago sisters, have done so as well, so this is clearly not a case of her holding us back or causing us to lose face."
"So what do you believe this means, Mother?" Maho said, with cautious optimism in her voice. Shiho's implication that she was no longer blaming Miho was a promising sign, but Maho knew better than to expect Shiho to have changed her values overnight.
"It's possible the Nishizumi school may need to adapt to the times in order to survive," Shiho said. "Changing our ways of doing things may be necessary to win at all, much less succeed by our standards. Change and compromise are bitter pills to swallow, but I have always been willing to do anything to uphold our family's good name, and compromise may be one step."
"What are you telling me to do, Mother?" Maho said. "What changes do you believe the Nishizumi school must undergo?"
Much to Maho's surprise, Shiho did not immediately answer, appearing lost in thought for a moment. Some believed the Nishizumi school was reliant on tradition, almost to the point of being anti-intellectual, but Shiho, having spent decades practicing and teaching tankery, knew the Nishizumi style well and was confident in it, using it as its answer to myriad tankery-related questions. But today, that confidence was no longer there, and Shiho no longer seemed sure of her answer.
"I believe you'll have to find the answer," Shiho said. "It's a process that won't be solved overnight, nor will it be one that ends in my or your lifetimes unless we choose to give up on it. Even if we do find an answer to our problems, it may not stay the correct one for long"
Maho paused to consider what her mother was saying. It was a thought she had to consider when weighing how best to change the Nishizumi school, which she knew to be a process that was longer, more difficult and had less of a clear answer than serving as heiress for Miho's sake. In spite of that, Maho had willingly chosen to go through that process for Miho, and now that she had started to gain more of an appreciation for the potential for change she had, she was willing to take on this challenge as well.
"Perhaps it's not a short or easy process, but now is as good a time as any to start," Maho said. "It is my duty as heiress, and also my personal desire, to help with this process. "
"That's good to hear," Shiho said. "So what plans do you have, Maho? I suppose it's too early to expect you to have a comprehensive plan, but at this point, a starting point is good."
Maho nodded. Hiroko had made it clear to her that she had a long way to go before she could tackle the proble, but she had some idea of where to start.
"I plan on connecting with some people I have done tankery in the past, who now are rethinking their methods of doing it," Maho said. "Perhaps their mindsets will be best suited to the changing Nishizumi style, and with their help, I can once again lead my troops to victory. What I learn from this process could very well become good lessons to teach my students."
Shiho nodded.
"I think I know at least one of the individuals you have in mind," Shiho said. "But whether she will choose to help is another matter, and you likely can't compel her any more than I could."
Maho nodded, understanding what Shiho was getting at. The person in question had not yet made her decision, despite having come to a new understanding of how to do tankery the earliest. But she was also the person whose cooperation Maho most needed, and who Maho most wanted by her side.
"I never had any desire to do so, Mother," Maho said. "As always, my greatest priority is for Miho to make her own decisions for her own reasons. That said, I do hope the one she makes will be one that will make her happy."
A few weeks after the end of the tournament, Miho joined the Skype conversation that her sister had set up to discuss her university plans. She recognized several different people there. Her sister was on, as she expected, but Erika and Teru were also in the conversation.
"Hello, everyone," Miho said, and the various participants responded in kind.
"It looks like, with the exception of Akasaka-senpai, you've gathered all your vice-captains here, Maho," Teru said.
"Yes; in various senses, all of you were the people I worked most closely with in high school," Maho said. "Apart from my being expected to keep a certain professional distance from most people, I didn't talk with most people on the team very closely, if at all. Teams that size often become fairly impersonal, although I do try to know who's on the team and what they're capable of."
Miho silently concurred. She got along well with the rest of her team, but was only close friends with her team, as well as a handful outside of it.
"In any case, Miho, I'd like to congratulate you on how well you did in the tournament," Teru said. "In my middle school years, I was lucky to get anywhere near the finals. In spite of that, for the first two years, I was happy."
A somber silence ensued for a moment. Everyone knew what had happened four years ago, even if of the other three, only Maho and Miho knew the significance. As such, Miho and Maho had been pleased to hear that Teru was planning on returning to tankery to do it once again, simply because she enjoyed it and hoped to do it alongside Saki one day.
"Indeed; reaching the finals and nearly winning with the resources and people you have at your disposal is quite an accomplishment," Erika said, "especially compared to what I managed with mine."
"Thank you, Teru-san, Erika-san," Miho said. "And Erika-san, I'm glad to hear you also got into my sister's university."
"Thanks, Miho," Erika said. "But didn't you also succeed?"
"I was accepted into Rhineland and a few other places," Miho said, "but have yet to officially confirm which one I will attend. Unfortunately, at this point, I'm still not sure where I want to go. Part of me is inclined to join my sister at Rhineland, but..."
Miho trailed off, finding it difficult to precisely and succinctly describe her reservations about making such a decision.
"What reason would you have for not wanting to go there?" Erika said. "It's probably the best school out there for those interested in tankery, with Romanov coming in a close second. You should forget about holding out for a school like Oarai, since none of those you considered fit the bill."
Miho silently conceded what Erika had said. The vast majority of those doing tankery in university had done so in high school, in contrast to how most of Oarai had joined the team as beginners.
"There are a few factors I have to consider," Miho said. "As far as academics go, Rhineland seems like the best place, although one of the other schools that accepted me is comparably good. But as far as tankery goes, it's a more complicated question. The only thing I'm sure about is that I still want to do tankery in university."
Maho smiled slightly upon hearing Miho's last remark. In that regard, Miho had come a long way since the finals two years ago, realizing that she loved tankery and could do it her own way.
"Did your mother say anything about this, Miho?" Teru said. "I would think she would have her preferences, and would want to weigh in on this in some way."
"Mother gave me some useful analysis of the pros and cons of the universities I was considering," Miho said. "But when I asked her which one she wanted me to choose, she said, with an amused slight smile, 'Why would I do something like that, Miho? In the end, you'll choose whatever you want.' I couldn't entirely argue with that."
"Essentially, that's what Mother feels, Teru," Maho said. "She's given up on trying to force Miho to do tankery the Nishizumi way." But after a pause, Maho realized that Miho was not convinced. "But you're still worried that Mother may impose her will or hold you to her standards, aren't you, Miho?"
"Well, yes, Onee-chan," Miho said. "I can't help but worry that, if I go to the same school as you, I will also be expected to uphold the Nishizumis' creed once again. As tempting as the prospect of going to school and doing tankery with you is, that was the reason why I left Black Forest."
Erika and Teru silently agreed with Miho.
"You said 'the Nishizumis' creed,' Miho," Maho said, and Miho remained silent to get her to elaborate. "I understand that you cannot agree with our policy of winning at all costs, but is that what we're about any more?"
"Are you saying that it's changing, Onee-chan?" Miho said.
"It may be," Maho said. "To put it simply, Miho, the Nishizumi school is in the process of redefining itself, and I'd like you to play a part in that process. Just as you redefined yourself and found a new way of tankery at Oarai Academy, Teru has been rethinking why she does tankery over the past year- culminating in her decision to resume doing tankery for its own sake. Similarly, Erika's defeat this year has forced her to reconsider her ideals as well. In order to keep winning at all, much less at the rate we've been expected to win until now, we will have to rethink our ideals."
"That's asking a great deal of me, Onee-chan," Miho said. "Even when I was at Oarai, fighting for the school to stay open, I was not fighting for the sake of anyone outside the school."
"I know," Maho said. "My original goal was for you to be free of such responsibilities, so that you could enjoy tankery with your friends. Over time, however, I've started to wonder whether my inheritance of the school might be an opportunity, and the same can be said of this proposal as well. Mother's eyes will be on us, but we have a possibility of building a new and better school, one that you would be happy to represent or train under."
Miho's eyes lit up. In the past, the ruthless dedication to victory her mother and many other Nishizumi disciples possessed, and the expectation for her to emulate such people was the greatest obstacle to her enjoying tankery. The thought of successfully changing that was an enticing prospect, but the difficulty of the task was also intimidating.
After several seconds of silence, Miho spoke.
"That sounds promising, but I'll still need to think about it, Onee-chan," Miho said. "It's not an easy decision, by any means."
"I know," Maho said, "and that's why I hope you'll be able to make the choice that's right for you. Let's talk about this again soon."
"I will," Miho said. "I'd like to talk to some of my friends, first."
After saying goodbye, the four girls signed off. Miho then began to write down a list of names of people who could help her come to an understanding of her decision.
The next night, Miho had dinner at her apartment with her friends from Anglerfish Team, telling her about her conversation with her sister and some of her former schoolmates from Black Forest. The others remained silent as she told them what she had said and heard, as well as the thoughts she had since then.
"Essentially, I'm trying to figure out whether I'll be happy going to Rhineland," Miho said, "and whether my sister's proposal will have the results we desire."
"I think it's something you can only decide for youself, Nishizumi-dono," Yukari said. "It's just like when you came to Oarai, isn't it?
"That's true, Yukari-san," Miho said. "At the time, I was leaving behind my old school and everyone I knew to go to one that I knew relatively little about, merely because it did not have tankery, and it ultimately turned out to be the right decision. All the same, I am curious about one thing; have you made your decisions on where you'll be going?"
The others sighed, wondering how to tell her. Mako, however, decided to speak first.
"I hate to break it to you, Miho," Mako said, "but none of us are going to the same place as each other, nor are we considering either of the schools you mentioned."
Miho simply sighed. She knew that her friends, with their differing career aspirations, thus weighed schools differently, and a school that might be well-suited to one member of the group might be completely useless to the others. In spite of that, it was somewhat disheartening to hear that none of her friends were going to university together. Even Yukari, the one who most wanted to go to the same school as Miho, did not have good enough grades to stand a chance at getting in.
"I see," Miho said. "I was prepared for something like this happening, although it doesn't necessarily make my decision any easier."
"It's not like I don't understand what you're dealing with," Mako said. "Saro's planning on joining the police. Myeonghwa's got one more year left in high school, then she's going to college in France. I'm considering going to Shiina and Natsumi's school, but no one else I know is."
"Yeah," Saori said. "Kaorin's the only one I know well who's going to the same university as I am."
"I know that I'm not the only one who will have to face this decision in the near future, or who has multiple considerations to think of," Miho said. "But my family does make it somewhat more difficult."
"You want to do tankery, but you want to do it your own way?" Yukari said.
Miho nodded. The single most important lesson she had learned throughout high school was the clearest thing to her.
"That's essentially it," Miho said. "I suppose that Oarai, a team with people who had little experience, was essentially a blank slate, and was most flexible as far as my developing my own style went. Can I say the same for an established university?"
Miho's mind went to Maginot. The school had come up when she had talked with Kinue on the phone recently, and Kinue said that Eclair had taken many risks and garnered the dislike of a good portion of the team in the process of bringing about her vision of change. Miho had been somewhat disheartened to hear this, although she found Kinue telling her that Eclair had no regrets about it to be somewhat reassuring.
"I don't know what to say," Yukari said. "I would say to not let others influence your actions and do whatever feels right to you, but it isn't that simple, is it?"
Miho hesitantly shook her head. There was a distinction between accepting advice and relying on- or being controlled by- someone else. She believed that the former, rather than dictating the choices one made, helped one understand the choice, and therefore choose what was best. Perhaps with the right insights, the choice would be simpler and making the right decision would be easy.
"It might be," Miho said. "I'm planning on searching out more advice, from someone who does speak plainly and sees things as simple matters. Perhaps that perspective may be what I need to make a decision without hesitation or regrets."
A few hours later, Miho got in touch with her old friends from elementary school, and told them what she had told the rest of her crew.
"I honestly don't know what we can say that the others didn't, Miho," Emi said. "I'm going back to Germany, and as far as I know, Hitomi and Chihiro have plans of their own."
"Yeah," Chihiro said. "Once again, I'm going to a popular sports school, while Hii-chan's going to a tankery school... and the two aren't one and the same."
"Besides, I don't think I could help you much here, Miho-chan," Hitomi said. "Apart from what I hear from my crew's commander, I barely know anything about running a team."
"I see," Miho said. "I thought so, but wanted to hear from you."
"You probably know this on some level by now," Emi said, "but this is something that you'll have to figure out for yourself, just like your sister is doing at this point. Having come to find my own way of tankery, I realize how difficult finding your own path is, but also know how important it is, as well."
"That's true," Miho said. "Oarai was a place conducive to that since there wasn't any firmly established ideology, but I can't say the same for Rhineland.."
"Maybe not," Emi said. "But the team listens to the commander, and the commander will listen to you, so you should have a chance."
"Perhaps," Miho said. "But even if my sister and I have authority, it won't be an easy process, or a short one."
"I know, and that's what I learned in my time in Germany," Emi said. "In retrospect, it probably wasn't fair for me to expect you to come to a decision before I left, even if I hoped to have the satisfaction of knowing that you'd gotten started on it."
Miho shook her head.
"As they say, 'a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,' Emi-chan," Miho said. "Still, it does feel a bit lonely going all that way by myself."
"You won't be alone, Miho," Emi said. "Your sister aside, I'm sure your other friends will be watching you over and cheering you on, wherever they are, and we're no exception. Good luck, Miho."
Miho smiled. Emi had never been one for platitudes or insincere compliments, so when she said something of that, she meant it. It was the only support she could give to Miho in this endeavor, but it was nevertheless invaluable, and Miho hoped to continue to keep in touch with Emi in the years to come.
Miho decided to place a call to Hiroe for advice, successfully reaching her the afternoon of the next day.
"Hi, Miho," Hiroe said.
"Hello, Hiroe-san," Miho said. "I was hoping to ask you for some advice."
"It's about university, right?" Hiroe said. "Your sister told me a little about the decision you were facing, but said you hadn't committed to anything yet. She asked me to answer your questions if you had any, but not push you toward anything."
"I see," Miho said. She was long used to her friends picking up on when she was feeling troubled, even if she was hesitant to admit it directly. The current situation was less troubling than some of those she had been in the past, but it was a difficult decision that would shape her life in the next four years and the future beyond.
"You can probably blame me for this," Hiroe said. "Your sister and I were talking much earlier, and at some point during the convention, the idea got in her head that she could change the Nishizumi school."
"Did she say that she no longer was content with how things were?" Miho said.
"That's only part of it," Hiroe said. "She said that all these years, she'd thought of being heiress as a burden she'd bear so that you wouldn't have to. But now, she's moving forward and making her own decisions. I have to say, I like that sort of determination."
Hiroe was different from her mother in some regards, preferring a somewhat more laid-back approach to leadership. While her mother was somewhat stricter and more distant, albeit not nearly on the same level as Shiho, she found her daughter's approach a potentially viable one, even as she cautioned her that starting out on the strict side while establishing her authority might work well.
Miho nodded, finding what Hiroe said about Maho's opinions familiar.
"So do I," Miho said. "I've done what I could to become stronger willed and support her in this, but I do have to wonder; is there a place for my own way of tankery in the effort to revitalize the Nishizumi school?"
"I can't say for certain about your mother, Miho, but your sister wants you, more than anyone else, as part of that effort," Hiroe said. "Perhaps free thinkers like you who win against greater odds are what the Nishizumis need after decades of obsession with victory and ruthless determination."
"That's true," Miho said. "But what if Mother tries to force me to do things her way again? Can my sister oppose her if it comes to that?"
Hiroe paused, considering the Nishizumi family's perspective. In her family, her mother said that the option to resign from her post was always available.
"That's a good question," Hiroe said. "But as much as I hate your mom's guts, I've also noticed that she's admitted that she can't bring you to heel even with the threat of disowning you. That's quite the admission from someone like her."
"Indeed," Miho said. "I was shocked when I first heard it, because Mother does not make idle threats. On the other hand, it is perhaps more difficult for Mother to admit when she is wrong, so the fact that she has effectively done so is all the more surprising."
"Yeah," Hiroe said. "I'm not about to forgive her for what she put you and Maho through- although Mom says that you and Maho are the only ones who can do so. In spite of that, I think that you should go for it and accept your sister's proposal, if for no other reason than that it's nice to do tankery with your sister."
Miho smiled, remembering how excited Kinue was to have gotten into Romanov, and all her own happy memories doing tankery with Maho.
"I will," Miho said. "Thank you for talking with me, Hiroe-san."
"Not a problem, Miho," Hiroe said. "Send my regards to Maho."
Miho felt as though she had made up her mind, but a small amount of hesitation and indecision remained. But then she remembered what she had heard from Shizuru, and realized that some degree of doubt, especially for a degree like this was natural. She would not let it stop her from doing what she must, but she always believed it was what made her human. Perhaps that touch of humanity would be what the Nishizumi school needed, rather than its perfectionist ideals.
Miho logged into Skype, having asked Maho to call the others together, and let them know her decision.
"Thank you for coming, Erika-san, Teru-san," Miho said. "My sister may have told you this, but I would like to announce that I have finalized my decision to come to your school."
"Again, I'm glad to hear that, Miho," Maho said.
"As am I," Teru said. "As someone who also walked away from tankery only to return to it, I know better than most that no one can tell you how to do tankery. It's a decision that you must make yourself, and I'm glad you have done so."
"So is Saki-san," Miho said, having heard first-hand from Saki about Teru's decision, as well as from Teru herself.
"I do have a request, Miho," Erika said, "one that I also made to your sister recently. I'd like for the two of us to start over, in a sense."
"What do you mean, Erika-san?" Miho said.
"I always judged you by the person I hoped you would be, rather than the person you are," Erika said, "in particular, by the standards of the Nishizumi school, which you chose not to meet. I never looked past your sister's facade as the ideal Nishizumi tanker to see the person beneath. And I don't think I ever truly knew Teru at all."
"Few people did back when you and I first met, Erika," Teru said. "Of course, it was in large part because I refused to allow many people close to me. That, among many other things, is changing, now that I'm starting over, in a sense."
"I suppose all of us are starting over, in a sense, Erika," Maho said, "and Miho has done so before the rest of us. But even if we're going down a new path, we still have the skill and determination that brought us down the one we've walked until now."
Miho knew a great many things about the future were still uncertain, and that whatever path she chose would be long and difficult for her. But even if her friends from Oarai were going their separate ways, she would not walk it alone.
"You're right, Onee-chan," Miho said. "Whatever the future holds for our school, we'll face it together."
Miho knew that at the moment, she had done little for this new effort but make promises, just like she had when she had told Emi that she would find her own way of tankery. But now, like back then, she had made an essential first step, and had acquired the confidence she needed to see the process through to an end she and those closest to her could be happy with.
Author's Notes
This chapter can be thought of as a first step toward change, for the Nishizumi school and some of its students. It will be up to Miho, Maho, and many others to see this process to the end throughout the coming months and years.
This also looks at Shiho's development. She still is primarily focused on her school's success, but has become more flexible about her methods, which could not only lead to greater success, but also possibly a better relationship with her daughters. It's meant to show Shiho taking a step beyond her single-minded obsession without giving up the pursuits to which she has dedicated her life.
The next chapter will deal with the others' future plans between the finals and graduation, and it will be followed by an epilogue chapter.
Edited to add in a scene in which Miho consults her old friends.
Now for the final Character Analysis, one last look at how the heroine of the series has developed over time.
Character Analysis: Miho Nishizumi
Miho's evolution is based around one simple question- she loves tankery, but how should she do it?
One nuance that the main series did not capture that was present in Little Army was the fact that Miho did enjoy tankery in the past, but not her family's style. She enjoyed simply getting in a tank with Hitomi, Chihiro and Emi, since it's something that she did with her friends, rather than for the sake of upholding her family's good name or fighting for their ideology. When Miho learns what Shiho expects of Nishizumi style tankers, she realizes that it is not a style she can follow, but with her sister and Emi's help, she realizes she does not have to, and seeks out her own way of tankery.
Naturally, it becomes harder to practice this at Black Forest, but it doesn't seem to have been an entirely bad experience. Miho had her sister there (the sisters' relationship could have been explored much more in the main series), as well as some friends, such as Koume. So once Miho saves the tank at the cost of winning the tournament, she still feels forced to transfer out because of the fallout, but does not do so without doubts or regrets.
Once at Oarai, after overcoming her reluctance to do tankery because of her friends, she finds people who are to some degree blank slates. They're inexperienced and open to suggestion, but they are unlikely to do things the Nishizumi way. They also do not expect to win, at least at first, leaving less pressure on Miho.
But while Miho is not as ruthlessly determined as the Nishizumis, she does still want to win for the sake of her friends and eventually, to save her school, for her own sake and that of her friends and comrades. Because of this, Miho has a great deal of empathy for desires that others might consider selfish, and hopes to win so that the individual members can achieve their goals.
The challenges to her school and her way of tankery continue in her final year of high school. She's determined to keep winning in order to prove that her victory was not a fluke, prove that her way of tankery can achieve long-term success, and ensure that her tankery team will be around for a long time. Each opponent she faces challenges her in its separate way, including the belief that Oarai can continue winning unopposed. Ultimately, she is defeated, but achieves a result that she can be proud of, and that she can leave Oarai without regrets.
But where will Miho go now? Her friends are going their separate ways. Any school that she goes into will likely be unfamiliar to her at first, and she will not have the same sort of pivotal role in shaping the team's development that she did at Oarai. With Miho considering her options, Maho hopes that Miho will join her at her university, and in her task of revitalizing the Nishizumi school.
Faced with her sister's offer, Miho is somewhat apprehensive, worrying that her experience at Black Forest will repeat itself, and she will remain under her mother's thumb until she falls from grace and leaves her school, her friends, her sister and tankery itself behind. But she believes things will be different this time ,and rather than going with the flow, she will help shape the future of her family's tankery school, just as she went from being influenced by others to asserting herself, and choosing her own identity, instead of those chosen for her.
The Necessary to Win trilogy is a story of Miho's evolution as a tanker. Said evolution is by no means over, but in the period of time discussed in the story and the flashbacks, she's rejected her family's style, formulated her own way of tankery, and had that way of tankery challenged. She's emerged with greater skill, determination and confidence, and is thus prepared to face what comes her way in the future.