On The Road
Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, but I do own the series on DVD.
Summary: Emily and JJ are ordered to retake self defense classes and are given two familiar faces as their sparring partners.
A/N: Well I decided to update these with the two sequels I had written before. Two different shows I was watched inspired this so I thought, hmmm...
Thanks for reading, remember reviews are nice too.
A Proverb said "The best defense is a good offence."
Emily and JJ walked out of the locker room, only to be startled when Morgan jumped out, "Gotcha."
Both women jumped from the shocked, while the dark man chuckled.
"What the hell was that?" Emily asked smacking the laughing man.
"I was testing your reflexes" Morgan told them, spotting Hotch and Dave walk in, "I heard you two had to retake your self defense courses."
"You're a dick" JJ muttered, glaring at Morgan while the other two men laugh.
"What are you two baffoons laughing at?" Emily asked with a raised eyebrow, going to the center of the mat.
Dave shook his head while Hotch raised an eyebrow, looking over at Morgan.
"Didn't you hear?" Morgan grinned, "You two get to practice fight on some real people this time."
"What?" JJ asked while Emily looked from the three men in confusion.
"You?" Emily asked Morgan, "You're going to be our test subject?"
"One of them" Morgan said "Hotch over here is going to be yours, Princess."
Groaning Emily looked over at her blonde companion who eyed the older man.
"Why not Dave?" JJ asked Morgan.
"Sorry, but my hand to hand recourse days are behind me" Dave said "I'm far too old to rumble, and way too young to get a hip replaced."
Hotch snorted, "And you're afraid you'll get your ass handed to you by the girls."
Dave huffed, "Well then I can't wait to see them hand you yours."
Hotch rolled his eyes, "Whatever, ready?"
"You seriously want to take me on?" Emily asked.
Smirking at the brunette, "Bring it on, Prentiss."
"I'm so going to enjoy kicking you in the crotch" Emily said.
"Better protect your boys, Aaron" Dave warned "She looks serious."
Hotch and Morgan wandered into the mens locker room to get themselves ready, while Emily and JJ exchanged smirks.
"You two need to wipe those cat who got the canary looks off your faces" Dave said.
"If I really had gotten my canary, it'd be you changing in there Dave" JJ said smugly.
Dave raised an eyebrow, "Never been glad to be old than I am now."
Morgan and Hotch came back covered in protective gear making the other three laugh.
"And now after this, we can really kick their asses" Emily said nudging JJ, "Go kick Morgan's ass for every girl that he loved 'em and leave 'em."
"Hey" Morgan protested "Derek Morgan loves the ladies."
"Sure thing there slick" JJ said making a 'come on' move "Be my psycho."
"Come on, Jayje" Morgan said "You know the statistics of psychos and lunatics."
Emily chuckled stretching while waiting on Hotch, "Well if you don't he could always send Reid to bore you with it."
"Emily" Hotch said warningly but was caught off when Morgan charged at JJ only to fall, making Hotch laugh.
"Of course she can defend herself when she sees an attack is coming" Morgan said pouting "You two need to be taken when your defenses are down and you can't see it coming."
Raising an eyebrow at him, when Hotch nodded in agreement, "So what you're going to wait in the bushes lurking? Waiting to pounce on us like sexual predators?"
Morgan smirked when she was knocked down and pinned under Hotch.
"Gotcha" Hotch said smugly.
"Oof" Emily said squirming underneath him "Lay off the fried food Hotch, you're gaining weight."
Hotch groaned when Emily kneed him in the stomach and rolled so she was sitting on top of him, pinning his hands down.
"You're not so tough now are you?" Emily said smirking at him.
Hotch groaned again when Emily twisted his arm and got off him, "You know maybe you should be the one to lay off the fried foods."
Emily stopped in her tracks, JJ and Morgan's eyes widen but Dave shook his head.
"You are so lucky you are wearing a cup" Emily said glaring at him.
Dave interceded, "Its one thing to expect being prepared for an attack against each other, then say some stranger in an alley."
"So what are you saying?" Emily asked "You know we are trained Federal Agents and have gone up against unsubs before."
"Both got knocked in the head by chunk of wood too" Hotch pointed out.
Both women winced at the memory of being hit by wood.
"We know how to take down unsubs and we are trained in carrying fire arms" JJ added.
"Ok, go to the mats" Dave said getting up "We'll do a little refresher course and if you two can successfully fight off Hotch and Morgan, you're clear to go."
Groaning, "This is gonna suck" Emily whispered to JJ.
"Well I'd prefer to wrestle with Grandpa over there, I hope I don't end up black and blue from Morgan kicking me down like I was a god damn door" JJ whispered.
Emily chuckled, "I bet Hotch thinks that glaring at me will make me cower."
"Well have you seen his glare?" JJ smirked.
"We just want you two to be safe" Hotch told Emily and JJ.
"And at what point of tackling me to the mat made me safe?" Emily asked seeing Dave smirk at Hotch.
"That you need to be on alert otherwise someone will get you from behind" Hotch said.
Both Dave and Morgan looked over at Hotch and saw his cheeks turned pink.
"All right, ladies" Dave said walking towards them "Are you ready to take down your attackers?"
Emily smirked, "What these two clowns? We could make them kiss the pavement in two seconds flat."
"With a mouth like yours, you'll need self defense" Hotch said dryly.
"Get into your fighting stances" Dave said "All right, Emily and Hotch you go first. A front choke attack."
Emily turned to face Hotch who rushed at her, grabbing at her neck Emily grabbed hold of his arms and kicked him in the groin.
As Hotch went down on his knees from the kick, she shoved him back elbowing the man in the stomach before tossing him onto the mat where she sat on his stomach.
"Looks like I win" Emily said smirking at the panting man beneath her.
"She can defend herself" Hotch panted out, getting up with the help of Morgan while JJ high fived Emily.
Dave chuckled while Hotch went to a chair to sit down chugging down water.
"And now JJ, Morgan your scenario is a rear tackle attempt" Dave said walking away from the scenario.
Morgan smirked when JJ didn't hear him come up and knocked JJ down tackling her to the mat.
Emily smirked when she saw JJ pull her left leg free and lunged it at Morgan's shoulder eliciting a groan of pain. When Morgan fell backwards JJ used the heel of her shoe nudging him back on to the mat and elbowed him in the gut causing him to curl his leg into a protective ball.
"Hey that looks fun" Emily told Dave "Is there anyway to get a home version of this?"
JJ laughed and got up looking at Morgan giving him a cheeried smile.
"You know I could of easily got out of that but I didn't want to hurt you" Morgan protested.
"Uh huh" Emily said smirking "Right."
"You do know that I was an a black belt in Judo and ran the defense courses for the Bureau but I didn't want to hurt you" Morgan said.
Hotch got up and helped the younger man up, both men looked beat.
Dave smirked then shrugged, "Those weren't on any known self defense courses I've seen during my time with the FBI."
"They weren't" Emily said looking at JJ who nodded "We took street self defense and Krav Maga."
Hotch and Morgan groaned hearing that.
"Sorry to disappoint you boys" JJ said smugly "But we're just better."
Grumbling Hotch gave Emily a glare and muttered, "I better not be bruised."
Emily smirked as she and JJ headed towards the locker room, "Well boys we'd love to stay and kick your ass some more but well lets face it, there's only so much humiliation that someone can tolerate and well we just love you too much to do that again."
Dave chuckled watching the two women enter the locker room leaving both men with alpha male tendencies and pride stewing in the gym.
"Well that was fun" Morgan said looking over at Dave "Thanks a lot for dragging me into this, like I needed to get my ass kicked by a five foot six blonde."
Dave shrugged his shoulders, "No one held a gun to your head, in fact you seemed almost adamant about it."
Hotch just walked over to the men's locker room grumbling, "Tell them they have ten minutes to get back to work."
"When men talk about defense, they always claim to be protecting women and children, but they never ask the women and children what they think." Pat Schroeder
To Be Continued...
Well the comment box below? He's been awful lonely, how about giving him a tap and letting us know what you though?